‘So, what you’re saying is that you want us to sneak down in this elevator in the middle of the night and find out where this door leads to?’ I raised an eyebrow. ‘But I still don’t get why we have to do this cloak and dagger shit when we could just ask her?’
‘Come on, Electra, stop being so brittle. This secret lift and cellar are there, and Pa put them there for a reason. Whatever you think or feel about him, he was a practical man. Anyway, I’m always awake during the night because of Bear so I’m going to investigate. I just wondered if you fancied coming with me? Tiggy said it would take a couple of us to move the rack in front of the hidden door. She also told me where the key was. Now, would you mind holding Bear for a few minutes while I use the bathroom?’ Ally got up and dumped Bear on my lap. To stop him falling backwards, I had to grab him with both hands. He gave a large burp in retaliation.
‘Brilliant!’ said Ally as she stood in the doorway. ‘I’ve been trying to get that out of him for the past hour!’
The door closed behind her and Bear and I were left alone.
I looked down at him and he looked up at me.
‘Hi,’ I said, praying he wouldn’t pee on me or something. It was the first time I’d ever held a baby.
He gave me a hiccup, and continued to stare at me.
‘What are you thinking, little guy? Are you wondering why, even though I’m your auntie, I’m, like, a totally different colour to your mom? You never met him, but you had a seriously weird grandfather,’ I continued, because he seemed to be enjoying the chat. ‘I mean, he was amazing, like, real clever and stuff, but I think he kept a lot of secrets from all of us. What do you think?’
I suddenly felt his little body relax in my arms and by the time Ally came back, Bear had closed his eyes and was fast asleep.
‘Wow, you’ve got the touch,’ Ally smiled at me. ‘I normally have to rock him for hours before he’ll give in.’
‘I guess he was bored,’ I shrugged as Ally gently took him from my arms.
‘I’m going to put him in his cot and catch some rest while I can,’ she whispered. ‘See you later.’
Before dinner, I made sure that I’d taken enough precautionary vodka to keep calm, then fixed myself another large one from the pantry when I got downstairs. Thankfully, the conversation didn’t go much past how phenomenal Claudia’s cooking was (it was her famous schnitzel, and I ate up every scrap) and the plans for our boat trip to Greece to lay a wreath on the anniversary of Pa’s death.
‘I thought we girls should go on the actual cruise alone, but Maia is flying over the week before with Floriano, who I can’t wait to meet, and his daughter Valentina,’ Ally informed me. ‘Star, Mouse and his son Rory will be flying in, as well as Tiggy, her boyfriend Charlie and his daughter Zara . . .’
‘Wow!’ I cut in. ‘So Maia, Star and Tiggy are all surrogate mothers to their partners’ children?’
‘Yes, they are,’ Ally agreed.
‘And as your surrogate mother, I know my girls will love the children in their care no less because they are not blood,’ said Ma firmly.
‘Is CeCe coming?’
‘She said she will, yes. She hopes her grandfather and her friend Chrissie might come with her too.’
‘Her “friend” Chrissie?’
Both Ma and Ally stared at me and I wondered why I had to be the only one in the family to actually voice the truth.
‘They’re in a relationship, right?’
‘I don’t know,’ Ally said, ‘but she sounds very happy, which is the most important thing.’
‘But it was obvious from the get-go that CeCe was gay, right? That she was in love with Star?’
‘Electra, it is not our place to pry into other people’s private lives,’ interrupted Ma.
‘But CeCe isn’t “other people”, is she? And besides, what’s the problem? I’m happy for her if she’s found someone she cares for.’
‘We really will be struggling for room,’ Ma continued relentlessly.
‘Well, as the rest of you guys have all found families and it’s just little ol’ me by myself, if there isn’t room, maybe I just shouldn’t come.’
‘Oh Electra, don’t say that! You have to come, you promised.’ Ally looked genuinely upset.
‘Yeah, well, maybe I can sleep in the secret basement Tiggy found when she was here,’ I replied, turning to Ma.
Ally’s expression threw daggers at me across the table, but I was too drunk to care.
‘Ah, the basement.’ Ma regarded both of us. ‘Yes, I did tell Tiggy it is there and there is no mystery to it. Once we have finished Claudia’s wonderful apple strudel, I shall take you down myself to see it.’
I threw back a ‘so there!’ look to Ally, who raised her eyebrows in exasperation, and once the dessert was finished, Ma rose and took out a key from the box on the wall.
‘Right, shall we go down?’
There was no need for an answer, as she was already walking out of the kitchen and Ally and I filed after her. In the corridor, Ma took hold of a brass loop and pulled back a mahogany panel to reveal a miniature elevator.
‘Why was this put in?’ I asked.
‘As I explained to Tiggy, your father wasn’t getting any younger and wanted easy access to all parts of the house.’ Ma opened the door and the three of us crammed inside. I immediately felt claustrophobic and took some deep breaths as she pressed a brass button and the door closed behind us.
‘Yeah, I get that, but why did he hide it?’ I asked as the elevator began to move.
‘Electra, shut up, will you?’ Ally hissed, by now beyond irritated with me. ‘I’m sure Ma will explain everything.’
It was a four-second ride, and I felt the bounce as we reached the bottom. The door slid open and we all stepped into a very plain basement which, as Ally had said, was bounded on all sides by wine racks.
‘And here you are.’ Ma stepped out and swung her arms around the room. ‘Your father’s wine cellar.’ She turned to me and smiled. ‘I am sorry, Electra, that there is no great mystery.’
‘But . . .’
Behind Ma, Ally’s eyes sent me a message that even I realised I couldn’t ignore.
‘I . . . well, it’s very nice.’ I began to wander round the shelves, looking at what Pa had stashed down here. I pulled a bottle out. ‘Wow, Château Margaux, 1957. This sells for over two thousand dollars in the best restaurants in New York. Pity I’m more of a vodka fan.’
‘Can we go back up? I need to check on Bear,’ said Ally, shooting me another warning glance.
‘Just give me a couple more minutes,’ I replied, continuing to browse the racks, pulling out the odd bottle and pretending to study its label, while all the time keeping my eyes peeled for the hidden door Ally had talked about. On the right-hand side of the room, I peered at a 1972 Rothschild Burgundy and spotted the almost invisible lines of an opening in the plaster behind the racks. ‘Right,’ I said, walking back to them both. ‘Let’s go.’
As we made our way towards the elevator, I noticed it had a solid steel surround.
‘What’s this for, Ma?’ I pointed at it.
‘If you press that button’ – Ma indicated one side of the surround – ‘it shuts the steel doors in front of the elevator.’
‘So you mean if we pressed it now, we’d be trapped down here?’ I asked, panic rising instinctively inside me.
‘No, of course you wouldn’t, Electra, but anyone trying to get into the cellar from the elevator would not be able to access it. It is a strongroom,’ she explained as we squeezed back into the tiny space. ‘Nothing unusual in the house of a rich family living in an isolated spot. If, God forbid, Atlantis was under attack from burglars or worse, we could seal ourselves in and call for help. And yes, chérie’ – Ma gave me a thin smile as we ascended the one floor upwards – ‘it does have a Wi-Fi signal down there. Now,’ she said as we all exited the elevator and trooped back into the kitchen, and I noted where she hung the key in the box, ‘please for
give me, but I am weary tonight and must go to my bed.’
‘That’s Bear’s fault – you’ve been up since five, Ma. I’ll see to him tomorrow morning.’
‘No, Ally. If I sleep now, I will be fine. I wake early anyway these days. Goodnight.’ She nodded at both of us and left the kitchen.
‘I’m going up to check on Bear,’ said Ally, about to follow Ma before I tapped her on the shoulder.
‘Then why don’t you take the elevator?’ I picked the key back off the hook and dangled it in front of her. ‘It goes up to the attic floor. There was a button for it in the lift.’
‘No, Electra, I’ll be fine, thanks.’
‘Suit yourself,’ I shrugged as she left to go upstairs. I fixed myself another vodka and Coke, then wandered through to the hall and pushed open the door to Pa’s study. It was like a living museum; it felt as though Pa had just popped out for a while and would be back soon. His pen and notepad were still sitting centrally on his desk, everything immaculate as always – Unlike his youngest daughter, I thought with a smirk, sitting down in his old leather-seated captain’s chair. I studied the shelves of books lined up along one wall, stood up and went to take out the big Oxford English Dictionary that I’d used so often when I was a girl. One day, I’d come in to find Pa sitting in his chair and doing a crossword in an English newspaper.
‘Hello, Electra,’ he’d smiled as he’d looked up at me. ‘I’m struggling with this one.’
I’d read the clue – They go down for a sleep (7) – and mulled it over.
‘Maybe your eyelids?’
‘Yes, of course, you are right! What a clever girl you are.’
From then on, during school vacations and if he was home, he’d beckon me into his study and we’d sit together and do a crossword. I’d found the pastime soothing – I still often grabbed a newspaper from a departure lounge while I was waiting to catch a flight. It had also given me a very good English vocabulary, which I knew surprised journalists who interviewed me – they all presumed that I was as thick as the make-up that was piled regularly on my skin.
Putting the dictionary back, I was about to leave the room when I was stopped in my tracks by the strongest smell of Pa’s cologne. I’d know its fresh lemony scent anywhere. A shiver went up my spine as I thought of what Ally had said earlier about feeling that Theo was there with her . . .
With a shudder, I hastily left the study, slamming the door behind me.
Ally was back in the kitchen, doing stuff with bottles.
‘Why is that milk in a jug?’ I asked. ‘I thought you breastfed Bear.’
‘I do, but I expressed this earlier so Ma can feed Bear when he wakes tomorrow morning.’
‘Ugh.’ I shuddered again as I watched her pour the milk into a bottle. ‘If I ever have a kid, which is doubtful to begin with, I couldn’t go through all that.’
‘Never say never,’ Ally smiled at me. ‘By the way, I saw a photo of you in some magazine a few weeks ago with Zed Eszu. Are you and he an item?’
‘Christ, no,’ I said, dipping my fingers into the biscuit tin and taking out a piece of shortbread. ‘We go out to play together in New York sometimes. Or to be more accurate, we stay in.’
‘You mean you and Zed Eszu are lovers?’
‘Yeah, why? Do you have a problem with that?’
‘No, not at all, I mean . . .’ Ally turned to me, looking nervous. ‘I . . .’
‘What, Ally?’
‘Oh, nothing. Anyway, I’m off to bed to try and sleep while I can. You?’
‘Yeah, I’m gonna join you,’ I said.
It was only when I’d downed a tooth mug of neat vodka from my holdall and clambered into my childhood bed, feeling nicely woozy, that I remembered the outline of the door behind the wine rack down in the basement. Maybe I should go now and investigate . . .
‘Tomorrow,’ I promised myself as my eyes fell shut.
The next morning, I woke to the screech of Bear’s crying, then reached for my earplugs, hoping to catch another couple of hours, but it was too late. I was wide awake. I threw on my old robe that still hung on the back of the door, then padded out of my room to find some company. The crying was coming from Ma’s suite at the end of the corridor, so I knocked gently on the closed door.
‘Entrez.’
I went inside and had the rare sight of Ma still dressed in her robe too.
‘Close the door behind you, Electra. I don’t want Ally to wake up.’
‘Well,’ I retorted as I watched her pace the room with Bear grizzling over her shoulder, ‘he sure woke me.’
‘Now you know what it was like for the older girls to be woken by you every night,’ Ma smiled at me.
‘What’s wrong with him?’ I asked as I watched her pat Bear’s back rhythmically.
‘Wind, nothing more. He is not good at getting it up.’
‘Was that why I screamed?’
‘No, you brought up your wind easily. You just enjoyed the sound of your own voice.’
‘Was I really that bad a baby?’
‘Not at all, Electra, you just didn’t like being alone. You would fall asleep in my arms, but the minute I put you down in your cot, you would wake up and cry until I picked you up again. Can you pass me that muslin, please?’ Ma pointed to a white fabric square sitting on the coffee table.
‘Sure,’ I said as I handed it to her. I glanced around me at the pretty flowered curtains, the cream damask couch, the photos on the mahogany bureau and the occasional tables placed around the room. Pink roses sat on the coffee table and I thought how the room mirrored who Ma was: elegant, understated and immaculate. I walked over and picked up a framed photograph of Ma in pearls and an evening gown and Pa in a dinner jacket and bow tie.
‘Where was this taken?’
‘At the opera in Paris. We saw Kiri Te Kanawa singing Mimi in La Bohème. It was a very special evening,’ Ma explained, still pacing the soft cream carpet with Bear.
‘Did the two of you often go out together?’
‘No, but we did share a love of opera, especially Puccini.’
‘Ma?’
‘Yes, Electra?’
Even at twenty-six, I didn’t know whether I had the courage to ask the question that had been burning on my tongue since I was small.
‘Were you and Pa . . . well, were you romantically involved?’
‘No, chérie. I am only in my mid-sixties, you know. Your father was old enough to be mine too.’
‘In my world, age doesn’t stop rich men having relationships with women young enough to be their daughters.’
‘Maybe not, Electra, but your father would never have countenanced such a thing. He was a consummate gentleman. And besides . . .’
‘Besides what?’
‘I . . . nothing.’
‘Please, say what you were going to say.’
‘Well, there was always someone else for him.’
‘Really? Who?’
‘Now, Electra, I have said enough.’
Bear finally let out an enormous belch and, quick as a flash, Ma caught the milky liquid that dribbled from his mouth with the muslin.
‘Bien, bien, mon petit chéri,’ she whispered as she cleaned him up. ‘Isn’t he adorable?’
‘If anything can be adorable at five in the morning while vomiting, then yeah, he is.’
‘I remember so vividly walking up and down with you in here trying to soothe you when you cried,’ said Ma as she sank into a chair and nestled Bear into the crook of her arm. He now looked as though he’d drunk too much vodka and his eyes were rolling back in his sockets. ‘It seems like yesterday. And here we are with the first of a new generation. Your father would have been so happy if he had known about Bear before he died. But it was not to be.’
‘No. Ma?’
‘Yes, Electra?’
‘Were you with Pa when he found me and brought me home?’
‘No, I was here caring for your sisters.’
‘So you don’t know whe
re I came from?’
‘Surely you must already know from your letter?’
‘I lost it,’ I shrugged, then stood up before she could reproach me. ‘I’m gonna go downstairs and get myself some coffee. Want anything?’
‘No thank you. I will put this little one back to bed and then follow you down when I’ve dressed.’
‘Okay, see you later.’
When Ally woke up at eight, I was already on my second vodka and wishing I’d arranged the jet back to New York for earlier. I had fourteen whole hours to somehow fill before I could leave. I seriously didn’t know how to do ‘downtime’; my boredom threshold was so low it was practically non-existent.
‘Fancy going out for a sail, Electra?’ Ally asked me over more of Claudia’s pancakes.
‘You mean on your Laser?’
‘Yes. The weather is beautiful and it’s perfect conditions – just enough of a breeze but not enough to make it unpleasant.’
‘You know that extreme sports aren’t my thing.’
‘Honestly, Electra, I’d hardly call a gentle sail on the lake when you just have to sit there and do nothing an “extreme sport”.’ Ally rolled her eyes. ‘Well, me and Bear are going, so I’ll see you later.’
I sighed heavily as she left, and ate a freshly baked muffin just because it looked lonely in the basket. Ally was back ten minutes later with Bear, who was wearing the cutest little life vest and was strapped around her waist in a papoose.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?’
‘No thanks,’ I reiterated, then wandered into the living room, deciding I should have a movie day. Switching on the screen, I looked through the piles of DVDs, but couldn’t find one that interested me.
‘Shit,’ I groaned, looking at my watch. What did I do here when I was bored and antsy as a kid?
You ran, Electra . . .
‘So I did,’ I murmured to myself. If I was upset or someone was cross with me (and it was normally both), I’d just take off into the mountains behind the house – I’d found a winding path that took me over some rough terrain, but wasn’t totally vertical – and run and run all the thoughts out of my head.
The Sun Sister Page 6