It proceeds to walk up the steps and plants his nose against the glass on my door. I’m stood frozen to the spot, and even though my brain is telling my feet to move, they are not responding. I don’t think I’m even blinking.
Unexpectedly it howls at the door and licks the glass. Which finally kick starts my feet into working and I jump in shock at the speediness of the noise. A second later it swiftly turns around and leaves. I however, am still left standing still at my back door, feeling quite unsure of what to do.
Everything that people who live around here have told me about the wolves, I find the opposite happening.
Apparently they don’t come near humans, but I have now encountered two different wolves that have come right up to me. Thankfully one of them was on the other side of a glass door.
They are not known to come near the town, but I know for certain that there was one that night by Joe’s. I heard it. And I know for certain now that it was definitely a wolf growling.
And they are not normally a danger to humans they say, but there are two dead people, in which the papers have said it could be wolf. And tonight I certainly felt like I was in danger. I could have been the third victim.
Either the wolves are changing their ways or people in this town aren’t as perceptive as me. Maybe it’s just because they are used to them, they don’t notice all the times they are around.
I finally move my feet and finish making my hot chocolate and sit down at the kitchen table, all the while, keeping my eyes on the back door between turning the pages of my book. Just waiting for the wolf to come back. And I’m not sure how I know it, but I’m positive, it will come back.
My phone goes off a little while later making me jump, and I laugh to myself because of it. I’m most likely making more of tonight’s incidents than I need to. A smile appears on my face however when I notice who the message is from.
Logan: Hey, you still awake? X
Still awake? I look at the clock and get a shock once I realize the time. I’ve been sat at the table reading and keeping an eye on the door for the past hour and a half. Aunt Sara must be staying at the studio again.
Alex: Hey yeah, why? Everything ok?
I quickly type my reply and start to make my way upstairs to bed, not before checking the back door is securely locked once more.
Logan: I just wanted to say goodnight, and sorry I had to rush off like I did.
Alex: Don’t worry about rushing off. Your dad needed you. Hope everything was ok when you got home.
Logan: It wasn’t, but it’s sorted enough for now. Can I see you tomorrow?
Alex: I thought you were picking me up for school? Did I make a mistake?
Logan: No, I am picking you up, but I just meant could I see you after school, just us?
Alex: oh ok, but I can’t straight after school I already told Chris I would do something with him.
Logan: O' Connor?
Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned Chris....
Logan: I thought we discussed O' Connor?
Alex: No we didn’t discuss anything. You kissed me and then said some stuff and I maybe just about managed to nod my head.
Logan: That good of a kiss huh?
Well yes it was actually but there is no way I’m letting him know that. But this does confirm that I do need to talk to him more about what he meant when he said what he did.
Alex: Goodnight Logan. We can talk tomorrow x
Logan: Good night Alexia x
Logan: And yes we will talk and discuss some things tomorrow. See you bright and early x
I thought I had remembered things wrong when I thought back to how serious he was when he had said that Chris or anyone else couldn’t have me. Maybe I wasn’t. We really do need to have a chat. I’ve made a friend in Chris and I’m not ready to let that friendship go, so Logan is just going to have to learn to deal with it somehow because I’m not sure I’m ready to let Logan go either.
Chapter Twelve
Never Forget
My alarm goes off and I am unusually happy to get out of bed. I usually just want to stay under the covers and keep pressing snooze; but then I remember that Logan is coming to pick me up for school and although we had a slightly awkward text last night about a little chat we need to have, I am really looking forward to seeing him. I take the few steps it takes me to walk over to my balcony doors and open them up to take a look outside to see what the clouds have decided to do today.
When I open them however I’m reminded of the grey wolf from last night and I find myself starting to look around for him. I make up my mind that I wont let it bother me today, and put it down to a strange occurrence that was a one off. I head straight to my bathroom and go do waht I need to.
When I’m ready, I head downstairs to start the coffee machine and grab some breakfast. I leave a note for aunt Sara too. Just saying hi and telling her that I won’t be straight back after school tonight, and I’ll sort my own dinner out.
I’m nervous.
About getting in a car and driving again tonight.
I’m nervous.
About getting in a car with Chris, and Logan finding out and going crazy again.
But I’m also looking forward to driving again. I think. I may change my mind when I’m sat in the drivers seat. It’s been a few nights since I had my last bad dream about my parent; I’ve definitely been having them less since I’ve moved here, so maybe that’s a sign that I am ready to start driving again and I'm slowly dealing with their death.
My phone goes off and I assume its Logan telling me he is on his way, but its not. It’s from Chris.
Chris: Hey Gorgeous, we still good for after school? Want to grab something to eat after?
How did my life suddenly get complicated? It’s my life. So why do I keep thinking that if I do one thing it’s going to upset someone else, so I shouldn’t do it; but I’m not doing anything wrong.
Am I?
I’ve never been one of those girls that have guy issues. I’ve had plenty of guys ask me out but I never had a problem telling them to back off and that I wasn’t interested. All of my closer friends back home were girls, so again no issues there; but I also don’t want to string someone along if I’m not interested in anything more than friendship.
Is that what I’m doing with Chris?
If I had to choose between Logan and Chris of who I would date, I wouldn’t even have to think about my answer.
It would be Logan.
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be friends with Chris. I don’t think I’ve ever had a friendship develop so quick with anyone like it has done with Chris. I don’t know how to describe it. I like spending time with him. He is funny and makes me laugh and smile and feel light hearted. He makes me forget the things that plague me in my dreams. I trust him.
But I know he wants more than what I want from our friendship. Is it bad of me to keep on being friends with him? Does it make me selfish? Am I the only person getting what I want from our friendship? Maybe I’ll try and talk to him about it at some point. We are friends so that should be an easy conversation to have with him.
Right?
Alex: Yes to first bit, may have to pass on the food though. Sorry.
I don’t think I need to tell him that I already made plans with Logan. He will know then that I’ve gone back on our deal.
I feel like I’m cheating on someone, like I’m cheating on both of them; buts that’s just silly I’m not even sure what my thing with Logan is. And I don’t even really have a thing with Chris, it’s just friendship. However I can’t help but feel like I’m lying to someone. Maybe even myself. I think I need girl advice.
Amber? No, she’s too close to Chris.
I quickly grab my pen and add a sentence to my note for aunt Sara. I think maybe its time I took her up on her offer to talk. She was my age once after all. She has to know what to do.
I decide to wait outside for Logan, so I find my favourite spot just sitting on the porch
steps and wait. After a few more minutes I hear his car crunching up the gravel driveway, so I stand and head down the steps with my school bag at my side. I’m actually really nervous now. What if he regrets kissing me?
He pulls up beside me and I go to open the door to get in and smile at him through the window first, only he isn’t there to see my smile. He’s at my side and opened the door, ready to help me in the truck, even thought I am quite capable of getting in a car without hurting myself. I don’t know how he moved so fast to get to me. Just something else to add to the list of strange things that makes up Logan.
“Hey” he says to me while his hands are on my hips, guiding me up and onto the little step up.
As I move to move a little further in to the warm truck, it seems he has a change of mind and he pulls me gently back so that my back bumps onto his chest. I go to pull away quickly but one of his hands snake from my hip to my stomach and he spreads his hand out and holds me in place.
“Hey, you going to let me in your car or not?” I say back to him.
“I’m sorry” he says unexpectedly, into my ear and plants a soft kiss on the top of my neck, the only part he can actually get to because of my big coat. It feels so nice to be there in his arms and since the wolf came into my yard last night, this is the safest I’ve felt. I didn’t realize how not safe I actually felt until I compare the last eight or so hours with now. I feel and hear him take a deep breath in and it relaxes me even more and I lean back against him more. He must notice because his arm moves slightly to hold me tighter to him and he rests his head on top of mine.
“What do you have to be sorry for?” I ask quietly. I’m genuinely interested in knowing because right at this moment I cant think of any reason why he needs to be apologizing.
“For not wanting to share you with anyone. For getting angry last night when you talked about spending time with Chris.” He replies honestly.
“I wasn’t aware that you were angry, but yes there is a conversation that we need to have. How about we have it later though, after school?” I can feel him smile when I say we can meet up later.
“Great I’ll meet you in the car park after school then, give you lift home?” He questions.
Ok Alex, find a good way to say this...
I tap his hand so he will release his tight hold on me and I’m able to turn around with his arm still surrounding my waist, and place my hands on his shoulders. He looks at me and smiles, however his smile fades when I start shaking my head gently.
“No, after school, I told you, I already have plans, with a friend.” I try to emphasize the ‘friend’. He doesn’t look to happy about it, and the huff that he gives makes me think I need to try harder to convince him that there isn’t anything between Chris and I. So I place my palms flat on either side of his face, so I can make sure he is looking right at me.
“Logan, Chris is a friend. That’s all he is to me. No different to Amber, apart from a few body parts that I have no interest in. He’s helping me out after school. Doing me a favor. Like friends do for each other. That’s all. We can spend some time together afterwards. Okay?” I’m not to sure where my boldness with him has come from. But I like it. It feels more like the normal me.
“You’re not interested in his body parts?” He asks seriously and I drop my hands back to his shoulders and laugh because that’s probably the only part of what I just said that he has listened too.
“No, I’m not interested in his body parts.” I say, still laughing a little. He starts to smile a little to, and gets a mischievous glint in his eyes and pulls me closer to him again.
“Are you interested in my body parts?” He says while his smile gets even bigger. I can tell that my cheeks are getting redder and redder because I can’t hold back the blush that’s forming all over my face.
“I’ll take that beautiful tint as a yes.” He states without even waiting for me to answer, and leans down slowly towards me and I think he’s going to kiss me but just as our lips are about to meet my phone bleeps from my coat pocket and stops him. He raises his head and just places a small kiss on my forehead instead.
“We need to get to school. Come on, let’s go.” He gently turns me back around and lifts me easily on to the seat.
I take out my phone to see who’s to blame for Logan not kissing me, and I immediately begin thinking I should have checked it when I got to school. Away from Logan.
Chris: No problem, see you soon anyway and looking forward to hanging out after school. Have a great morning if I don’t get chance to see you before lunch. Xxx
I know Logan saw who it was from, but to his credit, he didn’t mention it, just started driving to school. After I had read the message, I didn’t reply I just put the phone in my bag and changed the radio station to find a better song. Finding one I liked, I smiled and sat back in my seat.
I could see that Logan kept looking at me while driving, with a shocked expression on his face.
“What?” I questioned him after a few minutes. To which he just continued to look at me with the same shocked look on his face. My eyebrows creased together in a frown, I really have no clue as to what the problem could be.
“What?” I ask for second time. He looks at the radio and then back to me. His face is straight. No hint of even a tiny smile on his face.
“Did you just change the radio station in my car without asking permission first?” he asks me. He’s joking right? He’s not that type of guy. Maybe I completely got him wrong?
"Are you serious?” I ask him, but again he just looks between the road, his precious radio and me.
“Sorry I didn’t realize that it would be an issue. It’s just a radio. I can put it back if you want? If I’m allowed to touch it that is?” I say with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. This time he does smile at me. It’s the kind of smile that makes his face look so beautiful, that I know I’m going to find it hard to stay mad at him.
“No, no, it’s fine I don’t mind. I was actually just joking with you. You’re really cute when you get worked up. I like it. You can play whatever station you like.” He says with a chuckle.
“I totally believed you were one of those guys for a while then. I was about to tell you to stop the car and I would have gotten out and walked the rest of the way.” I’m so relieved that he isn’t a car freak. I’m not sure I could have coped with that.
“One of what guys?” He asks just as we are pulling in to the car park at school.
“You know, a car maniac, whose car is their baby and no one is allowed to touch or even breathe near to what is theirs.” He just nods his head as he pulls into a space near the back of the car park. I hadn’t noticed before but this is where he generally parks. Most people always want to park near the front so they have less to walk. But Logan is the opposite. He stays silent while he finishes parking and puts on the handbrake. Then he turns to me and takes one of my hands in his and links his finger with mine. He just looks at it for a while not seeming in any rush to move and get out of the car.
“Alexia?” The way he says it makes it sound like a question.
“Yes?” I reply with the same questioning tone. I take a deep breath, like I waiting for something to happen but unsure of what it is.
“I’m not a car maniac.” He states. I’m not sure where he is going with this so I don’t say anything. I just sit there unmoving.
“However, I do think there is something that you need to understand about me.” I find myself swallowing and it sounds like the loudest thing in here. That and my heart beating twice as fast as usual. I just nod my head slowly.
“I am one of those guys.”
“So you don’t want me to touch radio?” I say slightly confused.
“No you can, just forget about the radio. It’s just... I don’t like it when people touch what is mine. Or even breathe near something that is mine.” He says repeating what I just said to him.
“I am probably the most possessive person you have ever and will ever meet. I am
fiercely protective over what’s mine and I’m not afraid to deal with anyone or anything that gets in between me and something that belongs to me.” He has slowly edged closer to me and I have a tingling all through my leg. Needing to break eye contact with him for a few seconds so I can breathe, I look down to find his other hand on my thigh and I realise that explains the sensation in my leg.
River Falls: The Wolves Page 14