The Workaholic Down the Hall

by Katharine Sadler

  No, I hadn't considered that. I'd been too caught up in my own pain and fear. “I wasn't trying to hurt her. I just didn't want anything to change between us.”

  “Well, that didn't work out for you, did it? So maybe do things differently this time and talk to her, listen to what she has to say. Maybe, I don't know, maybe apologize for acting like an idiot.”

  “What? I —” But she had hung up, the dial tone beeped in my ear like a chastisement. I groaned. Was she right? Had I hurt Aubrey? She hadn't seemed hurt, she'd seemed completely unaffected when I'd acted like nothing had happened. I'd assumed she was unaffected, I'd assumed it had meant nothing to her.

  I hadn't forgotten that night. I remembered every moment. I remembered the way Aubrey had tasted, salty and warm and sweet. I remembered the way she'd moaned when I'd touched her, the way she'd come apart in my arms. The memory was so vivid, I could still smell her scent when I closed my eyes and thought of her. When I woke up the next morning and she'd looked at me like…Like she expected something, like she was happy to see me, I'd panicked, because I had nothing to give her. I still had nothing to give her.

  I was an idiot who'd gotten drunk and given in to an attraction to my friend, my employee. It was a mistake and I'd done the right thing by moving past it, by pretending it had never happened. I figured Aubrey would understand that. She knew I didn't date. I didn't have time to date, didn't have time for much besides trying to keep the family business afloat.

  Aubrey and I were best friends the way guys were best friends. We got meals together, watched sports together, worked together, but we didn't often talk about anything beyond the surface. Didn't delve into our personal lives. I'd preferred it that way, because I knew if I dove beneath Aubrey's surface, I'd never come back up, never find my way free of her.

  Mom was right, I needed to talk to Aubrey. I picked up the phone and called Jill.

  ***

  “I'm sorry,” I said. I sat in the chair next to Aubrey's on the back porch. She was in warm clothes and had a blanket over her lap. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were pink from the cold wind. Her auburn hair was loose and wind-blown, tucked behind her ears but flipping across her face as the wind blew it around.

  She turned and looked at me, her green eyes bright and crisp like hard emeralds. “For what?”

  I should have told her I was sorry for pretending I didn't remember our night together, but I wasn't ready to go there. Jill had said everything was fine in Atlanta, there was nothing there for me to do, but she'd never really appreciated all I did, how necessary I was to the functioning of the company. I needed to be there, so I needed to keep this conversation short and drama-free. “For accusing you of kidnapping me. Mom explained what happened. I'm sorry you're stuck here, too.”

  She turned her gaze back to the forest and the mountain rising above us. She didn't say a word.

  “She said you had something you needed to tell me.”

  She nodded and bit her lip. She pulled that plump, wind-reddened bottom lip into her mouth and bit down and my dick rose like it was an invitation. I'd never been entirely unaffected by Aubrey, but apparently sleeping with her and not seeing her for nearly eight months had made me ache for her like she was the only woman left on earth and I'd been fed aphrodisiacs for a week. “When we were at your Mom's in Atlanta last spring, when Cody brought Carrie to meet us all. You and I—”

  “I remember,” I said. She wasn't looking at me, but I could see from the tense set of her shoulders that this was hard for her to say. The least I could do was make it easier for her. “We made love.” I'd meant to say something crass like we'd fucked, to remind us both that it had been a purely physical encounter, but my mouth wasn't connected to my brain, apparently.

  She looked at me then, her eyes glassy, her mouth a tight line, her shoulders nearly to her ears they were so tense. Mom was right, I had hurt her by pretending nothing had happened between us. “Why did you pretend you didn't remember? I felt terrible, like I'd taken advantage of a seriously drunk man.”

  “The last thing I felt was taken advantage of,” I said, trying to lighten the conversation, trying to make everything okay again.

  She didn't smile. “Why?”

  And I had to give her a serious answer, because I'd hurt her and I'd never meant to do that. “I didn't want it to change things between us. I was your boss, your friend. It never should have happened.”

  She turned back to the mountain and one lone tear slid down her cheek. “I see.” I'd hurt her again, damn it, but I had no fucking clue how. “What I need to tell you, what I've needed to tell you for a while, is that I got pregnant that night.”

  “No.” The word, along with a horrified tone, was out before I could grab it and yank it back. It wasn't possible. She was tiny, her belly was tiny. She couldn't be more than five or six months along.

  Another tear slid down her cheek. “It's true. You can have a paternity test done after the baby's born, if you have any interest in knowing if she's yours. I won't ask for anything from you.”

  “Of course I want to know if she's mine,” I said, almost automatically. Inside, I was reeling. I may have believed Aubrey would kidnap me, but I knew she wouldn't lie to me, not about something like this. Shit. I was going to be a father. I had a company that was barely holding on to solvency, a mortgage I was behind on, and I already had a family to take care of. Mom depended on the income from the company and so did May. All my brothers and sisters should benefit from the prosperity of the company, if I could ever make it prosperous again. I wouldn't see any of them struggle like my parents had. I remembered all too well the fights over money they'd had, the long hours they'd worked just to keep a roof over our heads. I'd given up sports, I'd put off going to college, finally finishing it through night and on-line classes when I was twenty-eight. I'd hoped I'd get the company in the black and it would be my turn, I'd get to do what I wanted for once, without worrying about how it would affect anyone else.

  Except now, I was going to be a dad. I was going to have another person, two more people who depended on me and I had…Absolutely nothing to give them.

  “You don't have to be involved,” Aubrey said. She was studying me, a worried crease between her brows. “We'll be fine on our own. I just thought you should know.”

  I had a flash of Aubrey on her own, raising our daughter, a daughter I'd never see, and I felt physically ill. I swallowed hard an image flashed of Aubrey standing next to a big, burly, Thor-like guy, our daughter in his meaty paws. Shit. How the hell had this happened?

  “We weren't as careful as we should have been,” Aubrey said. I guess I'd spoken that last part aloud. “I was on the pill, but I'd had bronchitis the week before, remember? I was still on antibiotics. I didn't even think…We weren't doing a lot of thinking that night.”

  No, we hadn't done much thinking. My lips had met Aubrey's, she'd kissed me back and all thoughts had fled other than how quickly I could get her naked and how hard I was going to fuck her. Damn, she had felt so good in my arms, her skin so soft, her body melting into mine…I cleared my throat and returned to the porch, praying Aubrey didn't glance at my lap. “Right,” I said. “And you decided to keep it?”

  Aubrey shot me a look stuck somewhere between disbelief and disgust, but I didn't back down. I wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to know what I'd missed. I couldn't even imagine the difficulty she must have had, the fear when she'd found out she was pregnant. She'd found out she was pregnant and I'd…I'd been the asshole who allegedly didn't recall having sex with her. I didn't blame her for not telling me, but I wanted her to tell me now.

  “I just want to know how it all went down,” I said. “I'd never judge you, no matter what choice you made.”

  Her expression thawed just the tiniest bit and she nodded. “I didn't even know until I was already four months along. I was busy finding a new job and then working that new job and…” She gestured at her belly. “It took a while for me to show, for my pants
to even fit more tightly. And when I did find out…When I knew for sure…I already had a little baby belly and I…” She met my gaze. “Honestly? I love the idea of having a child. I don't have much family and I've always wanted one. That's how I convinced myself it was okay not to talk to you, not to tell you about her…Because I'd choose to have her. I'm fully capable financially and emotionally of raising her on my own.”

  That stung a bit and I wasn't even sure why. I should walk away. I had enough people depending on me already. I should get up and find a way out of that house. But I stayed and I got annoyed at the very suggestion I'd want nothing to do with my child. I was the world's biggest hypocrite. “So you don't need me at all?”

  “I don't need you, but I know our daughter would like to have you in her life. I'm sure of that. And I'd like you to be in my life. I'd like my friend back.”

  Friend. Right. I needed to remember that. She was my friend, soon to be the mother of my child. I needed to put all lustful thoughts on the far, far back burner of my brain. “I don't know how much I can offer,” I said. “But whatever I can scrape together, I'll give it to you and our daughter.”

  That little wrinkle appeared between her brows again, confusion and curiosity, but I didn't feel the need to tell her about my finances or the finances of the family business. “The truth is,” she said. “I've got a fairly large nest egg and I don't need money from you. The only thing I'll ask of you is time. After she's here, I'd like your time.”

  That word, time, stilled me. It was my rarest and most valuable commodity, the only thing I'd really wished to have for a very long time. And now Aubrey was asking me to give it to her and our daughter. I should have been freaking out, should have been running the other direction, but she said that word 'time' and all I could see was a tiny little girl with Aubrey's red hair and green eyes. A little girl I'd hold in my arms and read to and watch football with, if she was so inclined. They needed me and I'd find a way to give them time. I'd find a way to make this work. To be the father my daughter needed, hopefully a better father than my own had been able to be. “I'll be in her life,” I said. “I want to be in her life. In both your lives. I want to be a good friend to you.” And, if the word friend stuck in my throat a bit, it was only because I was overwhelmed by the knowledge that I was going to be a father.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Aubrey

  “She didn't even leave us with any board games,” Noah said. He stalked into the kitchen and sat across from me at the table, where I was stuffing my face with cantaloupe. Nora had stocked the fridge and pantry with fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. No cinnamon buns.

  Noah had changed into jeans and a t-shirt, his feet bare, and he looked comfortable, relaxed, even though he glanced toward the phone on the counter and I knew he was thinking about work, worrying about work. He'd been so angry when he'd thought I'd kidnapped him, I thought he'd walk all the way back to Atlanta. But he was still there and he was willing to try. I wasn't at all sure how to feel about that.

  “She left us plenty of books,” I said. “And there's all that nature outside. Go outside and play. I'll call you when dinner's ready.”

  “Har, har. You can't tell me you aren't bored out of your mind.”

  I was bored. I wanted to be back at the bed and breakfast, busy, not wondering how this was all going to work, how I was going to pretend to just be friends with Noah when I wanted to reach for him and wrap myself around him every time he walked into the room. “It's relaxing,” I lied. “It's good to get away from everything for a while.”

  “Right.” Noah slumped into a chair across from me. “Relaxing.” He glared at me. “Tell me to my face you aren't going out of your mind with boredom.”

  I couldn't lie to his face. My hobbies were playing the stock market, checking in with the rental properties I owned, and looking for new real estate deals. Sitting around, watching T.V. or birdwatching, held little interest for me. “Fine. I'm bored out of my mind. I've already outlined ten different plans for motherhood just to keep from going completely insane.”

  He grinned. The expression widened his face and lightened his eyes, making him look younger and less severe. Had I ever seen him smile like that before? Noah and I'd never had deep heart-to-hearts or talked about anything remotely serious other than work. We'd worked together and we'd gotten together to watch the occasional college ball game. Go Yellow Jackets! We'd helped each other out when one or the other needed a favor. I'd even crashed at his place for a week to deter one of his overzealous exes. Surely we'd laughed together, right? But thinking back, I didn't remember much laughing. I didn't even remember much smiling. I'd crushed on Noah from the first time I saw him, but if he'd grinned at me like that, I'd have been head over heels for him long before we'd slept together.

  “Aubrey?” I snapped back to the present to see Noah with an amused glint in his eyes. “Are you all right?”

  “Yep,” I said. “Just lost in a daydream. Baby stuff.” I looked down at the table as I spoke so I wasn't technically lying to his face.

  “Right.” The amusement in his tone dimmed and I looked up to see his smile was gone, his frown in place. I hated that frown. He should smile all the time. He deserved to be happy all the damn time. “That's what I was saying. I'd like to see those plans. Are you thinking of living here? Have you chosen a name?”

  My heart dropped and I bit my lip not to sigh. He spoke like he wasn't going to be a part of those sorts of decisions. I'd hoped he'd want to be more involved than that. His eyes dropped to my lips and I realized I'd bitten the bottom one hard enough to draw blood. I hated feeling like this, I hated not knowing what to expect, how to handle it all. “I change my mind every day about her name,” I said. “Yesterday, it was Rachel. Today, it's Penelope…Or Sophie. I have no idea.”

  He didn't look at me with shock and horror, he didn't even look at me like I was an amusing crazy woman, he looked at me like what I was saying made perfect sense. “Maybe you need to see her to know the right name.”

  “Maybe. I'll get those plans, though they'll probably be deadly boring for you.”

  He laced his fingers together on the table and leaned forward. “Why don't you just tell me about them?”

  I swallowed. He was leaning forward, his look intense, and all I could think about was that night when he'd leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, the way he'd tasted, the way every circuit and cell of my body had flamed at his touch. I didn't want to talk about plans for the future or worry about how I was going to raise this child and what part he was going to play. I wanted his hands on me, I wanted him to take me away from my own thoughts. Pregnancy hormones were insane and making it even harder to make the right choices. I needed some space. “How about a walk?” I said. “It's a nice day out and I haven't explored the property at all.”

  Something like disappointment flashed across his face. His shoulders sagged and he dropped his gaze to the table for a long moment. When he looked up, he was smiling, but it seemed forced, tight. That was the smile I was used to seeing from him. “Sure,” he said. “That sounds great.”

  We pulled on shoes and coats and headed out into the bright October sun. It would be November in just a couple days and I'd be that much closer to giving birth, to welcoming a new person into my life. My chest tightened and my breath quickened. I stalked toward the forest, seeing what looked like a trail in the undergrowth.

  Noah followed silently. “You want to go for a hike?” he asked. “I thought you just wanted to walk the property.”

  “I need some real exercise. You can go back to the house if you want.”

  “I'll go with you.”

  He didn't sound happy about it, but I couldn't concern myself with his happiness at the moment. I needed to move, to get away from myself. To do something.

  Unfortunately, the trail didn't go far. Only about two hundred feet into the forest before the underbrush took over. We could have kept going, but I wasn't stupid enough to wander around the woods wh
en I was eight months pregnant with no trail to follow. “Some hunters,” I muttered.

  “What?” Noah asked from behind me.

  I turned to face him. “Nora called this place an old hunting cabin.” I wasn't ready to tell him that his mother had bought the house, that I was thinking of living there permanently. I didn't want him to feel like his mother and I were ganging up on him. “I figured there'd be easier access to the trails.”

  Noah looked around, then back toward the cabin. “Pretty nice set-up for a hunting cabin.”

  I followed his gaze. “It probably wouldn't be too hard to make my own trails, though, right?”

  “Sure,” he said. “When you aren't pregnant, hopefully?”

  I shrugged, frustrated and annoyed. I needed to do something and the world wasn't cooperating. “That would be the smart thing to do.”

  “We'll get a map of the area,” he said. “And plan our trail before we make it.”

  And there he was saying we like he'd be around, like he'd help me. I couldn't let myself get my hopes up, though, couldn't let myself expect more than he was able or willing to give. “Sounds like a plan,” I said. “I guess we should head back.”

  He studied my face for a long moment and I waited because it looked like he had something to say. He shook his head, like he'd decided to keep the thought to himself and turned back toward the house.

  Once we reached the yard, I expected him to go straight back to the house, an option I dreaded. Instead, he bent at the edge of the forest and dug at the ground. “What are you doing?”

  “Checking the soil,” he said, looking up at me with a smile. “It's clay mostly. We'd have to put down some topsoil to get a garden going.”

  “I'm no good at keeping plants alive.” I'd been a city girl all my life, so I didn't have any experience with outdoor gardening, but all my indoor plants had died swift, sad deaths. I hoped that didn't bode poorly for my daughter.