River Falls: The Wolves

by Lizzie Wildblood

  “You know, next time you want to get away. You could just call me and I could drive you somewhere. You don’t have to go hide away in the forest.” He reaches across the table and trails a single finger over my hand holding the spoon. I’m honestly not too sure what I think about him touching me like this, but I also don’t want to upset him so I bring my hand to my mouth to carry on eating my melting ice cream, and he just leaves his hand on the table beside my bowl.

  “I might just do that. It's not the comfiest place to sleep you know.” I say casually not really paying attention to what I’m saying. His eyebrows raise up and he sits up straighter in his chair and pulls his hands back over to his side of the table.

  “You fell asleep? In the forest? Do you know how dangerous that is? There are wolves and bears and...”

  ‘You are mine princess, never forget.’

  Oh I know full well how dangerous it was.

  “I know.” I cut in.

  “I didn’t mean to. I suppose I was just tired that’s all. It just sort of happened.” I say, more careful about what words are coming out of my mouth this time. I don’t want him to know about the note.

  “Next time, really, just call me. Okay? We can go do something that involves less chance of you being eaten by a wild animal.” He has his serious face on. It doesn’t happen very often, but I can tell he is meaning everything that he is saying.

  “I will do that. I promise.” I say and without even thinking of what I’m doing I reach over to cover his hand with my own.

  “You had better. Do we need to get going if I’m going to teach you how to drive that truck of yours? What time do we need to be done by? You had plans after right?” He asks while he starts getting out of his chair.

  “Yeah, about that I don’t have plans after any more, so...” I say quietly.

  “So... I could take you out to the cinema or something?” He takes two steps forward so he’s right in front of me when I stand up from the table. I have to look up so I can see his face when I talk to him.

  “I wouldn’t mind doing the ‘or something’, I don’t think I’m in the mood for going out to the cinema tonight. Is that ok?” I ask.

  “Sure, what ever you want.” He replies placing his arm around my shoulders and guiding me out the parlor to his car. He sounds a little bit shocked that I agreed to spend more time with him. I’m a little shocked myself.

  ‘You are mine princess, never forget’

  The note pops into my head again and I grip my bag where it’s hidden a little tighter and I take a look around to see if I can see anyone who looks suspicious. Chris notices a change in me and looks down at me questioningly. I do the only thing that at this precise moment makes me feel safer. I smile reassuringly at him and I tuck myself into him more securely.

  I think that’s why I agreed to spend more time with him. I don’t want to admit it to myself but what happened this morning has scared me. I don’t want to be on my own and only two people I know make me feel safe. But one of them I don’t want to see right now.

  So at the moment I only have one plan.

  I have to stay near to Chris.

  We arrived back at my house and Chris instructed me to go and get the keys for the car straight away. I think he could tell that I was nervous and didn’t want me to change my mind.

  Now we are sat in the car and I’m just sitting here. Not talking. Not driving. Not doing anything. Chris is just sat patiently next to me. After five minutes of silence, he breaks it.

  “Alex, we don’t have to do this you know. We can just do it another time. Or never if you don’t want to.” He’s looking at me with a concerned frown on his face.

  “No, I want to. I need to. I’m going to do this. I just need a few minutes. I can do this.” I say to him, but the last part is mostly just a quiet whisper to myself. I can see him nodding his head and he just waits patiently again. After a few more minutes I turn the key in the ignition, and I notice Chris look up at me with a huge smile on his face. He looks proud too. It’s a good feeling to think that I have made him proud.

  “Okay, now what?” I ask hesitantly.

  “Alright, well the only thing that is different from what you are used to, is your feet and the gears. The way you steer, signal, use your mirrors, all stays the same. So it’s not like you’ve got to learn it all, all over again. You just need to get used to using both feet.” He says it like he has a lot more confidence in me than I have in myself. I slowly nod my head and wiggle both my feet.

  “Okay, so you have to put your left foot on the clutch, this one here” he says while pointing into the foot well of the car.

  “All the way to the floor and move the gear shift into first.” He goes on to explain how to do it. And has me practice putting the gearshift into each of the gear places so I am familiar with where they should be. I start to practice getting it into first and raising my foot from the clutch. I stall it a couple times but finally find the right place where I need to lift the clutch to, to pull off slowly and smoothly. I start to drive around the yard. I’m so happy. I did it. I really did it.

  However the car now sounds like its about to die on me. I give Chris a worried look of panic, to which he just laughs.

  “You need to put it in second. You can’t drive everywhere in first. While you’re still moving, push the clutch right down to the floor and at the same time ease off the gas, and change from first to second.” He coaches me easily.

  Okay, maybe I can’t do it. The car comes to a jerky stop.

  “You’re doing great babe, don’t worry. Just restart the car and go again. It’s just going to take a little practice that’s all. But when you’ve got it, you’ll be great.” I notice his use of the word babe but don’t comment on it, I have more important things on my mind than nicknames. Like driving.

  “I’m glad you’re so positive, because I’m not to sure.” I reply, a little disappointed that I couldn’t just do it straight away like I thought I would be able to.

  We spend another hour going through the gear changes while the car was actually moving and I’m much better by the end, Although, I’ve still not been out on the road, I think that’s a challenge for another day. Hearing his stomach asking for food I decide to ask him if he wants to stay for something to eat. He seems totally shocked by my asking, but can’t stop a big grin form appearing.

  “Yeah if you’re sure you and your aunt won’t mind.” I shake my head and walk around the truck heading for the front door.

  “No she won’t mind, and I need to say thank you.”

  “Alex, you really don’t have to say thank you. This is what friends do.”

  “And is that what we are? Friends?” I stop walking and ask him.

  “I’d like to think we are. I hope we are.” He looks to me questioningly. I smile up to him.

  “Yes, I’d like to think that we are too. Friends. And thank you. I do need to say it.” I say honestly.

  “Okay, well you’re welcome.” I just nod to what he says and go to carry on walking, but he gently pulls on my elbow to guide me back to him.

  “So you know how we’re friends now, I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanted to talk to someone I’m here. I know I’m a guy and that I sometimes, well most of the time, I joke around, but I’m here. Okay?”

  “Yeah okay, thanks Chris.” I go to carry on walking but he stops me again.

  “I know there’s more to why you didn’t want to drive today. I could see it when you were sat there before you turned the key. But you overcame whatever it was. I just wanted to say well done and again when you’re ready to talk about it just let me know. I’m all ears.” I am sincerely touched by what he has just said and also shocked that he has noticed so much. I reach up and kiss him lightly on the cheek and then continue to walk into the house, he stands watching me walk in front of him for a few seconds before he catches up with me.

  “So do you want me to order pizza or I can cook us something?” I ask him going ove
r to the fridge to see what’s available to us. He comes walking up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders peering into the fridge too.

  “You can cook and you’re hot?” I laugh and nod my head.

  “Marry me?” I laugh harder and elbow him gently in the stomach.

  “What, I’m serious?” I grab some chicken and veggies from the fridge and put them on the counter.

  “Wash your hands, you can help. I’ll teach you how to cook.” I tell him.

  “Hey, who said I need you to teach me. Maybe... I can teach you a thing or two.” He says folding his muscular arms across his chest. Which just accentuates the size of his body.

  “What you’re hot and you can cook?” I sound surprised, repeating what he had just said to me.

  “Sit back and point me in the direction of the pans and you can see for yourself.” I point out the cupboard with the pans and take a seat at the table.

  “You are just full of surprises today Chris.” I say leaning back in my chair and watch him start to cook for me. He stops what he’s doing, turns around and walks slowly towards me, when he reaches me he puts his hands on either side of the seat back on the chair. Caging me in. He pulls his face in close to mine so our noses are almost touching.

  “I’m full of surprises everyday. You just don’t notice them. You should pay more attention.” He whispers to me then plants a quick kiss on the tip of my nose, grins at me and saunters back over to the kitchen to start cooking.

  We eat our food at the table and then just sit in the lounge and watch a film. It’s nice. It’s comfortable. It’s easy.

  No tingles. No electricity. No sparks. No Logan.

  It’s just so easy.

  “Thank you for today Chris. I had a pretty crappy morning but it didn’t turn out to be a horrible day in the end so thanks.” I place my arms around his waist and give him a hug as we stand by my front door when he is leaving after the film finishes. To which he wraps his large arms around my small frame and hugs me in return. I feel him pace a kiss to the top of my head.

  “You’re very welcome. You need a ride to school tomorrow?” he asks without letting go of me.

  “Yes please, I don’t think I’m quite ready to face people on the roads.” I say stepping away from him and he releases me from his hold. He just smirks and nods his head.

  “You would be totally fine, but no problem I’ll swing by on my way to school and pick you up.” He makes his way down the porch steps towards his truck and gets in. Once the engine is turned on he puts his window down and leans out.

  “Hey Alex” He calls to me.

  “Yeah” I answer.

  “I had a good day today too. See you in the morning.” I wave to him as he drives off and I watch his tail lights disappear at the end of the drive and head back inside.

  Once I’m inside however, all that has happened this morning hits me and I realise that I’m alone. I notice a dull ache in the centre of my chest. It’s been there since this morning but when I was with Chris I somehow managed to not notice it as much. I decide the best thing for me to do is to just go to bed where I hopefully can forget what’s happened today.

  ◆◆◆

  I sit up quickly in bed. Panting and covered in a sheen of sweat. I just witnessed my parent’s die again. It was one of the worst nightmares this time. I actually see their car crash. I watch their faces as they go up in flames and I’m powerless to stop it from happening. I grab my phone to see what the time is. About an hour earlier than I would normally get up, but I don’t want to go back to sleep, in case another dream takes me. I get up and walk over to my doors to get some much-needed fresh air to cool my burning skin. I lean on the balcony edge and just watch the clouds over the mountains, as dawn breaks through.

  I wonder what its like to feel that free. To just float around while looking at the most magnificent view. The air blows a little and I notice that something is tickling my bare feet. Looking down to see what it is, my heart stops beating and a small-strangled cry leaves my lips.

  A hand full of flowers is on my balcony floor. They have been tied together in a handmade bouquet.

  Small white flowers.

  Like the one that was left with the note.

  I will my feet to move, to take me to the safety of my room, but they don’t move. Instead my knees give out and I find myself falling to the floor so I am kneeling amongst them. My hand stretches out slowly to touch them. To make sure they are real. I pinch my arm to make sure I can feel it and that I’m not just in another bad dream.

  I can feel it. I can feel them. I’m awake. They are real.

  'You are mine Princess. Never forget.'

  The note speaks clear in my head, in the unfamiliar voice from the forest. I suddenly realize that there are worse things in life than bad dreams. At least I know that a dream is just that.

  A dream. It can’t hurt my physical body. Just my heart and mind.

  These flowers show me that maybe there is something out there that could hurt me more than my dreams.

  A howl sounds out and echo’s around in my head for what seems like hours. I slowly rise to my knees and peer over the top of the balcony looking into my yard and for the second time this morning it feels like my heart has stopped beating and my breathing has ceased.

  I am not alone.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Shatter

  I rise from my knees to a standing position, without taking my eyes from the intruder in my yard.

  Stood tall and proud is the grey wolf from a few nights ago. At his feet is more of the same white flower that’s on my balcony. The same white flower that was in my bag.

  He takes a step forward as if to make sure that I know, he knows I have seen him.

  He howls loudly then bends his head down and picks up some of the flowers in his mouth, turns and walks away. I feel like he wants me to know that he has placed the flowers at my feet, and if it was a man stood there, that’s exactly what I would have thought, but that’s not possible. He, it, whatever it is, is an animal, it can’t have done it.

  No, whoever placed these flowers here is the same person who wrote the note. That means they know where I live. Where I sleep. When the realisation hits me, I hurry back inside and lock my doors behind me. I jump back into bed and pull the covers around me, suddenly feeling very cold. Without thinking I grab my phone and pull up Logan’s number to call. I need to feel safe and he is my safety. Something inside me just knows it. It’s like a natural reaction.

  I press the call button, then instantly hit the end call button before it even calls out once.

  No Alex, you can’t call him. Remember yesterday. He doesn’t want you...

  My memories of yesterday morning come flooding back to me. Along with big fat tears that roll down my cheeks. Right along with the tears comes the anger; at Logan for leading me on. He did tell me I was his, more than once, he made it very clear that he wanted me. I know I didn’t misread him. But then as soon as he realised he was kissing me in full view of people at school, he became ashamed of me.

  I know I’m worth more than that. My self-esteem isn’t that low; I won’t be with someone who is ashamed of me. With someone, who doesn’t want people at school to see me with him. No matter how good it feels to be within arms reach of him.

  I try telling myself I’m wrong, that it’s something else. He isn’t ashamed of me, but then why didn’t he call yesterday? Not even a single text. I have all the answers I need. I don’t want to hear any of the excuses he will make.

  Instead I head to the shower to calm myself down and to try and remove the chill that has crept into my bones.

  While drying my hair, the glorious smell of coffee makes its way under my nose and I realise that aunt Sara must be up. I quickly finish getting ready and then make my way downstairs.

  “Good morning sunshine. You’re up early. You okay?” She asks concerned and walks over to me for a hug. I didn’t know just how much I was in need of one and hug her back trying
not to cling to her as tight as I want to, but the shower didn’t remove as much as the chill as I wanted it to.

  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Do you feel better after yesterday? Are you alright for school?” She questions me again. I blink back my tears before letting go of her, thankful that none escaped.

  “Nothings wrong, I just missed you. That’s all. I feel like I haven’t seen you all week. How’s the piece going?” She answers my questions and we sit and chat over coffee and muffins, but I can tell she knows something is wrong. She’s just like her sister, very observant and picks up on everything. Thankfully she is too bogged down with work right now to really push for answers. I’m not too sure she would actually push for them the way my mum would have anyway.