by Layla Nash
Her eyes flashed open, blue-gold enough to be the leopard, but it was only Sophia who raised her eyebrows. "What?"
"You should run." He swallowed regret and eased to the side, slipping away from her body and from her. "I can't stand the thought that you might not — that things might —" He shook his head, unable to force the words out. "I need you to live, Sophia."
"I need you to live, too." She faced him, brushing the hair off his forehead as she studied his face. "Atticus, how much longer can you live with your lion if I'm not here?"
He smiled and drew her close to his chest. "I'll be fine. He just needs to know that you're safe. Some day I'll find you and we can be together."
"The Council won't —"
"I'll worry about the Council." Atticus kissed her again, tasting a hint of the apple pie she'd had for dessert. "We'll be able to work with them once you're somewhere safe."
She searched his face for something, worry drawing lines around her eyes, and her lips pursed. "Atticus."
He nuzzled her nose. "I just want to hold you for a while, Sophia. Can you sleep?"
"With you? Always." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.
They lay in silence and though Atticus closed his eyes, he didn't sleep. From the way her breath hitched periodically, neither did Sophia.
Atticus waited until around five in the morning to move, to wake Sophia, and he waited in silence as she eased out of bed and crept around the room. He kept his eyes closed as he said, "The security guards will switch over at five thirty-five. There's a gap between five thirty-five and five thirty-seven. You can make it to the window west of your room. There's a balcony underneath; drop down to that and then down to the ground. Someone left a moped along the west side of the drive, and I'm pretty sure the gate will be open enough for a moped to squeeze through."
She leaned on the bed to kiss him one more time.
Atticus struggled to control the lion as he realized their mate would be leaving, but squeezed her butt one last time. "Be safe. I'll find you soon."
She said something he didn't catch, and then she was gone.
Atticus stared at the ceiling as the clock ticked into the silence, waiting for his phone to ring and Edgar to announce they'd caught her, and eventually an hour passed. Then two. He finally stirred and forced himself out of bed, moving on autopilot to get dressed and ready to face his brothers. In the hall, though, he paused to look at her room. After a heartbeat, he headed for Logan's office. He owed his brothers an explanation. They needed to know about his control issues. It might make them more sympathetic to Sophia if they knew Atticus suffered as well. Or maybe he wanted to punish himself for not being able to save her.
He walked, rigid with despair. Sophia was gone. Not even her scent lingered in the hall.
His feet took him through the house to Logan's office. Atticus surprised Logan, Edgar, and Benedict in the middle of an intense discussion. It stopped the moment Atticus appeared, and he held his breath. Benedict nodded to their older brothers and said, "I'll be at the office with the paperwork. Just let me know." As he walked out, he slapped Atticus on the shoulder — but said nothing.
Atticus looked at his brothers as Logan and Edgar studied him. At length, Atticus took a deep breath. "There's something I need to tell you."
His heart raced, pounded against his ribs, but his hands remained steady. Even as Logan's expression hardened and he braced for bad news and Edgar folded his arms over his chest. Atticus stared at the ground near Logan's feet and tried to use one of Sophia's breathing techniques to calm himself. "For the last couple of years, I haven't — my lion is restless. Unruly. I can't control him. The only time he rests is after I fight. If I fight enough, he sleeps."
Edgar rocked back a step. Some of the color drained from his expression. "You can't be serious."
"Yeah." Atticus plowed on, still not brave enough to look at Logan. "It keeps getting worse. So I had to fight more. Run more. Keep moving so the lion wouldn't take over. But it's getting to the point... I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't know if the next thing that puts him over the edge will be the last time I'm human."
"You didn't say anything." Edgar shook his head. "Atticus, brother. Why didn't you say something?"
"You needed me to be strong." Atticus cleared his throat and dared a glance in Logan's direction. His oldest brother's expression remained inscrutable. So Atticus went on, clenching his hands around sweaty palms. Finally, the lion quieted. "I had to protect the family and the business. If I didn't do it, who would?"
"Brother, we would have figured it out." Edgar paced away and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I can't believe you suffered that long. Man, I wish you'd said something. Fuck."
Atticus waited. Watching Logan watch him. He felt freer all of a sudden. Like someone had been standing on his neck and he finally knocked them off. Logan and Edgar knew he couldn't control the lion. They knew. They would make a decision and he couldn't do anything about it. He exhaled for what felt like the first time in years.
Logan took a deep breath. He braced his hands on the desk and leaned forward, head lowered. As if the weight of Atticus's admission pressed him down. The alpha finally spoke, sounding more tired than Atticus had ever heard. "And how does the leopard fit into this?"
"She calms the lion," Atticus said. "I don't know why or how. When she's there, we're not restless. We're not unhappy or angry or ready for a fight. Everything is ... settled."
The silence stretched. Tension built until Atticus feared everything would snap and he would face his brothers as lions. At least that kind of fight would silence his lion for days, if not weeks. Maybe forever.
He clenched his fists. Maybe he could explain. They didn't understand. "She told me I was out of balance. That me and the lion — that we're two sides of the same hand. I was holding on so tight to one side that the other went all out of whack. I'm trying to smooth everything out. She helped."
"And that's why you let her go."
Atticus froze as Edgar spoke, and he faced the security chief. "What?"
"You let her leave." Edgar sighed. "Come on, man. There are cameras everywhere. She took off a couple hours ago."
"You let a feral leopard into the city. And now I have to go tell that to the Council. I'll be held responsible." A gold sheen covered Logan's eyes, then they faded to blue once more. He pushed off the desk and gathered papers to shove into his briefcase. "Atticus, you're my brother and I love you. Your health — physical and mental — is more important to me than security or having an enforcer or running off trouble. Don't ever doubt that. We'll figure something out with your lion. We will. Later."
He picked up the briefcase and headed for the door. "Now, though, I have to stand in front of that Council and tell them what happened to the leopard. They will hold us accountable, and I don't know what that will look like. Someone will pay the price for letting her loose. If they catch you first, brother, I don't know if I can save you without all of us going to war with the rest of the city. We'll do it, but — the consequences will be a kick in the nuts."
He walked out without another word. Edgar paused in the doorway. The disappointment in his eyes nearly crushed Atticus. His older brother took a deep breath. "Look, Atticus. We could have helped you, but... Come on, man. You should have told us sooner. I don't know what's going to happen. Just stay inside. Don't leave the house."
Then he, too, was gone.
Atticus waited half an hour before the lion grew too restless to remain indoors. Edgar's warning rang hollow. The shifters would be fools to test the lion's den. It would be suicide for them to even attempt the fenced property around the mansion. He paced outside, trying to find a hint of Sophia's scent on the air. He'd almost found it when the wolves ripped through the house and surrounded him.
Twenty
I grabbed a duffel bag and shoved my files into it, covering the paper with clothes and shoes. My heart pounded against my ribs. I'd left plenty of places in a hurry, but u
sually I had a better headstart. My mind raced to the next steps. How to get a car or a bus or train ticket, how to change my appearance and my scent, how I would get my last paycheck from the gym. Maybe I could call in a favor with John; apparently he was a coyote but his kind weren't part of the Council because of their overall bad behavior. The moped Atticus left me didn't have enough power to get me away fast enough.
The floor creaked and I whirled, picking up a lamp as a weapon.
Eloise raised her eyebrows from the doorway, arms folded over her chest. "What, you going to shine that light in my eyes?"
"I won't go back." I didn't relax my guard. She'd been nice to me, sure, but she was still Benedict's mate and they took the family thing seriously. I was on the outside of that nest, and she was inside. "Just say you couldn't find me."
"I'm not here to drag you back." She eased into the apartment, her gaze taking in every detail as her hair floated around her ears. "I'm here to tell you you're being a jackass."
"They'll kill me." The duffel bag hit the floor with a thud, and I set the lamp aside as well. "They will fucking kill me, and you want me to walk back in there?"
"They'll kill Atticus if you don't." Her gray-silver eyes betrayed nothing as she wandered into the kitchen. "They know he let you go, so now he's got to pay the price."
My heart sank. "He said they wouldn't do anything to him."
"He lied." Eloise shoved her hands in her pockets and ignored the ringing phone in her bag. No doubt Benedict, trying to find her. "He loves you and wants to protect you. So he'll face the Council for you."
"I told him not to." I cursed and kicked the couch, my lungs constricting. Damn it. Damn it all to hell. "I told him it wasn't —"
"Look." She paced toward me and her hair rose ever higher as her ire increased. "You and I are alike in some things, honey. We're both runners. I spent a lot of time trying not to get pulled into bullshit. But eventually I ran into something worth fighting for. Like you have. And it's time for you to hike up your big girl panties and take a stand."
"I can't risk it," I whispered. "I can't do what they want me to do. They'll kill us both."
"I'm not going to be a cheerleader, Sophia. I don't know if you can do it or not. I don't really give a shit. But you running away, and Atticus taking a stand against his brothers for you — for nothing — pisses me off. It's time to grow up."
Anger rose in my chest but I couldn't identify the cause. Maybe because she threatened us. Us? I pushed away the thought. "I'm plenty grown up, Eloise. I don't need a lecture from you. I'm fine. Atticus has a family to look after him. I've got to take care of myself."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, as if struggling for patience, and silenced her phone as it started ringing yet again. "You have family now too, girl. If you open up your eyes and figure out how to play nice. They would die to defend you if you just tried."
"But —"
"The family you're born into doesn't matter." She gestured at the hair standing around her head in an ethereal cloud. "Obviously. I was raised by freaking Medusas. There wasn't a lot of love there, but they tried. Half a dozen years in foster care did the rest. But now I have Benedict. And Natalia and Logan. And Edgar and Carter and Atticus. I have a family that I found, that I strengthen, that needs me to complete it. That wants me. And that is a thousand times more important than the people related to me by blood."
I stared at her, my heartbeat echoing in my ears.
She took a deep breath as her eyes slid from gray to mercury and back. "I'm not going to drag you back, Sophia. I won't tell Benedict where you are, even though I should. This has to be your choice. If Atticus is worth it to you, you'll do what's right and face the Council. If you run away again... Well." She shook her head, lip curling. "You didn't deserve him in the first place."
She turned and headed for the door. I started after her, but stopped. The door closed behind her but I couldn't move. Atticus would face the Council alone because he loved me and wanted me to live. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I had a chance to save him and didn't because I was scared. Scared and weak.
I clenched my hands at my sides. I wasn't weak anymore, and I knew how to fake courage. Fake it 'til you make it. Maybe Carter was right. Maybe I couldn't talk to the leopard because all of my courage stayed with her and all I had left was the fear. So long as I kept running, I would never figure out how to live with the cat.
My knees gave way and I fell onto the couch. I had to face the Council, and I had to face myself.
Twenty-one
The wolves caught him outside the mansion and chased him down, shooting him with multiple darts that stung as they filled his body with chemicals. They outnumbered him and fought as a pack, even in human form, and as they bore him down to the ground and tied him up, Atticus reconsidered Sophia's advice to study a specific discipline of fighting. Maybe if he'd been a kung fu master, he could have defeated the wolves.
They threw him into a van and jammed a needle into his thigh. Even though he roared and fought and his lion strained to take control, the wolves remained impervious — ready to die in the van, if it came to that, though they held tasers at his head.
The plastic zip-ties dug in to his wrists until blood dripped down his fingers, and when the pain remained for too long, Atticus stared at them. "What the fuck did you give me?"
"Wolfsbane," one of them answered, expressionless. "Prevents you from shifting and keeps you from healing. Works on lions, too."
Atticus snarled, trying to kick the son a bitch, but one of them charged their taser and the world went black.
Flashes of light and bouncing woke him. Atticus struggled but half a dozen sets of hands restrained him. When he opened his eyes, he saw semi-familiar halls of the Council meeting rooms and very familiar faces. Miles and Todd Evershaw, the alpha and second of SilverLine pack, strode beside their pack as they carried Atticus through the halls. He groaned. "What the fuck, Evershaw?"
He didn't even look at Atticus.
They dragged him into the Council room, into a meeting in progress, and dropped him in the middle of the circle of tables where the alphas sat. The pack members retreated as Logan jumped up, his expression dark. "Release my brother immediately."
Evershaw addressed the assembled alphas. "The leopard ran. She's loose now, and God only knows who she'll hurt before we catch her."
"And what does that have to do with Atticus?"
"He was her guard, was he not?" This from Todd, who looked at him as if Atticus were something he'd scraped off his shoe. "And he chose a rabid stray over family. He let her go, Logan. He's threatened the lives of everyone in this room, and the lives of everyone we love and protect. We cannot let that pass unaddressed."
The chemicals, that wolfsbane, worked through his blood until Atticus felt weak and disoriented. Figures blurred as they moved, and sound distorted as the alphas argued. The only thought in his mind was Sophia. She had a headstart. She was resourceful enough to make a good run. Maybe they'd never find her.
"So what is the punishment?" Logan growled more than spoke. "What punishment would the Council agree on?"
"He is not above the rules," came a grumbly voice, and Atticus's heart sank. Kaiser. So the bears attended. The giant grolar bear, half grizzly and half polar bear, leaned on the table in front of him until it creaked. "We cannot make exceptions for those close to us if we hope to enforce rules across the rest of the community."
"Love blinded him." Edgar didn't get up from where he sat but stared at something Atticus could never see. "She's his mate. Would any of you do differently if a group of alphas threatened your mate?"
"Which is why we will not require his death," Evershaw said. Logan roared at just the suggestion, and lifted the solid oak table to hurl across the room and over the heads of the jackal and hyena alphas. Evershaw folded his arms over his chest. "We gave him wolfsbane. He can't shift, won't be able to heal. He must know the pain his mate could have inflicted on us or on hum
ans or yet will. We will beat him within an inch of his life. There will be scars. He will be marked for the rest of his life for his folly, so he will remember the price of his disobedience."
Logan paced along the wall, pale eyes liquid gold and hands clenched in fists. "We do not agree."
"We can hold a vote." Kaiser shook his head, shaggy hair falling across his forehead, and gave Atticus a mournful look. "All opposed?"
"Opposed," Logan snarled, echoed by Edgar.
Everyone else remained silent.
"Just do it." Atticus forced the words out, made himself stand. Rolled to his feet despite his bound hands and feet, and stood to face the alphas as a man. "I accept my punishment. I would do it again."
Ruby, alpha of BloodMoon pack and Natalia's best friend, gave him a dirty look. Edgar shook his head, though. "No, Atticus, we will not —"
"Edgar," Atticus said. He felt so damn tired. At least his lion accepted this, understood this was the price they would pay for saving their mate. He didn't like it, but it meant protecting Sophia. Atticus straightened his shoulders and met their gazes, one by one. "I accept my punishment."
Silence. Then Evershaw picked up a wooden baseball bat from the corner. He walked into the center of the room, eyes on Atticus. "Good for you. You'll regret it, but good for you nonetheless."
Atticus braced for the first blow, though he bared his teeth at Evershaw. He'd always hated that guy.
Evershaw didn't look away, but he held the bat out to where Logan paced and Edgar sat. "And since he's yours, you will administer the punishment."
"No," Atticus said, just as Edgar stood. Atticus shook himself. "No. Don't make them do it. One of you."
"It's Logan's punishment, too," Ruby said. Her expression betrayed nothing, and Atticus wondered how she would explain this to Natalia. It was a savage kind of justice. The BloodMoon alpha didn't look away from him. "He failed to control you. He was remiss."