Family Forever

by Valerie J. Clarizio

  She nodded.

  “There are only so many dollars to go around. If he’s paying you to take care of the house, working the farm himself saves money on that side.”

  She’d never thought about that before. In the beginning, he simply offered her a job and she took it. The air drained from her lungs, so it was her fault he was strapped into working such long hours. She felt terrible. “So it’s my fault—”

  “No, that’s not what I meant,” Cole cut her off. “Either he’s doing the housework and paying someone to farm or he’s doing the farm work and paying someone to do the housework and help with my brothers. No one person can do it all, and I’m guessing the situation he has going on right now is the most pleasing to him.”

  Marissa cocked her head to the side. “What exactly do you mean?”

  Cole leaned toward her. “Like I said, I’m sure he prefers the farm work over the housework, and he probably needed a break from my brothers. You know how they can be.” He paused and grinned. “And, he’s got you in the equation now as well.”

  “Yeah, good for him, another person to take care of. Bet he’s thrilled.”

  He leaned closer to her, invading her personal space. “It may have started that way, but I can guarantee, it’s not that way now.”

  Her cheeks flamed. Was he really implying what she thought he was? Did Dylan really feel differently for her than she suspected, more than that of a sister?

  “Judging from the way he acts I think you’re dead wrong.”

  Cole shook his head. “Dylan’s just the careful, cautious type.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s his nature to over-analyze everything and make sure his ducks are in a row before proceeding. Plus, as you know, the poor guy’s got a lot on his plate, has for a long time.” Cole’s gaze landed on the tabletop. “I thank God every day that I have Dylan for an older brother. I don’t think I could have done what he did after our parents died, stepping in like he did, never missing a beat, making sure me and my brothers have everything we need or want. He wasn’t much older than I am now when our parents died and he assumed all that responsibility. I can’t imagine how that must have felt to him. It would have scared the hell out of me to become the responsible party at such a young age." Cole paused and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before lifting his gaze to meet hers. "I will be forever grateful to him.”

  That had to be the sweetest thing she’d ever heard, and she was shocked such words would come from a young man, and with such conviction. She wondered if Dylan had a clue as to how much Cole loved him, and appreciated him. Dylan and Cole shared many similarities, they were both good, caring men. But they were also very different in ways. Cole was somewhat at ease socializing and sharing his feelings. Dylan was quiet and reserved. She wondered if he’d always been that way or if he changed over the course of time.

  Cole’s watery gaze stayed glued to her.

  She reached over and rested her hand on his forearm. “You could have done it, no doubt in my mind. You Jacobs men come from fine stock.”

  Dylan and Luke returned to the table and took their seats. Luke licked his vanilla ice cream cone. Marissa followed Dylan’s gaze as it zoned in on her hand still resting on Cole’s forearm. His eyes widened. She pulled her arm back as if she’d just touched a hot wood burning stove. Could she have acted any guiltier? Cole leaned back and risked a knowing wink in her direction.

  * * * *

  Dylan checked his watch again, it was nearly midnight. Why on earth had he allowed Marissa to go with Cole to Jake’s party?

  Good grief, what was he thinking? She was a grown woman, who didn’t need his permission to do or not do anything.

  He paced through the kitchen again and was just about to snag a beer from the fridge when the phone rang. His chest constricted. Who was calling at midnight? This couldn’t be good. He swallowed hard before picking up the phone.

  “Hello.”

  Loud music blared in the background.

  “Hey, broskie, we need a ride home,” Cole slurred.

  “What?”

  “Can you pick us up? Marissa, well, let’s just say she’s ready to go home.”

  “What do you mean she’s ready? Has she been drinking? Is she okay?”

  The pause on the other end of the line let Dylan know he should stop the accusatory questioning before his brother got angry. Perhaps angry enough to chance driving himself and Marissa home. His brother had done the responsible thing by calling for a ride.

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  Dylan woke Aric to let him know he’d be leaving before he shot out the door.

  He parked in Jake’s driveway and was just about to fling his door open when he saw Cole and Marissa stepping off the wrap-around porch. His brother’s arm was slung over Marissa’s shoulders and she leaned into him as they walked. They were laughing about something but he didn’t know what.

  Cole opened the passenger door of the vehicle and lifted Marissa into the truck. She flipped the center console up and scooted close to him. His brother slid in beside her. They were both still laughing.

  “Take it you guys had a good time?”

  She craned her head to look at him directly. “It was so much fun. You should have come with us.” She pointed at Cole over her shoulder. “I’m glad Cole invited me to come along.”

  So much excitement radiated from her he was unable to bring himself to begin the speech he rehearsed in the truck on the way over. He intended on reminding both her, and his brother, that the legal drinking age was twenty-one, and by his math, neither of them were of that age. Cole was close, but not there yet, he had another month. Marissa’s excitement wasn’t his only holdup, he’d done his share of underage drinking, not a lot, but some. And seeing as how that wasn’t all that long ago he still understood the allure of it.

  Marissa struggled with her seatbelt. “Oh for crying in a bucket. What in the heck is wrong with this thing?” she asked as she held the belt in her hand and looked up at Dylan.

  He took the belt from her and snapped it into place.

  She scowled. “Stupid thing.”

  He nearly laughed at her exaggerated exasperation but caught himself. However, Cole didn’t catch his chuckle. Marissa playfully slugged his brother in the shoulder. They laughed and shared a glance. Though he should be happy for his brother, jealousy coiled in the pit of his stomach.

  Who was he kidding, it’s not like he and Marissa would work out anyhow. She had her whole life ahead of her, starting with college in the fall. She was young and she deserved to have fun. What did he have to offer? Nothing but tons of responsibility—five brothers to care for, okay, Cole was kind of on his own, so only four brothers. He may as well accept the fact he was going to live a lonely life for a while, at least in terms of the opposite sex.

  As he drove along the country roads Marissa’s chatter trailed off and eventually silenced altogether as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

  Dylan parked in the garage and cut the engine. Marissa didn’t even stir. He glanced over her, at Cole who’d already slid out of the vehicle.

  “How much did she have to drink?” Dylan asked, working to keep his voice calm and non-accusatory in hopes to get a straight answer from his brother.

  “Three or four half glasses of beer. We were playing beer pong. I drank most of them. I assumed she wasn’t much of a drinker.”

  Cole reached for Marissa.

  “I got her,” Dylan snapped, “just get the door.”

  Dylan scooped her tiny body into his arms. She half-woke, threw her arms over his shoulders and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. The scent of her silky strands reminded him of a fresh spring morning. The soft, warm skin of her legs draped over his arm felt heavenly.

  He carried her into the house, through the kitchen and living room, and into her bedroom where he set her on top of the bed. After unbuckling her sandals, he pulled them from her feet and eyed her pink painted toena
ils. There was nothing sexier than a pale blonde woman with hot pink toenails. God, how he wanted this angel who’d nearly been dropped on his doorstep. As he threw a blanket over her, she stirred and sighed. Her eyes fluttered open and she mumbled something he couldn’t quite make out so he crouched down closer to her. “What?”

  She lifted her hand and placed it against his cheek. Warmth shot from his cheek, straight to his core, snapping his nerve endings to full attention.

  “You’re so sweet,” she whispered breathily before her eyes shut again.

  He leaned forward and touched his lips to her forehead. “So are you, sweetheart, so are you.”

  His kiss and words appeared to go unnoticed. That was probably for the best.

  Dylan sauntered to his room to find Luke spread out sideways on his bed. He slid into his sleep pants, eased Luke over to one side of the bed and then climbed between the cool sheets. Within seconds, his brother had his feet pressed against Dylan’s back.

  What seemed like minutes later, but at sight of the alarm clock was a couple of hours, Dylan was awakened to the sound of footsteps drawing closer to him. Marissa’s silhouette defined itself in the darkness. Was he dreaming? He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again. Her outline was still there, only closer. What was she doing in his room?

  Before he had a chance to fling himself off the mattress, she took a knee at the side of the bed. “I’m sorry, Dylan.”

  With her close proximity, he could see the worry in her wide gaze. The whites of her eyes were stained red. She’d been crying, but why? And what was she sorry for?

  He flung the covers back, stood, grabbed her hand and guided her into the living room. He couldn’t have her in his room, or anywhere near his bed. That was just too tempting and too dangerous for him. He motioned for her to sit on the couch, and he sat next to her. “What’s wrong? What are you sorry for?”

  She hung her head as if in shame. Reaching over, he placed his fingers under her chin and edged her head toward him until their gazes met.

  The sight of her watery eyes nearly broke his heart in half. “You need to tell me what’s wrong.”

  She drew in a slow, deep breath. “I’m so sorry I keep disappointing you.”

  What was she talking about? Little did she know, she could never disappoint him, what had he done to make her feel this way? He needed to know so he could remedy the problem. “Why do you think you disappointed me?”

  “I saw the way you looked at me and Cole when we climbed into the truck at Jake’s house. It was the same look you gave me when I accidently forgot to pick Nate up from baseball practice a few weeks back, and the coach had to call you to go and get him.”

  Damn his deceiving judgmental nature. Words escaped him. He wasn’t good at dealing with upset women, especially those he really didn’t want to upset. The desperate look in her eyes told him he’d better find something to say soon or she’d embark on a good ole crying jag, which was the last thing he wanted.

  “I’m not disappointed in you at all. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  A tear slid down her cheek. “I did. You specifically told me to follow the color-coded schedule on the refrigerator. You said that because the boys have so much going on you did a schedule so nothing would get missed. That day I needed to pick up Aric from baseball practice and then go get Nate. You warned me not to let Aric talk me into making any extra stops or I’d be late for picking up Nate. I didn’t listen. I was so sure I could squeeze in letting Aric run into the sporting goods store and still pick Nate up on time, except I was wrong. And when I got to the athletic field and Nate wasn’t there I almost had a heart attack. I thought someone took him until you called and said you picked him up. And then when I got home you gave me a look that made me want to climb in a hole and hide.”

  Good Lord, what was he doing to this poor girl?

  Her gaze landed on the floor. “It was the same look you gave me tonight,” she whispered.

  “Marissa.”

  She sat frozen in place.

  “Marissa, look at me.”

  She slowly turned her head toward him.

  “These things happen. Everything turned out okay that day with Nate.”

  “You never forget. You do everything right,” she interjected.

  Little did she know, he’d need at least two more sets of hands and feet to count how many times he’d felt like a big fat failure through the years when it came to raising his brothers.

  “I wish that were true,” he whispered.

  Her big ocean-blue gaze studied him. “It is, and like I’ve said before, I don’t know how you do it, never losing control like I did last night. I just felt like I needed a break, and going to Jake’s party seemed like the perfect opportunity to provide such.”

  Not wanting to hear anymore, Dylan held up his hand. He felt like such a heel, making a nineteen-year-old girl feel guilty for going to a party. Though in many ways, she was mature beyond her age, he needed to remember how young she really was. What he’d give for her to be a few years older and through the party stage of her life. “As for last night, you’re young, you deserve to have fun, and you and Cole did the responsible thing by calling me for a ride. Furthermore, you are the best thing that has happened to my brothers in a long time.”

  Her intense gaze bore into him, straight into his soul. He tried to look away but couldn’t. He hoped she couldn’t see the truth in his eyes about how he felt about her. He couldn’t admit it, not yet, maybe not ever, for her own good, that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She deserved a normal life, not the kind he could offer her at present, one full of more responsibility than any young woman her age should bear.

  After a moment, her gaze softened, and he would have sworn a look of disappointment flashed through it. A tear glistened on her cheek and it took every bit of strength he had not to reach over and wipe it away with his fingers. Touching her at this very second would be too much of a risk for him. The feel of her soft, pale skin would make him want to kiss her, and that simply could not happen.

  Chapter Eight

  Dylan finished the morning milking and chores, taking extra time in the barn as if that would delay the inevitable—dropping Marissa off at college. Though he’d spent most of the summer avoiding her, especially since the night of Jake’s party when he’d acted like such a heel to both her and Cole, he dreaded this particular day all summer. He didn’t want her to go, his brothers were going to miss her something terrible, he was going to miss her. Plus, her leaving put him back in charge of handling the home front. He’d already made arrangements to use part-time staff to help with the farm chores again, just like before Marissa had come into their lives. On a good note, Aric now had his driver’s license, so he could help with running the younger boys to and from practices and their other school activities.

  When Dylan stepped into the garage, he found Nate and Braden helping Marissa load her suitcase and boxes into the back of his truck. His heart pinged. Yeah, he knew he was driving her to school today so she could move into her dorm room, but the reality of seeing her belongings piled in the back of his truck still felt like a blow.

  “I’ll shower quick, and then we’ll go.”

  She nodded. “I’m all set. Everything is packed.”

  Dylan stepped into the bathroom, nearly all the reminders of Marissa were gone. The spots on the countertop where her bottle of hand lotion and hairspray once stood were vacant. He pulled open the drawer where her makeup had been stored to find it empty. Why wouldn’t it be, she was moving out, onward to bigger and better things. He glanced into the shower, it now looked empty, only his shampoo and soap remained. No reminders of her were present, no fresh rain scented shampoo or conditioner, no pink razor, and no fluffy pink body scrubber thingy hung from the shower nozzle. He wasn’t sure if that body scrubber had an official name but he was sure he missed seeing it already. Countless times he’d lifted that fluffy pink thing and pressed it to his nose. Luckily, h
er scent still hung in the air, hopefully that reminder would linger, or perhaps he should scrub it away with Pine Sol or something, in order to not be reminded of her.

  In hindsight, he almost wished he would have made her share the upstairs bathroom with his brothers, rather than sharing the master bathroom with him. At least under that scenario, he may have never come to know her true tantalizing scent, and it wouldn’t be so difficult to let go of her now.

  After finishing in the shower, he slid into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and found everyone waiting for him in the kitchen.

  “Who’s riding along?” he asked.

  Braden, Nate and Luke all volunteered to help Marissa move into her dorm. Aric wished her well and turned his attention back to the TV set.

  The forty minute drive to the campus had to be the longest drive of Dylan’s life. Though his passengers chatted non-stop he’d hardly made out a word they said. His selfish mind reminded him over and over how lonely he was going to be without her.

  It took only two trips to unload the truck of her belongings. Even at the end of the second trip, there was no sign of her roommate yet. Dylan was curious to meet the person with whom she’d be living, hoping her roommate was as nice a person as Marissa. He knew from experience the importance of liking one’s roommate.

  Wanting to grab as much time as he could with her, he offered to hang around and help her unpack.

  “We have to go,” Nate said.

  “What?” Dylan asked.

  “I have a troop meeting in an hour and a half.”

  That’s right. He had nearly forgot.

  “That’s okay. I got it,” Marissa said with a quick glance around the room. “It’s not like I have a lot of stuff, and I’ll wait for my roommate before I unpack some of my stuff so we can line things up together.”

  Marissa swung her gaze between Braden and Nate. “I’m going to miss you guys.”