Just a Little Bit Married

by Teresa Southwick

  “Linc! What are you doing in here?”

  Obviously the adrenaline hadn’t activated all her brain cells yet. “We share a bathroom. Remember?”

  The part of him throbbing insistently wished they could share something even more intimate than that. Not ever going to happen, though. Even if she forgave him, he wouldn’t get married again and she wouldn’t settle for less than that. She’d made it clear ten years ago and the expression in her eyes yesterday when he’d answered her question about why a condo and not a house told him her position hadn’t changed. Then the pity for him rolled in and he couldn’t stand it.

  “Sharing,” she said. “Right. I’m sorry for barging in.”

  “No. I’m sorry. Should have locked your side, but I didn’t. Just in case you needed something...”

  She cocked her thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll just leave and give you your privacy.”

  When she looked this hot and sexy, privacy was highly overrated. “Don’t leave on my account.”

  She swallowed once and seemed to be very deliberately concentrating on looking him in the eyes and nowhere else. Like his chest, for instance. “That’s okay. I’m good. Take your time.”

  In the short span of their marriage they hadn’t spent many mornings together. Maybe that’s why the memories were so vivid, because there’d been no time to become complacent, take each other for granted. Linc would never forget her fascination with him shaving. She’d explained about being an only child raised by a single mom. It was an all-female environment. But that innocent remark had filled him with so many profound feelings. Her inexperience and growing up without a father to teach her about the world and keep her safe. At that moment he’d promised himself that he would always protect her.

  Everything he’d done after that was to honor that vow.

  “I’m just going to shave, then it’s all yours.” He soaped up his cheeks and jaw, then picked up his razor and started the process that had always seemed a little less tedious after Rose.

  “Interesting.” She was still standing there. Watching.

  “What is?”

  “You go for the clean-shaven look when the current style for men is scruff.”

  “I guess I’m a traditional guy.” Who was having a hard time not slitting his throat or cutting off an ear with the sharp instrument in his hand. The sight of her holding that ridiculous towel to hide what he’d already seen was too adorable. And distracting. But he’d rather lose an ear than send her away. If it was good enough for van Gogh...

  “But you’re a traditional guy who has no intention of settling down. That implies you need an infinite supply of female companionship.”

  He waited for more but she didn’t say anything. It seemed she wasn’t fully awake yet and he wanted a finer point on the female companionship thing. “What does that mean?”

  “Women like a man with scruff. You need women. Therefore you should cultivate the scruff to attract them.”

  “Like bees?”

  “To honey. Yes.”

  “And if I told you that the traditional look has been working just fine?” Would she be jealous?

  She lifted one smooth, delicate shoulder in a shrug. “I’d say your women are uninspired.”

  Suddenly he was much less interested in women in general than this one in particular. For just a moment he stopped shaving and met her gaze. “What inspires you?”

  The pulse in her neck fluttered faster as she studied him. But when she answered, her voice was cool and even. “There’s a lot to be said for a man with a smooth face...”

  “But?”

  “What?” she asked.

  “You stopped. There was going to be more. There’s something about a smooth face and I heard a ‘but’ in your voice. You were going to add...”

  “It’s not important.”

  “To me it is.” He waited.

  “Why?”

  “That one little word could be a good or bad thing.”

  “Oh?”

  “Think about it. A single-syllable word that leaves a clear path for a leap into a very bad place.” He met her gaze while he thought about that. “Consider this. A smooth face is attractive on you but those features could stop a clock so maybe you should grow a beard.”

  She laughed. “I didn’t mean that.”

  “Then what? You like smooth but if there was scruff on mine you’d be tempted to forgive and forget that I’m the jackass who left you?”

  Her teasing smile slowly disappeared. “Look, Linc, I can’t walk in your shoes. There’s no way for me to understand what it feels like to find out what you did. No way that I can possibly get what you went through. Are still going through. And I won’t patronize you by saying that I do. All I can tell you is that I believe you, that you had a reason for what you did.” She shrugged as if to say sorry about this. “And that’s the best I can do right now.”

  “Fair enough.” He hadn’t planned to ask forgiveness but didn’t regret that he had. Her response was both less than he wanted and more than he deserved. For some stupid reason, and he did mean stupid, that gave him hope. For what, he didn’t know. All he was sure of at this moment was how very much he wanted to kiss her and what a very bad idea it was.

  “Let me know when you’re finished in here.” She started to turn away.

  “Wait.” He took the hand towel that was hanging beside the second sink and wiped all traces of soap from his face. “I need to talk to you in case I’m gone when you come down for breakfast.”

  “You’re leaving early?”

  “Alex and I have business to take care of. He wants me to see some property for development and look at office space for our company.”

  “When will you be back?”

  “Not sure. I might be gone most of the day.”

  She nodded. “I’ve got work to do. Now that I’ve seen your place, I’ll need to make sketches of each room and get some ideas put together for you. I do some on computer and others on paper.”

  “This house has more rooms than the entire von Trapp family could use. I’m sure Ellie can find space for you to work.”

  “Yeah. She already mentioned that to me and is going to help me set up somewhere.”

  “Good.” That was his sister. Efficient and gracious. “And while I’m gone, don’t say anything to her about our little secret.”

  There was a wicked look in her eyes. “I make no promises.”

  “You really are enjoying holding this over my head, aren’t you?”

  “So very, very much.” She grinned.

  They stared at each other for several moments and neither of them moved. But her smile faded and there was what looked like wistfulness in her eyes. Was it his imagination or wishful thinking that she was as reluctant and unwilling to lose this moment as he was?

  So many thoughts flashed through his mind in those seconds. He’d never stopped wanting this woman and his need to kiss her right now bordered on desperate. She didn’t hate him anymore, but did it matter since she was in a relationship that could be moving to the next level?

  Except how did you take the next step after not telling your significant other you weren’t free from a marriage he never knew about and were going to another state to work for your husband?

  Linc had never been more painfully aware that she was his wife than right at this moment. But kissing her the way he wanted could destroy this fragile truce and any gains on having his sins forgiven. As much as he despised the thought of her with another man, sabotaging his opportunity to make things up to her wasn’t something he was prepared to do.

  “Okay, then,” he said. “The bathroom is all yours.”

  * * *

  Rose couldn’t get the image of Linc shaving out of her mind. She was still thinking about it after shower
ing, doing hair, makeup and walking downstairs. Was there anything sexier than a half-naked man dragging a straight-edge razor over his face? The bunch of muscles in his arm and the way his mouth twisted for the hard-to-get places. She hadn’t been able to look away, which was something that hadn’t changed in ten years.

  Neither had her inability to function very well before coffee. She’d been like a sleepwalker, charging into the room and being only dimly aware of where she was and who she was charging in on. If he’d done that to her...

  Well, she’d have to call it a lesson in tolerance and humility. Forgive and forget? Not if she was smart. Remembering and resentment were just about all that stood between her and being made a fool of again.

  Ellie was the only one in the kitchen... Scratch that—the only adult. Leah toddled out from behind the island and grinned at her.

  “Good morning.” Rose smiled at the little girl. “Hey there, cutie.”

  “Did you sleep well?” Ellie asked.

  “So good.”

  Ellie poured coffee into a mug, put in milk and a low-calorie sweetener and set it in front of her. “Linc told me how you take your coffee and said you really needed this.”

  “Thanks.” Heat crept into her cheeks at the reminder of seeing him with just a towel knotted at his waist. She was still a little weak in the knees. “He said he and Alex had to leave early.”

  “Yeah. You just missed them.” Ellie rested her elbows on the island between them, her gaze sharp and questioning. But all she said was “What would you like for breakfast?”

  “Coffee is fine. Don’t bother on my account.”

  “It’s no trouble. And it’s not all about you,” the other woman teased. “The guys decided to grab something out so I waited to have a ‘girls only’ breakfast.”

  “That sounds wonderful. How can I help?”

  “Set the table and keep an eye on Leah?” she asked.

  “I can do that.”

  A short time later the little girl was in her high chair and the two women were eating scrambled eggs, toast and fruit.

  Rose took a bite. “Mmm. These eggs are so light and fluffy. You’ll have to tell me how to get them like this.”

  “Having someone watch my daughter so I don’t burn them is the secret.”

  Rose took a bite of toast and sighed. “Why does everything taste so much better in the mountains?”

  “No clue, but it’s so true.” The other woman cut fruit into tiny pieces and put them on the tray for her daughter. The little girl used her small fork to spear one, then maneuvered the food into her mouth. “Good job, baby girl.”

  As she ate Rose watched mother and child, envious of everything about them. If things had been different she and Linc might have kids now. Regret twisted inside her until she noticed Ellie watching her. The look wasn’t quite suspicious, mostly speculation.

  “I need to start working on designs for Linc’s place. You said there’s somewhere I can do that?”

  “Yes. An office down the hall off the family room. Alex and I both use it but there’s plenty of room and neither of us is in there during the day. After breakfast I’ll get you settled.”

  “Thank you so much.” She sincerely meant that.

  Ellie put some eggs on her daughter’s tray. “So, how long ago did you and Linc meet?”

  “Oh...” She hesitated, trying to figure out what to say, then decided to stick to the truth. “Ten years, I think.”

  “That’s a long time. I don’t remember him ever mentioning you.”

  “He sure talked about you.” Rose had always liked how much he cared about his sister. It spoke to the good man that he was and she hoped the pivot would take the focus off her and Linc. “He had a problem with your boyfriend at the time.”

  “He had a problem with every boyfriend I ever had. Including Alex, the love of my life. And now they’re going to be business partners.” Ellie’s smile faded. “We talked about everything. Family. Friends. Linc never said anything about you, though. It just makes me wonder...”

  Oh, boy. His sister didn’t plan to let this go. “I suppose I should be hurt that I was so insignificant.”

  “That’s the thing. I don’t think you are.”

  Rose finished the last bite of food, then set her fork on the empty plate. “Why do you say that?”

  “He knows how you take your coffee and was very specific with the details. Bordering on protective. That doesn’t happen if a man is indifferent.”

  “When he told you he was bringing a decorator here, what did he say?”

  “Not much,” Ellie admitted. “And I didn’t ask because I was so happy about him moving here.”

  “I know you’re close.” Rose got up and filled her mug with more coffee. She needed to think about what to say. “But why are you so excited about him moving here? Is it about missing family?”

  “Some. But it’s more than that. Linc went through a hard time finding out he had a different father.” Her eyes widened, as if something just occurred to her. “That was ten years ago, in fact, right around the time you met him. So I’m sure he talked to you about it.”

  Not then, Rose thought. Still, she didn’t want to add too many details. “He left and I missed him.”

  “My brother is so darn stubborn,” Ellie said. “He won’t speak to our parents about it and refuses to get to know his biological father. He cut the guy out of his life but doesn’t get how that gives the man power over it.”

  Rose’s eyes widened. “I never thought about it that way. If he’d only said something when he left—”

  “Wait. Said something? If only... What?”

  “Hmm?” Crap and double crap, Rose thought.

  “Linc left you?”

  “Did I just say that out loud?”

  “Yes.” Ellie was staring at her. “Look, something is up between you and my brother. I could see it from the first. And a little while ago when I told you he said you needed coffee, you were blushing.”

  “I was?”

  “Trust me. The red was so bright it could be seen from space.”

  Rose blew out a long breath. “I guess my game face needs some work.”

  “If you’re planning to hurt my brother, you’ll have to go through me—”

  “It’s not like that, Ellie. He’s the one who hurt me.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  If ever a situation needed context, this one did. She’d teased Linc about holding the secret over his head, but Rose didn’t see any other way out of this now. Maybe it was rationalizing, but shouldn’t his sister know? The other woman got up and started to clear the table.

  “You might want to sit down for this. It might come as a shock.”

  “What?” Ellie sat. “You’re a man?”

  “Wow, if that’s where you went, I might need to change my brand of makeup.” She was trying to lighten the mood but it wasn’t happening. Quick was better. The way Linc had told her. “I’m just going to say this. Linc and I were married ten years ago.”

  “What?”

  “We did meet at work. It was love at first sight—for me, at least. We went to Vegas and got married. It lasted fifteen minutes and he told me we were getting a divorce. That it was him, not me.”

  “Oh, God—” Ellie put a hand over her mouth and stared before adding, “He found out about his father.”

  “Yes, although he didn’t tell me that then. Just that I was better off without him.”

  Ellie got up and filled a sippy cup with milk, then handed it to her daughter. The woman moved as if she was on automatic pilot and her mind was racing as she connected the dots. “You must have been—”

  “Devastated. Hurt. After a while anger set in and got me through. Now?” She shrugged.

  The other
woman sat down across from her again. “You said he didn’t tell you then. When did he tell you?”

  “Just recently. He probably never would have except he found out that we’re not divorced.”

  “What?” The pitch of her voice went up and got her daughter’s attention. Leah started to cry so Ellie freed her from the chair and cuddled her close. “Mama’s sorry, baby girl. But Uncle Linc is... I can’t even think of a name bad enough to call him. How could you not be divorced?”

  Rose explained everything and that he was handling it now. “In all fairness, he had a shock at the time he promised to take care of everything. Maybe you should cut him some slack.”

  “Slack?” Ellie snapped her fingers. “Slacker, maybe. There’s a name and that’s what he is. He’s the one I’m going to hurt.”

  “Ellie, it’s all right—”

  “No, it’s not. All this time you believed you were divorced, then he drops by out of the blue and says you’re not? ‘Oh, and by the way, will you decorate my condo?’”

  “There was a little more in between.” Although not all that much. “Basically that’s what happened.”

  “Why didn’t you slam the door in his face? I would have. I might now.”

  “Please don’t. I really need this job.” There was no point in trying to hide the truth so she explained that her business was in trouble. “Linc offered me this opportunity as a way to save it.”

  “A high-profile job.” Ellie nodded as if pieces had just fallen into place. “So that’s what he meant.”

  “About?” Rose prompted.

  “Before he and Alex left today Linc said to tell you that he was going to talk to Burke and Sloan Holden about decorating the lobby of their new hotel.”

  “He did?”

  “Yes. It was very specific, too. That you needed to know he was making good on his promise.”

  Oh, dear God. That made her feel awful and somehow it gave him an advantage. Because he was keeping his word and Rose had just spilled her guts.

  Chapter Six

  “Linc, please get here soon.” Rose had prayed, willing him to walk in the door so she could talk to him before his sister did.