Alice stood transfixed, staring at his dirty fingernails as his hand moved up and down the figures.
‘That’ll be seven pounds, ten shillings and six pence.
Alice took a deep breath. ‘I shall give you five pounds, sir.’
‘No,’ the old man blustered. ‘It adds up to over seven pounds and that is what I want.’
‘Sir, I am taking more off your hands today than you’d probably get rid of in a year, so five pounds it is.’ She took a deep breath, trying to keep her embarrassment at bay. ‘For every minute it takes you to decide, I shall take away another ten shillings, so be quick before my offer is four pounds ten shillings.’ Alice took out her purse and counted out five one-pound notes onto the counter. She stared hard at her money, unable to bring herself to look at him.
Moments later, he picked up the notes. ‘You drive a hard bargain, miss. There's a job here for you, if ever you are in need.’
Alice placed the items into her shopping bag. ‘Thank you, sir, but hopefully I will never have that need. I’ll arrange for the table and chairs to be collected tomorrow.’
‘I’d say it's been a pleasure doing business with you, miss, but I think you’ve fleeced me.’ The man smiled at her.
Alice nodded and, without another word, she left the shop. The chiming of the door followed her down the street. With her eyes downcast, she paced along, her bag weighing heavily on her, but she didn't slow down. The impressive gothic architecture of Westminster Abbey didn't capture her attention in the normal way. Her heart was pounding and her head was starting to throb when the Houses of Parliament came into view. Relieved, she slowed down. Her arms ached and her lungs burnt, as she gasped for air. All she had to do now was face Victoria’s wrath.
*
Victoria stared vacantly out of her sitting room window wondering, not for the first time, how everybody’s lives could carry on as normal. It didn’t seem right. The clouds were low and getting darker, so the threat of rain was growing and the grey day reflected her mood. She didn’t want to go out but, contrarily, she didn’t want to stay in either. The house was bare of her parents’ personal possessions; it no longer felt like home. A child screaming broke into her thoughts. Leaning forward, she peered through the dust that clung to the glass, her nose almost touching it. Victoria looked up and down the street, trying to discover what had happened. A grey-haired woman was helping a young girl up off the pavement. The child clung to her, as tears ran down her face. She stared at the scene and a tear trickled down her own cheek. Her parents were never going to meet their grandchildren. Angrily, she swiped the tear away. It wasn’t fair. It suddenly dawned on Victoria that Sarah Taylor must have been equally heartbroken when her own children were born. Her eyes widened as she spied Alice approaching the house. Victoria watched her walk past the little girl, heading purposefully towards her home. Alice’s shoulders were hunched over and her eyes stared at the pavement. The straps of the bag she was carrying looked strained, stretched to breaking point. Victoria sighed. She’s probably bought more books. Alice looked up and Victoria quickly jerked back, behind the heavy curtain. Twice in a couple of days, she couldn’t face her again. She was immediately overcome with guilt; after all, Alice was only trying to help.
Alice raised her hand to lift the doorknocker in Percy Street, but dropped it again. Victoria was fiercely independent and Alice feared she was going to be furious with her. She wanted to run. ‘You did it for the right reasons’ the voice yelled in her head. Surely her friend would know that, wouldn’t she? She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin, bracing herself for what was to come. She shook her head, wishing she had thought it through, instead of acting impulsively. Seeing her friend smile again was what this was about, and surely there was no better way to do it. Her jaw clenched shut. She lifted her hand and before she had time to change her mind again, the doorknocker thudded down.
Victoria groaned. She wanted to ignore the front door and her unwanted visitor. She could hear her mother telling her off.
‘Don’t be rude Victoria, Alice is a good friend to you.’
She stood rooted to the spot. The door thudded again.
‘Don’t turn your back on people that care, she’s doing her best.’
Victoria shook her head. ‘I know you’re not here, Mother, so does that mean I’m going mad?’ She ran her hand over her face, before taking a deep breath.
The door thudded again. Victoria sighed. ‘I’m coming,’ she yelled as she walked towards the hallway. She gave a wry grin; if she was hearing voices, then maybe she did need her friends. She swung open the door. ‘Hello, Alice, I wasn’t expecting to see you again today.’ She stood aside, so Alice could step in.
Alice frowned. Victoria’s hair was a tangled mess and dust was smeared across the side of her face. She stepped inside the house, wrinkling her nose as she inhaled the stale air. ‘No.’ She paused. ‘I’ve been a little impulsive, so I hope you won’t be angry with me.’ Her fingers trembled as she tried to undo the buttons of her black winter coat.
Victoria took it, hanging it on the peg in the hall. She indicated for her to walk into the sitting room. ‘What have you done?’
Alice did as she was bid. Their skirts rustled, matching the tap of their heels on the tiles. The carpet deadened their footsteps as they entered the sitting room. Alice walked over to an armchair and lifted the bag on to it.
‘That looks heavy. How many books have you bought today?’ Victoria forced a smile to her lips.
Alice stared hard at her friend, before lowering her eyes. Without a word, she opened the bag. Tension flowed through her veins. Her heart pounded in her ears. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Victoria, so began taking out the figurines she’d recovered from the pawnshop, slowly standing them side by side on the chair, and the small table next to it.
‘That looks like…’ Victoria stopped as jewellery was placed on the table. ‘How…?’
‘I took the tickets from your drawer and I—’
‘You had no right,’ Victoria gasped. ‘Who do you think you are? You come into my home and help yourself to my things, without a word…’
‘I… I thought you’d be happy to get your parents’ things back.’
Tears streamed down Victoria’s face. ‘Get out!’ She screamed.
Alice stood rooted to the spot.
‘I said get out.’ Victoria turned her back on Alice. ‘You’ve no idea about what I’m going through.’ She paused for a moment before whispering, ‘I’ve already said goodbye to these things once.’
Alice blinked rapidly as she looked across at Victoria’s hunched back. Her fingertips were just visible as they gripped her tiny waist. ‘I know. That’s why I thought you’d be happy to see them.’ She sniffed, taking a step towards the hallway. ‘Your table and chairs will be delivered to you tomorrow.’
Victoria spun round, her face contorted with rage. ‘You know I hate you, and you don’t even realise it. You just can’t see that you have it all; parents, husband, money. You even met Freddie, the love of your life, because of that damn train crash, and I lost mine.’ She sobbed. ‘I lost everything. It’s not fair.’ She sniffed. ‘Get out and don’t come back. I’m not some lost dog or charity that you can keep throwing your money at. Get out.’
Alice could feel her body trembling. The urge was strong to run away from the raw pain that has being hurled at her. She took a step towards Victoria. ‘You’ve got to stop blaming me. It’s not my fault. I didn’t make the train derail. I didn’t expect to fall in love with Freddie. None of this is my fault, and what’s more, I refuse to take the blame, especially when I’m only trying to help.’
Victoria turned her back on Alice.
Alice stepped into the hallway, her heels echoing in her ears. Tears tripped over her lashes as the front door slammed shut behind her. Surely this couldn’t be how their friendship would end.
Chapter 14
February/March 1915
Lily sat in the armch
air nearest the unlit fireplace. Ash mixed with blackened wood and the grey coal from the previous evening’s fire. The woody smell and charcoal mingled with the citrus of the orange blossom her mother had put on that morning. The silence in the sitting room, at Bloomsbury Street, was only broken by the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the windows. She peered down at her embroidery, examining her handiwork. She poked and pulled at the silk thread; the small red roses were proving to be tricky. She sighed and glanced across at Alice, sitting opposite her. Lily frowned. Her sister had been very quiet, even by her standards. Her eyes were red, ringed by dark circles. Lily wondered if she’d missed some news about her brothers. She squeezed her lips together, hoping she hadn’t.
Alice stared down at the white pages of the book sitting on her lap. She kept reliving Victoria’s rage, and without realising it, she shook her head. It hadn’t occurred to her that Victoria would find it difficult being around her and Freddie. The hard, red cover of the book nestling in the folds of her blue skirt moved and the corner jabbed into her thigh. Alice altered its position and rubbed her leg. She peered down and read the same line again.
‘What’s going on?’ Lily’s voice rang out, startling Alice.
‘Sorry?’
Lily’s eyebrows knitted together. ‘Don’t pretend nothing’s wrong. You haven’t read a word of that book all afternoon.’
‘That’s not true.’ Alice straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin.
‘All right, let me say it another way.’ Lily paused. ‘You haven’t turned a page of that book, all the time I’ve been sitting here, which is a good hour.’ Lily stabbed her sewing needle into the canvas she’d been embroidering and placed the stiff material at her feet.
Alice sighed.
‘Is the book rubbish?’ Lily smiled at her sister.
‘No, definitely not, it’s Phantom of the Opera.’ Alice closed her eyes and leant back into the chair, resting her head against it. Unfortunately, and much to her father’s disgust, her French was never good enough to read and understand the original version. ‘I just can’t concentrate, that’s all.’
Lily could feel her lips begin to tremble as she took a deep breath. ‘Has there been news?’
Alice’s eyes flew open. Her sister’s tears weren’t far away. She immediately leant forward and rested her hand on Lily’s knee. ‘Oh no, at least, not that I’m aware of.’
Relief flooded Lily’s face, as her body sunk into the chair. ‘So, what is it then?’
Alice frowned. She adjusted her sitting position and closed her book. ‘It’s Victoria.’
‘What about her?’
Alice stared down at her fingers, intertwined on her lap. ‘She got angry with me and asked me to leave her home, telling me never to return.’ Her eyes welled up. ‘I wouldn’t mind, but I was trying to be helpful.’
Lily sighed. She had been on the end of some of Alice’s help before. It usually involved her telling Lily to behave and not rock the boat otherwise they would all suffer. ‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing.’ Alice instinctively knew Lily would agree with Victoria.
Laughter filled the room. ‘Well, I knew you didn’t like confrontation, but lying as well…’
‘All right, all right.’ Alice’s eyes glinted when she looked up. ‘I don’t need you making me feel worse than I already do.’
‘So, tell me.’ Lily frowned. ‘It couldn’t have been that bad.’
Alice steeled herself and relayed the story to her sister. ‘… and then she screamed at me telling me how much she hates me. She told me to leave and never return.’ Alice broke off, sniffing, as tears fell onto her cheeks.
Lily’s mouth was set in a thin line as she shook her head. ‘I know you meant well, and I have to say that will be on your headstone, but I’m not surprised she told you to leave. I’d have thrown something at you, so she showed more restraint than I would’ve done.’
‘I was just trying to help, you know, be a friend.’ Alice sobbed. ‘The trouble is, she’s so damn proud.’
Lily gave a hollow laugh. ‘You must see that she does her best, and you helping yourself to something that wasn’t yours to take, and also trying to rescue her from a situation, doesn’t resolve it. All it does is make her feel she’s not coping very well.’ Lily gave a little laugh. ‘If you ask me, you’re lucky you were able to walk out of there.’
Anger began to rise in Alice. She could feel colour flooding her cheeks. ‘I just wanted to see her happy again and don’t know what else I could’ve done, but thanks for your support.’
‘Look Alice, you’ll always have my support, you know that, but Victoria needs time and space to heal. She needs a friend, someone whose shoulder she can cry on.’
Alice sighed. ‘I tried to be that friend, but she said I was a constant reminder of what she didn’t have.’
Lily nodded. ‘I can understand that. All you can do is be there when she needs you.’ She paused, staring at Alice. ‘She carries a heavy burden, especially with Stephen going off to war.’
‘I know.’ Alice shrugged her shoulders. ‘I feel so inadequate. I just want to help.’
‘That’s two of you feeling inadequate, then.’
The front door thudded shut. Both girls lowered their heads and returned to their reading and embroidery.
*
Alice took a deep breath as she walked through the entrance of Foyles. Her normal excitement at being around so many books was missing, as sickness washed over her. ‘Morning, Mr Leadbetter.’ She forced herself to smile in his direction as she removed her black gloves and began unbuttoning her winter coat.
The floor manager of the bookstore frowned as he watched her walking towards him. She had lost the spring in her step and her eyes were shadowed with dark circles, against her pale skin. ‘Morning, Mrs Leybourne. Is everything all right?’ It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen her talking to Victoria Appleton in the last couple of weeks and wondered if it was connected.
A smile played on her lips. Yes, she was Mrs Leybourne. She had often wondered if those wonderful two days with Freddie, a couple of months ago, had been a dream. She pulled herself upright. ‘Yes, sir.’
Mr Leadbetter nodded, deciding she didn't look well, but knowing it was best to keep his own counsel as he watched her walk towards the staff room. He’d keep a fatherly eye on her.
Alice walked into the staff room and was immediately hit with the strong smell of coffee. Nausea rose in her throat. She held her breath, quickly hung up her coat and clocked on, before moving towards the shop and breathing deeply. Her hand reached out and clung to the doorframe as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. She hadn’t been right since the argument with Victoria a couple of weeks ago. Even though she missed her friend and their early morning chats, Alice had made no attempt to contact her. After all, she’d made her feelings quite clear. Alice took the couple of steps to her counter and began preparing her pad and pen for customers. She glanced up and saw Mr Leadbetter walking towards her.
‘Has your father got back from Sandringham?’
Alice gave a weak smile. ‘Yes, thank you, sir. He stayed longer than normal, which worried us. Thanks to the newspapers, I was able to reassure my mother he was probably safe, but yes, he’s back now.’
Mr Leadbetter took a step towards Alice. ‘It's a shame he didn't write to her. I’ve been going to the picture house to watch The Pathé News, but they don't give much away. Did he say whether there was much damage up there?’
Alice looked up at his tall, black suited frame; his lined features looked grey in colour. ‘He didn't say much, but I get the impression other areas were much worse off.’
Mr Leadbetter nodded, approving of her father's silence. ‘It must have given you all quite a scare, but still, he’s back now.’ He turned and headed up some steps, towards another section.
Alice turned to the table behind her, and the books that hadn’t been collected from the previ
ous day. She moved them to one side, ensuring they didn’t get mixed up with today’s.
‘Morning.’
Alice peered over her shoulder to see Molly at the counter, with Victoria standing just behind her. Nausea and dizziness swept over her for the second time that day. ‘Morning.’ She tried to take some deep breaths as she leant forward, gripping the side of the table.
‘Right, I’m putting my foot down with you two.’ Molly grabbed Victoria's arm and pulled her forward. ‘I don't know what has occurred between you, and I don't need to know.’
Alice closed her eyes, steadying herself, before releasing her hold on the counter. She forced a smile to her lips, before turning around to face her friends. Her legs started shaking and she leant back for support.
Molly looked from one to the other. ‘All I know is, since Tony died, you two haven't been speaking. You’re both my friends.’ She paused before shaking her head. ‘You know, I felt so guilty when Tony died and if nothing else, it taught me to treasure my friendships and family more.’ Molly arched her eyebrows and gave them both a piercing look. ‘There's a war on, for God's sake. We could all die tomorrow. Whatever’s gone on can't be that bad that you wouldn't want to clear the air before we all die.’
Alice smiled. ‘It's clear someone’s feeling better. It's good to have you back.’
‘Actually, I still feel pretty awful but I have to say you look as bad as I feel, so please sort it out before it makes you really ill.’ Molly turned on her heels and walked away.
Alice's eyebrows knitted together as she watched her disappear between the rows of bookshelves. She glanced at Victoria, before turning back to her things on the counter. ‘Well, that told us didn't it? She's always had a flair for the dramatic.’
The Foyles Bookshop Girls Page 16