“Alexia?”
How does he manage to say my name like that?
No one has ever said my name like that before. He makes it sound like it’s the best word in the entire universe. He has my full undivided attention now, but I can’t seem to work out how to form words of my own right now.
“You are mine. I know I haven’t explained it all very good, And I promise I will in time, but for now all that I can do is apologize in advance because if Chris or someone else so much as touches you in the slightest way I think I may just erupt and physically hurt someone and I really can’t have that happen, especially with you so close to me, so do you think you could do me a favor please?” His eyes and his mouth that are pleading with me have me entranced. I don’t know what to look at more. His eyes have taken on the lovely golden hue that I like so much and his mouth is an invitation, asking for me to kiss him. I finally manage to nod my head.
“Please don’t be alone with Chris at school today, and please, please don’t let him put his hands or arms on you. I know that you are just friends. I believe you. I really do. But I also know guys, and he isn’t looking for friendship with you Alexia. I really don’t want to break his arm; I do actually need him on my team for the next game. I always mean what I say, I don’t break my promises either, and I promise to explain more but for now all I can say is you do belong with me Alexia. You are mine.”
I can’t stop myself, before I even know what I’m doing, Logan is kissing me back just as passionately as I’m kissing him. When he said I was his again, something just connected within me, and the only thing on my mind at that moment was to kiss him and to hell with everything else.
I’m finding it hard to believe that what is happening, is actually happening.
I’m kissing Logan, but not just kissing back. I’m kissing him, as in I started the kiss. I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to stop my self. I’m so glad that I didn’t stop myself.
My hands are on the back of his head and neck, and I don’t feel like I can get close enough to him. His hands are in my hair and I honesty have no thought as to what my hair will look like in ten minutes time as we walk into school.
He has moved his lips from mine and has moved down to my neck and has somehow managed to move my coat off my shoulder so he has better access to my skin. I didn’t know it until now but I unquestionably have a weak spot there, and he seems to know it. I can feel his mouth smiling as he is kissing me. He knows fully the effect he is having on me. I love the way his lips feel on my skin, like a hot flame is touching my skin, but completely painless.
I hear a quiet growling sound and he pulls me tighter to him and almost simultaneously I feel something sharp on the skin on my neck as if he was grazing his teeth along my flesh. But again it doesn’t hurt, it was just an un usual feeling to have, that along with the quiet rumbling sound, it makes me pull away and place a hand to Logan’s chest to get his attention. But now I have pulled away I seem to have a little more space in my head to breathe and I think the noise is actually coming from Logan.
“Logan?” I whisper breathlessly. He just drops his head into my shoulder and rests it there, while his one hand is making small circles on the back of my neck.
“I’m sorry” Is all he says.
Sorry? For what?
“You don’t have anything to say sorry...” I don’t get chance to finish what I was going to say because he cuts me off and pulls away from me, and he is almost not even talking to me, just to himself. Its like he has forgotten I’m in the car with him.
“Oh God, just a few more minutes and I would have...I can’t believe I almost did that. I’m so stupid.” He says sounding frustrated and hits the steering wheel with the palm of his hand, making me jump.
Stupid? For kissing me?
I can feel my eyes welling up with tears, knowing that he regrets what he has done and now obviously feels stupid for even kissing me. I’m the stupid one. For thinking that something could actually be going on between the two of us.
“I should get to class, thanks for the lift Logan.” I say quickly keeping my head down and avoiding all eye contact with him. I swiftly get out off the car not waiting for a reply and start walking through the car park to school. I blink rapidly to stop myself from crying. I am not going to cry over him and over what he thinks. Part of me was hoping that he would come after me. Telling me that we have our wires crossed and he doesn’t feel stupid for kissing me. That he does actually want me. But he doesn’t. I don’t even hear him open the car door to get out. When I finally make it to the steps at the front of school I turn around just to look if he did follow me but hadn’t yet caught up. I can’t see him, and when I look further back to where we were parked I can see that his truck isn’t even there anymore.
He’s left.
This time I don’t try to stop the lone tear that falls down my cheek. I take my phone out my pocket and start walking back down the steps, away from school. I’m in no mood for education right now, or to be social.
I send a quick text to Amber, letting her know that I wont be in, and also one to aunt Sara, in case the school call her to ask where I am. I don’t tell her where I am however. I honestly don’t even know where I’m heading. I’m just walking.
I’m so angry with myself. Irritated, annoyed, and disappointed with myself. I can’t believe I let myself get so caught up with a guy. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I’ve known him for less than two months and we've only kissed twice. It’s so not worth my tears, but I can’t seem to stop them. I physically have a pain in the middle of my chest, that I have no explanation for either. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. But I do know one thing.
I need to stay away from Logan.
Even as I think it in my head, the tears fall more readily down my face. This was never part of my plan. My plan was simple. Move to River Falls, finish school, think of something to do with the rest of my life. I have no time for guys in that plan.
Especially guys like Logan who are hot one minute and cold the next. I know I deserve better than that. Someone who is consistent. Someone who isn’t sorry for kissing me and someone who doesn’t tell me who I can and cannot spend my time with. And to think I was going to make sure I wasn’t around Chris as much today for him. To spare his feelings. Well it’s a shame he didn’t think about my feelings at all.
Tara can have him. They deserve each other.
After walking for about twenty minutes following the road I decide to take a walk through the forest. It really is a beautiful, crisp day and the sun is shining despite the cold and I haven’t really ever explored the forest since I moved here. I don’t wander to deep into it. I can still hear the road so I know I’m not that far in. I’m not that much of an idiot to get lost in there. I walk on for a little longer and come across a small clearing space, people obviously use it for little campfires and there are some fallen logs arranged so I’m able to sit down. I sit on the ground however so I can rest my back against the log. I pull my phone out just to see if anyone replied to my messages but I don’t have any, nor do I have any signal, probably because of the thick tree cover so I place it back in my bag at my side.
I lay my head back and close my eyes. I’m hating myself for doing it, but I’m going over the last few times I’ve been with Logan and trying to work out if I have just completely misread what ever it was between us, or if I did something wrong. Just trying to figure out what the hell happened. Because I honestly have no clue what so ever.
But the issue is, that the more I think about it the more I’m convinced that there was something real between us. Even after such a short amount of time. All the times he said I was his, that I belonged to him, that he was apologizing in advance for being overbearing and over protective. That was real. What he was saying was real, I felt it. Unless it was all just a lie and he’s a really good actor. He probably had a bet going with some of his friends, and I fell for it.
Silly of you Alex. I scold myself.
> It really is peaceful here. I can hear the birds and small animals making their homes. I keep my head back and my eyes closed and just try to forget everything that happened this morning.
◆◆◆
I have the strangest sensation. Like someone is stroking my face. I have a dull ache in my back and neck but I still have the feeling on my face, and my hair. Then I can feel something warm by my ear. A slight breath blowing gently by my ear, I feel like I’m having a very odd dream. I can feel my self stirring and moving.
“Sshhh, It's ok baby, I’ll be seeing you soon. Sweet dreams princess.” The voice is new to me. I don’t think I have heard it before.
Baby? Princess?
No one calls me baby; this really is a weird dream. I try to turn a little to rouse myself more from the dream. I awake with my eyes still closed and I realize that I must have fallen asleep sat on the forest floor. I raise my one hand to my face to rub at my eyes before I open them. I don’t want to open them. When I do and I see where I am, I’ll remember why I am here and I don’t want to remember that.
I eventually do open my eyes and judging by the light in the sky, the dampness of my jeans and the ache in the back I must have been asleep for a few hours. I stand and reach for my phone from my bag to check the time. Only when I do look in my bag, my phone is not the only thing that I find.
There is a single flower and when I quickly scan my surrounding area I find plenty of the same flowers growing between the trees. I pull out the flower and an uneasy feeling settles over me. By the flower is a piece of paper that’s been torn from a notebook. I’m not certain with out checking, but it does look similar to the paper from my own notebook.
I remember the dream that awoke me from my sleep in the forest. The feeling of a hand on my face, and I am suddenly thinking that it wasn’t a dream at all. It was real. There was a voice. I can’t remember what they said but they certainly said something.
I take a look all around me again to see if I can see any hint of anyone still out there, watching me. When I am satisfied that no one is there I unfold the note and read what it says.
After reading it, it confirms my thinking that my dream wasn’t actually a dream at all. Someone was here, watching me sleep and touching my face. They even had time to write a note and leave me a little gift. I also now remember what they said to me, what they called me.
I read the note again and throw the flower on the ground. Written with loose hand writing, with one of my pens no doubt, it reads
'You are mine Princess. Never Forget.'
Chapter Thirteen
Not Alone
You are mine princess, never forget.
I keep saying it over and over in my head. I quickly make my way back to the road. I was stupid to go in the forest but I’m grateful I had the sense not to wander further into it. I easily find the road and keep checking my phone for when my signal will return. I don’t know who I would call anyway. Amber and Chris are both in class, and Logan is ... Well I don’t care where Logan is, I wouldn’t call him for help anyway. This is probably one of his buddies playing a trick on me anyway. I bet they are watching me and having a big old laugh at my expense. I’m continuously looking around me, to make sure no one actually is watching me. Panic is setting in.
My phone startles me as it suddenly starts alerting me to a text message, more than one actually. I must have just got my signal back and they are all coming through at once. One from aunt Sara saying to call her if I need to and she spoke to the school, everything is fine there, not to worry.
A few from Amber asking where I am and what’s wrong.
And loads from Chris, and missed calls. He actually sounds genuinely worried about me. Asking if I’m okay, where am I? Why aren’t I answering? Are we still on for later?
I should send him a message back to let him know, other wise I know he will just keep on texting.
Alex: hey I’m fine, sorry I was just went for a walk in the forest and lost track of time and phone signal. I’m just on my way home. But yes to later. Please.
I don’t want to tell him that I fell asleep out there. It was a really stupid thing of me to considering what’s been in the news recently with the animal attacks. I didn’t even think about those before I went in there.
However now I have more important things to worry about than an animal attack. I can’t believe I fell asleep out there. I can still feel his fingers on my face and it makes me shudder just thinking about it. He was so close to me. I don’t know the voice but its definitely belongs to a man.
‘You are mine princess, never forget.’
I have the note in my bag; I don’t know why I kept it. Maybe as a reminder that it did actually happen, and it wasn’t a dream. To remind me that I need to be more careful. I hate to think that Logan and his friends would pull this kind of trick on someone, but deep down I would rather that be the case, than it just being some psycho that was out there with me.
About ten minutes later a car horn blares and I can hear a car slowing down beside me. I really don’t want to be bothered by another random stranger today so I just ignore them and carry on walking. I don’t even look through the corner of my eye. If I don’t make eye contact with them maybe they will carry on. I can feel my heart racing. I’m not usually this jumpy and nervous but the whole thing in the woods and the note has me seriously freaked out.
“Alex, Hey stop. I’ll give you a lift.”
My whole body sighs in relief when I hear the voice. It’s not a random stranger and I’ve never been happier to see him. I turn to greet him with a real smile on my face and the car stops. It’s the first smile I’ve smiled since I got out of Logan’s car this morning. Without even the slightest hesitation I open the door and let myself relax and calm down a little.
“Why aren’t you in school?” I ask while holding myself back from throwing myself into his arms for comfort.
“I was worried about you. Amber said you weren’t feeling well and then you wasn’t answering your texts. Besides, schools boring. You’re much more fun.” He says with a cheeky grin on his face. I can’t help but smile in return.
“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for skipping?” I question him.
“No its fine. Honestly don’t worry about it. Anyway are you feeling better now? You look a little flustered? And what on earth were you doing in the forest by yourself?” He takes a turn that leads away from my house.
“Where are we going? I thought you were giving me a lift home?” I ask slightly confused.
“Hey I’m skipping school for you. The least you could do is eat some ice cream with me.” He winks at me and turns the music up as an upbeat song comes on. I find him so infectious that I can’t help but just laugh at him. He looks over at me and smiles an even bigger smile.
“Feeling better?” he asks. To which I nod my head.
“Yes, much. Thank you.” I gaze out window the rest of the way there and we just sit together, not needing to talk. Just happy to be there. This is what friendship is. It’s instantaneous; I realize that I have missed this since I’ve moved here. Amber’s great, but we don’t have ‘this’.
Whatever ‘this’ is.
We get to the ice cream parlor and get in the queue. It always surprises me that people, myself included, enjoy eating ice cream whatever the weather. Even when it snows. People still buy ice cream. I order one chocolate scoop and one honeycomb in a tub with nut sprinkles and jelly beans; Chris surprises me by just ordering vanilla. No sprinkles. No candy. Not even a wafer.
“Are you sure you don’t want any of my chocolate?” I ask him as we head to a table to sit down.
“No, I’m good thanks.” He answers and takes a seat opposite me.
“When you have all of these options here, why have you just had plain vanilla?”
“Its not plain” he says with a smile.
“Its vanilla, it the way ice cream was meant to be eaten.”
“You don’t prefer Chocolate or strawberry or
...” He stops me from naming twenty different flavors.
“No, I prefer Vanilla. When something is perfect, why change it?” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. His body is relaxed and casual but his eyes are focused completely on me. There is nothing casual about them and I’m sure there is a double meaning to his words.
I like what he says though and a smile slowly makes it way on my face and I decide to steal a little of his ice cream. He just watches me and doesn’t say anything. But the way he is looking at me is starting to make my cheeks heat so I look down and concentrate on my own tub.
“So what were you thinking about in the forest today? You must have been in there a long time. Amber said you text just before the bell went this morning.”
“Umm, nothing really important. I just felt like getting away. That’s all.” I don’t look up from my ice cream. I’m not sure if he will be able to see that there were more reasons than I’m letting on.
River Falls: The Wolves Page 15