Just a Little Bit Married

by Teresa Southwick

  “I love the ornate streetlights and the lovely benches along the path. Let’s walk over there.”

  Without a word, Linc lifted her hand and settled it into the bend of his elbow, then escorted her across the street to the walkway as if he was accompanying her into an elegant ballroom. Just a short while ago he’d told her he was raised with manners and she’d just met the people responsible for raising him that way.

  She wasn’t a betrayal virgin but decided not to point out that he was the man who’d initiated her. Part of her understood why he’d left and wanted to hug him and make the bitterness go away. Or be angry at them in solidarity with him. But he’d been running for ten years and it was time to face this head-on.

  “Don’t you think it’s a beautiful night?” she asked.

  “It was until they showed up.”

  “They love you, Linc.”

  “They have a funny way of showing it.”

  “Not really.” She knew he was going to push back on this. “Nothing says love more than coming all this way to support their son.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Let me stop you right there. Tonight at the café you pulled out my chair and impressed the heck out of Maggie and Lucy. You told me you were raised with manners. Those were your words. You were brought up to be a gentleman—a good man. The woman and man in your sister’s kitchen did that and you should thank them.”

  “For lying to me the whole time?” He sounded incredulous.

  “You never knew. They treated all four of their children the same or you would have felt different and known something was up. You are the good and productive man you are because of the decision they made. Would you be what you are today if they’d told you from the time you could understand that you had a different father? Or maybe when you were a teenager?” She made a face. “That would have been ugly.”

  “They were just protecting themselves,” he growled.

  “No. They were protecting you.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said.

  “It does. They always had your best interests at heart because they love you.” She put her other hand on his arm, holding tight. “I never had one father. You’re lucky enough to have two.”

  “No—”

  “You do. One who raised you and one biological. Just because you’re a stubborn ass and refuse to talk to either one doesn’t make it not true.”

  He looked down at her for several long moments and his frown eased a fraction as he settled his big hand over both of hers. “You’re brutally honest.”

  “I try.” She smiled. “And here’s a thought. Forgive them, Linc.”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because they’re human and everyone makes mistakes. But don’t do it for them. Do it for you. Forgiveness is the only way to move on and find peace.”

  The moonlight revealed a glint in his eyes. “Are you willing to practice what you preach and forgive me? I’m human.”

  “No way,” she teased.

  “Way.” He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I made a big mistake when I left you and I regret it very much. Can you ever forgive me for it?”

  “Yes. I already have. You were an idiot.”

  “Don’t sugarcoat it. Tell me how you really feel,” he said wryly.

  “Brutally honest, remember? The mistake you made was in not talking to me about it. Now I can see a little of what you went through, so forgiveness isn’t that hard. Don’t you think your mother and father—he is your father,” she said when he started to protest. “Don’t make another mistake and walk away again without talking things over. Don’t be an idiot.”

  The corners of his mouth turned up just a little. “Something tells me if I head in that direction you’re going to have a little to say about it.”

  “Like I said, you’re an honorable man. You’ll do the right thing.”

  In some ways that was a bigger problem for her. She believed he was a good man and his betrayal had been an isolated incident, a decision made during a deeply personal and chaotic time in his life. She trusted him and now there was nothing standing in the way of her falling for him. That was bad because she believed he hadn’t lied to her when he said that he would never marry again.

  That meant falling for him was in direct conflict with having the traditional family she’d always dreamed of.

  * * *

  Linc couldn’t sleep.

  His mother and Hastings were occupying the downstairs guest room. As if that didn’t ratchet up his tension enough, Rose was just a few steps away and he wanted her so badly it felt as if his head was going to explode.

  The thought of having his hands on her, being able to kiss every square inch of her bare skin, was driving him crazy. When he managed to doze off, dreams of her yanked him out of it. But he wasn’t just drawn to her curvy body. If she hadn’t been with him earlier, first to keep him from saying something he’d regret, then talking him off the ledge, it would have been a lot uglier.

  The best way to say thanks for the support was to leave her alone. She wanted marriage and family, but he wasn’t the guy who could give that to her.

  “Damn it.” He threw off the sheet and got up.

  There was a really good single malt Scotch in the house and he knew where Alex kept it. Very quietly he tiptoed downstairs in his sweatpants and T-shirt. Light from the full moon trickled in through the high family room windows as he made his way to the kitchen.

  He turned on the light over the stove so he could see and still not disturb anyone else in the house. As soundlessly as possible he retrieved the bottle from the “useless for much of anything but liquor” cupboard above the refrigerator but had no idea where to find an appropriate glass. He grabbed a coffee mug and splashed some Scotch into it, then started to put the cap back on the bottle.

  “Leave it out.” The familiar female voice came from behind him.

  He turned to face her. There were shadows in the far corners of the room but he saw Katherine Hart on the other side of the island. “Mom.”

  “I’m glad you’re up. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to reach that bottle. Would you pour me a glass?”

  “Are you sure? It’s the middle of the night.”

  “I can’t sleep,” she said. “It helps.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.” He got out another mug and poured her what looked like an appropriate amount, then came around the island and handed it to her.

  Side by side they sat on the high bar chairs at the island and stared into the dim kitchen while sipping the liquor.

  Katherine finished first and wrapped her hands around the mug. “So, you and Rose are married?”

  “Ellie told you all this.”

  “I’d like to hear it from you.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “I don’t know.” She stared into the empty cup, sad and deflated somehow. Very unlike the formidable woman she was. “I guess I’ve just missed talking to you. About books, movies, what’s going on in the world. In your world.”

  If he was being honest, he would admit to feeling that void, too. “You have three other kids for that.”

  “I love all of my children.” She glanced at him for a moment. “A mother isn’t supposed to have favorites and I celebrate all the qualities that make each of you different and wonderful. But I will admit that you have a special place in my heart, Linc.”

  “Why?” He figured this was her kissing up to make amends for lying to him.

  “You brought Hastings and me back together.” She met his gaze directly, unashamed.

  That surprised him. “I don’t believe you. Your marriage was in shambles. Finding out you were pregnant must have made things worse.”

  “It was hard,” she admitted. “But the way your father—and don’
t you dare say he’s not—stepped up made me realize how much I love him. He took responsibility for neglecting me and his children, then promised nothing would take priority over family again. He could have told me he loves me from here to the moon but that would just have been words. He was there for me during the pregnancy and your birth. He held you, embraced you as his son and never in any way treated you differently from your brothers and sister.” Her eyes were fierce with protectiveness for her husband. “He showed me then how much he loved me. Because of you. We both love you in a special way for bringing out the best in us, bringing us closer than we’d ever been.”

  Linc didn’t know how to respond to that. So he said, “Ten years ago Rose and I fell madly in love. We wanted to be married and couldn’t wait. So we went to Las Vegas.”

  “Why didn’t you say something to us?”

  “I didn’t want you to judge, I guess. Be disappointed.”

  “What makes you think I would have been?” she asked.

  “Rose was very young.”

  “So were you.”

  He shrugged. “And we just wanted to keep it between us for a little while.”

  “Then your biological father paid you a visit and the world as you knew it changed,” she said. “And you ended the marriage.”

  “I thought so.” He sipped some Scotch and wasn’t sure if that was the only reason for the fire in his belly. Somehow telling all this to his mother brought everything back as if it happened yesterday. That feeling of being ripped in half when he faced Rose knowing he was a fraud. “I don’t know who I am.”

  “You’re my son.” It was the mom voice, the one that did not allow for argument.

  “That only gives me half the answers. I’m not a legitimate Hart.”

  “Have you seen your biological father?”

  “Just that one time,” he said.

  Shadows highlighted the absolute and utter regret on her gently lined face. “It was wrong of me to lie to you, son. I won’t offer excuses, but you can believe the decision was made with your best interests being the only priority.”

  He thought about Rose’s comment that there was no good time to tell him. But he wasn’t quite ready to relinquish the resentment that had supported him all this time. “You could have shared custody with him.”

  “That was an option,” she agreed. “But there were two things that stopped me. Number one, visitations with him would have set you apart from your siblings and made you feel separate from the family.”

  He could see how that might happen. Not being a part of the Hart domestic unit had never crossed his mind growing up. He’d been secure and happy, had an idyllic childhood. And it wouldn’t have been. But still... “And what was the second thing?”

  “Your biological father’s career. To claim a child that was conceived not only out of wedlock, but with a woman separated from her husband and a client, as well, could have destroyed his reputation. He was willing and relieved to bow out of the picture.”

  “So you thought I would never find out unless I needed a kidney and none of the Harts were a match?”

  “Yes. Then he changed the rules.” The bitterness in her voice rivaled his own.

  It crossed his mind that was possibly a trait he’d inherited from her. “Why did he tell me?”

  “You’ll have to ask him that question.”

  The familiar anger swelled inside him. “And what if I don’t want to see him?”

  “That’s your choice, of course, but there are things only he can tell you,” Katherine said gently. “He can fill in the blanks. I know I’ve lost your trust and along with it the right to offer advice. So I’ll just say this. You’re caught between two worlds and that’s holding you back.” Hesitantly she put her hand on his arm.

  It didn’t escape his notice that he was no longer prepared and guarded, ready to withdraw from her touch. “I’m fine.”

  “You’ll hate me for saying this, but I’m your mother and you’re the opposite of fine.” Apparently the maternal contact made her bolder. More like the mother lion he remembered she’d always been. “Since you left Rose, there’s been no one you cared about.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “If you’d wanted to get married again, you would have known there was no divorce from her.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “I want you to be happy and you’re not,” she said. “I don’t know what’s holding you back but I have a suggestion where to start looking. Talk to your biological father. You don’t need anyone’s permission, especially mine, so take this advice for what it’s worth. Don’t think about sparing me or being disloyal to your family. Do it for yourself. And keep in mind that there’s room for everyone in your life.”

  “That’s what Rose said,” he murmured. Actually she’d told him that she never knew her father and he was lucky to have two who cared about him.

  For the first time his mother smiled. “Obviously she and I agree on something, so I have to say she’s a bright girl. You were a little bit of an idiot to walk away from her.”

  “That seems to be the majority opinion. In my defense, it has to be said that hindsight is twenty-twenty.” But he’d left her because he loved her so damn much. His concern had been for her, sparing her the long, slow painful death of love because he was an imposter. Never mind that he hadn’t known. “I did what I felt was right.”

  “I know. But—”

  “What?” he asked.

  “Never mind.” Katherine slid off the bar chair. “Probably I shouldn’t stick my nose into your business.”

  “Why stop now?” The corners of his mouth turned up.

  “Don’t be fresh,” she teased.

  “Seriously,” he said. “I’d really like to know what you were going to say.”

  “Okay.” She sighed. “Granted I didn’t see you and Rose together for very long this evening, but I got the impression that she was protective of you. Call me silly, but there was a spark. Maybe I’m just a romantic.”

  Maybe a romantic streak was something else he’d inherited from his mother. On the way home from dinner Rose had accused him of having one. It sure hadn’t felt that way for the last ten years. But since seeing her again...

  “It’s really late,” Katherine said after glancing at the digital time display on the microwave. “Oh, I almost forgot, what with all the commotion earlier. Ellie signed for a certified packet that came for you and Rose. It’s on the desk in the office. I wasn’t prying but the return address indicates it’s from a law firm.”

  The divorce papers had arrived. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “You’re welcome. I need to get some sleep and so do you.”

  Easy for her to say, he thought. She would climb into bed next to her husband. But he...

  Had a woman upstairs who wouldn’t be his wife for very much longer. And he still wanted her as badly as he had ten years ago. He’d promised himself that she was going to trust him before this was all over. And the divorce papers in the study were here to end it. That should have made him feel better.

  It didn’t.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rose looked at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. It was the middle of the night and she hadn’t slept much. And she wasn’t the only one. A sliver of light coming from around the bathroom door indicated Linc was awake, too. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was restless because of the earlier scene in the kitchen with his parents. That was a side of him he’d never showed her and she couldn’t get it off her mind.

  When they were together, he was always confident and a little cocky. Ten years ago his proposal had given her pause because she wondered whether or not she would be his equal in the relationship. She’d needed him desperately but wasn’t sure he needed her. Then they got married
and shortly afterward he’d left and her question was answered.

  Or so she’d thought.

  Now she knew he was going through a family crisis and chose to deal with it on his own. Earlier she’d walked him away from the ugly scene, then talked him through the resulting feelings. She was glad to do it but the emotion was bittersweet. If only he hadn’t underestimated her when they were together, she could have helped him then and how different their lives would have been. They’d missed out on so much.

  If only he hadn’t shut her out. If only spending time with him hadn’t rekindled her attraction. If only he hadn’t sworn off commitment.

  If only Linc would turn out the bathroom light. She looked at the clock again and frowned. For a man who set speed records for being camera-ready, he’d been in there a long time. Maybe he wasn’t as okay after their talk as he’d led her to believe.

  After a brief argument with herself, she decided to check on him. If she was wrong, it wouldn’t be the first time there’d been bathroom awkwardness.

  She threw back the covers and grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed, then slipped her arms into it. Barefoot, she walked to the door that was just barely open.

  Knocking softly she said, “Linc?”

  “I’m finished. It’s all yours.”

  Something in his voice set off warning signals that he was troubled. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you naked?”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m coming in. Ready or not.” She put her palm to the door and pushed it open wide. He was standing by the sink naked—except for the towel knotted at his waist.

  “I’m sorry I woke you.” He glanced at her and his mouth tightened before he looked away.

  “Don’t be sorry. I was already awake.” She shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “Seems to be a lot of that going around at casa McKnight.”

  His face was drawn, tired and tense. And completely vulnerable and sexy. An intoxicating combination. A light dusting of hair covered his broad chest and her palms tingled with the need to touch him. His hair was wet and he brushed it back from his forehead with both hands. The movement had the muscles in his arms rippling in a way that made her heart race.