“I convinced them that the best Christmas present they could get you would be their presence. They changed their plans.”
My heart swelled so full I thought it might burst. “That's so nice of them.”
“We were happy to do it,” May said from the kitchen doorway. She walked in and pressed a kiss to my cheek. Then she kissed Noah and Sophie and Nora, before snagging a cinnamon bun from the cookie sheet on the stove.
“May Westerly Reynolds,” Nora said. “Those aren't baked, yet.”
“I know,” May said, her grin wide. She chomped into the biscuit. “'S good,” she mumbled around her bite.
“That is beyond disgusting,” Noah said.
“There's raw egg in that,” Nora said. “You're likely to make yourself sick.”
May shrugged and kept chomping. I agreed with Noah that it was gross. It wasn't like eating raw cookie dough. But May seemed to love it.
Nora stuck the rest of the cinnamon buns in the oven before May could eat anymore.
By the time the buns were done, making the whole house smell like cinnamon and sugar, Jill and Jenna had arrived. Jared was on duty at the emergency animal hospital and couldn't make it.
Jill and Jenna gave me big hugs and fussed over Sophie like she was a princess. Jenna held Sophie, but Jill looked supremely uncomfortable about the idea of holding her.
“Let's not keep Sophie waiting,” Noah said. “Let's open presents.”
I opened my mouth to suggest we eat breakfast first, because I was starving and less-than functional when my blood sugar was low, but everyone else cheered the idea and started passing around presents.
Someone handed me a big box and I plopped into the nearest chair. I held the present in my lap and watched as Jenna held Sophie and May opened a gift for her. Sophie's little arms and legs bobbed in excitement and wonder lit her face. I thought I saw the hint of a smile curve her lips, though it was still a bit too early for her to smile, according to the baby books.
I was so focused on Sophie, I didn't notice Noah pull a small package from the pile under the tree. A very familiar small package. I didn't see him open it, didn't even realize he had it, until he knelt next to my chair, the shiny key in his palm. “Aubrey,” he said. “Is this what I think it is?” His smile was so big I thought his cheeks might crack.
Damn it, my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe. He was holding my heart in his palm and it suddenly seemed like too much, too fast. After our night together, I'd felt so strongly that he was telling me the truth, that he wanted to be me with me, but now…I wasn't ready for any sort of declaration in front of his family and he…He would feel even more pressure to accept what I was offering with everyone watching. I grabbed the key from him and wrapped it up in a tight fist. “It's nothing,” I said in a low voice, hoping not to get everyone's attention. “Just a —”
“Is that a key to this house?” Noah asked, speaking in his regular voice and drawing the attention of his whole family.
My cheeks heated and I wished I could disappear or start this day over. I'd planned for the two of us to be alone when he opened that, I'd planned to ask him to move in with us. I liked him being there and I trusted he was there because he wanted to be. I didn't want to push him away or put him off anymore. I just wanted him. And I still wanted him, even though my heart was pounding so hard I thought I might choke on it. Even though telling him the truth meant risking rejection in front of his family. “It's a key to this house. I want you to move in with me and Sophie if you want to, of course.” Damn, my chest hurt. I wished I could take the words back, could stuff them back inside and have a do-over. Of course, he didn't want to move in with us. He had an apartment. I was pushing way too hard.
Somehow, Noah's smile got even bigger. He grabbed my hand and squeezed so hard I was worried for my circulation. I'd never seen him like this before, practically giddy. “I want to move in with you and Sophie more than I want anything else in this world. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to my lips, but I pushed him away before it got heated. His family was watching and…But they weren't watching, they were focused on their own gifts, giving us space and privacy.
“Can I have the key?” Noah asked. He was close, very close, his breath a warm whisper against my ear. His arm slid around my shoulders as his other hand gently pried open my fisted fingers. I sighed and did my best to stop freaking out. This was what I wanted. So what if he'd seen me in pajamas and yoga pants, hair messy, date of last shower taken unknown, before we'd had even one romantic date? It would be okay.
I forced myself to smile and handed him the key. “Of course.”
He grinned. “I've got something for you, too.” He walked over to the tree and bent, giving me a very fine view of his very fine posterior. Before I could really enjoy the view, Sophie sent up an ear-piercing shriek. I looked over to see her chubby little arms in the air, as she reached for me. She was on Jenna's lap, but I guess she'd decided she needed her Mama. I walked over and picked her up. I expected her to need to feed, but she snuggled against my chest and quieted as I bounced and rocked her. I rubbed a hand over her back and felt…Wetness. Sticky wetness. I kissed the top of her sweet head and looked down to see brown streaking the back of her adorable little Christmas outfit. I needed to get her upstairs and into a bath. Before I spoke to let everyone know where I was headed, I realized the room had gone silent.
I spun slowly to find Noah on one knee in the center of the room, a small black velvet box in his hand. “Aubrey,” he said. “I—”
“No,” I said. I hugged Sophie more tightly against me. I was a mess. She was covered in poop and there was a very good chance I was also covered in poop, and I wasn't…I just wasn't ready for this. “Please, Noah, don't do this.”
Somehow, the room got even quieter. Noah's smile crumbled and fell. “Aubrey, I need to—”
“Please, Noah. You can't ask me this now, not like this. Please, just stop.”
Proposals were supposed to be romantic, right? They were supposed to be magical. Everything about this felt wrong, forced and hurried and…I'd barely managed asking him to live with us, I wasn't ready for a marriage proposal. Every eye in the room was on me. I was letting them all down. I wished, god I wished, I could say yes. I wished I could be sure this was the right thing. I knew Noah was the right man, the only man for me, but just…Maybe I was broken, but I wasn't ready for this. “I'm sorry,” I said. “I'm so sorry.”
Then, like the coward I was, I turned and ran to my room. I didn't have the luxury of throwing myself on the bed and crying. I took Sophie into the bathroom and stripped her clothes off over the sink. Luckily, the poopy mess hadn't spread to my clothes beyond a small spot on my shirt. I got her in her bath and just focused on the simple task of getting her clean and making her laugh. Figuring out what to do about Noah could wait.
Once she was clean, I got her bundled in her towel and diapered and then I changed my shirt. A part of me hoped Noah would come to find me so we could talk without an audience, but he didn't. I cried for a few minutes while I nursed Sophie and rocked her to sleep, but it was hard to feel too sorry for myself with her sweetness in my arms.
I'd just laid her down for a nap, when there was a small knock at the door. “Come in,” I said, my heart flipping with anticipation. My heart was destined to be disappointed.
“Are you okay?” May asked from the doorway.
“I'm sorry,” I said in a low voice, trying not to wake Sophie. “I shouldn't have run out that way. It was incredibly rude of me.”
May sat on my bed. “My brother is an idiot, but his heart was in the right place.”
“I know. I just…” I rubbed my temples, considering my words. “Did you know we haven't even gone on a real date?”
May shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself.
“I don't know what his favorite food is or what kind of music he listens to.”
May's eyes widened. “But you're his best friend.”
“Because we at
e pizza and watched sports every week. We never talked about anything real. We never really got to know each other.”
May shook her head. “I don't buy that. You may not know his favorite food or his favorite color, but you know him. You know he loves his family more than anything in this world, you know he's loyal and a hard worker.”
“Of course.” I tried to find a way to explain it to her. “That's why I fell in love with him, that's why I know he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
She frowned, clearly disapproving. “If you know that, why didn't you just say yes?”
I gave her a long look. “Things are more complicated than that.”
She sighed. “I know. I just want Noah to be happy, and I know you'll make him happy.”
“I can't just go from being best friends to being engaged with no segue. I want to date him, I want the romance. We've done everything completely backwards. I want some time, just me and him. Is that selfish?”
May shook her head. “I get it, but he thinks you rejecting his proposal means you've rejected him. He thinks he's blown whatever chance he had with you.”
My heart sank. I never wanted him to think that. “I wasn't rejecting him, I was just…I can be a tiny bit controlling sometimes, and—”
“You don't say.”
I rolled my eyes. “I just don't want to rush into marriage. When he proposes, I want to know it's because he loves me as his best friend, as the mother of his child, but also as the love of his life, as his lover and his romantic ideal.”
She whistled. “Tall order, Aubrey.”
“I don't settle.”
“I have an idea,” she said, mischief dancing in her eyes, “if you're willing to accept my help.”
“You can't make any more of a mess of this than I already have.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Noah
“I can't believe you did that,” Cody said. “Don't you remember what happened when I tried to surprise Carrie with a wedding?”
Cody and I were sitting on Cody and Carrie's back deck, bundled up so we could drink his wine and not disturb the kids. “I asked her to marry me, it's a completely normal and common thing to do. I didn't plan the wedding and wait for her to show up and fall at my feet.”
He scoffed. “You haven't imagined the wedding?”
The image of Aubrey in a flowing white gown flashed in my mind. I figured we'd get married at Cody's winery, keep it small, just the family and a few close friends. “Doesn't every man who asks a woman to marry him?”
He gestured with his beer bottle to concede the point. “The last you told me, you were trying to convince her to trust you, to let you in just a little bit. Did you think proposing in front of our family was the way to get her to open up to the possibility of you two as a couple?”
“She did open up to me. Two days ago. I wanted to prove to her I wasn't going anywhere. Proposing was the best way I could think to do that.”
Cody snorted. “Or you wanted to claim her as your fiancée before she shut down again.”
I shrugged, it amounted to the same thing in the end. “Can you stop beating up on me and tell me what to do next?”
“Naw. I think I'll beat up on you a little while longer, it's not often you do something this idiotic.”
I stood. “I knew I should have talked to Carrie first.”
He grabbed the elbow of my coat and pulled me back into my seat. “Sit. Carrie's been up with the kids since four. If you interrupt her me time, she won't have any energy left for Cody time.”
“Then start giving me some good advice.”
Cody leaned back in his seat and stared up at the night sky. The lights from the street interfered a bit with the view, but it was dark enough in the backyard to see more than a few stars and a bright, full moon glittering in the clear, dark sky. Cody hummed and then sighed. “Fucking hell. You should talk to Carrie.”
“Good.” I got to my feet. “I'm freezing my ass off out here, anyway.”
I could feel his smirk as much as I could see it in the dim light of the moon. “No way. I can't have you in there waking up the kids. I'll send her out to you.”
“You're going to force your wife to come out in the cold?”
He shrugged. “Maybe she'll say no and you can come talk to her in the morning like a civilized human.”
He went inside. I shivered, envying his escape from the cold. I checked my phone for the five-hundredth time, just in case Aubrey had called to say she'd changed her mind. It felt wrong to be at Cody's house instead of at Aubrey's with her and Sophie, but I'd done enough pushing for one day. I needed to give her some space.
I was ready to give up on Carrie stepping onto the deck, when the back door creaked open and she appeared. She took Cody's seat and wrapped a blanket around herself. I didn't know Carrie well, had only talked to her a few times, but I'd take advice anywhere I could get it. “Cody said you messed up with Aubrey and you want my help. What did you do? Did you abandon her for your job again?”
I sighed. “I didn't abandon her, I needed to work.”
She showed no sign of compassion or understanding. She just stared me down, waiting.
“I proposed,” I said. “And she said no, looked at me like I'd killed her favorite kitten, and ran like the house was on fire.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “I didn't realize you two were dating.”
“It's kind of hard to date when we have a newborn.”
“Oka-ay. You aren't technically dating, but there must have been some sort of romance for you to think a proposal was a good idea.”
It was my turn to glare at her. “Cody staged a surprise wedding for you while you were broken up and me proposing without dating her first surprises you?”
She gave me a small nod. “Fair point. So, you proposed out of the blue with no fore-warning? That's either really brave or incredibly stupid.”
“I'd go with the second option since she turned me down,” I said. “But it wasn't entirely out of the blue, I've mentioned marriage before and I've told her I'm here to stay. I love her.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open again. “You do? I thought…” She shook it off. “Did you tell her that before or after the proposal?”
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. It was damn cold out here. “I was going to tell her during the proposal, but she stopped me before I could say anything.”
“Let me see if I understand this. You've never told her that you love her, there's been no dating or any sort of wooing—”
“I wooed her. I've been at the house almost every day cooking and cleaning and playing with Sophie so Aubrey can get a shower or a nap. Doesn't that count for something?”
Carrie smiled. “It counts, but it's not anything a good friend wouldn't do. May's probably done a lot of the same stuff. So, as I was saying, there's been no dating or romantic wooing or confessions of love and you proposed out of the blue?”
Well, when she put it that way…”In front of Nora, May, and Jenna.”
She grimaced. “Okay, yeah, that's a lot to put on any woman, but a woman with a new baby…” She stared up at the stars, considering for several long moments, before a slight smile formed on her lips. “How much are you willing to put into this?”
“Whatever it takes,” I said. “The only thing I have left to lose at this point is Aubrey.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Aubrey
I'm an adult, so I was capable of admitting I may have overreacted to Noah's proposal of marriage. It really was a sweet gesture but…Nope, I still couldn't think about it. I just wished he was back.
“If you want some time to yourself,” Nora said. “I'd be happy to watch Sophie for a little while.”
Nora had been such a good friend to me, and such a good grandmother to Sophie. She hadn't said anything about Noah's proposal or my reaction to it. She, May, Sophie, Jill, Jenna, and I had opened the rest of the presents, except fo
r the ones to or from Noah and had a nice lunch together. Everyone except me and Sophie had headed over to Cody and Carrie's for a couple of hours, while Sophie and I napped, but May and Nora were both back now and watching Christmas movies with me. Sort of. May had been texting on her phone most of the time. She still hadn't revealed her plan to resolve my situation with Noah and I was beyond suspicious of her texting.
“That's a great idea,” May said. “We should go out.”
I snuggled further under my blanket, quite happy to stay home and feel sorry for myself. “I'm pretty tired. I think I just need to go to bed.”
“It's only seven thirty,” May said. “Come on. You need a night out to get your mind off my idiot brother.”
I glanced at Nora, but she didn't look pissed about May's abuse of her older brother. In fact, she smiled and nodded her approval. “Noah is a good man, loyal and hardworking, but he's always been a bit socially inept. I blame myself for not insisting he go out more often.”
Socially inept was not a phrase I'd use to describe Noah, but I was in no mood to defend him. “I—”
“Please,” Nora said. “Go out and have fun. I'd love some one on one time with my grandbaby.”
“Perfect,” May said. She leapt from the couch, phone still in hand, and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the couch and dragging me toward the stairs. “I'll help you get ready.”
“I'm pretty sure I can manage putting on a pair of jeans and a sweater.”
May ignored me and continued pulling me up the stairs. Once in my room, she shut the door and headed straight to my dresser. She dug around and pulled out my favorite pair of pre-pregnancy skinny jeans and tossed them at me. They hit me in the face and landed in my lap. May didn't notice, she dug around some more drawers in my dresser, sighed and turned to my closet. She spent all of three minutes in there before she pulled out a slinky red top I considered my lucky, first-date top. I always got asked out for a second date when I wore that shirt.
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