by Layla Nash
"Buy them?" Horror made her hazel eyes darker. "You're fucking kidding me. You guys know about that and let it happen?"
Silence. Atticus didn't have a good defense, so he offered none. "Yeah. The Council is planning how to shut it down, but they're trying to figure out how to regulate it so no one gets hurt. It's complicated."
"Sounds pretty fucking simple to me," she said, and poked him in the side. "Women being auctioned off is slavery. That shit's illegal. End it."
"We're working on it," Carter said.
Sophia scowled at her plate and Atticus wanted to pull her onto his lap to cuddle. She stabbed a pepper with her fork and brandished it at him, and he thought better of getting closer until there weren't pointy implements around. "So what happens if one mate dies and the other doesn't? What then?"
His breath caught and he wasn't sure he could actually answer. Just the thought of enduring the loss of a mate made it difficult to inhale.
Carter rubbed his jaw and answered for him. "They survive, at least for a while. I'm told it's like losing part of your soul. There's just emptiness. It's rare for a surviving mate to live very long after the death of their partner, unless there's a strong family or pack network to keep them present. Most just waste away. If the mate bond isn't well-established, there is less damage done."
She put the fork down and rubbed her temples. "That's sad. Do you know anyone who lost their mate?"
Atticus couldn't look at her. Edgar's secrets were his own, and not for his brothers to share. Carter shrugged, leaning back in his chair. "Sure. I think one of the bears lost his mate. There are rumors that one of the Evershaw brothers lost a mate, but they don't talk about it. Most people won't."
"I can imagine." Sophia leaned against Atticus's shoulder. "I don't want to think about that."
"Me either." He pulled her close enough to kiss her forehead. "So get your ass to the gym and meet your leopard. I've gotta go find Edgar."
He shoved back from the table before she could say anything else and strode away. Her questions alone gave him anxiety. He would be too worried, too angry, to help her focus during her work with Carter. Better for him to stay in his room than distract her. He barely made it to Edgar's office before the shift took him and he curled up behind the desk as a lion, hiding away until he could stop thinking about what it would feel like to lose her and half of his soul.
Eighteen
I woke up in the cage. My heart sank as I saw Logan and Edgar standing in the office, arms folded. Atticus was nowhere to be seen. In a now-familiar routine, I pulled on the clothes they'd left in the cage with me and Edgar let me out. I took a deep breath. "I thought I had it."
"I know." Logan didn't quite meet my eyes, instead studying the books on the shelves behind me. "Carter said you're close. He didn't see this one coming."
"Explains the darts." I rubbed my hip, where deep bruises betrayed they'd had to shoot me with the tranquilizers yet again. I struggled to remember what happened but everything remained foggy, so I paced. Sometimes movement helped.
Edgar leaned against the cage as he watched me limp along the far wall. "We requested a stay from the Council."
Hope surged as I looked at him. "And?"
"Denied." Edgar shook his head. "We requested keeping you drugged, so you cannot physically shift, or keeping a tracking collar on you, or keeping you in the cage unless one of us is with you. We asked for any other decision, Sophia."
I knew better than to get my hopes up. "And they said no."
"We will keep trying," Logan said quietly. But he studied his hands instead of me. "I can probably strong-arm the BloodMoon Pack and the bears into siding with us, and the hyenas will side with Eloise if she speaks for you. But that leaves us short of the quorum. It would be a roll of the dice. The best resolution is still for you to shift successfully tomorrow, Sophia. Can you do it?"
"Probably not." I cleared my throat around a sudden knot that made it difficult to speak, and I stared at the window and the green grass beyond it. "Sometimes she's there and I can feel her, but as soon as I think I've got it, she's gone."
"With Carter as well as Atticus?"
"Yeah."
Edgar looked tired, deep shadows under his eyes and a few days' growth of beard on his jaw. "Is there anything that makes it better? Liquor? Fighting? Sex?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. Meditation gets me close but that's it. And close doesn't cut it with this, I'm guessing."
"It doesn't." Logan glanced at his watch, then gestured at the door behind me. "It's almost time for dinner, Sophia. Get cleaned up and we can talk more about this while we eat. We'll find a solution."
I bit my lip as I went, not trusting myself to speak again, and left. I didn't cry as I walked through the halls, as I showered, as I got dressed again. It felt too surreal for tears. Impossible. I couldn't do it, and they would kill me. Even in the darkest days of feeling like an outcast, unwanted and alone, hope still existed.
I hesitated outside the dining room, not wanting to interrupt the quiet conversation as the family gathered. No doubt they all knew what happened, and they all knew what would happen the next day. No need for me to be a damper on —
"Hey," Atticus said behind me, and I jumped. He leaned against the wall, his expression neutral as he watched me. "Logan said you had a problem this afternoon."
"Yeah." I swallowed hard and tried to form a complete thought. When that failed, I lurched forward and buried my face against his chest, leaning against him as the strength left me.
Atticus's arms immediately crushed me close and he held me tight, kissing my temple as he murmured, "I know. I know."
I squeezed my eyes shut as tears burned and broke free, soaking into his t-shirt in uneven splotches. I forced the words out. "I don't want to die."
"You won't." Atticus stroked my hair, rocking me back and forth. "Sophia, sweetheart, you won't. Logan will talk to —"
"He asked the Council," I said, and my voice jumped a few octaves before I could control it. I inhaled him, the masculine outdoorsy scent that clung to him even inside. "He asked them for anything and they said no."
"I won't let them hurt you," he breathed, and buried his face in my hair.
I believed him. I shouldn't have, but I did.
We might have stood there all night but a cleared throat made Atticus look up. He nodded, saying, "Yeah," and then squeezed me again before leading the way into the dining room.
The family sat solemnly at the table as Atticus pulled out my chair and I collapsed into it. Carter looked perturbed, shaking his head slowly like he needed to clear water from his ears. "We just need a little more time, Logan. She's almost there."
"I know." The alpha sat back, hands braced on the table, and surveyed the entire family. His pride. "We might be able to buy another couple of weeks by calling in some favors."
Natalia frowned as she picked up a glass of juice. "BloodMoon pack is with us. Rafe and Ruby are concerned about an uncontrolled shifter, but they've accepted Logan's word that you'll behave yourself."
"And the hyenas owe us a favor." This from Eloise as she offered an encouraging smile. "So Lacey will stand with us."
"Which leaves the jackals, the bears, the tigers if they show up, and the SilverLine pack." Edgar frowned as he played with the ever-present silver coin, flashing in the light as he fiddled.
"Fucking Miles Evershaw," Atticus spat, and I blinked at the venom in his voice.
As the other men grimaced, I looked around and tried to understand. "Who is Miles Evershaw?"
"The alpha of the SilverLine pack," Atticus said. "And the biggest asshole in the city."
"Oh." I looked from him to Logan and back. "But would he maybe agree to help?"
"Probably not." Logan's upper lip curled. "Because that would mean he stopped being an asshole for half a second. You know how sharks die if they stop swimming? Well, if Evershaw stops being an asshole, he dies."
Natalia snorted, patting his arm. "Come on, honey. He
sort of helped Eloise."
The half-gorgon tapped her chin in thought. "I could call Todd Evershaw, maybe he would —"
"Don't you fucking dare," Benedict growled, shooting her a dark look.
Edgar smiled as he glanced at his brother. "Actually, Todd might —"
"Not. Happening." Benedict scowled at his brother, and when Eloise opened her mouth to argue, the lawyer leaned until his nose was an inch from her. "I'm serious. Don't call him."
Her eyes flashed silver and I wondered whether Todd Evershaw was as big a dick as his brother. I even opened my mouth to ask but Atticus squeezed my hand, shaking his head. So apparently we didn't tease Benedict when he got that particular look in his eyes. Eloise said very calmly, "You don't tell me what to do, asshole," and honked the end of her mate's nose.
Benedict sat back, still looking disgruntled, and reached for his wine glass. "We'll discuss that later. When I've got you all tied up."
A pretty flush suffused Eloise's cheeks and she gave him an arch look. Before she could say anything else and enflame the situation, Logan held up his hands. "Anyway. We can't count on Evershaw. The bears are not sympathetic. Kaiser deals with his own uncontrollable bears all the time, so he doesn't have much patience."
The food, as delicious as it always was, tasted like ash. I rubbed my temples and started to slide my chair back. "I appreciate all of this, but I'll face the Council tomorrow and figure it out when —"
"No, you won't," Natalia said. She pointed at my chair. "Sit. We are a family and we face these things together."
"But I'm not —" I choked on the words.
The chef scowled and I saw a hint of how a pure human could hold her own in a pride of lions. The girl had cojones. "You are. You are absolutely part of this family. Atticus loves you, you love him, and the rest of us are pretty fond of you as well. Except Benedict. But he's a lawyer, so who really cares?"
I blinked.
Benedict, distracted from whispering all the things he planned to do to Eloise, frowned at the other woman. "Hey. Low blow."
"You'll live." Natalia pointed at me. "And so will you, sug. So. Logan will figure out how to fix it." She gave him a sideways look that brooked no objection.
The alpha ran a hand through his blonde hair until it stuck up in disarray. "I'll do my best."
"What if she ran?" Eloise asked, her palm on Benedict's cheek to turn his face away from her. "And hid somewhere. Logan could negotiate with the Council until we had a better deal, and then Sophia could come back."
"If she runs," Edgar said, gaze weighty on me as if he knew I'd been considering it. "It's an immediate death sentence. Fleeing just proves what they fear the most — that she's uncontrollable."
Atticus pushed his plate away and draped his arm across the back of my chair. "It will work out. With or without the bears."
I wished I shared his confidence. Or Logan's. The alpha nodded and poured himself more wine, but he stopped himself from automatically pouring wine for his mate. My head tilted as I looked at her, curious about the juice — Natalia was a woman who enjoyed every type of indulgence. If she wasn't drinking... My jaw dropped and I drew breath to shout but she caught my eye and shook her head quickly, eyes wide. I bit my lip and looked down at my plate, trying to contain my glee. She was pregnant. Had to be.
And I might not be there to see the little thing, when it came.
Natalia cleared her throat, her voice rusty as she wobbled to her feet. "So. Dessert. Carly was kind enough to make a few pies while I was at the restaurant. Soph, dear, would you help me bring them in?"
I jumped up. "Of course." Atticus's grip on my wrist pulled me up short and I blinked, looking back at him. He caught my face, kissed me, then let me go. I almost tripped as I tried to make it around the table, and a few chuckles followed me out of the room. I didn't care, trying to catch up to Natalia.
She waited in the kitchen for me, dry-washing her hands as she paced around the island. When I walked in, she held up her hands. "Okay, so —"
I didn't even pause, walking up to hug her tightly. Wishing she could have been a sister or a best friend. Then I released her and stepped back. "Congratulations."
Natalia blinked at me, then abruptly wiped tears from her eyes. "Well, balls." She turned away to dab at her cheeks, waving me away when I started to ask what was wrong. "Sorry, this just happens. I can't control it anymore. Makes it a bitch to be in charge at the restaurant. I practically have to walk around chopping onions so no one knows I'm crying because the water didn't boil fast enough."
She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she faced me, holding me at arm's length. "You're too smart for your own good, young lady. Yes, I'm pregnant. But I'm only eight weeks or so and we're not telling anyone. And that's part of why Logan is being kind of a jerk. He's worried. Apparently shifter-human babies are more vulnerable early on. So until we're past twelve weeks, not a peep."
"Not a problem," I said, and hugged her again. "At least he's not being a Miles Evershaw-level ass, right?"
"Just wait." She sounded droll as she slid two pies in front of me and went to the fridge to retrieve fresh whipped cream. "He wants to install cushioned floors in the entire house, and the restaurant, and the soup kitchen, so there's less chance my knees and back will hurt."
"That's sweet. Sort of." I scratched my head as I looked around the kitchen at the hardwood floors. Cushioned floors would be freaking expensive. "Kind of wasteful, though."
"That's one word for it." She sighed, hand resting absently on her stomach. "God help me when the baby starts to show. And when it moves. And when it's born. He'll be impossible."
I'd never thought about children. I hadn't. I hadn't known a mother, so being a good one might have been beyond me. But with the pensive hope on her face and the looming threat of my death, an overwhelming sense of loss almost knocked me down. I wouldn't have the chance to be a mother. I wouldn't be able to get married and have babies and watch them grow up to get married and have their own babies.
My breath seized and I choked, my knees giving out until I slid to the ground. I would never get to marry Atticus. Would never see what our kids looked like.
Natalia crouched in front of me, gripping my chin until our eyes locked. "You will be fine, Sophia. More than fine. Trust me."
I didn't. I didn't believe her. But I wanted to. The energy flowed through me as I concentrated on breathing, and as I watched her face and the concern in her eyes, someone else huffed away in my head. Her. Leopard. Wild and uneasy, but certain she wanted to live.
"There you are," Natalia breathed, and her smile nearly blinded me. "Hey kitty. Behave yourself."
"What's going on?" I whispered, not wanting to speak too loudly for fear I would scare the leopard away. She remained a passenger in my thoughts, in my heart, and I desperately wanted her to stay.
"Your eyes have gold in them." Natalia leaned against the cabinets across from me, and her legs bumped mine. "Just sit with her for a while. We're in no rush."
"Yeah, I —" and then she was gone. The leopard fled and left a gap behind. I sighed. "I just can't get her to stay."
"It's okay." Natalia heaved to her feet and gathered up the pies. "Grab the servers and the cream, will you? I'm surprised they haven't come through the walls, looking for dessert."
It took more effort than I could admit to smile and follow her back into the dining room.
Nineteen
Dinner lasted an eternity. After a while, it seemed like no one wanted to be the first to leave the table, because that meant the night would be nearing its end and the morning on its way. And with the morning would come the Council meeting and the decision about Sophia's fate. Atticus kept drinking, hoping it would take some of the grief out of the hours they had remaining. Finally, Natalia pushed back from the table. "I'm falling asleep, so I'm going to call it a night."
Logan immediately stood and helped pull her chair back. "It's late, you need to rest." She smiled and waved goodnight, and Logan
paused in the door only long enough to say, "We'll leave tomorrow at nine," and then he, too, went to bed.
The others retreated, Benedict still muttering about how he would punish Eloise for teasing him about Todd Evershaw, until only Edgar, Sophia, and Atticus remained. Edgar scavenged a piece of pie crust from the tin and shook it at Atticus as he stood. "Don't stay up too late. Everyone needs to be rested."
Atticus waited until his brother left to look at Sophia, his heart in his throat. "Hey."
"Hey," she said, eyes drooping.
"Let's go to bed." He picked her up, loving that she looped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, and carried her back to his room. She didn't let go even as he turned off the lights and lay her on the bed.
Sophia pressed her cheek to his. "Say you love me."
"I love you," he said, and kissed her.
She released him long enough to wiggle out of her clothes and pull at his, and Atticus complied. They didn't speak. His heart ached as he stroked her sides, her smooth skin, the gentle swell of her hips. She sighed and murmured under his hands, fingers working into his hair to draw his mouth to hers, and lifted her hips to meet him. Atticus entered her slowly, gently, and the soft sigh she made as his stomach met hers almost put him over the edge. He kissed her, nibbled down her throat to her shoulder, as he moved.
They made love in the dark, almost melancholy despite the passion that carried them both away too soon. It felt like goodbye. After he shuddered through his own climax, Atticus rested his forehead against her shoulder and tried to breathe her in. Tried to call the leopard to the surface so everything would go fine the next day.
Sophia lay beneath him, eyes closed as her fingers trailed up his spine, and almost smiled. "I love you too."
Atticus squeezed his eyes shut to block out regret. She would be fine. She would survive. They both would. He took a deep breath and went to his elbows over her, studying the strong line of her jaw and the delicate curve of her ear. His lips brushed hers, and he whispered, "You should run."