Crazy Beautiful (Crazy Beautiful #1)

by Jessica Huizenga

  She continues to hold onto me, looking unsure. She gently pushes me back before saying, “Yes. But I think I have some condoms in the bathroom.”

  She returns a minute later. I can’t help but kiss her again, this time taking my time to really taste her. Everything seems to slow down, and our previously frantic need for each other now seems less hurried, but just as desperate.

  I slide her panties down her smooth legs and run my hands back up the sides of her calves and her thighs. I roll the condom on before lifting her up so she can wrap those gorgeous limbs around me, arching her back into the wall for support. I cup her ass, holding her up, and gently push inside her. The second I feel her warmth suck me in, I swear I see stars burst behind my eyes. How it is possible to feel so fucking good, I will never know. It’s like her body was made for mine.

  I hold her tighter as I increase our rhythm, and her soft, breathy moans against my ear are shooting straight to my dick. Afraid I won’t be able to hold out much longer, I begin kissing Kinsley’s neck and whisper, “Let go for me, Kins,” to which she responds by holding on a little tighter as she explodes in my arms. I follow right after, my face buried in her neck, trying to breathe all of her in.

  I stand there panting, still holding her up. She takes a long, deep breath before going still. “Hey now, don’t fall asleep on me. You’ll wound my ego if it wasn’t exciting enough for you.” I chuckle into her hair.

  “Maybe you’ll just have to try harder next time.” I can feel her smile into my neck.

  “At least you admit there will be a next time.”

  “If you’re lucky, maybe.” She gently pushes herself away. “But for now I really should get back to work.”

  “Seriously? No cuddling, or anything? You really are the perfect girl.” I joke as she starts to gather her clothes.

  I meant it to be funny, but the way she rushes to put her jeans and sweater on without some snappy comeback makes me feel like an ass. The sad truth is I would cuddle the hell out of her if she wanted me to.

  After getting dressed, Kinsley busies herself with a couple of arrangements, and watching her work is pretty damn captivating. She gets this serious look on her face and unwittingly bites her bottom lip as she looks out at the flowers laid before her. It’s the same look she had when I first saw her, and it’s even more enthralling up close. She very thoughtfully grabs a stem and adds it to the vase, then adds another and another until this amazing display appears before her. I don’t know the first thing about flower arranging, but she makes that shit look good.

  Not wanting to disturb her concentration, I leave her to it and spend the afternoon puttering around, helping to fix up a couple things around the cottage that I noticed need work. I probably should leave to get some of my own work done, but I want to spend some time with Kinsley. I don’t know what we’re doing, but I sure as shit want to stick around to find out.

  The next thing I know the sun is starting to set so it must be after seven. I gather up my tools from tightening some loose boards on the porch and make my way to the office.

  Kinsley is on her laptop, engrossed in whatever email she’s working on.

  “Ready to call it quits for the day? I’m starved and could go for some food. Or maybe have you again.”

  I lean against the doorframe with a seductive look in my eyes, but she barely acknowledges that I’m standing here. For a minute I wonder if she even heard me.

  I take a step closer and lean down to stick my head above the laptop screen opposite her.

  “Hello? Earth to Kinsley.” I go for playful, waving my hand to get her attention.

  She finally glances up with a half-hearted smile, then goes right back to typing away. “Sorry, just finishing up some stuff. Did you need something?”

  “Just you, naked and willing.” She looks stressed, so I figure a little flirting will ease the tension.

  But again, she barely nods her head, still too focused on the computer screen to respond. Jesus, this woman knows how to put up walls. It’s as if she just shuts the world out and stays locked in her own head. It’s admirable that she is such a hard worker, but frustrating she won’t take two seconds to acknowledge what’s right in front of her. I’ve seen her serious and thoughtful as well as playful and feisty, but this is just sad. I get she might feel overwhelmed by running a business and being on her own, but she deserves to let someone else in once in a while. I feel like I catch these amazing glimpses of her letting loose, but then she goes right back to closing up.

  Looking for a reaction, I slide my hand over the laptop to close it.

  She looks shocked before sharply asking, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m helping you out of your own head. From the looks of it, things are pretty intense in there. I think you could use a distraction. Maybe grab a bite?”

  I assume the way she crosses her arms and looks all indignant is supposed to intimidate me, but really I just find it cute as hell.

  “Come on, Luc. You’ve done enough. You don’t have to stick around or anything. I’ll be fine. I’m good on my own, I promise. You don’t owe me anything. I can get my own dinner.”

  Forget the wall—this girl has built up a goddamn fortress—moat, dragon, and all. Looks like it’s time to come blasting through with a fucking cannon.

  “Damn it, Kins—loosen up, will ya? I’m not asking you to fucking marry me or anything, I’m just trying to feed you.”

  She looks embarrassed by my lack of subtlety. It’s then I get an idea, so I quickly follow up with, “Look, do you trust me?”

  Her eyes narrow and she skeptically studies my face. I think I see her head make the slightest nod, which is good enough for now. I extend my hand, and while she hesitates for a second, she finally places her own in mine so I can pull her toward the door.

  “What are we doing?” She sounds nervous, but continues to let me lead her through the front door to the driveway.

  “Something crazy. You’ll love it.” I wink just as I open the passenger door on my Gran Coupe and motion for her to get in.

  Kinsley

  As we pull into the lot of the country club, I wonder what in the hell we’re doing here. Maybe Lucas is a member and he’s just taking me for dinner like he talked about. Now that I know he’s well off with his impressive venture capital firm, it would make perfect sense. I’ve been here a couple of times to set up flower arrangements for fancy weddings, but I’ve only ever used the small service entrance in the back. I know the place is majorly swanky and I suddenly feel very underdressed in my jeans and light grey sweater.

  As Lucas gets out of the car and opens my door for me, I try my best to play it cool.

  “So, are we here for dinner?”

  He smiles before squeezing my hand and leading me toward the entrance. “Something like that.”

  “I don’t think they’ll let me in dressed like this.” I motion to my rather casual attire. He, himself, is only wearing jeans and a white t-shirt.

  “You look perfect. Just go with it.”

  Just as I’m about to protest again, we waltz up to the hostess stand in the lobby. Lucas flashes his gorgeous smile at the man standing guard by the double doors. By the way the guy eyes Lucas from head to toe and smiles back just as big . . . well let’s just say I’m not exactly his type.

  “Hey Derek, “ Lucas says, clearly ogling Derek’s little gold name tag. “My friend and I are here for the Thompson engagement party.” He nods toward a big, white, framed sign that notes in large, flowy script:

  Derek gives us both a once over, clearly appalled by our current clothing situation. I give Lucas the evil eye as if to say “See, told you so.”

  Lucas, as smooth and calm as can be, adds “I went to college with good ol’ Thompson. This guy’s seen me passed out naked in the middle of our dorm hall, so trust me, he’ll consider me overdressed for the occasion.”

  Another charming smile from Lucas, and Derek looks like the visual alone is enough to satisfy him. I can p
ractically see him snapping a mental picture. I actually think I see Lucas blush under Derek’s stare, but before I have a chance to point that out, Derek is motioning toward the door saying “Right through here, then take a right down the hall.”

  Lucas thanks him and guides me in the indicated direction.

  As we walk down the hall my mind is going about a million miles a minute. “Wait, you’re taking me to your friend’s engagement party?”

  “Nope.”

  We make it out to the terrace where about two hundred people dressed in fancy suits and dresses are milling about, sipping glasses of champagne and accepting the tiniest hors d’oeuvres from silver platters being carried around by about a dozen waiters.

  I glance around the party, trying to understand the connection. Lucas looks like he’s about to burst as he holds back a smile.

  “Oh my God. You don’t know Thompson at all, do you?” The mildly horrified—but also impressed—look must show on my face, because Lucas no longer even tries to hide his amusement as he shrugs. “We’re seriously crashing this party?!” I try to keep my voice low and my excitement contained, which only makes Lucas smile brighter.

  “Hey, what better way to blow off some steam than a place where nobody knows us and we can pretend to be anyone we’d like? Plus there’s free food and booze. How can you say no to that?” He nods toward the bar, which sits next to a large buffet. “And if you really want, I’ll even let you leave your underwear somewhere inside.”

  I lightly shove his arm. “You really are crazy, you know that?” I can’t help but smile.

  “Takes crazy to know crazy.”

  Lucas looks at me with pure excitement in his eyes, which is rather contagious. The thought of being here when we shouldn’t is exhilarating. He seems to get that I sometimes need to let go and live in the present moment. It makes me wonder if he’s just doing it to one-up my sex-on-the-desk proposition, or if he has his own past that needs escaping, too.

  After being with Lucas so intimately for a second time, I’m still not sure how to feel or what to think. I continually let my guard down around him, knowing it’s only going to end badly in the end. I want to keep up this cool, casual vibe, but I can’t seem to squash these stupid feelings from forming so I instinctively push him away and shut down emotionally.

  He practically jumped at my offer for no strings sex, so why he stuck around today is really sort of baffling me. And the fact he actually took the time and effort to care what I’m thinking . . . to actually get frustrated enough to force me to talk to him? What’s up with that? We established we’re simply friends with benefits, but he seems to be just as enthusiastic about the friends part as the benefits part.

  It’s only a matter of time before he gets bored and moves on to the next girl (something he had no problem with the night of the party), so for now I’m just trying to enjoy this—whatever it is—while it lasts. No matter how much I know it will never go anywhere, I can’t help but like how Lucas makes me feel when we’re together. Sometimes it is nice to let go, even if it’s only on a physical level.

  If nothing else, Lucas can provide me with a temporary escape from the loneliness I’ve been feeling lately. I know it will be short-lived, and then it’s right back to being in-control Kinsley.

  But for tonight it would be nice to feel like I don’t have to be myself for a change.

  After an hour of stuffing our faces and trying to remain inconspicuous, Lucas and I finally make our way back to his car. We made sure to keep our distance from the soon-to-be bride and groom, and, despite a few disapproving looks, thankfully the rest of the guests were too refined to bother ratting us out.

  The grin on my face must be about a mile wide, and when I see the way Lucas looks at me, I suddenly wonder if I have something in my teeth.

  “What? Did I act like a total idiot and give us away in there?” I bite my bottom lip as I lean against the car door.

  “Nah, I’m sure most of them don’t even know their own names by now, let alone know who we are . . . or aren’t. Besides, I left a very generous monetary gift, so if I had to guess we’ll even be seeing an invitation to the wedding real soon.” Lucas stands in front of me, sporting his own pleased look. “Did you have fun tonight?”

  “As much as it shames me to admit it, yeah, I really did.” I pretend to bow my head sheepishly, but still can’t keep from smiling. “I’m sorry I was caught up in my work earlier and forced you to take such drastic measures, though.”

  “Hey, if you can count on one thing, it’s that I will always be there to call you on your shit. That’s what friends are for, right?”

  “Thanks, Luc. I mean it. I’m used to being by myself, but it was nice to get out and forget for a bit.”

  “Forget?” His brow furrows with concern.

  What I want to say is that for the first time in a long time, despite being in a strange place full of strangers, being with him made me forget the constant loneliness I usually feel.

  But thankfully I realize how incredibly stupid that would be, so I opt for a normal response. “Just . . . everything. Work, bills, you know . . . the usual for everyone.”

  He nods his head as if he understands, despite looking like he wants to push further. But rather than throw it back at me, he follows up with, “Yeah, life can get pretty heavy sometimes. It’s a real bitch. But the way I see it, we should just have fun while we can and figure the rest out as we go along.” He simply shrugs.

  I find the way Luc sees the world strangely comforting. He calls it like it is and I can’t help but wonder if he’s so cool and collected because it’s just his attitude, or if something from his past caused him to be so mellow. Maybe a little of both? I can see how his carefree attitude and sometimes crude humor can come off as immature, but I sense it’s just a front. It’s like I can see something much deeper going on when he gets that intense stare of his, but he’s very good at keeping it bottled up. He’s able to brush everything off and be spontaneous. I admire that, as it’s something I myself also desperately try to do.

  I almost give in to asking him about it all when, after a silent pause, he adds, “I guess I should get you back home. As much as I’ve taken great pleasure aiding in your corruption, I know how much your work means to you. Just promise me you’ll remember to let loose sometimes.”

  I shake my head, silently scolding myself for almost losing it. We both move to get in the car and I go for being playful—being safe—instead. “You mean like propositioning men to have sex at office parties and crash fancy parties at the country club?” I raise an eyebrow to him as I buckle my seatbelt.

  He puts the car in gear before looking over to meet my eyes with a lustful spark. “That’s my girl.”

  Lucas

  “Why didn’t you write me? Why? It wasn’t over for me. I waited for you for seven years, and now it’s too late.”

  “I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year.”

  “You wrote me?”

  “Yes. It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I’m sitting next to Kinsley on the couch, watching Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams suck face in a rainstorm on the TV.

  Kelley, who is sitting on the other side of Kinsley, tosses a pillow my way. “Shut up, you’re ruining the best part.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m just saying . . . these movies set up an unrealistic expectation. I mean this dude built her a fucking house after he knew she was engaged to someone else. How can any guy compete with that?”

  Kinsley giggles from her seat between us. It’s been a week since we crashed the engagement party and we’ve settled into a comfortable type of companionship as we both keep things easy and detached. There has been a silent understanding that we each have our reasons for doing so, but the more time I spend with her I can’t help but want to know more.

  We’ve either seen each other or talked almost every day this week, so I stopped by tonight thinking we would hang out
. But she forgot she already had plans for a movie night with Kelley. I was going to leave them to it, but Kelley invited me to stay. I’m not sure how much Kinsley has told her about us, so I’ve been on my best behavior.

  Kelley pokes Kinsley. “Come on Kins, back me up. It’s romantic. A grand gesture and all that.”

  “Sorry, Kells, I’m with Luc on this one. It is a bit dramatic.”

  Kelley pinches Kinsley’s leg. “You’re a bad judge. Just because you don’t believe in love, doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.”

  This makes me sit up straighter to look at Kinsley. “Really?”

  She shrugs and looks back to the movie.

  Kelley chuckles from the other side of the couch. I continue staring at Kinsley but she refuses to make eye contact. Kelley must pick up on the vibe shift because she looks toward Kins, then toward me, and smiles to herself before sitting up to put on her shoes.

  “I should get going. I’ve got an early day tomorrow, so no time to sit here and argue about this with you two cynics.” She gives Kinsley a quick hug and makes for the door. Before she leaves she looks over her shoulder and says, “I can see why you two might get along.” And with that she closes the door behind her, leaving Kinsley and I alone.

  Kinsley grabs the remote and clicks off the TV. “At least now we don’t have to finish this.”

  I know she’s talking about the movie but I pretend she means our discussion. “Nice try. You’re not getting off the hook that easily.”

  At this point I’m amused. Our situation doesn’t exactly lend itself to deep talks about true love and all that, so seeing her squirm is entertaining. I know I’m playing with fire, but I want to know everything going on inside her head.

  She sighs. “What? Come on, I would think you of all people would understand me. You said yourself this movie is a load of crap.”