Rising slowly from the floor, he dropped the phone in its receiver and stripped out of his sweat-drenched t-shirt. Toru made his way to the shower and let the cold water splash all over his body. His heart and mind were already made up.
Nothing could ever separate him from Hideki.
* * * * *
Hideki was still smiling from his phone session with Toru after he took a shower and had a light breakfast. He sat on the sofa and finished his coffee, his gaze falling on the plastic bin of letters and packages. He’d forgotten to ask if they’d been sent over by Nippon. He supposed they had, though he was surprised Kutani hadn’t had them thrown away. But knowing him, he would send fan mail to let Hideki know what he was “giving up.”
He slid off the couch and sat cross-legged in front of the coffee table. Strange ... the first package Hideki picked up didn’t have any stamps or notes from the post that it was a forwarded piece of mail. In fact, the address on the front belonged to this apartment building.
So did the one on the next parcel, and the next ...
“Shit.” Hideki let out a frustrated puff of air. Where had these packages come from? Most were missing return addresses, or they’d been smudged in the handling process too badly to read.
Although ... SundayEveryday regularly received packages like this from fans, usually containing gifts or sweet tokens of appreciation for the band’s hard work. Hideki’s heart gave a hopeful little leap.
Maybe Nippon was wrong all along -- Hideki’s fans didn’t care who he had for a lover. These were gifts and probably much sorely needed words of encouragement.
Hideki took up the first package he’d looked at and dropped it into his lap. The parcel was about as large as a shoe box, but not very heavy at all -- maybe half a kilo. He ripped at the brown wrapping, revealing an opaque plastic container that had been painted red. Peeling away the tape that held the lid shut, he looked inside.
“Fuck!” He shoved the box off his lap and cursed again as the contents began to fall out. Inside the package were used sanitary napkins and tampons. He swallowed hard, his breakfast ready to come up. He went to the kitchen and retrieved two trash bags. One he put over his hand to shove the disgusting mess back into the plastic container and the other to hold all the packages addressed to him.
He thought the couple to Toru might be more of the same, but he didn’t feel right about throwing away Toru’s mail without his consent. And he certainly wasn’t going to wake him up over shit like this. Hideki threw on a pair of jeans and sneakers, placed the bag with Toru’s things in the small cupboard in the kitchen, then carted the other bag to the trash. He took another shower when he came back upstairs, then got dressed and waited for Sasao to pick him up for the audition.
He passed through the living room and glanced at the coffee table. Still too weirded out, Hideki retreated back into the bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. Sometime between then and when Sasao started knocking at the door, he dozed off. He had a messed up dream about running through the apartment building, desperate to find Toru, and tripping over packages wrapped in brown paper that started to bleed when he hit them.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he croaked out. His stomach still feeling a little queasy after that bizarre dream, Hideki stumbled through the apartment and opened the door for Sasao.
“Do not tell me you were just sleeping, Hide-kun!” she wailed.
He rubbed his eyes and nodded. “I just drifted off.”
“Now your eyes are puffy.” She clicked her tongue and patted his cheeks. “Wake up, you! We’re going to be late.”
Hideki pulled away and went to sit on the sofa. “I don’t think I want to go. It’s useless.”
“What?”
He told her about the disgusting package and was surprised she was more angry than sickened by it. “Teenaged girls are such total bitches. You wouldn’t believe the grief I got when I did that ‘happily married’ housewares ad campaign with Jin Akanishi.” She grabbed Hideki’s hands and pulled him to his feet. “Put on an unwrinkled shirt. Comb your hair, grab your suit jacket, and let’s get going!”
“I have no say in the matter, do I?”
“Not unless you want me to call To-chan and pay him to withhold some of that bad boy, rock star sexing when he gets back.”
Hideki felt his cheeks heat, but he laughed. “You win. I’ll go.”
“Uh-huh.” She gave him a smug look. “I thought that would get you moving.” Sasao shooed him off to the bedroom. “Go, go!”
Hideki chuckled, already feeling in much better spirits. Miyamoto-san’s personality helped him to shake off some of the weirdness, if not all. He changed into a fresh shirt and ran his fingers through his hair before joining her back in the living room.
“Much better!” Sasao gave him a thumbs-up and pulled him toward the door.
Her cab was waiting for them outside, along with about a dozen more photographers. “Damn it,” Hideki cursed.
“Oh, don’t let them bother you.” Sasao glared at them. “That’s just what they want -- acting indignant fuels their scandal-crazed minds.” As they dashed out to the cab, she grinned and waved at them like this was just another typical, exciting day.
“Jerks,” she muttered once they were inside. “Let them make a story out of that.” The cab driver sped off towards the studio, and Hideki’s nerves started to build up all over again.
Chapter Twenty
Hideki’s mood brightened considerably once the cab got underway to the audition studio. Sasao began chattering away about growing up as the best friend of Toru’s cousin and watching his climb to fame as a most interested -- and amused -- bystander.
“You have never seen anything more hilarious than a visual kei band in all their costumed glory descending on a club manager like a pack of rabid wolves because when they played, she always stocked the dressing room with homemade treats for them. They were all positively addicted to these rice cereal and marshmallow squares she made. I suppose I couldn’t blame them because they were quite good, but it was funny to see the likes of Miji Makana prissily licking marshmallow from his manicured fingertips. Toru was heartbroken when she finished her degree at the university and went back to America to live.”
They were still laughing when they reached the studio, and Hideki thought that perhaps his nervousness had totally gone until he met the drama’s director. This was it, his chance to put the Nippon fiasco behind him quickly and forever. He didn’t mind being an actor. In fact, he rather liked it, and he’d always have his music. Even if it meant tiny club dates and performing for an audience of one, he could handle it with friends like Sasao and especially Toru behind him.
The nervousness verged on outright panic when Hideki was told that the scene would be done on tape and in costume on one of the sets. It was an emotional scene with his character and Sasao’s having a last passionate goodbye before the hero is sent off on a dangerous assignment for the police. Sasao’s costume consisted of nothing more than a short silky negligee and his own a loose pair of drawstring pants.
“Stop worrying, you’ll do fine,” Sasao teased. “Just pretend I’m Toru.” She glanced down below his waist. “Maybe not Toru. How about Ryoko?”
She winked, and the director yelled, “Action!”
The scene went flawlessly; at least Hideki hoped it did. He was nervous all over again as he went back to dress and take off the stage makeup. When he joined Sasao and the director, they were watching the camera monitor play back the scene. Sasao gave him a double thumbs-up sign and slid her arms around his waist when he came over to watch. They did have great onscreen chemistry.
“Hideki,” the director said. “The part is yours, if you want it.”
“Yes! Thank you. I’m honored.”
“What's wrong?” Sasao asked a short time later as they sat at a small upscale restaurant over lunch. “You don’t want the part.”
“No, I want it. And I can never thank you enough for helping me get it. It’s just
that ...” He took a long sip of wine. “Toru said that the American company releasing their CD wants the band to live there for a while to help build up their image and fan base.”
Sasao clapped. “That’s wonderful! They’ve wanted to break the world market for years ...” Her voice trailed off, and her smile faded away. She reached across the table and took Hideki’s hand. “You’ll be living our show -- two young lovers separated by circumstances they can’t control.”
Hideki nodded.
Sasao chewed on her lower lip. “I’m sorry about this, Hide-kun.” She squeezed his hand. “But this chance isn’t something you should turn down.”
“I know that,” Hideki said in a small voice. “I just ... I miss him so much already.”
“But you also know that Toru is going to be so happy for you, right?” Sasao pouted. “If you miss this chance because of him, he’ll never forgive himself.”
Hideki gave a nod and squeezed her hand back. “You’re right,” he said, forcing a smile, even if it was just a tiny one. “Plus, the last thing I want to be is ungrateful. Really, this means so much to me.”
Sasao clapped her hands together again and grinned. “And you’ll see -- he’ll be cheering louder than you and me together when he hears the news!”
* * * * *
Leaning back against the wall, Toru closed his eyes.
“Are you still there, Toru? Hello?” Sasao’s voice crackled over the cell phone he held at his side. “God, this long-distance plan sucks!”
Toru raised the phone to his ear again. “Yeah, I’m still here.”
“Yay!” the girl squealed over the end. “So he starts rehearsal this Friday! This Friday! Today the director wants him down in costume to start getting his wardrobe together and ... okay, Hide-kun! I know you want to talk to him!”
Some muffled sounds and static filled Toru’s ear as Sasao passed the phone over to Hideki.
“To-chan?”
Toru lightened his tone, tried to sound more excited. “Hide-kun, congratulations! This is great. They would’ve been fools not to give you the part.”
He ignored the voice inside his aching heart screaming for Hideki to forget the drama, to not leave him. “I knew you could do it,” Toru added. “I’m so happy for you, Hideki.”
“Call me later, okay? I love you, Toru!”
“I love you, too,” Toru whispered as the line went dead. He stood there, his eyes closed, his heart empty until Jun gave him a punch in the arm. “Rumiko’s here. Let’s go.”
After Rumiko greeted her husband and turned her baggage claim check over to him, she slipped her arm around Toru’s waist as they followed Jun to the baggage area. “Why don’t you bring him over?”
“I want to, but he just got a part. Jun probably told you. It’s a good part in a new drama.”
“But those things are only ten or eleven episodes. He’ll be done filming it in no time, so cheer up!”
She began prattling on about the craziness of closing up their Tokyo house and settling things here long distance. Toru nodded as if paying attention, then stepped away to take her bag when Jun found it. As soon as they made it to the condo, he went to the place he was sharing with Koji, instead of joining the others for the welcome party up at Jun’s.
Koji stepped out of the back bedroom as Toru kicked off his shoes in the doorway. The guitarist must have just finished a shower; Koji’s hair hung down the sides of his face in wet, red clumps.
“Hey, you guys are back.” Koji rubbed a towel on his head a few times and shook out a few more droplets of water. “How was Rumiko-san’s flight?”
“Good, I guess.” Toru stepped down into the living room. “Just ask her when you get upstairs.” He moved past the couch to get to the liquor cabinet set underneath a tall glass window opened to a view of the sprawling city below. The indie label had made arrangements for these upscale apartment rentals, and they’d made certain to stock each room with a decent amount of liquor. Here’s to American hospitality. Toru smiled dryly and twisted the cap off a bottle of Absolut.
“You’re not coming?” Koji draped the towel over the edge of the couch and frowned. “Why?”
“Don’t feel up to it.”
“You’re getting mopey again,” Koji whined. “Come on.”
“Not in the mood for a party.” Toru poured himself a drink and finished it off in a gulp.
Koji started to say something, but caught himself. He hissed through his teeth instead and Toru raised his eyebrows at him. “What?”
“Forget it.” Koji’s face turned a shade of red to match his hair. “You’re hardly a member of the band anymore, anyway.”
Toru banged his empty glass on the bar top. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Some of Koji’s attitude deflated. He’d never been one of the more confrontational members -- which helped balance out Imai’s temper issues, Toru admitted -- but Koji was upset. Hurt, maybe.
“Nothing, I mean it. Forget it.”
“No. I want to know.”
Koji shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and looked out the window instead of meeting Toru’s gaze. “You haven’t been into ChildsPrey for a while now. Jun, too, I guess, but now that Rumiko’s here that should help a lot. But you ... ever since Hideki came around ...”
“I’m in love with someone and that has you messed up?” Toru asked in disbelief.
“I’m just wondering if we need to start looking for a new bassist,” Koji whispered.
Toru poured himself another drink. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, okay?”
“Whatever,” Koji muttered before leaving.
Shaking his head, Toru set down the unfinished drink and went to take a shower.
Calling himself an idiot the entire time, he tried to lose himself in the mindless fantasy that Hideki was with him, that the soapy hands gliding over his body were his lover’s, but in the end, the orgasm wasn’t entirely fulfilling. In fact, it only served to make him want Hideki even more.
* * * * *
Hideki was at a loss to explain how such busy days seemed to drag so endlessly. He was working, yes. Rehearsing and filming and doing the publicity photos, and the time at the studio went quickly, but at home alone in Toru’s apartment, the hours dragged and he could barely sleep.
He hardly even bothered to wonder why the press backed off, though he supposed it was because Kutani and Nippon had been goading them into it at first. Once they saw he didn’t need them, they let it go.
He still hadn’t heard a word from his mother. Hideki wondered if he’d really hurt her so deeply that he never would either. As good as things were going at the studio, these worries were always in the back of his mind. Rolling over on to his side, Hideki faced Toru’s empty spot on the bed and stretched his hand across the smooth sheets. With the past few weeks being as crazy as they were, they’d hardly had a chance to talk. Toru was doing photo shoots with ChildsPrey and visiting recording studios, while Hideki had rehearsals sometimes eighteen hours a day. The more time that passed, the more he missed his lover -- Toru’s companionship, his encouraging words ... the sex ...
Hideki felt the blush burn his cheeks as he nuzzled Toru’s pillow.
Impulsively, he sat up and reached for the phone to call him. It was pretty late in the morning -- almost ten-thirty. In LA, it would be about nine at night -- Toru was awake for sure.
The phone rang twice, then a beeping signal came over the end meaning the call had been disconnected. He tried dialing Toru’s cell again, but this time got a busy signal. Hideki decided to try the condo, in case Toru was home, and the line picked up.
He grinned into the phone. “To-chan!”
“No. It's Koji.”
“Ah, Koji-san.” Hideki swallowed his disappointment. “Hi! Do you know when Toru --?”
“He won’t be available until much later.” Koji sighed.
“Oh.” Hideki felt a lump brought on by sheer loneliness swell up in his throat. “Well, I tried calling
his cell, and it wasn’t working.”
“I don’t know,” Koji repeated. “I’ll tell him you called, Hideki-san.”
Koji hung up the phone. He turned at the miserable groan from Toru’s bedroom. He poked his head in the door. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call for a doctor?”
“No, I’ll be all right. Just make sure I don’t try to eat that spicy Mexican food again. In fact, don’t ever say the word nopalitos around me again.” He gagged and lurched to his feet. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned before running to the bathroom.
The doorbell rang. “Imai is here. I gotta go,” Koji called out as he opened the door. “Jun and Rumiko are home if you need anything.”
“Who the hell told him to mix that shit with Tequila anyway?” Imai peered around Koji and snorted.
“He’ll be fine -- it’s not food poisoning.” Koji partially shut the bedroom door behind them.
“Fuck you both,” Toru groaned halfheartedly and slumped to the floor next to the toilet.
Imai smirked as they left the condo. “I think he needs to get fucked. Maybe he’ll stop being so bitchy. It worked for Jun.”
Koji laughed and hit the elevator button. It opened at once. “Oh, shit. Hold the door, Imai, I forgot to tell him the kid called.”
Imai shoved Koji into the elevator. “Screw it. He’s too sick. Besides, if the kid starts blubbering, then he’ll get all mopey again. Yesterday morning’s practice was the best we’ve had since we got here; I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Uh, I guess ...” Koji hesitated and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I’m telling you, fucking drop it,” Imai grumbled and leaned back against the elevator wall. “We’ve got a job to do here in LA, and we need Toru to stay focused on the band, not Hideki’s ass.”
Koji rubbed the back of his neck. “I know, I know.”
Orange Moon Page 17