by Layla Nash
Logan stormed forward, about to hurl another table, but Edgar shoved his arm across the alpha's chest to cut him off. Edgar held out his hand for the bat, keeping Logan away. "I'll do it."
"Edgar —"
The security chief shook his head, wouldn't look at Logan. No emotion crossed Edgar's face as he stepped closer to Atticus. "I should have done something about it earlier. It's my fault."
Atticus looked at his brother, heart in his throat, and tried to find words. The beating from the wolves already swelled one eye shut, which was probably a good thing based on the burning in his sinuses. But he squared his shoulders and thought of Sophia. "I'm sorry, Ed."
Atticus stared straight ahead at where Rafe, Ruby, and Evershaw stood in a line, watching to judge the punishment. Only the harsh sound of his breathing disturbed the silence. As he waited for the whistle of the bat through the air, a chair scraped across the floor. Atticus dared a glance to his right. Kaiser lumbered around the table and held out a hand to Edgar. "I'll do it."
Edgar's jaw set. "It is a matter for the lions, it —"
"This is not a thing to have between brothers." Kaiser rested his hand on Edgar's shoulder and Atticus swallowed a knot in his throat at his brother's expression. Kaiser went on in a lower voice as he pulled the bat away. "He might forgive you one day, but you would never forgive yourself."
Edgar closed his eyes, then nodded. He shook Kaiser's hand but didn't look at Atticus. "I'll repay you one day."
"You can knock Axel around for me," Kaiser said, attempting a smile, and nodded at the grim polar bear in the corner.
The Chase security chief looked at him, then back at Kaiser. "Like I said, one day I'll repay you."
So Kaiser smiled as he turned his attention to Atticus, and his face turned grim. "I will not go easy on you, young man."
"I wouldn't expect you to." Atticus took a deep breath and tried to center himself, as Sophia taught him. Expelled all of the stress and concern. Lived in the moment. Breathed in and concentrated on gratitude. He closed his eyes and flexed, braced himself.
The first blow across his back rocked him forward, but Atticus regained his balance and braced for the next. Pain radiated from his shoulders to his knees with the steady drumbeat of the bat against his body. Every hurt accumulated until it welled up in his throat and threatened to spill out. The lion raged, fighting to free itself, and yet shifting wasn't even a possibility.
Logan cleared his throat, but his voice broke as he said, "Do you acknowledge —"
"My mate is free," Atticus said through clenched teeth. His fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to breathe. "My mate is free."
Kaiser sighed. "Boy, you are stubborn."
"She's worth it." Atticus sucked in air, grateful for the respite from the beating. "I'd die for her."
"You might." The bear shuffled back and the bat whistled through the air.
Atticus lasted half a dozen more blows before he went to his knees. But he refused to cry out. It would end eventually.
The stoic faces of the Council looked down on him without mercy. He represented a threat to their people, to their families, and they would not have mercy. Atticus paid the price.
It was worth it. He knew it in his bones. Completely worth every moment of it, up to and including his death, because Sophia was safe. Safe and far away from the stupid Council.
The door behind the table where Logan sat swung open and a slight figure walked in, too blurry from the blood in his eyes to see who it was at first. But people jumped to their feet and pounded on the tables, and Edgar reached for the tranquilizer gun.
Atticus's heart sank. It couldn't be.
Then Sophia edged through the ring of tables to stand in front of him. She took his battered face in her hands and tried to smile. "Sorry I'm late."
"You should run," he said, forcing the words out past split and bloody lips. He prayed it was a hallucination, that he spoke to himself in a moment of weakness, and Kaiser would return with the bat to put him out of his misery. But Sophia kissed his forehead and wiped the blood out of his eyes.
Atticus shook his head, lurching to his feet, and tried to put himself between her and the Council. "No. Let her go. I'll pay the price. She's innocent, she's fine. Don't do this."
She caught his wrist. "Atticus —"
"No." He snarled at Edgar when he got too close. Atticus would have shifted if it weren't for the wolfsbane, if only to buy her time to get away again. He faced the Council, stared at Logan until his eyes burned. "Do not do this. Please. I will take her place."
"You can't," his brother said, eyes sad. "Atticus, it's her fight."
The strength left his legs and he stared without hope at the people surrounding him. Men and women who promised to protect the weak and ill, and yet would kill this girl who was adrift and without family. His chest ached. The lion roared distantly, furious he couldn't protect his mate, and Atticus flexed his fists.
He took a deep breath as he stared down each of the Council alphas, waiting until hackles raised and growls echoed in the room so they would know he was serious. "If you kill my mate, every single one of you will pay for it in blood. I swear it."
His brother's eyes shone gold and his voice dropped, but he only looked at Sophia, standing next to Atticus. "She isn't condemned yet, Atticus. Save the death threats until the girl fails."
Sophia's dark eyes locked on Atticus and she stroked his cheek. "I won't fail."
His hands shook as he held her face, trying to memorize every eyelash and freckle, trying to cement the softness of her skin against his. The pain took a back seat as his forehead rested against hers. "If you can't —"
"I will." She trembled, though, and red rimmed her eyes.
"If you can't." Atticus kissed her forehead. "If the leopard is in there and she can hear me, if you can't control the shift and they try to kill you, take me with you."
"I couldn't —"
"Sophia." He tried to smile, rubbing his thumb across her cheekbone. It left a smear of blood. "Take me with you."
A tear slid free and down her cheek. She nodded, then cleared her throat and turned away. "I can do it."
"I know you can." He wobbled back and then fell, his strength gone. He lay back and watched Sophia face the Council and his brothers as his lion raged and the grip of the wolfsbane weakened.
Twenty-two
Angry-eyed men and women lined the hall as I strode in, Eloise beside me, and I remembered what I'd told Edgar forever ago. Well, six days ago. Fake it 'til you make it. I hoped the observers never knew how much effort it took to keep walking forward when my knees knocked and my hands trembled and sweat dripped down my back. But Eloise was right. Some things were worth fighting for.
If I ran, I would regret it every day of my life — regardless of how long that life was. And it wouldn't matter, because Atticus wouldn't be part of it.
A knot formed in my throat and made it difficult to swallow as I faced the massive wooden door where the Council waited. It muffled the sound of a bat thwacking into something solid, but didn't hide it completely. Atticus took my punishment and I hid like a coward. I closed my eyes and pressed my palms together at my chest, inhaling slowly to feel the ch'i move through me. At home in the universe, at home in myself. Something stirred in my chest and for the first time I felt as though there were two sides to my own hand — myself, and the leopard.
It gave me the courage to push the door open and walk into the den of angry alphas. Logan's attention snapped to me first and his eyes, already gold, sparked with some deeper emotion. Rage, maybe. Or relief. And Edgar started to smile, though he hid it quickly as another alpha bolted to his feet and yelled about the threat.
But it was Atticus, kneeling in the middle of the room with a giant beast of a man standing over him, who drew my attention. He tried to protect me but I'd made my choice. And it was some small luck that he passed out behind me from the pain, his face and body bleeding and bruised.
So I
faced the Council on my own, but with Atticus behind me. Sort of.
Logan cleared his throat as he eased to his feet. "Sophia, you must shift to your leopard form and back without losing control. If you demonstrate that control, you are welcome to live among us. More than welcome." And his gaze drifted to his youngest brother.
I understood why Logan took the position he did, but that didn't mean I liked it. Or him. My hands clenched behind my back as my mantra hiccuped and stuttered through my thoughts, but I kept my voice steady as I faced him. "And if I do not?"
His lips thinned and he looked away. The brute who'd beaten Atticus, his dark hair unruffled, leaned against one of the nearby tables. "Death."
Death. I knew it already but it sent a shiver through me. They'd really kill me. And by their aloof faces, they wouldn't even regret it.
I nodded, then glanced over my shoulder at where Atticus lay. "Just don't make him do it."
The brute smiled a tiny bit, but inclined his head to me in an almost courtly gesture. "I'll do it, young lady. You won't feel it."
"Good." I exhaled and closed my eyes once more, taking a ready stance with my hands clenched in front of me. The mantra slid through my mind and calmed the chaos in my thoughts. It stilled the uncertainty and fear that restricted my lungs and spurred my heart into irregular beats, and as I breathed, the world balanced.
My ch'i aligned, the energy of the universe flowed freely through me, and in the quietude of that moment, I felt her. The other. Wilder energy struggling to be free and content within me. A disruption searching for a place. The leopard. The other side of my hand. The other half of my soul. She was there, she was always there. I just hadn't seen her.
I could be the leopard and myself. There was no contradiction. I could be more than myself. Relief spilled through me and my heart opened.
I am more than the sum of my parts.
It felt like my chest broke open and light burst forth from inside me, like it radiated from me and would ignite everything in the room. I melted. Turned inside out. The pain flared brighter and I tensed, about to panic, but a sense of peace washed over me instead and the leopard said Peace, sister, and it was. It was peaceful.
I stood on four paws. Wobbled. Looked up and around as the world exploded in a rainbow of colors and textures and vibrations that knocked me back. But I saw. I saw. I knew. A shout rose in my throat, wanted to burst forth. I did it. I did it and everything would be okay and Atticus would not die. I would not die. I saved myself, and I saved him.
But a yowl, a leopard's cry, escaped.
I bounded, leapt, and danced. Ecstatic. Smooth muscles slid under my coat and the tail lashed the air behind me, gave me better balance as I slid on the smooth floors and my claws left tracks behind. I barked a laugh and jumped, scrabbled across the slippery wood to reach Atticus.
Shouts distracted me and I looked up, confused. The men and women at the tables jumped up, yelling, and as I crouched over Atticus to defend him, a pair of lions roared into the room. The giant man who'd said he would kill me had turned into the largest bear I'd ever seen, and he rose to his back legs with a ear-shattering roar as the lions bounded closer.
They were huge. Easily twice as tall as I and probably four times as heavy. Solid muscle, solid rage.
And they wanted Atticus. He lay near me and they almost reached him. If they reached him first, they would kill him. They'd take him away and I would never see him again.
I screamed a warning at them and grabbed Atticus, dragged him to me so I could crouch over him, guarding him. They would never touch him. The lions growled and snarled, one trying to distract me so the other could swipe at me or Atticus. The bear lumbered closer, smashing a table out of the way. I backed up, taking Atticus with me, until I had a wall at my back and a table over us.
Atticus groaned and tried to push me off him. I ducked my head enough to lick his cheek, trying to reassure him, and snarled as one of the lions stalked closer. Edgar crouched, the tranquilizer gun in his hands, and tried to get a good shot. I bared my teeth. My tail curled around Atticus's arm, tickled his cheek. He was mine and they wouldn't take him from me.
Logan stared at me, his eyes liquid gold and his voice more lion than human. "Let him go, leopard."
I snarled.
His head tilted, and as Edgar aimed the tranq gun, Logan reached to stop him. The lion alpha crouched at eye level with me. The growl rattled to silence in my throat. Maybe he knew. Maybe he understood.
If he didn't, I could make him. I didn't look away as I nuzzled Atticus's face, licked his cheek again, and tried to purr. I used one claw to slice through the plastic binding his wrists and feet. So he could run if we had the chance. He was mine. Mine.
Logan inhaled sharply. "Holy fucking shit, she did it."
"What?" Edgar looked at him. "She's going to kill Atticus, how can you —"
"She knows." Logan shook his head, lurched to his feet, and waved everyone away. "Give her space. She did it. She's fine."
Edgar scowled. "You can't —"
Logan grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him away several feet. "She was protecting him. Everyone started yelling and moving and she panicked. She's guarding him."
Edgar and the lions looked doubtful, but they backed up. Logan, grinning so much I could almost like him, strode back and sat on his heels in front of me. He wiped at his mouth, as if to hide his joy, and finally gave up. He pressed his hands together as he watched me. "You just have to turn back, Sophia. Just concentrate on being human again. Quiet and still in your mind, then be human."
For the first time, it occurred to me that I could get stuck as a leopard. It wouldn't be that bad, but it would make snuggling with Atticus kind of weird. I eased off him until all four paws hit the ground and I closed my eyes, trusting him. Calm and centered, my mantra running through my thoughts until the energy of the universe flowed through me. Carried me away.
And then — reality wrenched and twisted in a red flash of pain and I sat up. Human. And naked.
I didn't care. I laughed and pointed at Edgar in triumph. "I told you I would do it. I told you."
He sat heavily, the tranq gun falling to the floor, and he exhaled in a gust as he covered his face. "Fuck. Me."
Eloise eased forward and tossed a backpack to me, but she grinned until it looked like her cheeks would split. Her eyes shone with tears, not crazy gorgon magic. She whispered, "Good job, girl. Knew you could do it."
I pulled a shirt out of the backpack and put it on. Atticus stirred and I forgot about pants. I scrambled back to his side, holding his face in my hands. "Atticus? Are you okay?"
He made a strained noise, expression contorted, and his hands moved weakly against the floor. I bent and kissed him, pressed my cheek to his. Whispered in his ear that he damn well better be okay. I didn't care that Logan drove everyone else out of the room, the wolves glancing back and the bears grinning, or that the lions shifted into Carter and Benedict. I pressed my forehead to Atticus's. "Please be okay."
He took a deep breath.
"Sadistic leopard," he wheezed, mostly a groan. He pulled me down next to him and held me tight. "Had to wait 'til the last minute to make me suffer."
"You better get used to it," I said. I nibbled on his lower lip and wiggled closer as the purr ignited in his chest, and smiled. "I plan to toughen you up, lion."
He grumbled and rumbled and held my waist, then rolled until he pinned me. Thank God he still had pants on, though the soft fabric didn't leave much to the imagination. He kissed me deeply, hungrily, until the room spun and I made soft noises against his mouth.
Atticus let me breathe as he snuffled at my hairline and his hips settled against mine. His voice came out rusty with fatigue. "I'll teach you a lesson after I get some sleep, girl."
"We'll work on your stamina, too," I murmured.
"Okay, you two." Logan cleared his throat loudly from the other side of the room. "Don't make me get the hose. Keep it together until we drive you bac
k to the house."
Atticus lifted his mouth from mine and looked up at his brother, though his eyes were still swollen shut. "We're celebrating being alive. That can't wait."
"Yes it can." Logan laughed, but a hint of blush colored his cheeks.
"It'll just be a second." Atticus kissed the corner of my mouth, bit my chin. His fingers worked into my hair and held me in place as his mouth ravaged mine, his tongue thrusting and searching until I sighed and lifted my hips to his.
"Jesus Christ." The sound of footsteps retreated, then returned, but I didn't care.
I wrapped my arms around Atticus and held on as the hard length of his desire pressed against my stomach and his thighs shoved mine apart. I wanted him, I wanted to feel every inch of him, and the leopard wanted him, too. Energy centered and coalesced through me until I felt connected to everything in the universe. I felt primal. My nails raked across his back and Atticus growled, his hands bolder as he ripped my t-shirt off.
And then promptly yelled and jumped up as ice water crashed down on us. Atticus cursed and snarled, and hurled the nearest chair at his brothers and the dripping buckets they held. Logan, at least, looked regretful but Edgar enjoyed every minute of it. He even reached for another bucket, his eyebrows raised. "You will not fuck in the middle of the Council meeting room. That's just bad manners, Atticus."
Logan cleared his throat, though a laugh escaped before he glanced in my direction. "Sophia, we're very glad to see you again but we didn't want to see all of you. I think Eloise —"
"Shit," I said. My cheeks burned as I found the backpack and searched for something to dry off with as well as something to wear. Holy shit. We'd almost had sex right there in that giant, formal room. On the floor. In front of his brothers. I covered my face and almost burst into flames right there. "Oh my God."
Atticus scowled at his brothers, though the fierceness of his expression was lost as he wobbled and caught himself on a table. "And now you made her feel bad. Thanks, dick."
"Nothing to be embarrassed about," Logan said, still fighting a grin. He cleared his throat and tried to compose himself. "Really, Sophia. Between the excitement of a shift and the adrenaline of defending your mate, it's totally to be expected that you would want to — celebrate."