East Down South

by Eliza Freer

  Paul takes the phone to delete the video and Amayra takes a step forward to grab it back, when Blake sees her and holds her off. “What the hell are you doing here?” Blake spins to look at me. “What is she doing here, East?”

  I look at Wilder before answering Blake’s question. Wilder takes a step towards me, hand outstretched. “East…”

  Riley puts his hand in front of me. “Stop. Right. There.” Wilder pauses and Riley steps too close to Wilder. He says in a low voice. “I heard what you said to her. You don’t get to touch her. If it were up to me you’d never touch her again, but, see, I respect and love her, so I trust her and her decisions.” He stares directly down into Wilder’s eyes. “You clearly can’t say the same.” Riley turns and walks back to my side wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Because to me you seem like a coward.”

  I put my hand on Riley’s arm and I hear a deep intake of breath coming from Paul. “What the…?”

  I look over at Paul and he passes me Amayra’s phone. “East. Why does she have this? The hell did this come from?”

  I grab the phone with shaking hands. Blake leans into me and sees what I’m looking at. “What the hell is that?” Blake stares down Amayra with a withering stare. “What. The. Hell. Is. That. On. Your. Phone. You. Crazy. Bitch?”

  I can hardly swallow past the giant lump in my throat. My whole body is shaking at this point and it’s taking both Blake and Riley to hold me up. I look up at Riley to my left. He frowns and shakes his head. He’s the only one who knows what this picture is.

  I take a deep breath. “Well, Blake. She is here because the psychopath is Wilder’s friend. She also claims to be yours too, by the way. Yet, apparently, I’m the irrational, unhinged one and we’ve all discounted any stalker behavior she might have. Also, I’m not to be believed that she’s trying to ruin me with all these stupid rumors about how I’m sleeping with all of you because I don’t have any proof.” I let out a loud shuttery laugh. “Irony, right, Red?”

  Wilder looks confused and tilts his head towards the phone in my hand. “What’s on there? What’s irony?”

  I look over to Kyle who looks completely stricken by everything that’s happened. I’m hoping he’s got a solid level of disgust with his best friend, but know he’s probably not entirely thrilled by my part in tonight’s little show. “I’m sorry, Kyle. I didn’t mean to ruin your party. We’ll be leaving shortly.”

  I walk up to Wilder who takes a step towards me. Riley steps up behind me, which is nice, but unnecessary. I turn and put my hand on Riley’s chest. “I’m okay, Ry.” I step right into Wilder’s space. “Irony, in this instance, is that Amayra here was hoping to do more damage to me tonight by taping our little skirmish. But, the IRONY is that while she was trying to hurt me more, she hurt herself instead. Wanting too much bad press. When Simon took the phone away and tried to delete the video he found this gem. Which, had we not fought, and had she not been trying to paparazzi this moment, I never would’ve known she had this. She would’ve been able to release it and bring back my nightmares from three years ago, but she got caught because she’s blackmail greedy.”

  I hear Paul behind me. “Yep. According to the dictionary that’s pretty textbook irony. An event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects. Usually it’s humorous though.”

  I let myself slip a small smile and turn to face Paul. “Thanks, P.” I twist back towards Wilder and hold the phone up in front of his face. Kyle at some point moved towards Wilder and is standing by his side. I lower my voice so only he and Kyle can hear me. “This was taken about three years ago when my last asshole boyfriend took a picture of us having sex. You might remember a story I was telling you where a fifteen year old girl in Ohio was crushed because she thought she was loved and turns out she wasn’t. Turns out she was never the real prize, but was sure fun to have.” I let that sink in with both of them. “I sure know how to pick ‘em, right?”

  Riley puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me back. “Can we go now, please?” He takes the phone from my hand and puts it in his pocket. “We’ll be keeping this. We know the Dean. I’m sure he’ll have some thoughts.”

  I look at Amayra’s face and she pales. “Happy?”

  Amayra shakes her head and starts to leave when Wilder grabs her by the arm. “Why do you have that? Where the hell did you get that from?”

  The hard glint returns to Amayra’s eyes. “You can find anything if you look hard enough.”

  I choke out a laugh. “Really? And I was worth all that effort? I mean fuck me, get a life. And choose one of your many personalities while you’re at it. Also, I’d say a new career path and university because once we’re all done with you, you sure as hell won’t be here anymore.”

  Amayra runs out the door and Wilder steps towards me. “East, I’m so…”

  I hold up a hand and cut him off before Blake can push him away. “No. Just. No. It’s too much, really. Too much. Even if I were a super forgiving person, and I wish to God I were, there might have been just too many things tonight to forgive and forget.” I let the first tears fall. Now that the adrenaline is subsiding, and my sadness and anger are all that’s left, I feel pretty exhausted and defeated.

  Blake puts his hand up to stop Wilder’s hands from brushing aside my tears. “Don’t.”

  I pat Blake’s arm and take another step towards Wilder. “I am glad that you believe me now. But what is gutting me right now, and is so suffocating, is that it took me showing you a photo of the girl I used to be before someone crushed me, for you to believe me. You couldn’t just trust me. Not even for a minute.” I wipe away some of my tears and swallow the rest. “I think we’re done here.”

  I turn around and grab my purse from beside his couch. We all start filing out of the house with Blake and Riley each at my side with their arms wrapped protectively around my shoulders. I feel someone grab my waist and try to pull me back.

  “East, please. Look, I know we said a lot of things…” Wilder starts to beg before Riley rips Wilder’s arm from around my waist. It looks like he’s about to break Wilder’s arm so I step in and put my hand to Riley’s chest.

  “Ry, it’s not worth it.” I put my hand on his face to get him to look at me and not at Wilder, who he looks like he could kill. “Hey, let’s just go. Not worth it. I promise.” Riley spins around and joins me and Blake as we all head toward Paul’s SUV parked at the curb.

  I turn around one last time and look at Wilder who looks pretty defeated at this point. I steel myself and end the torture. “I think that’s probably it, right?” Wilder doesn’t say anything, he just shakes his head. “Right. Well. Goodbye, Wilder.”

  And with that cliche break-up line, I let the boys fold me into the car and speed me away from the second most devastating moment of my young life.

  Chapter 23

  For a few seconds it’s total silence in the car. Then I look up and notice all the boys looking at each other.

  Paul speaks up first. “MC?”

  Simon nods. “Hammertime.”

  Blake glances over at Riley. It’s a very crowded back seat. “Down?”

  Riley nods. “Down.”

  I furrow my brows together. “That wasn’t a conversation. You all know that right?”

  Paul chuckles. “Oh, but it was. Just calm that pretty head of yours. We’ll be to our destination shortly.”

  I take in a deep breath. “Maybe you guys can just take me home. I don’t know that I’m down for Tony’s party tonight.”

  Blake shakes his head. “Oh, no. We’re definitely not taking you home. Granted, we’re not going to Tony’s party right this second, but I still think you might change your mind in an hour. Give or take.”

  Simon pulls out his phone. “I’m texting Tony. Telling him we’ll be a little late.”

  I huff out a breath. While I’m glad the guys aren’t rehashing what just happened, which is probably the only thing keeping my tears at bay, I wish they’d stop making decisions for me.
I’m all fought out though, so I just let it go and scrunch back farther into the seat and the comfort of Blake and Riley’s arms.

  Simon chuckles. “Tony’s response. ‘Whatever mofos. As long as you bring East, I don’t care.’” Simon spins to face me. “So, see. You’re going. It’s all the birthday boy really wants, and we all know a man’s needs supersede a woman’s every time.”

  I smile. “If I didn’t know you weren’t an asshole I’d be backhanding you right now.”

  Riley squeezes my shoulder. “Just hold the hitting thoughts for a few more minutes.”

  I look up at him and realize we’ve pulled into the stadium parking lot. The guys pour out of the car as soon as it’s parked and lead us into the player entrance. We weave our way through the maze of hallways until we come to the player gym. The boys usher me inside and lead me to a kickboxing bag. I spin around when Paul hands me a pair of boxing gloves, and furrow my brows in confusion as Blake helps me put them on.

  “Now, East. When any of us get super, a lot of times violently, upset and can’t leave it out on the field, we come in here and pound on this guy here. We’ve named him MC, and angry hitting him is called Hammertime.” Blake steps back after the gloves are on and laced.

  “MC? Hammertime? I’d give you crap for how ridiculous that is, but it’s kinda cute.” I smile at the guys. Even if it’s a super lame thing to name an object and an activity, the fact they’re trying to make me feel better warms my cold, dying heart.

  Riley spins me back around towards the bag. “Now, we’re all going to sit over here on the benches and you get to pound the hell out of this thing for as long as you want. It’s a personal thing, so you think about whatever it is you need to think about to get rid of that repressed anger. It’s not good for you to carry that around, and I refuse to let tonight fill your heart with poison.” He wraps his arms around me and drops his chin to my shoulder. “We all love you too much for that. Now. Hit!”

  I hear the guys move towards the benches, and focus solely on the bag in front of me. I don’t have to do much recalling, as the words and events of the night are on constant replay in my mind. I throw my first punch thinking about Wilder accusing me of being irrational. I throw my second seeing Amayra’s face looking smug and fake as Wilder takes her side. I throw my third as Wilder moves towards Amayra. I lose track of all the moments and reasons I’m throwing punches, but the last one is my strongest and my weakest. My last one is the memory of Wilder shouting that at least he knows who his dad is. With that punch I feel my heart break again and it’s too much.

  I crumble to the floor and cry. “Goddamnit.” I lay down on the floor and feel the tears stream down my face. I can feel the guys watching me, but they don’t make a move towards me. I appreciate that. I need this moment for myself. “Sorry you had to see that tonight. Sorry you had to intervene. Sorry you get trapped in some ridiculous drama because I’m a recurring character in your lives.”

  Blake speaks up first. “Cut that out. Actually, it felt insanely good to put that chick in her place, and that douche you were dating too. You don’t deserve that, and they don’t deserve you. I don’t know if you know this about us, but we all have white knight complexes. We really like swooping in. We don’t get that opportunity much with you.” Blake walks over and holds his hand out to help me up. “And, it’s the least I can do since you did that for me last time.”

  I take his hand and let him help me up. While we walk back to the benches, he takes off my gloves and tosses them aside. I drop my head into my hands and lean down on my knees. “Yeah, well. I don’t like being a damsel. But, I guess at least one positive came out of tonight.”

  The guys are all silent for a minute before Simon speaks up. “East, what was that picture?”

  I suck in a deep breath and look at Riley. He gives me a small nod. “Um. It’s a longer story.”

  Riley moves beside me on the bench and puts his hand on my back. “They’re on your side too. You can trust them with this.”

  Paul looks confused and points at Riley. “Wait, you know? Why do you know and we don’t?”

  Blake smacks the back of Paul’s head. “Because, clearly this is a hard story for East and she can tell who she wants to. Now, shut up or I’ll make you leave before she tells it.”

  I smile. “To nutshell it, that was taken when I lived in Ohio. I had this boyfriend who wanted to go to OSU, and was drilling down hard on my dad to get him recruited. Dad did as much as he could, giving him advice, introducing him to some players, but it just wasn’t enough for Cade. He and his dad decided if they couldn’t talk Dad into it by just being overzealous bullies, they’d try and blackmail him. Cade was my first. Somehow, someone took that picture of us having sex. I didn’t know about it until his dad threatened my dad with it. Something about looking out for my future.”

  Blake’s hands clench into fists. “You’ve got to be kidding me. What kind of man…I mean…Jesus.”

  Riley silences him with a look. “Stop. Save the outrage for later.”

  I smile at the guys. “So, since I was underage it was basically child pornography so Dad got some lawyers to kill it. Cade got all pissed and sent it to every guy in his phone book. Then I became the school slut. Jersey chasing whore. Those rumors were started by Cade, since those are the things he started calling me to my face. I couldn’t get away from it, it was everywhere. Hamilton had been trying to get Dad to come here and coach anyway, so Dad accepted the offer and I finished my sophomore year here in Texas. I heard the picture was wiped from as many places as possible, but when something’s digital it’s never really gone.”

  Simon shakes his head with anger. “Does he play? Can we kill him? Tackling isn’t even my job but I’ll do it.”

  Riley clenches his jaw as his hand moves in circles on my back. “I asked the same thing. She said he never went anywhere cause this followed him around. Serves him right.”

  I take a deep breath and look at all their faces. “So, that’s it. That’s what the picture is, that’s where it came from, and that’s got everything to do with all my issues now.”

  Paul comes and sits on the other side of me. “I like you and all your issues.”

  I laugh and lay my head on his shoulder. “Thanks, Paulette.”

  Blake clears his throat. “Can I ask you one more?”

  I nod. “Shoot.”

  Blake squeezes his hands together so tightly his knuckles whiten. “What did he mean when he said at least he knows who his dad is? I don’t get it. Coach is your dad. Isn’t he?”

  I nod. “In every way that matters. He saved me. My mom, she met Sam when she was already pregnant. No idea who my bio dad is. Sam and Mom were engaged when I was born, all committed up and stuff. So Mom gives birth, Sam goes to call people, they take me away to clean me up, and next thing you know Sam comes back to Mom’s room and she’s gone. Left a note at least. Basically just said ‘can’t do this.’ So, since I had no biological ties to Sam, he pulled whatever strings he had and kinda immediately adopted me. I don’t know how that works. Probably helped he was engaged to my mom so they were committed and he was going to be my dad anyway. So he took me and raised me as his. He’s the only parent I’ve ever known. The only parent I’ve ever needed. Sam is my dad. Biologically, maybe not, but he’s my dad.” I take a deep breath in and let some tears fall. “He saved me.”

  Blake moves from his bench and crouches down in front of me. He lays his hands on my knees. “And I’m sure he’s never regretted it for a second. Man, if I didn’t respect Coach before I sure as hell do now.”

  “Glad to hear it, son.”

  We all turn and notice my dad standing in front of the doors leading to the gym. I don’t think he was there when I told the Ohio story, but I’m sure he was while I told about my adoption.

  Dad walks towards me. “He’s right, East. You are absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Your mother, she’s a fool. She doesn’t deserve you, hell she didn’t deserve me, but
she gave me you.”

  I snort. “You mean she LEFT me with you.”

  Dad glares at me. “Semantics. Now, move over.”

  Paul moves away so my dad can sit beside me. I turn and wrap my arms around him and let myself cry. He shushes me and tells me it’ll be okay while he rubs my back until I calm down.

  Dad pulls back and holds my head in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You and me, kiddo. We were fated. You were always mine. Always gonna be mine. I love you more than I knew I could love anything. You’re what makes my life worth it.”

  I furrow my brow at that statement. Dad chuckles. “Not that I was going to kill myself or anything, but you know what I’m trying to say. My world is absolutely whole because you’re in it.” Dad brushes hair away from my face. “Now, can you tell me what happened tonight to bring on this confession session with these boys and that punching bag?”

  I sigh deeply and tell Dad the good, bad and ugly of Wilder’s and my fight tonight. I tell him all about the rumors and the gossip and the stalker. I tell him about the video and finding the picture and Riley having her phone. I tell him everything I should’ve already told him but was hoping I wouldn’t have to.

  Dad grips the bench in a barely contained fury. “Riley, you still have that girl’s phone?”

  Riley hands it over. “Yeah. Paul thought ahead and turned off her passcode so we don’t need it to unlock the phone and show the Dean.”

  Dad nods and grabs the phone from Riley. “Good thinking. I’ll make sure this gets into the right hands. The Dean and I need to have words.” Dad stands. “Now, I know there have been a lot of emotions and heavy things happening tonight, and I would never encourage any of you to go and get my daughter drunk, but if you were to take her to Tony’s birthday, and if she were to get a drink, I might overlook that for tonight. I think if anyone needs one, she does.”

  Dad glares at each of the guys as he gives that speech. “But I will deny that if anyone ever asks, and I said one. Not more than one. I give you permission for one. Don’t disappoint me.” Dad leans down and kisses me on the cheek. “Not you. You could never disappoint me.”