Warriors of Phaeton: Paine and Rowe

by Leora Gonzales

  After that first night, she’d only slept a handful of hours. If not for the nightmares, their routine would have been perfect. Their nights always started with her between them, physically sated, her mind cleared by the orgasm they’d given her with their hands or mouths. Every encounter made her fall deeper and deeper into believing that this was where she belonged.

  Then, every single evening, she drifted off in their arms. Cuddled between them, she’d feel hope that the security they gave her would be enough that her body would give in and stay asleep…

  That never happened. Like clockwork, she’d wake up before their empty spots had cooled. No matter how much she’d tried to break the consistency of it, she failed. The insomnia made her brain fuzzy, which made her more than a little irritable. She flip-flopped between anger and sadness and was tired of her own miserable company.

  As far as she knew, she’d been able to hide the fact that she wasn’t really sleeping. It wasn’t easy, considering how exhausted she was, but she hadn’t wanted to let either of them know what was going on. It was embarrassing and she didn’t see a way they could help. Everything she was struggling with was in her head. Her nightmares weren’t a bad guy that Paine and Rowe could face head on. The issues were all mental, which meant she’d be better working through these problems alone. The last thing she wanted was to give them more to worry about.

  She must have been a better actress than she originally thought because her men carried on like everything was normal. They tried to show her around, introduce her to their friends and such, but every suggestion the guys had tossed out she had shot down like a professional sharpshooter. She didn’t want to talk. She didn’t want to play card games or read magazines. She didn’t want to walk around the ship. She didn’t want to watch videos or movies. She didn’t want to meet their friends, and she sure as hell didn’t want to be around any of the other brides. Indigo knew it was an asshole move, but it was more about self-preservation than anything.

  She was just so tired, and they were just too awake for her to handle. Instead, she stayed in their apartment and pretended to sleep, slowly going insane while giving the illusion that everything was okay.

  When it wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.

  Knuckling away the tear that slipped out of the corner of her eye, Indigo sniffed.

  “You’re too tired for a pity party, Indy,” she said, figuring a pep talk wouldn’t hurt. “Shut your eyes and go the fuck to sleep.”

  She was about to try counting Avengers again—because sheep were boring and superheroes were not—when she heard the door in the living room beep.

  Beeps, buzzes, and blinking lights seemed to be her new life now. The strange tone wasn’t a doorbell but more of a warning that the door was about to open.

  Rolling off the bed, she stomped out of the room and into the main space. Her heavy steps were a product of her tired body and poor mood. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall and waited to see if it was one or both of her guys coming home from their shift.

  When nothing happened, Indigo frowned. Normally, the door would beep, a few seconds would pass, and it would slide open. This time it stayed shut, the panel next to it blinking multicolored lights where the screen illuminated strange symbols. Since she hadn’t ventured out on her own, Indigo had no idea how the door actually worked. There was no handle or obvious way to trigger it, just a panel next to it that lit up with shit she couldn’t read.

  It was yet another thing she was trying to adapt to. She was still trying to get used to the overabundance of technology that surrounded her on Phaeton One. Shiny silver LEDs seemed to be blinking no matter which direction she looked, and it was overwhelming. Considering she’d spent the last month in an underground tunnel city wearing furs and leather, the differences between the two were so jarring it practically gave her whiplash.

  “Why aren’t you opening?” she asked aloud before walking towards the door.

  She didn’t have the first clue on what she planned on doing, but staring at it from the other side of the room hadn’t gotten her anywhere so…

  “Gah!” she jumped back with a yell when the door slid open just as she was about to touch the strange controls on the wall.

  “Are you all right?” Rowe asked as he steadied her on one side, Paine taking the other.

  “Uh…” Indigo cleared her throat as she fought the need to lean into their holds. “Yeah. Of course. Sorry,” she stuttered, still a bit off balance.

  “What were you doing?” Paine asked as he looked from her to the control pad.

  “I was just trying to figure out how this stuff worked,” she said quickly. “I heard the beep, but the door didn’t open. I wasn’t sure if it was locked or something, so I was about to poke around when it slid open and scared the crap out of me.” Indigo ended with a slightly hysterical giggle.

  “Are you okay? Rowe asked, staring at her with a funny look.

  Indigo waved him off. “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You look a little—”

  “Agitated,” Paine finished, his mouth flattened into a grim line.

  Indigo pulled back with a snort. “Gee, thanks. You look great too.”

  Rowe sighed, sharing a look with Paine.

  “What?” she snapped, turning on her heel to walk back into the bedroom without waiting for an answer.

  The men followed, Rowe directly behind her.

  “Where are you going, love?”

  “I’m going back to bed,” she grumbled without stopping. Indigo knew she was being a jerk but couldn’t seem to stop herself.

  “We were just coming to see if you wanted to join us—”

  “And the other brides,” Paine interrupted.

  “For lunch,” Rowe finished.

  She crawled onto the bed before he was done talking and buried her face in the pillow she’d come to hate.

  “No thanks,” she mumbled without looking at either one of the men stationed at the end of the bed. “I’m not feeling good.”

  “That’s why we want you to come.” Paine dropped down onto the bed near her feet, his weight rocking her on the mattress a bit. “The others really want to meet you, and even the docs will be there.”

  “In fact, we’d planned on having lunch with everyone in the med center.”

  Indigo froze at that bit of news. Getting together with the two doctors on board had been mentioned more than once, each instance ratcheting up her anxiety at the idea. Being introduced to them on their turf made her more than a little antsy. In fact, just the thought made her palms clammy. “Ummm, why are we having lunch there? I thought the common room was where everyone normally got together.”

  “It is, but their wife is pregnant with twins and has restrictions in place to make her pregnancy easier.” Rowe sat down, rubbing the back of her calf where her leg rested beside him.

  Indigo rolled so she was facing them, considering it didn’t look like they were about to leave her alone.

  “She will most likely be relaxing in a regen bed while she visits with everyone,” Paine added, patting her hip. “We thought it would be nice for you to meet the others.”

  “Especially Andi,” Rowe interjected.

  Indigo frowned. “Why especially Andi?” she asked, trying to keep the jealousy out of her voice and failing. Holding back a wince at the green-eyed monster she heard lurking in her words, she waited for an answer.

  “Because she’s married to both Tamin and Rodin,” he answered, giving her a smile just as tempting as his partner’s, even without the dimple.

  “Ahhhh.” Indigo was relieved to hear that bit of information. For days the men had been talking about their friends, mainly the wives that they’d grown close to since the Pact had started. They had nothing but good things to say about the women and they did so with gusto and genuine affection. And, even though she hated to admit it, the incessant gushing was wearing on her already worn nerves.

  Poppy did this. Pixie did that. B
lah, blah, blah. It had been the same thing on repeat before they’d even landed on Phaeton One, and she couldn’t take it anymore. The last thing she wanted to do was hear about how amazing the other women were when she was struggling. They sounded like some glamorous squad of awesome, funny women, and that was so far from what Indigo felt right now that it made her want to cry.

  “Hey now,” Paine whispered, his fingers tracing the tear that rolled down her cheek. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  At the sight of Indigo’s tears, Rowe felt pure panic.

  They were failing.

  She’d been theirs to care for and keep happy and they were failing. Miserably. The evidence was plain to see on her face as tears continued to leak from the corner of her eyes.

  Eyes that were ringed by exhaustion.

  Brushing his fingertips over the wet trail sneaking down her chin, he cupped her face so he could get a better look at her.

  “You haven’t been sleeping, have you?” he guessed aloud. The answer had finally come to him in that instant. Her eyes, the apparent exhaustion, it all began to add up.

  Paine shot him a confused look, prompting Rowe to gently turn Indigo’s face towards his brother to see the evidence clearly written in deep, dark circles under tired eyes.

  “How did we not see this before?” Paine asked, his tone dripping with self-disgust. “When was the last time you had more than a few hours rest?”

  Rowe ignored his partner, focused on the woman who held his heart but wouldn’t hold his gaze.

  “What are you talking about? Of course, I’m sleeping,” she argued halfheartedly, her eyes bouncing around the room. “I sleep all the time.”

  “I don’t think you do, love. In fact, it’s taking you even longer to drift off before we leave for our shifts.” Rowe looked around the bedroom they were in. “Is there something wrong with our rooms?”

  Paine blinked, his gaze searching around as well. “It can’t be too cold. The temperature here is much warmer than on Djaromir.”

  “Is it the bed? Maggie made her husband order something called a foo-tun because that was what she was used to,” Rowe asked, patting the mattress they were sitting on. “Are you just not comfortable? We can get a new one if that’s the case.”

  “You simply need to tell us what is wrong, sweetheart. We promise we’ll fix it for you.”

  Indigo shook her head sadly, looking down to avoid their eyes. “You can’t fix this.”

  Her whispered words hit him hard. What did she mean they couldn’t fix this? They could fix anything they put their mind to. Especially if it was something that posed a threat to their bride.

  “Tell us what it is,” Paine ordered, his voice firmer than he’d ever used with her. Even Rowe looked at him in surprise.

  “Please, love,” Rowe pleaded instead of commanding. She looked so fragile, he couldn’t help but take a gentler tone than his brother.

  “Okay. Fine.” She sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m having a bit of trouble sleeping. Just some bad dreams that won’t go away.”

  “How long?” Paine asked again, his tone unchanging as he questioned her.

  “Ummm…” Indigo hemmed for a moment before shrugging. “A while.”

  Rowe frowned at her lack of clarification. “Sweetheart, we can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.”

  “Back on Djaromir?” Paine put an arm over her shoulder, squeezing her close when she simply nodded.

  “Before then?”

  Indigo shook her head.

  “Is it about the kidnapping?”

  “Kind of…a little bit,” she conceded. “There’s more though.”

  “What do you mean more?”

  “I used to have nightmares like this. Before.” Sucking in a deep breath, Indigo let it out slowly. “I’d have dreams that would wake me up screaming out of a dead sleep, but they haven’t happened for a while.”

  “What were they about, sweetheart?” Paine’s voice finally gentled as he hugged her to his side.

  “The fire,” she mumbled. “They were always about the fire.”

  “Do you want to talk about them? Maybe if you talked about it, it would help?”

  “It was a long time ago.” She shrugged. “I should be over it already, right? I’m just being a baby.”

  “What? No!” Rowe jerked back, startled. “Is that why you’ve kept it hidden?”

  “Your entire family died in one night, Indigo!” Paine’s voiced increased in volume with each word that came out of his mouth. “I don’t think that is something that you will ever get over. Is that what is keeping you awake at night?”

  “I don’t—” Indigo scrubbed her face with her hands. “I don’t know, honestly. The fire part didn’t get mixed in with everything until a few weeks in.”

  “Weeks?!” both Paine and Rowe yelled at the same time.

  “Jesus, guys. Can you not scream at me?” Indigo rubbed her temples in a slow circle. “I already have a headache from hell, and it’s only getting worse.”

  “Did you just say weeks?” Paine hissed, his expression angry as he trained his gaze on Indigo.

  Rowe cleared his throat, shaking his head when Paine looked up at him.

  Don’t.

  The unspoken order was said with no more than a look, but Paine got the hint.

  “This has been happening for weeks?” Paine repeated, this time much gentler.

  “Uh-huh,” Indigo hummed as she continued to rub her head.

  “Here, let me.” Leaving his spot beside her, Rowe dropped to his knees in front of her. With careful hands, he replaced her fingers with his own, applying pressure in soothing circles.

  Almost immediately, the pinched look left her face, relaxing the lines she’d brought to the surface.

  “You have magic handsss,” Indigo murmured, her words slurring slightly.

  “Let’s lay you down, sweetheart.” Moving out of the way, Paine tugged her until she was lying on the bed in the center of the mattress. Taking over rubbing her temples, he steadied her body when Rowe climbed back onto the bed, so she was between them.

  “We have a lot to talk about, but it can wait until you’re better able to answer our questions.” Rowe said the words to Indigo, but they were for his partner as well.

  He could tell the entire situation had put Paine on edge, angry that she’d obviously hidden something so big from them. He also knew some guilt was eating away at him as well for not seeing the obvious turmoil that their bride had been going through—and still was.

  Rowe knew what Paine was feeling. He was trying to deal with the same anger and guilt. He couldn’t remember a time that he’d ever felt more ashamed by his actions—or, in this case, lack thereof.

  They were trained to notice the smallest of details yet failed when it came to their most important treasure.

  Their bride.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Indigo could hear the men talking, even though her brain was too tired to actively listen to their conversation. She wasn’t sure how long she’d slept but could tell it had been a little while, considering her head was no longer aching.

  The headaches were one of the worst side effects of her insomnia. They had become so bad she could only appease them by lying down and trying to sleep. Not that the blessed relief of sleep ever came, but that was beside the point.

  “We know you’re awake, sweetheart.”

  Indigo felt a flutter of warmth fill her chest at the endearment she’d become used to hearing. Both of the men took turns mixing them up, but it never seemed to get old. It had gotten to the point where they were referring to her as their “sweetheart” or “love” more than her given name.

  Not that she minded. She just wished she’d been clearheaded enough to think of an endearment for them too. Referring to them as Temptation One and Two was too much of a mouthful, considering how sleepy she was.

  “How did you know I was awake?” Indigo
asked without so much as cracking an eye lid.

  “Your breathing changed,” Rowe answered. “Now, are you rested enough to talk?”

  Indigo blinked a few times, clearing the sleep out of her eyes before groaning at her unkempt reflection in the mirrored ceiling.

  “Why didn’t you two tell me I looked this bad,” she groaned, turning on her side to bury her face in her arm.

  “Because you don’t,” Rowe answered, brushing her hair back even as she tried to hide from them. “You’re beautiful to us no matter what.”

  Rolling her eyes, she hid the smile on the verge of spreading across her face.

  “Tell us more about your nightmares,” Paine ordered, wiping the beginnings of her smile completely away.

  “Ugh. Seriously?” The words came out on a pained groan. All she wanted to do was pretend her problems didn’t exist for just a bit longer. As if, if she started talking about them, it would summon them somehow. Like the Candyman or Beetlejuice.

  “Yes, seriously,” Paine said, his voice firm enough to tell her that there would be no side-stepping this conversation.

  “Fine.” Pushing herself up on her elbow, Indigo looked around the room. “Is there anything to drink?”

  Rowe gave her a look that showed he was onto the fact that she was stalling, but he stood up and grabbed a bottle from the shelf in their room.

  “We’re not leaving this room until we have figured out a way to fix this,” he warned, handing it over.

  “I know,” she said with a nod.

  “Start at the beginning.”

  Indigo blinked a few times as she tried to think of where exactly the beginning fell. Taking a few sips of the water, she wet her scratchy throat, hoping that would somehow put her thoughts into an order that made sense.

  “You said you’d had nightmares before,” Rowe mentioned, his face serious as he watched her. “Explain.”

  “I had similar problems sleeping after the accident,” she started, her voice shaking as memories swamped her.

  Steeling herself to continue, Indigo knew this was going to be painful for her to tell. So far, she’d skillfully avoided any type of in-depth conversation when her men asked about her loss. The first few days they’d been together, they’d spent quite a bit of time talking. Even though they’d admitted to reading her full file, the men had still asked questions about her past and childhood. She’d managed to keep most of her answers light, until Rowe had asked about the fire.