Internet Famous

by Danika Stone

  “You started without me!” Sarah cried. “I’m not ready!”

  “Sorry,” Madi said, not looking up from the screen. “The other MadLibbers were waiting.” Her mind was still on Laurent and the terrible coffee they’d shared at the Millburn station. He’d be home by now, probably finishing dinner. She wished she were there, too. Her disappointment was a tangible thing.

  “I told you I wanted to see this one,” Sarah grumbled, taking her place on the couch. “I love Back to the Future.”

  “Then why does it matter if you miss the credits?” Madi asked. “You already know what happens.”

  “Yeah, but I want to see it.”

  Sarah leaned closer, but Madi nudged her away. She hadn’t forgotten her sister’s meltdown the other night. “I need room,” Madi said.

  “All right. I’ll move.” Sarah slid half a couch cushion sideways, her frown deepening. “You don’t have to take it out on me, you know. I’m not the reason you’re in trouble.”

  Madi made a choking noise. “I’m not in trouble. Dad and I talked things out.” She had just opened her mouth to explain that the problem was she wanted to be in New York with Laurent, not stuck at home, when Sarah spoke again.

  “The school left a message on the answering machine. Dad’s worried about you, Madi. He asked me about it twice while you were out.”

  Madi rolled her eyes. “That’ll be about grad.”

  “Oh?”

  “Don’t worry. I have no intention of going.”

  She expected her sister to argue with her. (Sarah never seemed able to let things go.) But tonight the movie already had her in its thrall. For nearly half an hour, they watched in silence. Madi glared at the screen as Einstein the dog was strapped into Doc Brown’s vehicle for its first test run.

  “I like this part,” Sarah said under her breath. “This is where he goes back into the past.”

  “I know. It’s, like, the whole point of the movie.” Madi crossed her arms, annoyed at how petulant she sounded.

  “Marty’s gonna take the DeLorean. He’s gonna go back.”

  Madi’s phone buzzed with a text and she jumped to answer it. When she checked the screen, it was only her father telling her that his interview in the city had run late, but that he’d be home as soon as he could. She slumped lower on the couch. She hated being trapped in Millburn. Hated her mother for being gone. Hated her father for being so busy. Her gaze flitted over to her sister, and her chest was filled with remorse. She didn’t actually hate Sarah, because Sarah had no idea she was part of this mess. She was caught up as much as Madi was.

  “Sorry for being a bitch before,” Madi said.

  “Shh … Marty’s got to save the doctor. I don’t want to miss this.”

  “Me, neither.”

  Madi slid until she was next to her sister, and, like always, Sarah leaned in, her head resting on her shoulder. Sarah’s expression was rapt, a line of concentration between her brows. Madi wished she could lose herself in movies as easily as Sarah could. Because if life owed anyone a do-over, it was her.

  A do-over where Laurent and I live in the same city.

  “Sarah,” Madi said after a time. “Do you think it’s possible to fall for someone you hang out with online?”

  Sarah’s eyes flickered, almost too fast to see. “Like someone you’ve never actually met?”

  “No. Someone you’ve met, just someone you don’t hang out with very much. Someone who lives in another town.”

  Sarah shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, you wouldn’t get to—you couldn’t—” She cleared her throat. “Do a lot of stuff together.”

  “Stuff like what?”

  “Like … touch or things. You’d only be able to talk and text and stuff.” Madi’s cheeks began to burn. “I mean—except for once in a while, when you could find a way to be together.”

  “So nothing lovey-dovey most of the time?”

  Madi’s expression faltered. “Yeah.”

  “Sounds like the perfect kind of relationship, if you ask me.”

  Madi smirked. “Thanks, Sarah.”

  *   *   *

  By midway through the movie, Madi had taken to multitasking. Back to the Future was one of the films she’d seen several times, and she knew what to expect. She flicked through her dashboard posts, smiling to herself as she discovered a new meme. The MadLibbers had embraced the ’80s theme.

  Madi grinned and clicked REBLOG at the same time her phone buzzed.

  Madi, are you around? (It’s your mom.)

  For a minute, Madi considered not answering her, but knowing her mother it would only make the situation worse. Her father was out at an interview. Madi knew not to interrupt him, but she also knew he’d answer his cell phone if his wife called. Madi’s mother would, if she got no answer from home … and then her father would be worried. They could have a complete rehash of the previous night if she wasn’t careful.

  Annoyed, Madi tapped in a speedy reply.

  yes, i’m here. (u know ur name pops up, right?)

  Oh, right. Of course. (I’m just not used to it yet.) Do you have time to talk?

  i’m watching a movie with sarah right now

  How are things going at home?

  what things?

  Please don’t play games with me, Madison. How are things going? How are Sarah and your father? How are you? As a separate note, I checked in with the CUNY admissions office, and the receptionist told me they hadn’t received your finished course registration information yet.

  i’d appreciate you NOT checking up on me. things are fine

  Fine meaning what, exactly?

  …

  Madi? Did my last text make it through?

  My phone shows it on-screen, but I don’t know. Why does it have a different color? Does that mean it arrived? Oh, I wish this formatted things like e-mail does.

  …

  Madi? Are you still there?

  …

  All right, Madi, I’m needed in a meeting, but I’d appreciate if you replied when you get this text. Talk to you later. Mom

  …

  Madi set her phone down on the coffee table rather than answer. (If her mother called, she’d claim she hadn’t seen the last texts.)

  Sarah glanced over at her phone and then at Madi. “You okay?”

  “Aren’t I always?”

  “I guess…”

  There was the sound of gunfire on-screen and Sarah turned back to the TV. Marty McFly threw himself into the DeLorean, ready to go back into the past and change the present. Madi shook her head.

  If only life was that simple.

  *   *   *

  Madi reread her synopsis for Back to the Future, her finger hovering over the POST button. The movie had underscored what she already knew: She needed a change in her life. Problem was, Madi had no idea how to make it happen.

  And by the end of Back to the Future, I was shouting at the screen for Marty to reach the top speed and make it back to his present in time to save the Doc.

  I laughed. I (almost) cried. I hooted and cheered aloud when the lightning struck the clock. Bravo to ALL those MadLibbers who suggested this film. I’ve seen it at least five times before now, but it was SO worth a rewatch. It’s definitely one that stands the test of time.

  Here’s the final stats for my love-fest.

  Movie Rating: 10/10 Mad!Cows—a rarity on this blog! If you love underdog stories, then Back to the Future is for you.

  Would I rewatch it? Heck YES. Who wouldn’t want to go back and change their past? THAT is why this movie works. We all would. And if you haven’t watched this yet, then you need to.

  Go.

  *shushes you off*

  Go now.

  *taps fingers on laptop*

  Seriously, I’ll wait until you watch it.

  Done? Good. :D See? Wasn’t that awesome? EXACTLY.

  And with that, your latest installment of MadLibs comes to an en
d. Thanks to ALL the MadLibbers who came along this time. (Watch your posts for details on when the next movie will play.) And as always, clickety-click on those sparkly side links and give the comments a whirl to tell me what you think.

  *lightning flashes ominously on a clock tower*

  MadLib

  PS: Please note, anonymous comments are disabled for today’s post.

  * * *

  Comments enabled.

  Tags: #MadLibs #Back to the Future #Madi watches things and then blogs about them #Funemployment

  Madi chewed her thumbnail as she reached the final line of tags. She wanted to add in something else—about real life and the challenges of growing up—but she didn’t dare. She tried to keep her online and real lives separate if at all possible. And this post wasn’t the one where she’d break her own rule. Besides, she had enjoyed the movie. She and Sarah had talked about it long after it finished.

  Sarah. She was one reason things in Madi’s life couldn’t change. Her schedule linked her to Madi as much as any grade, school, or group of friends. Her sister was a hashtag that couldn’t be altered. Madi couldn’t even be upset with her for it.

  #Nothing to do but keep going.

  With a resigned sigh, she hit POST.

  10

  “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

  (Dirty Dancing, 1987)

  Madi was working on an English assignment when a text from Laurent appeared.

  did you just send me a friend request?

  She frowned as she answered.

  no

  oh. okay. that was weird.

  a friend request on what?

  on FB.

  u still use that?!? LOL even my mom’s on that (and she’s completely LOST when it comes to technology)

  my parents and grandparents are on FB (which is why I pop in every now and then).

  so the madi nakama who tried to friend me isn’t you?

  nope. not me.

  weird. looks like you, just younger.

  rly?

  yeah. she’s wearing a blue sweater and her hair is over one shoulder.

  WTF??? hold on a sec, i’m going to check something

  okay.

  …

  you back yet?

  …

  madi?

  AAAAAAARGH!

  oh dear. what’s wrong?

  my account’s been hacked. damnit! I KNEW I should have deleted my FB account. (haven’t used it in years)

  yikes! what now? should I tell someone? (report it?)

  it’s fine. i just need to contact support & change the account back to my control. thanks for letting me know. got to go

  talk to you later?

  definitely! (go check out my blog if you have a second. just posted my newest.)

  EEEEEEeeeee!!!!!! AWESOME!

  LOLOL u r the BEST, laurent! even when i’m crabby you make me feel better. Now go read the blog

  as you wish.

  love that movie!

  Madi smiled to herself as she set her phone aside and opened her laptop. The MadLibs blog was her home page, and she immediately scrolled down to the comments, wondering what kind of reaction her rewatch post was getting. She hoped her excitement for the film had spread to her readers, too.

  Comments on Blog Post 211: Back to the Future!

  Comment 1.1, @laurentabelard: What a fantastic movie and a great post. It made me wonder whether or not you’d go back in time if you had a chance. (Anything you’d change?)

  Madi giggled as she read Laurent’s comment. For some reason it mattered how he felt more than it did with her other readers. She considered her reply—should she play it cool?—then went from the gut.

  @MadLib: At the risk of screwing my life up now? No. Probably not. (Knowing me, I’d end up blurting out some terribly important fact and the universe would implode.)

  @laurentabelard: Wouldn’t want to meet me earlier? (I’d want to meet you.)

  @MadLib: And mess up the perfect balance of flirting and angst we’ve got going on now? ;) I’d have to think about that one.

  @laurentabelard::D Aha! I like that combination. But if someone shows up in a TARDIS, you should know it might be me.

  @MadLib: I’ll definitely watch for you. :D

  Comment 2.1, @fandometric: Love this movie so much!

  @MadLib: I did, too. Thanks so much for the comment!

  Comment 3.1, @ArtWithAttitude: This wasn’t so much a hit for me, but your writing always makes me grin. I’m REALLY hoping Some Kind of Wonderful is the next MadLib. That movie is ah-MAZE-ing!

  @MadLib: Haven’t chosen the next one yet, but SKOW is certainly a contender! Thanks for reading!

  Comment 4.1, @ModernDayWitch: Aw … so much love for this post. You GO, @MadLib

  @MadLib::D X 10000 You are the BEST!

  Comment 5.1, @Malwarning: Awwwwww … sweet little @MadLib going back to her so-sweet-my-teeth-hurt blogging style. How 1980s RETRO. Weren’t YOU the one who said you didn’t like ’80s movies because they weren’t escapist enough? So which is the REAL @MadLib, huh? The Starveil fake geek girl? The social justice warrior? Or the too-sweet Mary Sue? Or do you just spout off your drivel according to whatever you think will get you the most hits? Either way, I CALL BULLSHIT.

  Madi’s chest grew tight as she read through the irate comment. Malwarning. She didn’t recognize the name, but whoever it was, he wasn’t happy. Heart pounding, she typed in a terse reply.

  @MadLib: First—you’ve never even READ my blog before. (I know, because I actually read and respond to comments.) But new or not, I really don’t appreciate the trash talk. Don’t like my blog? Don’t read it. It’s a free world. *shows you the door*

  She posted her retort. Seconds later, a reply appeared.

  @Malwarning: Oh, I’m not new, @MadLib. I’ve been following you FOREVER. Couldn’t hack the Redux fansite, little girl? Or just too scared to play with the BIG BOYS? You gonna cry now? GOOD.

  Madi knew she should calm down and think about things, but she was too angry. “You asshole!” she growled, typing as fast as she could. “Who do you think you are?”

  @MadLib: Let me just say one thing before I block your sorry ass: You are on MY turf now. This is MY blog, MY friends, MY words. And I’m sick of your kindergarten name-calling! If you’re the Redux jerk who made my life a living hell, then I hope you’re living all the karma you earned. Because I’m DONE with putting up with trolls like you! BLOCKED. BLOCKED. AND BLOCKED. PS: Learn some tech skills along with your manners. Your IP address is now sitting on my desktop. #pwned

  Session closed.

  Comments disabled.

  Madi grabbed her phone, ready to tweet her frustration to the world. This newest MadLibber was a jerk! A post appeared on her dashboard before she did. Her fingers paused over the CLOSE button as she read it.

  A shiver ran through her. “Malwarning was the troll,” she said quietly. She set the phone down and stared at it. “He used a name this time, but it’s the same guy. He’s the troll from before.”

  Now that the thought had arrived, she couldn’t shake her conviction. She glanced at her laptop. It sat open at the comments screen. With a rising sense of dread, she clicked on her e-mail tab. A message awaited.

  NEW Message, @Malwarning2: 7:04 p.m. EST

  Subject: Did you just BLOCK me?

  I don’t think you get this, Madi. I’m not going anywhere. So stop being a baby and DEAL.

  Panic turning to anger, Madi hit REPLY.

  Reply to Message from @Malwarning2: 7:06 p.m. EST

  Subject: RE: Did you just BLOCK me?

  Yes, I totally get this, jerk. And now you’re blocked here, too. I wasn’t kidding. This blog is mine and trolls like you aren’t welcome. GO BACK TO REDUX.

  In seconds, she had blocked the adjusted username. “There. That should—”

  A new message appeared.

  NEW Message, @Malwarning3: 7:08 p.m. EST

  Subject: Oh, I can do this all day

  No
pe. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t like it? RUN. That’s what you did before, didn’t you? SJWs like you like to talk big, but you can’t hack it face-to-face.

  “SJW,” Madi muttered. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean?!” She started to type in a reply, then stopped and popped open Malwarning’s full header. Once she’d selected VIEW MESSAGE SOURCE, the IP address appeared. She smirked. “Take that, asshole.”

  She finished typing her return e-mail and hit SEND.

  Reply to Message from @Malwarning3: 7:09 p.m. EST

  Subject: RE: Oh, I can do this all day

  You realize, name change or not, I snagged your IP address. Right? Harassment is ILLEGAL. And you are WAY past the line. (BLOCKED again.)

  A response e-mail—from yet another alias—appeared almost immediately.

  NEW Message, @Malwarning4: 7:11 p.m. EST

  Subject: Fuck. You.

  Nah, bitch. If you had any way of finding me, it would have happened already. And all this BS you’re shoveling at me is going to make it worse. You think this is all I can do to you? You ain’t seen NOTHING yet.

  “You bastard!” Madi shouted.

  From the living room downstairs, Madi heard her father bellow: “Watch your language, please, Madi!” She didn’t answer. If this troll was hiding his whereabouts, she’d have more difficulty keeping him away. She typed in an angry reply.

  Reply to Message from @Malwarning4: 7:15 p.m. EST

  Subject: RE: Fuck. You.

  I’ve seen enough to know your IQ is even lower than your language skills. And I’m DONE talking with you. Get back under your bridge. You’re not welcome here. Blocked, and blocked, and BLOCKED.

  With her message sent, Madi opened an IP address search engine and pasted each of the different IP addresses from the incoming e-mails into it.

  “Oh, please, please be there,” she muttered.

  While the search engine chugged, Madi turned off all incoming e-mail and set an automated message. As she watched, a series of incoming e-mails appeared and were bounced back just as quickly. Whoever the troll was, he was persistent.

  *Automated response* to @Malwarning5: 7:16 p.m. EST

  Private messaging for all e-mail clients on the MadLibs blog is currently closed. Please check back again later.