by Marilyn Grey
He struggled to stand while I dashed outside and down the street. Out of breath, I ran into a twenty-four hour mini-mart and begged the man to call the cops.
He did.
When they finally arrived I explained everything. They escorted me back to the apartment, but Perv was gone, so they went up to question Zoe instead. I waited in the living room until they convinced her to go to the hospital. She hung her head as she left with two cops who told me it was her brother, Jayden, and to keep an eye out for him and call 911 if I saw him again.
I locked the door behind them, crossed my arms over my chest, and looked around the dark room with only one little thing on my mind.
I needed a new phone.
Pronto.
Chapter 32
Han and Brooke got to work on my designs while I stopped to get a new phone. I knew exactly what I wanted, being a bit of an Apple snob, so the decision was easy until the guy showed me a newer model.
"Will I need to pay full price?" I said while holding the sleek new gadget in my hand.
He smiled and nudged my elbow with his. "I think I can work out a discount. Come on over here."
I followed him to a desk and waited while he clicked a few things, asked a few questions, and clicked a few more things.
He looked up and smiled. "Lucky you, I'm a manager here and just got you an early upgrade."
"Okay ... so, what's the total price?"
"I can get it down to $299 for you."
"That's fine. Thank you. Hey, um, is there anyway I can access the information from my old phone?"
"If you activate your new phone and connect to iTunes it should restore everything." He winked. "Anything else you need today? A glass protector? A case? Any extra cables?"
I shook my head. "I'm good, I think. Thanks."
"No problem." He clicked around again. "Silver, gold, or gray?"
"Ooh. Options now."
He laughed. "I'm guessing you're a silver kinda girl."
"You guessed right." Can we say weird?
He handed me a box and I handed him my card. "Jane Austen?" he said. "Really?"
"Yup." I nodded. "Really."
"Really? Is ... hey ..."
"No, not that Jane Austen. Obviously. But yes, Jane Austen is my name. There are approximately a hundred and seventy two people in the U.S. with the same name, so it's not that unusual, but I'm thankful you know ... because it's who I am. It's my name. It's me."
"No, no," he stammered. "No, it's nice. I like it."
"I didn't embarrass you, did I?"
He smiled. "No. It would take a lot to embarrass me." He handed me my card. "So, maybe you would like to go—"
"I'm sorry"—I looked at his name tag—"Greg. Look, I'm just not interested in dating right now. Or ... maybe ... ever."
"Ever? Wow. Bad history or something?"
"Not much of a history. I don't know if I'm even interested in a history. Why do people date so many people? Can't you tell right away whether someone is right for you or not? And if so, what's the point in dating someone if they aren't right for you?" I shook my head. "And here I am talking to a stranger about my personal life." I took the bag with my new phone. "So, on that note, I'll just be going then."
"I think the point"—he tapped the counter with a pen—"is just to have fun, enjoy life."
"Mm. Yeah. And dating a bunch of people is what you call enjoying life?"
"Whoa." He held up his hands. "Don't shoot the messenger."
I laughed. "You're not the messenger. It's your opinion that you gave."
"Yeah." He laughed.
I leaned in and whispered, "I've loved one guy in my life and honestly, so far he's the only one who deserves my heart and he doesn't want it. Dating," I said louder, "is not my idea of fun. For me, fun is owning my own fashion line, living my dreams, and maybe one day I'll have a partner to live those dreams with me, but right now ... I just want to do something right. I don't want to give up. A challenge. That's fun to me."
"Dating can be a challenge too." He raised his eyebrows. "Want me to show you?"
We turned to his employees on the other side of the desk, staring at us. I waved. He smiled.
"Well, that was interesting," I said. "I really should go now. Good luck with ... everything."
"You too, Jane." He waved shyly. "Thanks."
I walked out of there with my head held high. It felt good to vent, even if it was to a complete stranger who had my phone number right in front of his face right now.
That's okay though. It inspired me to have fun. To enjoy everything I did, no matter what. To get back to work and make things happen.
So I did just that.
When I got back to the shop, I even let Han and Brooke choose music to play. And we played it. Loud. Dancing in between sewing runs. They sang along and I tried, although I didn't know any of the words. We laughed so hard my cheeks and abs hurt and I loved every second of it.
Then I saw him at the back of the shop behind a rack of my old line of clothes, my rejected line. Time stopped for a second. His eyes brightened when he smiled. I smiled back. I missed him.
"Han," I said, nodding behind her. "Someone is here to see you."
She turned and smiled, then rushed over to him. He picked her up and swung her around. Like he did to me so many times in the past. But it was okay. I loved him. A lot. And when you love someone you want them to be happy, even if that means being with someone else. I wanted that for him. I really did.
They disappeared out back and after a while Han came back in alone.
"Donovan would like to see you," she said as she sat back down.
I meandered outside and found him leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
"Jazz, what happened with Zoe? Is she okay?"
"She's fine. They found her brother." I stood beside him, my back against the wall too. "Poor girl."
"I'm glad you took care of her. Like a real life Batman."
"Right. I actually thought about that." I laughed and looked off into the distance. Anywhere but his eyes.
"I don't want this to be weird between us," he said. "And I want you to talk to Alistair. He may not be the one you marry, but he cared about you."
"Did you guys talk about me?"
"Of course." He touched my arm. "You're avoiding eye contact with me."
I turned my face toward him. "How's this for ya?"
"Better."
"I lost my phone. No way of contacting Mr. Alistair."
"He's gotta be online somewhere."
"Maybe. I looked. Can't find him anywhere."
We stood there quietly for a while. Silence leaned a little more awkward than comfortable this time, but maybe it would pass soon. Maybe all of this would pass.
"I should—"
"Yeah." He walked toward his car. "I'll see ya later, Jazz. Let me know when you need help with the store."
I almost stayed to watch him walk away, but walked inside instead. Maybe it was just me, but our friendship changed. Into a normal friendship. Like Autumn and me.
I went back to my sewing machine and we kept going with our sewing dance party until we slowed down. At midnight I asked them if they wanted to stop, but they both decided to stay. An hour later we were all exhausted.
"You guys are amazing," I said. "How about you stay the night? It's too late to drive."
"Oh, no," Han said. "I do not want to intrude."
"It's good," I said. "If you drive home right now Donovan will kill me."
"He's really into you," Brooke said. "Are you guys a couple now or what?"
"It's difficult situation." Han sighed. "My family wants me to marry someone else. They are very upset about it."
"Shouldn't you be able to do what makes you happy?" Brooke said.
"My family is very important to me," she said. "But Donovan is..." She blushed. "He's very sweet man. He's definitely big part of my heart."
"I love your accent," I said. "Your English is so go
od for only learning recently."
"Thank you."
"Han, Donovan is a sweet guy who will love you until the day you die. If you think it's right, just tell your parents that you respect them, but you need to follow your heart."
"Very difficult," she said. "My family ... very conservative. Very important to them."
"Don't let him go." I held her hand and squeezed. "He loves you. And he's worth it."
She smiled. "Thank you very much. I like him a lot."
"Okay, girls. Let's go to bed. We can have breakfast and get to it again tomorrow."
Chapter 33
Brooke, Han, Zoe, and I cooked breakfast in pajamas while laughing and talking. Zoe made eggs. Han made toast. Brooke made home fries. And I whipped up some pancakes. It was a crowded kitchen, but fun.
"Have you talked to your parents?" Brooke asked Zoe.
She shook her head. "They love my brother and they'll just blame me. It's not worth it."
"How long has he been like that?" I said. "Has he always abused you?"
"Some stuff happened when I was a kid," she said. "But it got worse when he started doing drugs and drinking. My parents don't believe me though. They think he's perfect and if they happen to find pot in his room they punish me for planting it there."
"Do you smoke pot?"
"Used to. Stopped though."
"But they still thought it was you?"
"They just believe whatever my brother says."
"Looks like the home fries are done," Brooke said as she pulled a potato-filled cast iron pan out of the oven. "How's everything else?"
We all nodded and set the table. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Han. Never in my life was I the jealous type, but she was so petite and pretty and the way she glided around the kitchen reminded me of some kind of angelic dance. She never laughed super loud, like I did. It was always this soft whimper-like laugh that barely opened her mouth, but she had charm. Tons of it.
Honestly, I could not have imagined anyone better for Donovan. At all.
I loved Brooke and Zoe too. Each in their own way, they brought something new to my life. A year ago, or even months, I would never had imagined sitting in my own place with such a diverse group of girls. I never had many girl friends and Autumn was with boys and her other friends so much that we didn't spend day and night together. She's a true social butterfly. Cheerleader. Complete opposite of me in a lot of ways. So most of the time I was with Donovan, but I wasn't a tomboy. Not totally at least. Just never connected with people like I did with Don.
These girls I definitely connected with though. Even amidst our differences.
I smiled as I looked around the table, toast dangling from my hand. This was my life. Maybe it wasn't perfect and I sure did know a thing or two about obstacles, but as I glanced around the table, I realized we all had our own obstacles. Han's conservative family posed as a wall between Donovan and her. Brooke struggled as a single mom trying to pay the bills and her nanny. Zoe dealt with bruised cheeks way too often. But we all sat at the table. Together. Smiling. Sure, life may not be perfect, but maybe it's those twists and turns that merge our paths and bring us together. A room full of broken hearts with the drive to keep beating.
"I love you guys," I said. "I mean it."
My landlord called while I was driving home from the fabric store.
"Jane." He didn't sound excited. "I know it's been rough, but maybe you should consider a cheaper option."
"I'm sorry," I said, hearing my own desperation. "I promise I'm going to get the store running now. It will be by the end of this month and I'm sure it'll be a better experience."
"Are you aware of your bank account status?" He paused. I wasn't. "Your last check bounced."
"What?" How could that be? I had plenty left. "I'll check and get another right out to you."
"I don't think it's a good idea." His voiced turned fatherly. "I really think you should save your money and try again in the future. I'm not diminishing your dreams, Jane. I just think a little caution is necessary."
"Am I being kicked out?"
"No." He laughed. "You're more than welcome to stay, if you can handle the rent, but I have a renter for the store area downstairs and I think I'd feel more comfortable with that. Then your rent is cut in half and more affordable."
"But ... then I won't have any way to make money. Without the store and all."
"I don't think the store is working out."
A car beeped. I forgot I was in the car. An old man whipped around and tossed his fist in the air as he zoomed by me.
I started to accelerate, but the light turned red again.
"Please, can I just have one more chance? I've been working really hard on this new line and it may not work, but I need to try. I really just need one more month. Then if it doesn't work out, I'll go."
"Look, I'm really sorry. I hate to do this, but I need to pay the rent on this building and I have a renter who wants to put an organic ice cream shop down there. Their business plan is very organized and I think it's the best option for now."
"But I signed a lease."
"Your lease is month-to-month. That's what we planned so that you didn't get stuck if things didn't work out."
He went through a few more logistics while I finished driving home in a daze. When I got there I called my bank account. Sure enough, I was down to $1344. Just shy of paying rent. But with Zoe's $400 I could at least pay the remainder of our rent just for the loft.
My store.
I parked and stared at the brick wall until it blurred and my eyes morphed it into a solid red wall.
"No," I said to myself. "You won't give up. Not yet."
"How can I not?" I responded to myself. "The world is against me."
"If the world was for you, then I'd worry."
"But I'm talking to myself. That's a cause for worry."
"Yep."
I laughed and got out of my car, pausing to look at my reflection. "I won't give up. No matter what."
Of course Brooke and Han were disappointed, but they seemed more sad for me than their jobs. I only paid them part-time anyway, but now they'd need to find something else to fill in the gaps.
"I am so, so sorry," I said to them for the fifty thousandth time.
"What will you do now?" Brooke said. "Find another location?"
"I'm out of money. I just sent the last of my money out for rent. Now I've got a month to make more or I won't have enough to live here next month."
She looked at Han, who had glassy eyes.
"I'm not going to let this stop me. Maybe it's not the right time. My mom always said to me ... when the right thing comes at the wrong time, it can look like the wrong thing, but if you just hold out for the right time you'll realize it was meant to be." I smiled. "I'm sticking with that."
Took all I had to remain positive. I wanted to believe I'd have my own clothing line one day, but it definitely wasn't as easy as I envisioned. I did everything right. Even studied the trends to get ahead of the curve with a style everyone would love.
Except they didn't love it. They would as soon as a major label put it out. Or a celebrity paraded down the street in something similar.
But the right time would come eventually. Maybe not now. But soon. I was determined to see it happen.
Chapter 34
The thing about the right time is you need to go through a lot of wrong times before finally discovering the right one. Just like dating, I wasn't a fan of wasting time on the wrong ones.
Especially because it's just plain embarrassing.
The end of August snuck up on me way too fast. Brooke and Han worked for free, helping me finish an entire store's worth of Batman-inspired clothes. I was so proud of these designs, yet I had no store to sell them in.
I spent almost the entire month looking for a job, with failing interview after failing interview. Some companies knew me as "the girl who got sued," and others weren't interested in an eighteen-year-old dreamer, no matter ho
w sophisticated I tried to be. Every job that paid enough to sustain me and help me lease a store didn't work out. I wasn't qualified enough. My work history consisted of a swim school and an unsuccessful business venture. So I didn't blame them, but I was a week away from rent and I barely had enough money to eat.
Autumn knocked on my door. I let her in and she hugged me as hard as possible.
"I ... can't ... ribs ... ouch..."
"I'm leaving," she said. "Can you believe it? One more week and I'm miles and miles away."
"Are you ready to eat?"
She turned back to the door and walked into the hallway. I followed and called up to Zoe. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she yelled.
"Come lock the big lock. Just to be safe."
"I will."
"Has she gotten a restraining order yet?" Autumn said.
"Not sure. I think it involves court and stuff. I really don't know though. Zoe's a private person with that side of her life. I probably know more than anyone else. Even Donovan didn't know as much as she told me."
"How's Donny? Feel like I haven't seen him in forever."
"He's good, I guess."
We walked down to the car and talked about everything from college to job interviews as she drove. I told her to be careful. I was enduring a bad luck streak, even though I didn't believe in luck, and didn't want to get into an accident.
"Maybe you should believe in luck," she said as we entered the restaurant. "Maybe that's been the problem all along."
"Oh, no." I sighed as we walked in.
"What now?"
"That guy over there." I tried not to make eye contact, but he already saw me. "Don't look at him."
"Huh? What guy?"
"Party of two?" the hostess said.
"Yes," Autumn said. "Two, thanks."
The hostess led us toward the guys over there.
"Oh, actually would it be okay to sit on the other side of the restaurant?" I said.
"This is all I have open right now," she said. "Or that booth over there."
Even closer to him. "No, this is fine. Thank you."
Autumn sat down, set her purse on the bench beside her, and raised her chin. "Um...."