In Their Mother's Footsteps

by Mary Wood

  ‘Hello, Mother, how are you?’

  ‘Come this way, Brendan. I have things to tell you, and I don’t want this lot knowing them. Nosy cow!’

  This last bit was aimed at a passing woman who had eyed them quizzically. ‘Don’t call her that, Mother – she doesn’t know what she’s doing.’

  As the woman went on her way, cowering against the wall, Brendan felt angry at his mother. He had visited sometimes and found her in the same state as the woman they had just passed, so he knew the pity of it. But today she looked as though there was nothing wrong with her, so her remark seemed very callous.

  ‘Oh, don’t think about her – she’s mad. Come on, I know a quiet corner.’

  ‘I have to register my presence first, Mother. I’ll go and sign in, and then I’ll come and find you.’

  ‘No! I don’t want them to know you’re here. That way you’ll be able to get me out without them knowing where I’ve gone, or who with.’

  ‘That isn’t going to happen, Mother. I’ll talk to the reception and see if I can have a word with Matron. If she thinks you may be well enough to come out, then I’ll make arrangements: find us a flat, and sort everything properly for you.’

  ‘I’ve things I have to do. Why can’t you get a place of your own now? Why do you stay with that bitch Ada? You’re a man now, not a boy. She’ll be giving you all sorts of ideas, now there’s a war on.’

  Used to the way she spoke about his Aunt Ada, Brendan took no notice of the insult to her, but instead asked, ‘I have moved out, because someone has taken my room. Wait here, Mother, I’ll be back.’

  Returning after registering his visit, Brendan found that his mother had moved further along the corridor and was outside the common room. ‘Come on in, then. There’s no one in here, we can have a chat.’

  Brendan told her about Ginny. She listened and chatted with him about it, remembering folk from up north that she hardly ever referred to. To Brendan, it was a pleasant five minutes and he felt elated that he’d found his mother so well. Wanting to tell her what he could of his work, he asked, ‘You know about the war then, Mother?’

  ‘Yes, we’ve been told, and the radio’s always on. Look, Brendan, I have a plan . . .’ And then, as if she’d really seen him for the first time, she blinked and stared in horror at him.

  ‘What is it, Mother, what’s wrong?’

  ‘She’s done it! I’m too late. She’s got you into the forces! Eeh, no, lad. No. I’ll bloody swing for that bitch!’

  ‘Mother, Aunt Ada didn’t get me into the forces. All young men have to join. Anyway, I can’t tell you what I do, but I won’t be joining the fighting men. My work is here in England. I might be called upon to go abroad, but I’m not in danger. Now, what’s this plan that you have? Mother? Mother, are you all right?’

  His mother’s face had turned purple. Part of him thought it was with rage, but another part of him glimpsed something evil beyond words, as she suddenly spat out her vile hatred of Ada, blaming her for everything. He knew there was no reasoning with her, so he allowed the tirade to go on unchecked. Arguing might only make her worse, as she would then think Aunt Ada had corrupted him against her. When at last she ran out of steam, her body sagged.

  ‘You’re tired, Mother, let me help you to your room.’

  She went without protest, holding his hand as if she were the child, and he the parent. Once inside the ward, the Sister came up to them.

  ‘Mother’s very tired, I thought I would bring her for a lie-down.’

  ‘Come on, Beryl, let’s help you, love. You’ll be as right as anything, when you’ve had a kip.’

  ‘Thanks, Sister.’

  Brendan hugged his mother and then left, feeling at peace with himself, knowing that his now-calm mother was in such caring hands.

  He never left her side without feeling troubled, and so the peace didn’t last long, because all she’d said came back to him as he walked to his car. Oh, Mother. Mother, how I wish you could be well.

  14

  Ada

  London, February 1940 – Revenge is Mine

  Folding the last of the clean linen, Ada looked up as the door opened. Ginny entered with Leah, and Ada felt so proud of how her granddaughter had been such a help to Leah.

  They were oblivious to her presence as they chatted away in a mixture of French and English.

  Ginny had come along so well with her command of the French language, and it seemed to Ada that Ginny could speak it almost as well as Brendan now. Eeh, it does me heart good, to hear her and Brendan bantering and laughing together over their French. But Ada felt a slight trepidation; she had to admit that she did worry for Ginny. It was obvious the girl was in love with Brendan. Not that he encouraged it; his attitude to Ginny was always the same, as if they were brother and sister.

  It was getting to the point where Ada felt she might have to speak to Ginny about it. This was a forbidden love, for they were too closely related. Besides, she couldn’t bear the thought of Ginny getting hurt. And that would happen, when Brendan fell in love with someone else.

  Keeping quiet, Ada thought what a blessing it was, when Leah had arrived here. It had been the saving of the girl. And though she’d faced a lot since then, with the loss of her babby, she was among folk who loved her.

  Edith and Laurent had found out that Leah’s parents’ bodies had been washed up a few weeks after Leah’s rescue. And last week the poor lass had to go the morgue in Devon to identify them. It turned out that she could only do so by her father’s watch and her mother’s earrings, which were still attached to the corpses. There had been no trace of her brother’s body, though – and that, Ginny had said, was playing on Leah’s mind. Poor Leah. Ada didn’t know how she coped.

  After the visit to the morgue, Edith had taken Leah to see the couple who’d rescued her. Thank goodness they were a lovely, understanding pair. They accepted Leah’s apology without condition, and were devastated to hear what had happened to her after she’d left their house. They promised they would keep in touch with her and had already written to her.

  Leah was saving up some money out of what Edith was paying her, and she intended to send postal orders to the couple, when she had a few bob to spare. She was determined to pay off what she’d stolen from them. It shouldn’t take her long, because now she worked long hours doing lots of jobs around the place and was a real help to Ginny. She’d moved permanently into the overnight room and had made it nice and cosy. It was a pleasure for Ginny to stay over, when she might be on call.

  The sound of the girls giggling was good to hear. But Ada had to make herself known, or it would look as if she was spying on them.

  ‘Have you girls got nowt to do then?’

  ‘Eeh, Granny, you gave me a fright. What’re you doing in here? That’s the job of the mothers. You have enough to do!’

  ‘I’d caught up and thought I’d give a helping hand. I came in for some supplies to fill the shelves of the surgery and saw a load of sheets dumped in a pile, so I thought the lasses must be busy.’

  ‘They are at the moment. We’ve two lassies in labour, so we thought we would leave a couple of the mothers with them to reassure them, while we make sure we have everything to hand. I was just about to go and have a word with Dr Edith. But I think I’ll send Leah along to fetch her, as Dr Edith will want to examine the girls before she leaves for home. There’s one of them that I’m a bit concerned over.’

  ‘Well then, it’s lucky I happened to come in here, as it’s all shipshape now and one more thing you don’t have to worry about, lass.’

  ‘Ta, Granny. Eeh, if that means you’ve all finished, why don’t you get off home and put your feet up.’

  ‘Happen I will, lass. But it looks as though you’ll not make it home tonight. Look, I’ll go now, and then, when I’ve had a rest and seen to your granddad’s and Annie’s tea, I’ll pop back to see if I can be of use anywhere.’

  ‘You’re a good ’un, Granny – hold on a mo.’ Ginny s
poke to Leah. As she left the room, Leah said, ‘Oui, I bring Dr Edith. Il n’ya aucun problème – j’y vais tout de suite.’

  ‘Eeh, it’s grand how you can talk to her and understand her, but I’m reet lost when the pair of you speak in French. What did Leah say just now?’

  ‘Oh, she just said that it wasn’t a problem – she would go for Dr Edith immediately. Not those exact words, as French doesn’t translate word-for-word. You have to get the idea of it – it’s all backwards to us. Sometimes I think I’m making progress, then at other times I’m just baffled.’

  ‘By, lass, I’d never understand it in a month of Sundays, but at least I can understand Leah when she speaks English now.’

  Ginny smiled and turned her attention back to collecting items from the cabinet she’d unlocked.

  ‘Ginny, lass. I – I, well, I’m a bit worried about you. I . . . Oh, don’t mind me, I’m being silly. You’re busy, we’ll talk later.’

  Ginny turned; she had a puzzled look on her face. ‘You mustn’t worry about me, Granny. I’m fighting fit. I have a job I enjoy. Life’s good. Of course I still grieve for Mam and Dad, and if I look tired it’s because that grief visits me at night mostly and keeps me awake. On top of that, I have the strain of keeping Leah going, too.’

  ‘You’re doing a grand job. Leah is coming out of her shell. And she’s looking a lot better. I reckon she’s putting on a bit of weight an’ all. God knows, she could do with it.’

  ‘Aye, she’s getting there, though it put her back a bit, going down to Devon. But I reckon that’s normal, and it’s good we have each other. We understand how the other’s feeling without allus having to use words.’

  ‘That’s good. But you know I’m allus here for you, lass. I know how it is for you.’

  ‘I know. But I’m coping. Honestly, I am. Eeh, come here – I’ve not had a hug today, and I could do with one.’

  Ada accepted her granddaughter into her arms and they clung to each other. ‘Eeh, me little lass. I’m glad – so glad – you came into me life. You’ve brought sommat special to me that I didn’t even know I were missing. I love you, me Ginny. I love you all the world, as your dad used to say when he were a young ’un.’

  ‘Oh, Granny. I feel safe when you cuddle me.’

  ‘Then I’ll do it every day. Even if we’re apart, you’ll allus feel me arms around you, lass. Now come on. You’ve to get on, and I’m to get on me way.’ With this, they kissed and then hugged each other more tightly, before letting go. For some reason they both had tears in their eyes as they looked at each other. Then both of them giggled at the same time. ‘Eeh, we’re a pair of soppy ha’p’orths. Give over!’

  Their laughter made them feel even closer and rang out as Ada left the room, giving her a good feeling inside her. But as she walked the corridors, a sadness that she couldn’t put a name to tainted it, and she had the feeling she was leaving something behind. Brushing that thought aside, she sought out Joe, to tell him she was off home and would see him later.

  As she reached the office, Edith was just coming out. ‘Are you off now, Ada?’

  ‘Aye, but I’m returning later. Eeh, lass, I’m worried about Ginny; but now, seeing you, I’m more worried for you. What’s to do? You look done in.’

  ‘I’m just shocked and concerned for Elka and Jhona, and I can’t get Ania off my mind.’

  ‘Eeh, love, I’m sorry about Elka and Jhona. I feel bad, as it were Brendan that recruited them. Oh, aye, he told me that much. He feels reet guilty about it. But he said their skills are so needed, to help their country.’

  ‘I know, I can’t blame him, though I am angry – angry at how the world is, so soon after we sacrificed our all to bring peace.’

  ‘I know, and yet nowt seems to be happening. Not here, anyroad. On the night they declared war, the forecast was all doom and gloom, and I were ready to get into me Anderson shelter and stay there. But nowt’s happened – it doesn’t feel like there’s a war on.’

  ‘It feels like the calm before the storm. I find it unsettling.’

  Ada shuddered.

  ‘Are you all right, Ada?’

  ‘By, lass, I don’t rightly know. I’ve got a weird feeling in me. I reckon as someone has walked over me grave.’

  ‘Don’t say that. Ada, well, I – I have always wanted to tell you that I love you. Oh, you’ll be thinking I’m – how do you put it? – a daft ’a’porth!’

  Although Edith giggled, Ada didn’t join in. There had been a sincerity in what Edith had said, and her giggle was just a nervous reaction at baring her soul. Ada stood for a moment, unsure how to react. For the second time in their friendship she found herself in Edith’s arms. It felt good, and she found she couldn’t let go. Edith’s hug was comforting, and yet it deepened the feeling of trepidation that cloaked her and wouldn’t leave her.

  ‘Eeh, lass, I love you, an’ all. It were a good day when you came into me life. It were as if our Jimmy sent you.’

  ‘You must think me a big softie, but, Ada, our friendship means so much to me. You are the only one I can open up to. You’re my shoulder to lean on and cry on and, yes, to laugh on, too. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.’

  ‘I feel the same, lass. We’ve come through a lot together. And it all started with my Jimmy. Well, I can’t delay you any longer. Ginny needs you. But, Edith, you’re the best friend a girl could have.’

  Edith held Ada and then released her. Ada could see that she was close to tears. For a moment she wished with all her heart that Brendan had not taken Elka from Edith. But then he had his job to do. Just as she and Edith had had, in the last war. They hadn’t faltered and she shouldn’t expect Brendan to, or Elka and Jhona, either. Despite the heartache this war could bring down on all the womenfolk of England, she knew that they too would find the courage they’d need to stand firm and take care of the home front, just as her lot had done. At least that is what she told herself when she wasn’t thinking: Why? Why should they have to? Why is it happening again, and so soon? Didn’t we give enough?

  Ada was surprised and pleased to find Brendan sitting in the kitchen when she arrived home, even though he looked despondent. ‘Hello, lad, what’s to do?’

  Getting up, he held his arms out to her. She went into the warmth of them. ‘Oh, something and nothing. I’m feeling guilty about Elka and Jhona. I so want to talk to someone, but I can’t.’

  Remembering Edith’s anguish didn’t stop Ada supporting him. ‘Look, lad. Whatever you have them doing, they’re adults. You didn’t force them. Yes, you put a proposition to them, and I get the feeling that it is something risky you need them to do. But they had a choice. I’m proud of them – really proud of how they took up the challenge. But now that they have, we have to be here for your Aunt Edith. It’s tearing her apart, having just got her daughter home and then Elka going off so soon afterwards. Have you spoken to Edith lately?’

  ‘No. I don’t seem able to. It’s difficult, as everything has to be top secret. If she has questions, I can’t answer them. I think she knows that and so she is avoiding me.’

  ‘Aye, happen. By, war can make cracks appear in the best of relationships. But don’t let it. Don’t let there be a barrier between you and your Aunt Edith. You’re going to need her more than you can realize.’

  ‘Why do you say that, Aunt Ada?’

  The shudder that had shaken her body earlier trembled through Ada again. ‘I don’t know. Eeh, look at the time. Your Uncle Joe’ll be here any minute. He’d almost finished his day’s work when I left. I’ll just get that cottage pie I made this morning and pop it in the oven, then we’ll have a pot of tea, eh? You’ll stay for dinner, won’t you?’

  ‘Yes, I’d like that. I could do with some company. Though I’d like to change out of this uniform. I left some clothes in the wardrobe upstairs. I’ll go and have a rummage.’

  The gas oven jumped into life as Ada held a lighted match to it. ‘Reet, lad. I’ll have tea brewed for when you come down. Have you
seen Aunt Annie?’

  ‘Yes – and heard her. She’s in the parlour snoring like a good ’un.’

  They both laughed. Ada crossed to the pantry and retrieved the cottage pie from the cold slab. It just needed to heat through and cook the pastry that lined the bottom of the dish, and brown the mashed tatties on the top. It would be good with a few neeps.

  She put her fears down to the stress of everything that had happened recently with Ginny, and little Leah. It was enough to put anyone in the dumps. Getting up from the oven wasn’t an easy task these days, as her knees gave her gyp. Eeh, I’m about ready for the knacker’s yard! Glad she could catch hold of the back of one of the chairs tucked under the table, she pulled it out and sat down.

  The kettle hissed in the background, but a weariness prevented her from getting up and preparing the teapot. She just wished she could shift this feeling. It was as if all the bad things in her life wanted to knock on the door and visit her. Jimmy came to her mind. By, it were wonderful to find out that me Jimmy had fathered a child. But then another thought clouded her happiness, as the scene she’d imagined a million times – her beloved Jimmy standing in front of a firing squad – flashed into her mind, bringing with it a pain that sank her heart as if a lead weight had been tied to it.

  She heard the clicking sound of the latch to the door that led to the stairs, and Brendan stepping back into the room. It soothed her, and his voice, with its light-hearted sense of banter, once more put her world to rights.

  ‘Mmm, it smells good. I can taste it already. You’re the best cook in the land, Aunt Ada. And, despite rationing, you always have a good meal ready for us all.’

  Her spirits lifted instantly. ‘Ha, you’ve a flattering tongue on you, lad. But talking of rationing, I have to do me share of queuing, I can tell you. Though I’ve allus kept me pantry stocked, so I’m not running short of flour and stuff yet.’

  ‘You be careful you’re not done for hoarding – they come and inspect, you know.’

  ‘Get away with you, our Brendan. You’ll have me thinking I’ll be locked up. Hoarding indeed, ha! I bet a few have a bit put by. But it’s what we’ve allus done: a jar of jam for today, and another at the back of the cupboard for a rainy day.’