by L. Ann Marie
I have my lemonade and look around but don't see Patches. Rich and Max aren't back yet. I'm getting nervous and walk where we were headed trying to catch up to him. I don't see him anywhere, people are everywhere. I feel tears on my face but I don't stop. I drop my lemonade and look down. I have to find him but I'm so scared. A man grabs my arm. "You’re Tess LaPonte Karr?" I tell him yes without looking at him. He pulls me along.
"Where are Rich and Patches?" I'm crying now. I need to get away from him.
"Was paid to put you in the jail. It's for a good cause." He tells me over his shoulder. I keep looking down. I don't understand. I need Max.
Patches
He's gone ten minutes and she's looking for him. Fuck I hate this feeling. I turn around and realize I moved to the side row. She must have her lemonade by now. Coming around the corner I see she's not in line. What the fuck? Maybe Rich got back and they just kept going. Looking around I don't see either. I pull my phone and text him.
I see him jogging down the drive with Max. Fuck! He doesn't stop. He points to the left. I jog the opposite side of him. He's calling for her. We're almost at the end, my heart is racing. She's not fuckin here. I yell Tess and a man calls out she's in jail.
Rich sprints to the jail they set up. Fuck!
He's yelling at the guy to open the fuckin gate. Fuck she's on the floor rocking back and forth crying silently.
"Get these fuckin handcuffs off her." He growls at the guy. "How the fuck did she end up here?
"A man paid fifty bucks to keep her for an hour. It's just a fundraiser. He pointed her out. She never said a word." Fuck
Rich looks at me. He's fuckin pissed waiting for an explanation. "She got a lemonade and I walked to a table. I didn't see her leave."
"She walked right by you?" He asks. He fuckin knows. He shakes his head. "Get your head straight Brother." He says it so low. He lifts her up and walks away with Max following.
Fuck! I need to get my fuckin head straight. Looking around I see he's walking to Danny and Kate's blanket in the field. He sits with Tess on his lap talking to her. I can't make my feet move closer. I stand against a tree watching. I fuckin screwed up big because I was pissed she asked for him. Tess moves. I watch her put her arms around him. Kate and Ben walk over. Kate sits down and hugs Tess. She talks to Rich and he stalks over to me. Ben is following.
"What the fuck is going on with you?" He asks. Thank fuck he's not yelling.
"I swear I don't know. She asked for you and I got pissed. I don't even know why."
"She asked because Larry gave her a fuckin message for me. That's not even the fuckin issue. She didn't do anything to deserve being punished. She doesn't fuckin know what the fuck is going through your head. You walked the fuck away from her when you knew I had Max. You've been acting down for two fuckin weeks now. You know better than to leave her in a crowd. Of all the worst case sceneries for her to fuckin relive it was in a jail with fuckin handcuffs on. Because you were fuckin jealous!" He wipes his hand down his face. "You're more than my brother Patch. I'm trying my hardest to make sure you are included in every fuckin thing we do. I give you your time and I'm happy you have it. I love to see you love her. I can't do this if I can't trust you to protect her. You fuckin love her as much as I do. If you won't talk to me about what the fuck is in your head you better get your fuckin ass back to the therapist. She was fuckin handcuffed Patch because you were jealous without a fuckin reason to be jealous." He walks back to her. Holy fuck. He's so fuckin right. I turn and see Ben. I forgot he was here.
"I fuckin blew it this time. I'm so fuckin stupid. Everything he said was true."
"Let's take a walk." He starts walking to the opposite field. "I felt exactly like you do right now. I wasn't sure of my place and ended up screwing up. Not as bad as you, but I did screw up. It was out of jealousy too." Fuck. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
"What did Danny do?" I ask almost afraid of the answer but he's still there so they must have worked it out.
"He fuckin took a trip to Colorado. He gave me the time I needed with Kate. At first I was pissed. He gave me time and I was pissed because it was such a fuckin good thing to do. I kept thinking, what the fuck do I have to do to be on top? I could never win."
I nod. "That's exactly how I feel. How did you fix it?"
"It was Danny that fixed it. He called one night to talk to me. He asked how everything was going. I couldn't believe he was asking. I asked if he wanted to talk to Kate he said no he wanted to talk to me and find out how everything was. I was so fuckin ashamed of myself. It was then that I got it was about all of us. The relationship was between all of us. He explained it to me but I didn't get it until then. Kate wasn't keeping score. She loved us both for our differences as much as our similarities. She likes me for my sensitivity as much as she likes Danny's ruggedness. It was a contest only in my head. Danny knew it and fixed it for me. It brought us closer together." He puts his hand on my shoulder. I stop and look at him. "Don't fuck this up because of a contest that only you see. Tess loves you. She proves it every fuckin day. Everyone around sees it but you."
"You're right. Rich has done the same thing as Danny did. I was pissed too. I need to fix this." I look over to them. She's on Rich's lap. I smile; she's laughing, so beautiful.
"You love to see him love her too. Don't forget that. He wants this as much as you do. He's fighting for you when you've lost your way Patches. You can keep fighting yourself or fight with him. She's fuckin amazing and you love her. You love him too. Fight for that." He turns and walks back toward them. He's right. I need to stop fighting myself and fight for us. I follow.
Rich
Picking her up I'm shaking. I want to fuckin kill him. I know exactly why she's in fuckin cuffs. He was jealous over something so fuckin stupid. I walk by him without a word. She's crying those fuckin silent tears. Fuck, handcuffed and put in a cell. I can't even imagine what the fuck was going through her head. I sit her on my lap and call Max to her. He calms her instantly. She's losing the blank in her eyes. Thank fuck! "I'm right here babe." I rub her back, her arms go around me and she cries. Fuckin Patches. He's got no fuckin reason to be fuckin jealous and certainly not at Tess' fuckin expense. She calms. "I'm so sorry baby. It won't happen again. I should know better than to take Max with all these people around. Next time we'll go together." She nods. Kate and Ben come over. Kate holds her right away. I tell her I took Max for a bathroom break and Tess got separated from Patches. When I tell her about the jail she's pissed. "I need to find out who paid to put her in there but I need to talk to Patches first."
"I'll call Danny and get him to find out. Go talk to Patches. He's looking a little nervous." Ben says.
I stand up muttering he should be. I hear Ben talking to Danny behind me. He's following so I don't kill him I bet. Fuckin jealous. I say my fuckin piece and walk the fuck away. He's still not getting it. There's no fuckin point in arguing alone. Back on the blanket Kate's got Tess laughing. My beautiful girl with her musical laugh makes me smile. I sit and pull her to my lap. "Just need to hold you babe." She keeps talking to Kate; she's showing the necklace she got for Ally. Kate laughs and shows her the same damn thing. They laugh, I smile. Tess will give hers to Lily.
I feel when Patches is getting closer. I turn and look at him. He's nervous and sorry. I nod to him. He sits and apologizes to Tess; he even tells her why he was in his head and not looking at her. She hugs him and tells him she loves him because he's different from me. She wouldn't like a carbon copy. Fuckin Tess. I smile that he's relieved. He looks at me and apologizes. I throw him chin. He looks like the weight of the world is lifted off his shoulders. I look at him and scream 'together' in my head. He smiles and nods. Fuckin Patches. Kate watches with a smile.
Dad finds us all at the blanket. He has Aaron, Devan and Alex. The others are with Ben. "No clue who paid. Guy that took the money is gone. The replacement is here until the end. He didn't put her in." Fuck! He looks concerned. "Ben was trying to trac
k a name down but not having any luck." Who the fuck would give her name knowing what she's been through? This is not a joke kind of thing. This is fuckin mean and could have scarred her setting her back. Dad knows.
Thirty Eight
Tess
I'm sitting on the ice laughing hysterically. Patches is trying to lift me up but I can't stop laughing. I'm a terrible ice skater. Once I calm down and my butt is freezing Patches lifts me. I feel like a cartoon with my feet scissoring between his legs. He gets me straight with a smile. I try again with his hand. I'm not letting go this time. He's skating backwards guiding me. "You're so good you make me jealous. I want to skate like you. I'm starting to sound like the 'I want to be like Mike' commercials." I laugh.
"What do you mean?" He asks as he turns so effortlessly. Damn the man.
"I wanted to be important like you. I wanted a name badge like you and I wanted to do Little Sisters like you do Little Brothers. It's kind of weird that I want to be Patches when I grow up." I crack up and fall on my butt hitting his skate. He cracks up and falls with me.
"I haven't fallen on the ice in fuckin years Tess. Leave it to you to give me my first, did it have to be on the ice. Fuck ass hurts now." I laugh harder. He gets up and pulls me with him. "You did say all those things. I should have paid attention. Thank you baby." He kisses me then grabs me by the waist so I don't fall again.
"I love you Patches but my butt is sore, I'm freezing and my face hurts from laughing."
He smiles. "Let's get to Max and get you out of here. We'll get hot chocolate to warm you up."
"Sounds perfect." He pulls me to the side where Max is waiting. He wags his tail as we get close. I fall on the edge and crack up. Max licks my whole face making it colder. Patches laughs pulling me up.
We get our hot chocolate and sit in the truck with the heat blasting. Patches put Max in the back with the window cracked. We spend an hour talking about nothing and laughing about everything. "I had such a good time tonight Patches. I'm so glad we did this together."
He smiles that big Patches smile. "I'm glad too. Rich would have taken you but he knows I love to skate."
I crack up. "You didn't get to do much tonight. Somehow I don't think Rich would have been laughing if his butt hit the ice."
He laughs, "I think you might be right there. He probably wouldn't have fallen though."
I smile at him. "I'm glad you're here then. I was happy to see you fall." I laugh at his expression. "I didn't feel so inept." He laughs with me.
"It takes time to learn. We can get rollerblades for when it's not cold. When you get back on the ice you'll be much better than tonight."
"I want rollerblades then. I need all the practice I can get so I can graduate and skate like a five year old next year." He cracks up pulling me to him. He kisses me until the glass fogs up. Someone taps on the window.
"What the hell?" He opens the window to a cop. I crack up again. Patches turns the lights on and drives away embarrassed. I can't stop laughing. Halfway home he's laughing with me. We take Max for a walk and go inside. Rich isn't home. I think Patches is relieved. He takes me to the shower; instead of washing me he makes love to me up against the wall. I love it and tell him so. The water turns cold and he pulls me out laughing.
"I don't think I've ever laughed so much. Thank you for tonight Patches." I kiss him then yawn.
He dries us and carries me to bed. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.
Patches
I watch her sleep. She's so pretty. I can't believe she's ours. I've been such a fool missing everything that was right in front of me. She has always seen me as important right from the beginning. Rich is so fuckin smart. He's just like Danny; always putting Tess and me first. He doesn't need the same things I do. Tess doesn't need two Rich's she needs me; I chuckle, even if it is for comic relief. I had so much fun tonight. I love her so much and want her to smile and laugh every fuckin day just like she did tonight.
I hear the door and Rich coming up the stairs.
"Hey Patch. Did you guys have fun?" He asks, he already knows. He's smiling.
"Yeah. We had a blast, well except my ass hitting the ice. The rest was a riot though. Her ass will be bruised tomorrow." I smile looking at her.
"It was good for you too?" He's asking if I'm ok. Fuckin Rich.
"It was great Brother. You were right, we need this time. I feel better than I have in weeks." I look at him.
He's got the biggest fuckin smile. "Good. That's real good." I can feel him being happy for me.
"Feels good, thanks Brother." I tell him. He throws me chin and goes into the bathroom.
I hear the shower go on and think 'oh shit'. I hear him laugh, "Fuckin Patches."
I crack up. What a fuckin awesome night.
Thirty Nine
One month
Rich
For the first time I'm chomping at the bit to get out of work. Pres worked out the problem with the Outlaws. Janelle is gone now that Tess is able to control her dreams better, I know they're visions but she calls them dreams so I do too. Janelle left Sally and Danny as gate keepers for Tess. I think it's perfect. Patches is so fuckin happy I'm surprised he's not floating instead of walking. Tess is loving her jobs and Jess loves her. She's teaching her more every time she shows up. I have a feeling she likes numbers more than she's saying but she's happy with her life so I'll wait for her to say something. The kids are doing great. Jessie, Darren and Little Ben watch out for Tess like she's one of the Little Brothers. Best of all, I finished this hellish week of training. Fuckin Casper needs to hire competent people. The morons that I get stuck with are draining. I've got one hour then we're off to New York. I can't fuckin wait. The one thing that's bugging me is the jail at the muster. We never found anyone to ask about who paid to put Tess in jail. Ben is still pissed about it.
VP comes in. I've been at the screens for two hours. When I see him I almost groan out loud. "VP."
"Need you to hear me out." He looks to see if I'm paying attention. Fuck! He smiles. Fuck, I need to watch it around him. "Got a position for Officer. All the fuckin firemen are pushin our numbers up. Need someone to keep the fuckin associates straight. Got you and Patches. Casper is stepping down. Need to fill for him too. Told Pres you'd say Patches first then you for Casper. Yeah?" Fuck me. Officers.
"Yeah. I'd rather him first. I don't mind waiting." I'm stunned. Fuckin Officers?
"Knew you'd put him first. He'd be able to make a fuckin list. Casper is inner circle, Security falls in there. Fits you better, not advertised like that. Patches wouldn't know different." Thank fuck! He just got back up.
"Thought the same thing." He smiles. Fuckin VP. I laugh at his expression.
"We're in New York this weekend, we'll miss church." I don't want to come back early.
"Church is Monday night. Yeah?"
Fuck, they changed for us? "Yeah, we'll be here."
"Good. Get the fuck outta here. Your girl is out front waitin. Jess dropped her." Fuck yah!
"Thanks VP!" I say running out the door. I hear him laughing. So fuckin what.
I run out the door and see Tess and Max waiting by my truck. Fuck I'm a lucky bastard. I smile as I jog over to her. I lift her up and kiss her like I haven't seen her in a week. She laughs when I put her down. "I love coming to your work." I laugh with her. She's fuckin cute and I love her quick wit.
I put my wife and her dog in the truck and get to the house speeding the whole fuckin way. She just laughs. Fuckin cops are too fuckin lazy to give me a ticket. Patches is waiting. "Did you both know VP let me go?" I ask Patches while loading our bags and one of Max's beds.
"Ben called him. Did he talk to you about replacing Casper in a couple of months?" He asks nervous.
I smile, Ben talked to him. "Told me you’re our new Officer working for the Associates. Fuckin nice Brother." I give him a man hug. "I think it's perfect for you."
"You're not pissed?" He's still unsure, my fuckin Brother.
"
Patch, I couldn't be fuckin happier. You deserve this; they couldn't have picked a better man for the job. It is so you Brother. Don't add stress to a fuckin gift like this. You would do a fuck of a lot better than I would with the new guys. The day you become an Officer is a fuckin day like no other. I'm fuckin proud of you Patch. Be proud with me." He smiles and I know he's proud. 'Just like that Brother. Fuckin proud.' I say in my head. He nods. 'Love my Brother.' He slaps my back and we get in. No need for tampons here.
Tess is bouncing. She's so fuckin cute after an hour she falls asleep. I tell Patches about the morons in the PD. Casper can't seem to get rid of them. Half of them failed training. They didn't even try. I hope he can get them out now they failed. We park at the hotel and wake Tess up. She's amazed at the buildings. Max sticks close to her. Fuck I didn't even think about how her dreams would be affected in a place like this. Patches looks at me, he got it. I started working with Steve sending and catching our thoughts then blocking them. I like that Patches can catch them from me. I think it makes us closer.
Once in our room Max relaxes. "Tess we didn't think about how you were going to be affected here. We can go somewhere with less people, where you'd be more comfortable." Patches agrees.
"Can we stay for one day? I really want to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island." She looks sad. Fuck we didn't think this through.
"We can. Do you want to see it today before it gets dark or tomorrow?" Patches asks putting his arms around her.
"Tomorrow. I'd like to see Time Square tonight. They have a Forest Gump Store and M&M's and Disney." She's so fuckin serious I crack up.
"Anything you want baby. Tomorrow we can go to Newport if you want. It has mansions and beautiful views with a lot less people." Patches says with a smile, he's trying not to laugh.