She looked at me, eyes wide. “Aren't you bored? You always worked so hard, I assumed you'd be bored out of your mind without it.”
I considered her words. I should be bored, but I was having too much fun getting to know her and Sophie and looking forward to a future of doing what I loved. “I'm okay for now. I'll have classes soon and a job at some point.” The truth was I needed to find a job in the next couple of weeks or I wouldn't be able to pay my rent, but Aubrey didn't need to know that. It wasn't her problem to worry about. “But I'm enjoying the down time. I haven't had it since I was a kid.”
She moved Sophie to her other breast, and I averted my eyes. If I saw her perfect breasts and the soft, smooth skin of her belly, I didn't trust myself not to make a move, not to reach out and touch her. “I'd be bored,” she said. “In fact, I am bored. I know my job as an assistant wasn't exactly rocket science, but it kept me and my brain busy and active. I'm going a little bit crazy without something to do, without somewhere to go every day.”
“You're still investing, right? And you have your rental properties to take care of.”
She shrugged. “That's a hobby, something to occupy my downtime, it doesn't feel like work to me. I like to work. I like organizing someone's day and rushing around, feeling that adrenaline rush when I've got a hectic day and there's a chance I won't manage to get everything done that needs to be done. When I worked for you, I was like your co-pilot, making sure everything was in place, all your meetings were scheduled so that your day and your deals worked out smoothly. Here, there's nothing like that for me to do. I tried to type up an agenda for my day yesterday, but all there was on it was read parenting books and keep Sophie fed. I even organized the kitchen pantry this morning.”
I thought I knew everything there was to know about Aubrey, but her words surprised me. “I don't miss any of that craziness,” I said. “Not even a little bit. I feel like I have space and time now to figure out what I want. I feel like I can use my brain more, that I can find a problem and dig deep for a solution.” Right now, my problem was convincing her to give me another chance, but I knew better than to mention that. She was actually relaxing with me, smiling and opening up a bit.
She shook her head. “I guess we're just different that way. I can't wait to get back to work. I hate that May had to quit her job to help at Nora's Inn. I'm surprised you haven't been over there more.”
I probably should have been over there more often. May was completely overwhelmed and I knew she could use more help. I hadn't abandoned her completely. I'd helped her with breakfast that morning, but I had to devote most of my time to Aubrey and Sophie. That's just the way it had to be.
Aubrey pulled a sleeping Sophie away from her breast and adjusted her shirt. “Sophie's out. We can eat. Unless you think we should wait for Nora?”
Shit. “She's staying at Carrie and Cody's place tonight. She didn't want to risk anyone on the roads.”
Aubrey narrowed her eyes and I knew she was on to me. I just wasn't sure I cared. I had every right to stay there and make sure she and Sophie were safe. “I see,” she said, her tone cool, her expression shutting down. She put Sophie in her bouncy chair. “Sleep long enough for me to eat, okay?” she whispered to our daughter.
She didn't speak much over dinner and I knew I was losing ground with her, ground I wasn't sure I'd be able to regain. I just kept slipping with her, farther and farther away. Aubrey ate fast, like she knew Sophie wouldn't sleep long. She was right. I cleaned up the kitchen while she played with Sophie, and then I went out to the living room to join them.
Sophie was awake and alert like she was ready to stay up all night. Her big eyes were bright and her chubby little cheeks were puffed out as she looked up at Aubrey, who was making funny faces at her. She waved her chubby hands like she was trying to touch Aubrey, but she didn't quite make contact.
I watched them for a bit, awed by Aubrey's beauty and the love she poured into our daughter, a gorgeous, perfect little human that we'd created. Not that I'd done much, I'd just gotten drunk and made a move on a woman I'd promised myself I'd never touch. I couldn't remember why that promise had ever seemed so important. I'd blown my chance with Aubrey the first time she'd walked through my door and I hadn't told her she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
Sophie got bored with Aubrey's game after about ten minutes and Aubrey looked up at me, something like a plea for assistance in her eyes. Or maybe I imagined that, because I wanted so badly for her to need me, to want my help.
I smiled like I had everything under control, and turned on some Christmas music with the help of the Alexa in the corner of the room. “Let's show her how to dance. Teach her to love Christmas music.”
She hesitated, leaning back into the couch like she was trying to maintain that distance between us, trying to remember why she didn't trust me.
“It's for Sophie,” I said. “I think it will be fun for her.”
Her hesitation turned to a blank expression and a tight-lipped smile. “You can dance with her alone, you don't need me.”
I sighed. Why did this woman have to be so difficult? What was it going to take to convince her to let me love her? “I need you. We both need you, Aubrey, and we both want you to dance with us.”
I expected her to make some excuse about needing to go to bed, but she nodded and stood. “Okay. Let's give it a try.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Aubrey
I lay in bed, listening to the soft breathing from the tiny bed next to mine, and stared at the dark ceiling. I stared at the ceiling, but what I was seeing was Noah's warm smile and the curve of his bicep and his fingers woven through mine. I could still feel his warm breath on my neck as he held me and danced with me, the way his words whispered against my skin as he sang along to the Christmas songs. I was an idiot for agreeing to dance with him and an even bigger idiot for not putting a stop to it as soon as I realized how good it felt to be held by him, how much I loved the way he smiled at Sophie and included her in our dance.
I'd kept dancing with him, because I was tired of fighting against hope. I was tired of maintaining a distance I despised. Except now I was lying in bed and fighting the urge to go to him, to crawl into his bed and give in. To just let him hold me. He'd been there every day, he'd shown me in every way possible that he was serious about sticking around, and I felt like the meanest woman in the world for not accepting what he was offering. If it weren't for Sophie, I'd believe him, but Sophie complicated things. He wasn't just trying to win me over because he wanted me, he was trying to win me over because he wanted this idea of a family, or maybe he just wanted to do the right thing by me and Sophie.
I flung myself onto my side and huffed out an annoyed sigh. Was I being too careful? Was I destroying the possibility of something great between me and Noah? Did it matter if he was only there for Sophie if the end result was that he loved us both? I knew real life wasn't a fairy tale. Maybe it should be enough that Noah was there, maybe it should be enough that he was attracted to me and could possibly grow to love me. But it wasn't enough. I was still that little girl who'd lost her parents and just wanted to be wanted, wanted to be loved with an overwhelming, unconditional kind of love. When I was a kid, it had been a child's desire for love, but as I'd gotten older, it'd evolved into an adult's desire for romance, for the kind of love that swept me up and made me forget I'd ever been alone.
I flipped again and sighed again. I was being an idiot. Noah was everything I wanted. So what if he'd had to be convinced to want me, too? What mattered was that he was offering himself to me and Sophie, that he wanted to be there for us. What mattered was that his arms were warm and he wanted me. He might not love me, but I knew he wanted me, that he could put out the flame of desire that dancing with him had ignited.
I rolled onto my belly and huffed. It might be wonderful to have Noah, to make a family with him, until he woke up one day and realized he wanted a woman he loved desperately, not one he'd accidental
ly knocked up, who he'd sacrificed his career and his life in Atlanta for. I couldn't do that to him, I wouldn't.
I flipped onto my back and stared at the ceiling for several more long minutes before I accepted sleep wasn't going to come. I got out of bed, slipped my feet into slippers and tiptoed downstairs. I'd just have some of that chamomile tea Noah had given me and hope it was strong enough to fight against my overactive brain and libido. I stepped into the kitchen and over to the stove, focused on the tea pot and the basket of tea bags next to it.
“Couldn't sleep?”
I started and slapped a hand over my mouth to stifle my scream. I spun to see Noah seated at the dining room table. “What are you doing up?”
“I'm watching the snow fall,” he said.
I stepped over to stand next to his chair and looked out the window. The moon was full and bright, reflecting off the snow-covered ground and the fat flakes that drifted slowly to earth. It was gorgeous and peaceful. I stood and watched, transfixed.
“Want me to make you some tea?” Noah asked. He pushed his chair back and stood, suddenly so close that we were practically touching, his hard chest centimeters from my nose.
“No, I got it.” But I didn't move. I couldn't have moved from that spot if I'd wanted to. I tilted my head to look up at him, my whole body thrumming with desire. Desire and the need to let go of my worry and over-thinking. He met my gaze, his blue eyes dark, and his big hands wrapped around my waist like he was as drawn to me as I was to him.
“Aubrey,” he said, his voice husky.
And something in me snapped. I'd been fighting so hard and I just couldn't fight anymore. I popped up onto my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. For a moment, he didn't move. He was solid marble, cold and immobile. Then he tightened his grip around my waist, lifted me and put me away from him. “I can't do this,” he said. “Not until we talk—”
“I'm tired of talking. I want you. Tonight.”
“And tomorrow we go back to pretending to be friends? To denying this pull between us?”
“Yes,” I said. “No.” I shook my head. “I don't know. I don't want you to be here out of some misdirected sense of obligation. You deserve to be free to live your own life, not tied down—”
He grabbed my waist and yanked me tight against him. Tight enough that I could feel his hardness against me. “Does that feel like I don't want you? Does that feel like obligation?”
“No, but…”
“I'll be here, Aubrey. Every day. Until I convince you this is where I want to be more than anywhere else in the world. I'll be here every night, until you believe your body is the only one I want and inside you is my favorite place to be.”
I dissolved against him in a mess of lust and wanton desire. He squeezed my waist with one hand and gripped my chin with the other. “Tell me you believe me.”
“I believe you.” I didn't recognize my own voice it was so husky and raw. I had no choice but to believe him, I didn't have any fight left in me to deny him. And I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him. Happiness swelled and whispered through me and I couldn't stop the smile that followed.
He growled and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me with a voraciousness that had me pressing myself against him, so desperate for him I could scream. He anchored me in place, holding me still while he kissed my mouth and then my chin and my neck, taking his time to press his lips to every part of me he could reach.
“Please, Noah.” I rolled my hips, angling for some sort of relief, but he held me off, held me in place. I reached for the waistband of his sweats, but he grabbed my wrists and pushed my arms behind my back as he pressed kisses to my chest. He gripped both my wrists in one hand, holding them behind my back and using his other hand to move my shirt so he could kiss lower.
“Do you need something, sweetheart?” He pressed his mouth over my breast, bare beneath my thin t-shirt. He flicked my nipple with his tongue and I moaned. I was so close, just from his kisses.
He straightened to face me, mischief and want dancing in his eyes, his amused smirk twitching. He looked…He looked so happy. Had I done that to him? I let myself believe I had. I believed he wanted me as much as he'd said he did. “What was that you said you needed?”
“I need you inside me,” I said.
“Okay.” But he just kissed me again, his tongue tangling with mine, teasing.
He leaned back. “Like that?”
“No.” I was panting, finding it hard to speak or even think.
“No?” he asked, mock confusion twisting his face, even as his lips twitched with amusement. “I'm trying here, Aubrey, but I really don't know what you want.”
“I want you to fuck me.” My voice was breathy, my whole body shaking with want.
“I think I need more details,” he said, his amusement fading, his own voice husky.
“I want you to lay me down and I want you to fuck me, hard.”
His eyes heated and he finally yanked me against him, shoving his thigh between mine so I could get that much needed friction. “I think I'm getting the idea, but I want to make sure I get this right. Tell me more.”
I rode his thigh, panting and moaning like a porn star. “I want you to lay me out on this kitchen table. Don't even bother to take off all my clothes, just enough to get your cock deep inside me, and I want you to fuck me like making me come is your entire purpose in this life.”
He groaned and shuddered.
“Do you understand, now? Or do you need more details?”
He lifted me to sit on the kitchen table. It was a sturdy table, but untested for this sort of activity. If it broke, I couldn't say I'd care. Noah pulled my shirt over my head and I lifted my hands in the air to help. He pushed me back down on the table, my arms still above my head. He pulled off my sleep shorts and my slippers and just stared at me, the full moon lighting my naked body almost as well as daylight. I could certainly see him clearly, his chest heaving, his face contorted by something akin to pain, his sweatpants tented. I watched, waiting for him to get naked, but he didn't move, as transfixed by me as I'd been by the snow earlier. “So fucking gorgeous,” he said, his words a breathy sigh.
He pulled his shirt over his head and I expected him to pull his pants off, but he dropped to his knees and put his mouth on me. I was so close to orgasm, just from him kissing me, that it didn't take me long to get off from the feel of his tongue caressing me and fucking me. He only used his tongue, and I was screaming with my release in seconds.
He was there, over me, his hand tight over my mouth, from one breath to the next. “I'm going to need you to be quiet,” he said. “I want to take my time with you.”
And then he dropped back to his knees and went back to kissing me in my most private of places. “Noah, please,” I said. “I need you inside me, I can't—”
My protestations were interrupted by another orgasm, this one more intense than the first. I bit down hard on my lower lip and fisted my hands over my head to keep quiet while my body shuddered with release.
Noah rose over me again, his eyes molten. “You are perfection,” he said. He thrust into me, all the way into me.
I flinched and he paused. “Are you okay? Are you ready for this?”
I was more than ready for this. “If you stop, I will kill you.”
He chuckled and thrust again. “I'm not going to last long. It's been awhile. You sure you want to stick to your request for hard, since it will also be fast?”
I nodded, so turned on I could barely speak.
He groaned and his eyes lowered to my lips. Then he thrust again and again, hard and fast, and he slipped a thumb between us, hitting just the right spot with just the right friction and I was lost. We climaxed together and he pressed soft kisses to my lips, my face, my breasts, as we caught our breath. Then, he carried me upstairs and held me tight while we slept. I ignored the little voice that warned me I was getting too close, because it was wrong. I relaxed into Noah's arms and into his promise that he wa
nted me, that he'd never leave.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Aubrey
“Merry Christmas,” Nora said. I walked into the kitchen, Sophie in my arms, and smiled at the mingling scents of coffee and something sweet. The day before, after our night together, Noah had gotten a call for an interview with a local landscaping firm. Honestly, I'd been glad for him to leave the house. He'd been a perfect gentleman, but I'd needed the space to think without his mind-numbing scent and body present. He'd texted me several times and even called me last night. He said his interview had gone well and he was confident he'd gotten the job. He'd planned to come back here, but then the bed and breakfast had gotten slammed with a surprise rush of guest. Apparently, a large family had decided to spend the holiday in Catalpa Creek, and Noah hadn't wanted Cody to miss out on Christmas preparations with his own family.
“Merry Christmas, Nora,” I said. Sophie had slept well, which meant I'd also slept well. I was excited for a fun day of Christmas festivities. I still wasn't sure exactly what to do about Noah, but I'd figure that out after the holiday.
“Do you know when Noah will arrive? I haven't heard from him since he brought me back here the other night.”
The sound of the front door opening and closing stopped me from answering. Noah popped into the kitchen, all smiles, his expression bright and cheerful, his arms laden with bags of presents. “Merry Christmas, ladies.” He put the bags down and walked over to kiss my cheek. He took Sophie and cradled her. He smiled down at her. “Merry first Christmas, sweetheart.”
My heart ached and I knew I was in way over my head. I turned from Noah to help Nora fix breakfast.
“This is a lot of food for just the three of us,” I said.
Nora looked over my shoulder at Noah, brows high. He cleared his throat. “Jenna, Jared, and May are joining us for breakfast.”
I turned to Noah, who was still holding a very happy Sophie. “I thought they had other commitments.”
The Workaholic Down the Hall Page 23