The Foyles Bookshop Girls

by Elaine Roberts

  Alice jumped up, all self-pity forgotten, as she strode to her mother's side. ‘Are you all right? Come and sit down.’ She put her arms around her waist and took her back to the chair, gently lowering her into the seat. Victoria, can you ask Mrs Headley to find my father?’

  Victoria nodded and swept out of the room, to return only minutes later.

  Luke followed Victoria through the doorway. ‘What's happening?’ He frowned and knelt down by his wife's feet. ‘What's wrong?’ He took her thin hand in his.

  ‘I can't... I can't catch my breath.’ Sarah gasped, all colour now drained from her face.

  ‘Try Sarah, you must try.’ Luke's eyes darted over her. ‘It might be wind. Try giving a little cough; that might clear it.’ He moved to the side of her and rubbed her back.

  ‘It's passing.’ Sarah gulped for air and lent back in the chair.

  Luke stroked his wife's hand and watched as colour began to return to her cheeks. ‘What has happened to bring this on?’ He turned to look at Alice. ‘Your mother isn't a strong woman and needs protecting at all costs.’

  Alice frowned as she and Victoria exchanged glances. ‘Father, there’s been some news about Charles,’ Alice ventured.

  Luke stood up, giving Sarah a sideways glance, before taking a deep breath. ‘Oh, what is it?’

  Sarah held up the telegram. ‘Charles is missing.’

  He stared down at the words on the paper. His lips straightened into a thin line, almost disappearing from view. Luke looked down at his wife. ‘You made him soft, Sarah.’ He turned away and picked up a photo of his youngest son from the mantelpiece. Luke studied it for a moment; the boy was always smiling. ‘Charles gets lost walking around the house.’ He looked round and smiled at her. ‘He'll turn up. He's like the proverbial bad penny; he won't be missing for long.’

  Sarah eyes glistened as she nodded.

  Luke knelt at her feet again. He took her hand and rested it between his palms. ‘You have to keep your strength up, because the boys will need you when they return.’

  Sarah took a deep breath. ‘God will keep them safe; he has to,’ she whispered. ‘The thought of them not coming home again…’

  ‘Try and stay positive, Mrs Taylor.’ Victoria's energy had drained away. ‘We must all pray for their safe return.’

  Alice nodded. She didn't speak of Charles and Freddie sharing the same trench. She wasn't sure what it meant. Had Freddie told the army he was now married? Would she receive a telegram if Freddie was also missing or killed? Her head started to swim with unanswered questions.

  Chapter 17

  August 1915

  Alice's feet ached as she walked along Charing Cross Road. She struggled to catch her breath in the early morning sunshine, longing for a wisp of a breeze. Her hand reached up and fluffed the bottom of her wavy hair; glad it was off her neck. In her mind, she had been brave to have her long hair cut off and hoped Freddie would like it when he got home. The new style meant it now sat just below her ears. The pearl droplet earrings swayed gently as she waddled along. The baby moved and her pink dress kicked outwards, giving her an unusual shape. She slowly moved her hand across her swollen stomach. There was no hiding that she was around seven months pregnant. She sighed, wishing Freddie was with her to share the excitement and the movement of their forthcoming child.

  ‘Alice, wait,’ Victoria boomed out behind her.

  Alice stopped and slowly turned around, her features breaking into a smile. ‘That was a little unladylike.’

  Victoria laughed. ‘Never mind, I don't think anyone noticed.’

  ‘Oh trust me, someone would have done.’ Alice smiled.

  Victoria shrugged her shoulders. ‘Why are you going to work?’ She half ran the couple of steps towards Alice and placed her arm through hers. ‘You look like you can hardly walk.’

  ‘Mr Leadbetter said he’d find me a chair to sit on, if I could make it into work.’ Alice frowned as she looked down at her feet. ‘The problem is, my feet and ankles are swollen, so it makes walking a little uncomfortable.’

  ‘All the more reason why you shouldn't be on your feet, if you ask me.’ Victoria glared at her friend. ‘This heat won't be helping, but I'm surprised your mother allowed you to leave the house, Mrs Leybourne.’

  ‘Mrs Leybourne.’ Alice laughed. ‘You know, if I weren't pregnant, I could easily believe my wedding had been a dream.’ She tightened her arms across the baby growing inside her. ‘You know, I'm still sleeping in the same single bed, in the same drab room. It doesn't feel like anything has changed.’

  Victoria bit down on her lip as she looked at her friend's watery gaze. ‘It will. Freddie will be home soon and you’ll set up home together, with your little son or daughter.’

  Alice smiled. ‘I’m saving every penny I can, so when he does get home, we can look for our own place. It'll be good for little Freddie or Freda.’

  Victoria frowned. ‘Is that what you’re going to call the baby?’

  Alice laughed. ‘I take it from that look, you don't like those names.’

  Colour started to rise up Victoria's neck. ‘No, no I wouldn't say that.’

  ‘Well you’re quite right.’ Alice squinted in the sunlight. ‘I haven't thought about names at all. I keep hoping Freddie will come home and we can choose together.’

  Victoria nodded. ‘He might. You never know, but I think you need to start thinking about some, just in case you have to decide.’

  Alice nodded. ‘I haven't heard from Freddie.’ Her voice rose. ‘I'm frightened something has happened to him and I haven't been told, because they don't know he got married.’

  Victoria squeezed her friend's arm. ‘Think about what you’re saying, Alice; Freddie used to be a policeman, so I'm sure he’s a stickler for paperwork.’

  Alice gave a little laugh. ‘I expect you’re right.’ She frowned and her chin trembled a little. ‘But with Charles going missing, it has frightened me, because Freddie told me they were together.’

  ‘Have you told Molly that Charles is missing?’

  Alice shook her head. ‘I didn't want to worry her. I think the letter-writing has meant they've grown quite close.’ She sniffed. ‘I find myself checking for him at the train stations, and asking at Charing Cross Hospital when I go there every night. I keep hoping he’ll make his way home.’

  Victoria nodded. ‘I think you’re right not to let Molly know, although she’ll probably be pretty angry when she finds out.’ Victoria smiled. ‘We’ll probably need to be wearing a soldier's helmet when she does.’

  Alice laughed. ‘I'll be all right, I'm pregnant. You're the one who should be worried.’

  Victoria grinned. ‘Oh thanks; I thought we were friends?’

  Alice smiled. ‘You know, this time last year, we were carefree, wondering what to do with ourselves over the Bank Holiday.’ Her smile faded. ‘Tony and Molly came with us to Southend.’ She paused as they started to slowly step forward. ‘I feel bad now, because at the time he annoyed me so much, but now he's gone.’

  Victoria patted Alice's arm. ‘It's no good thinking like that. You wanted to protect Molly, as indeed we all did.’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘At the time, none of us knew our loved ones were going to be whisked away to war.’

  ‘I know. How things have changed in the last year.’

  ‘Indeed they have.’

  They both walked on in silence for a few minutes.

  ‘This’ll make you smile,’ Victoria said. ‘I saw my neighbour and she had a huge key, dangling on a chain around her neck. My eyes kept getting drawn to it.’ She paused and gave a little laugh. ‘My imagination started to run away with me and I wondered if she had a man locked inside the house.’

  Alice chuckled. ‘Did you ask her? I bet you couldn't resist.’

  Colour rose up Victoria's cheeks. ‘I got caught looking.’ She gave a nervous laugh. ‘I was so embarrassed.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  ‘She told me outright, saying she felt li
ke a jailer, but with food shortages kicking in, she had no choice but to keep the larder key with her at all times.’ Victoria laughed. ‘Apparently, her children kept helping themselves to anything they could get their hands on.’

  ‘Aw, bless. I didn't realise things had got that bad.’

  Victoria nodded. ‘I expect people are stockpiling food, and that's what's causing the shortage.’ She looked up at Alice. ‘Have you bought anything for the baby yet?’

  ‘No,’ Alice admitted. ‘Mother is very excited and wandering around the shops, looking at different bits and pieces. She's knitting little booties in white or yellow, because we don't know whether it's a girl or a boy, and heaven forbid you should put blue booties on a little girl.’

  *

  The evenings were lighter and cooler than the heat of the August days. Alice was grateful for this as she drove the ambulance close to the platforms, at Victoria Station, as she did every night. The Government was urging people to pin black material up at all windows, to prevent the Germans negotiating their way across the country, but this made it harder and more tiring for her when she drove at night. As the weeks passed, it took her longer to get in and out of the vehicle, her baby bump just squeezing in behind the wheel. She was used to the disapproving looks from some women, but she didn't care. Others smiled their approval of her efforts. This was her only avenue for trying to find Charles and she had to keep the hope alive inside her. If she could find him, then not only would she know he was safe, but he might also have some answers about Freddie.

  Alice stepped onto the concourse. The baby changed position, causing her to stop and catch her breath.

  An elderly lady approached her. ‘Are you all right, lovey?’ The lady frowned. ‘Is that baby giving you jip?’

  Alice rested her hand on the baby's foot or elbow that was protruding. She smiled. It reminded her of something out of a scary film. ‘He's just kicking, letting me know he's around.’

  ‘They clear take your breath away at times. Do you need to sit for a moment?’

  Alice shook her head. ‘I'm fine, thank you. I've just got to try and take it easy.’

  ‘Take your time. You can rush all you want, lovey, but it won't change anything.’ The lady nodded and started to walk away.

  ‘Thank you.’ Alice watched her.

  The old lady turned and waved. ‘Take care.’

  ‘And you.’ Alice stepped forward, careful not to make any sudden movements. The soldiers were sitting propped up against a wall. All had various bandages on them, each spattered with blood and dirt, as others had been before. A lady handed out packets of cigarettes and matches to the men, helping some of them to light them. Spirals of grey smoke joined the steam from the trains waiting patiently at the platforms, before slowly disappearing into the roof. There were murmurs of thanks. Then there was silence amongst them. Some hung their heads with exhaustion, while others leant back onto the fencing and closed their eyes.

  One man had his head and eyes covered with bandages. His head jerked up as she approached. ‘Who's there?’ he shouted out. ‘Make yourself known.’

  The men around him sprung to life, some leaning forward to see what was going on, while others described what they could see to the man sitting next to them.

  Alice stared down at him. The anxiety she tried to bury every time she made the journey rose to the surface. She looked down the line of men. Their faces were etched and hardened by their experiences. Her little bit of kindness made a difference to them. Looking back down at the man, Alice wondered if his vulnerability, his lack of control was worse than anything else he had experienced. ‘My name’s Alice,’ she whispered. Stooping next to him, it dawned on her she might not be able to get back up again. Alice smiled at her predicament as she rested her hand on his gnarled knuckles, briefly wondering who’d help her. ‘I'm here to get you to a hospital. You’re in safe hands.’

  A smile slowly spread across the man's face. ‘A beautiful name to match what I’m sure is a beautiful woman. I don't think I’ve ever had such soft hands touch mine before.’

  The soldiers either side of him jeered at his cheesy comment. ‘Take no notice of them, miss. None of us have seen a woman in a long time…’

  ‘Nah mate, and you're not seeing one now.’ All the men joined in the laughter that followed.

  Alice smiled. ‘You’re a mean lot.’

  The soldier chuckled, but ignored the banter that was going on all around him. ‘And we certainly haven't had someone speak to us with such a gentle voice.’

  ‘Mind you, you’re right, she's a cracker, but you’re out of luck. By the looks of things, she’s carrying a baby and I don't think it's going to be long before it pops out.’

  The soldier's mouth straightened as he squeezed Alice's hand. ‘Ah well, never mind, you can't be lucky all your life, and I consider myself to be very fortunate right now.’

  Alice laughed. ‘I’ve a couple of months to go yet, so there’s no need to worry. I'm not about to give birth on Victoria Station.’

  The man lifted his hand and touched the bandage wrapped around his eyes. ‘But someone is a blessed man.’

  Alice smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. ‘Let's hope we’re all blessed and God takes care of us all.’

  ‘Amen to that,’ the men chorused. Like time ticking away, their cigarettes gradually burnt down to their fingers.

  *

  Alice sighed as she took the cups out of the boxes and lined them up on the buffet table. She felt breathless; maybe it was all getting too much, in her condition. Perhaps she needed more than a day between driving the ambulance and serving tea and cake, and then there was her work at Foyles. Her feet ached and her ankles were swollen. Perhaps she should sit for a while.

  ‘’Ere, excuse me, lovey.’

  Alice looked up from the table and glanced over at the people milling around the entrance of Victoria Station. An old lady was shuffling forwards, leaning heavily on her walking stick. Her grey hair hadn’t seen a brush for a long time and her face was smeared with black marks. A young boy brushed past her and she waved her stick menacingly in the air. Alice held her breath. She couldn’t watch. The screech of metal against metal alerted everyone a train was slowing down. Grey smoke swirled upwards from the funnel, trying to escape into the air. A deafening whistle travelled through the station as the train came to a standstill. Alice looked around her. It wasn’t the train carrying the soldiers home. People stood around, some chatting to the person next to them, while others stood in silence, but they all looked pale and pensive.

  ‘Lovey.’ The old lady’s voice carried above the din of the trains.

  Alice looked across again but the woman didn’t look familiar. The lady was hobbling in her direction. The fringed shawl, slung carelessly across her hunched shoulders, looked as though it had seen better days. Her long black skirt was crumpled and stained, while the cuff of her once white blouse was torn. Alice wondered whether to go and help her, but she was slightly dubious of the stick she had been waving around.

  ‘Yer could ’ave met me ’alfway.’ The old lady stopped just short of the table. Her breathing was laboured.

  ‘Let me get you a seat.’ Alice picked up a wooden chair and ran to the other side of the table. She placed her hand under the lady’s elbow and eased her down. Alice’s nose wrinkled at the stench of stale smoke.

  The lady gasped for air. ‘I’ve seen yer ’ere before.’

  Alice’s lips formed a smile, but wondered what the old lady wanted with her. ‘I’m here most days, in one capacity or another.’

  ‘I know.’ The lady lowered her head and took a couple of deep breaths, before finally looking up. ‘Yer drive an ambulance when you ain’t dishing up tea and cake.’

  Alice nodded, hoping the old lady wouldn’t notice her taking a step backwards. The smoke, mingled with body odour, was too overpowering for her. She didn’t know what to say; this lady had clearly been watching her, but why?

  ‘I come ’ere
most days too, ’oping my grandson will get off one of them there trains that steam in ’ere every day.’ She sucked in some air, before pursing her lips and shaking her head. ‘It ain’t ’appened though, I’m still waiting. I just ’ope he’s safe, that’s all.’

  Alice’s chest tightened. Isn’t that why she does this every day, so she can find the men she loves and bring them home safely? Will they come home on one of the many trains that arrive here every day? She shook her head, before forcing a smile. ‘I hope he is too. It’s what we all want, isn’t it?’

  The old lady lowered her wrinkled, almost translucent eyelids. ‘Yes, well time will tell.’ She concentrated on her hands resting in her lap, one gripping the top of her walking stick, as though it was her lifeline for getting home. She looked up and eyed Alice. ‘Was yer driving yer ambulance last night?’

  Alice frowned at the unexpected question. Her jaw tightened, while her hands clenched by her sides. ‘Can I ask why you need to know?’

  The old lady cackled. ‘Yer know, my mother used to rap my knuckles for answering a question wiv a question, but you youngsters seem to get away wiv it these days.’

  Alice lowered her head. ‘I’m sorry, it’s just that I have to be careful driving an ambulance, because of the equipment and things.’

  ‘Don’t worry lovey, yer equipment’s safe wiv me.’ The lady’s eyes squeezed shut for a second. ‘I just wondered if you would ’ave been called to Leyton Midland Road Station last night.’

  Alice had a bad feeling. Her stomach knotted as her pulse raced. ‘No, I wasn’t. Why?’

  ‘Them Germans bombed it last night; the booking office is flattened, along wiv the billiard ’all.’ A tear dropped onto her cheek. ‘I fink me bruvver was in there playing.’

  Alice wanted to say something but her throat was too constricted.

  The lady frowned. ‘Fing is, I fink ’e’s still buried under all the rubble.’

  Alice shook her head and grabbed the lady’s hands, squeezing them between her own. ‘He may not have been in there.’ Her thumb gently rubbed the susceptibly soft skin on the top of her hand.