“Honestly it fine, lets just say we are equal,” I say to him with a small smile. I wait for his reply but he just looks at me intently as if I were the one supposed to reply to him. After a few moments of awkward silence and decide to make a break for it.
“Okay, well sorry again” I say slightly confused as to why he was just staring at me. I make a step to go around him and it seems to snap him out of whatever trance he was in.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that you look really familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?” He says with a smile cocking his head to the side as if changing the angle he looked at me would give him an answer.
“No I don’t believe so. I think I would remember” I talk sometimes without thinking about how things sound. A large smile plasters his face and his eyebrows rise up questioningly.
“Really? You would remember me would you?” oh he is just full of confidence. I would say maybe even slightly more than Chris.
“I, uh” I don’t actually know what to say, but he saves me any further embarrassment by offering his free hand for me to shake.
“Scott” he says, his voice practically purring. I seem to have abandoned all rational thought about giving out my name to stranger, as my hand seems to act of its own accord.
“Alex” he holds my hand for a little longer than what would normally be acceptable, and I have to tug my hand gently back. He doesn’t seem to mind, he just stands there again just staring at me which even though he is really hot, I’m starting to find a little creepy.
“Okay well I should be going. Nice meeting you Scott.” He nods his head at me in acknowledgement and allows me to step around him and I don’t quite catch his response as he says it quietly as if it’s just to himself.
“Nice to see you too princess”
◆◆◆
I choose a double chocolate brownie and a hazelnut latte, and make my way to one of the comfy chairs that run down the side of the café. I took longer in the bookshop than I had anticipated and I’m trying to decide if I am still going to text Logan asking him to meet with me, or if I can use the excuse of not having enough time now. I know I’m just trying to make up a valid excuse to not have to see him. I’m not sure I will fully be able to trust myself to say what I want and need to say to him. I grab my phone and try to type out a message to send to him as a large bag knocks into my table spilling my drink, unfortunately my new books were also on the table and for the second time today Scott is apologizing me to.
“I’m so sorry, this bag just..... Oh hey Alex. I didn’t realize it was you. I’m really sorry”
“It's fine no harm done” I say taking some napkins to mop up the drink and try to wipe the excess liquid from my new books.
“Oh no, your books, I’ll get you some new ones, and a new drink. What were you having?” he seems so flustered and less confident than what he was at the bookstore, it sort of makes him seem cuter. You know a six-foot, well-muscled, hot cute guy.
“Honestly Scott its fine.” He holds his hands up.
“No I insist, my momma would turn in her grave if she knew I had knocked over a ladies drink and not paid for a new one.” I just smile at him. Now he’s not just staring at me he does seem quite sweet.
“Okay, well we wouldn’t want that, it was a hazelnut latte” A large smiles appears on his face. And he tells me he will be right back.
A few minuets later he returns with a fresh drink and a cookie and places them both in front of me.
“Thank you, you really didn’t have to. Especially the cookie.” I say politely.
“No really, I did. You didn’t know my momma. Well I’ll leave you to enjoy your drink” he says and starts looking around for a table to sit at. I look around too and see that there aren’t any empty tables.
“Would you like to sit with me?” I ask him. He starts to shake his head gently.
“I wouldn’t want to impose,” he says while looking around the busy café again.
“Well now I am insisting, this table is plenty big enough for both of us and I have an extra chair. It's perfect.” I say with a smile and tap the chair next to me.
“If your sure?” its almost like he is two different people, the one from the book store and the one now sat at my table. This version is definitely less creepy.
“So did you find what you were looking for at the bookstore today?” he asks me, to which I nod my head.
“I did, I didn’t really go for anything in particular. I was just looking for any book that I liked the sound of. How about you?” I enquired.
“Yeah the same as you really.” He replied vaguely.
“So I have one question.... What were you looking for in the girly chic lit section?” I ask teasingly.
“Well I do like books, but in that section I was actually looking for a book for my little sister. She’s not been too well lately and she’s getting bored.” He looks down as he talks like he doesn’t really want to talk about it so I don’t question him anymore on it.
“Would you like half my cookie? I already had a brownie, don’t think I could get away with eating them both.” I hold out half of the cookie he bought, and he takes it from me.
“I will have it thanks but only because I have a weakness for fresh cookies, not because you can’t get away with eating it. You could probably get away with eating ten.” He says with a small chuckle that causes me to blush.
“Is that a blush I see on your cheeks? What you can’t honestly tell me that you aren’t used to getting comments like that thrown at you. You’re beautiful. I bet your boyfriend tells you that all the time.” I look down blushing again.
“I actually don’t have a boyfriend” But I do have a Logan, my mind instantly speaks to me.
“You don’t? Well maybe we should do something about that.” He says with a cheeky smile, he really is cockier than Chris. We sit and talk for a while longer, until I cant take anymore of his cheesy but friendly chat up lines and I have tears in my eyes from laughing at him, but I’m starting to feel guilty for some reason for flirting with him. Even though we are only joking around it still feels wrong.
I start to put my books and things away in my bag and get ready to leave.
“Can I have your phone number?” he asks boldly. I know we have just been sat talking for almost the past hour but I start to get a niggling feeling about giving him my number. He must see me thinking it over.
“Hey, forget I asked okay, sorry I shouldn’t have. I just had a really nice time chatting with you today and you are really beautiful so you can’t blame a guy for trying.” He politely says with a smile and a shrug of his shoulders. He gathers his things together as well as before I change my mind I quickly take out my note pad and write my number on a page before tearing it out and handing it over to him. He accepts it with a big grin on his face.
“Right well I best be off. I’ll go brush up on my one liners so I can impress you better next time” he says with a chuckle.
“Please no, if you are ever going to get a girl, you need to forget about all of them.” I say laughing at him when he puts his hand to his chest in mock shock.
“What you mean to tell me that none of them worked on you?” I don’t say anything, just carry on laughing.
“It’s been nice meeting you today, thanks for my coffee and half cookie. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” I nod my head to him in goodbye and walk out of the café not quite hearing his mumbled response for the second time today.
“I’ll be seeing you soon princess”
Chapter Sixteen
Three Little Words
What was a beautiful sunny morning has turned into an overcast afternoon, and I’m starting to regret my decision to walk this morning. Maybe I should have taken the plunge and just drove. I need to do it at some point and Chris has said that he can’t see an issue with it. He has complete faith in me that I can drive without hurting anyone.
My main problem however is that sometimes I think I am ready t
o drive, but then at night I’ll have a nightmare and all my fears just come flooding back. When I’m alone at night I get restless. I’m not sleeping that great, I get the feeling that something is missing, but I get ready for school and push through and I’m generally with someone all day, mainly Amber or Chris. However when I’m alone is when the aching in my body starts. I have to will my self to go to sleep just so that I can stop my mind wandering to Logan.
Logan... I need to sort that issue out. Maybe I should still go ahead with my plan of confronting him today. I’ve had an okay morning, I’m still not sure why I gave my number to Scott and I actually wish I hadn’t now, but what’s done is done. He probably will never call anyway.
Before I can talk myself out of it I quickly send Logan a text.
Alex: can we talk?
I keep my phone in my hand waiting for a reply. He doesn’t keep me waiting for long.
Logan: Yes. Where are you?
Alex: Just walking home from town. Meet me there in about an hour.
I drop my phone back into my bag. I could’ve done with more time to mentally prepare myself for what is to come. Part of me wants him to admit that he is doing it, that he is sending the notes and the little flowers, and then I can put a stop to it all. But there is still a part of me that wants it to not be him. That’s believing it’s not him. And that scares me. It scares me because despite the flowers and notes, and not even spending any time with him, somehow my feelings for him just keep growing. I can’t seem to stop them and if I don’t have the notes as a reason to stay away from him, I don’t think I actually will be able to stay away.
It also scares me, because if it isn’t him... who is it?
I’m just over half way home and I hear a truck pull up beside me causing me to stop walking. I can see the black truck from the corner of my eye. I know who it is with out even looking.
“Alexia, please get in. You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself. Do you not read the news?” His voice. It’s like honey to my soul. It’s been so long since I have heard it, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I turn to face him and he just looks at me, like I’m the very air he needs to breathe.
“Please?” Just that one word has me going weak in my knees. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Without saying a word I open the door and get in.
After driving for about ten minutes in silence I suddenly take notice of where we are and of where we are not.
We are not at my home and we are now going in the wrong direction. Panic starts to set in. This was stupid of me. Why did I get in his car?
“Logan, where are you taking me? I thought we were going to talk at my house?” I turn to look at him and I can see that he has a death grip on the steering wheel. His knuckles are turning white with the force he is holding on. He’s not instilling in me the usual sense of calm and safety I get when I’m around him.
“I thought we could go back to the place where I took you that first time we went out for the day. Do you remember?” he says without looking at me. He’s not acting like himself and he is scaring me.
“I remember Logan.” The second his name leaves my lips he takes a sharp intake of breath and if it’s possible his grip gets even tighter.
“I want to go home Logan. Take me home.” Somehow my voice manages to sound more stable than I feel inside. I feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.
“Do you trust me Alexia?” The way he says it, makes it sound so simple. Trust.
But trust is never simple is it?
“What?” I question him, unsure of what else to say.
“Do you trust me? Yes or no?” There it is again, simplicity. Do I trust him? A few weeks ago I wouldn’t have hesitated in answering him. Now I’m not so sure my answer would be the same one. He’s waiting for my answer. I don’t want to give it to him though as I dont know what his reaction will be. I can’t lie to him. Something within me prevents me from doing so.
He’s just driving, waiting for my answer. He hasn’t looked at me once since I got into to car. But I look at him now. I need to make sure I’m prepared for what will happen when I answer him.
I need to be certain of him, because whatever will follow is a huge uncertainty.
“Maybe. I’m not sure any more” I finally say and release the breath I was holding.
He doesn’t say anything just nods his head once and carries on driving. But the edges of his lips tilt upwards slightly into the tiniest of smiles.
I think I should have just said no.
We arrived at the same spot where we parked the first time we came here. We did a lot more talking that first time though. He parks his truck and gets out silently, I take a peek at him before I get out. He’s taking in deep breaths of air like he can’t get enough. I open the door to get out and as usual he is already there waiting to help me down.
I swing my legs out the door to step down but he places his hands on either side of my waist and slowly lifts me out, making me gasp and I automatically place my hands on his broad shoulders. He just stands there piercing me with his eyes. My heart rate has just trebled in speed.
“Are you alright Alexia?” he asks me. His voice is more husky than usual. If its possible I like his voice like this the best.
I can’t help but stare into his eyes. He has me hypnotised. Any reason of why I am actually here has gone completely out of my mind. I nod my head finally.
“You seem nervous. Do I make you nervous Alexia?” I manage to tear my eyes away from him and his spell breaks a little.
Does he make me nervous?... umm yeah.
His hands are still holding onto me as if he is scared that if he lets me go, I will run away.
Maybe I should.
“You can let go of me now Logan. I’m out safe and sound.” In response he just pulls me closer to him so our bodies are touching. He doesn’t say anything. I have to lean back a little and tilt my head to look at him. In this position though I can feel his heart beat. It’s faster than it should be.
Do I make him nervous?
“Are you alright Logan?” I ask. Repeating his question back to him.
He rests his head on top of mine and takes a deep breath in.
“I am now” is his answer, and makes no attempt to move.
His next word brings me back to my senses and makes me realise how foolish it was of me to come here with him. But for some unfathomable reason, my earlier panic has gone and I feel the safest I have felt in a very long time, right here in his arms.
He says the word so quietly; I don’t think he actually means me to hear it. Its almost like he is just talking to himself.
“Mine.”
I stiffen when he says it and I place my hands in between us and gently push him away.
“Logan I think it was a mistake coming here. I think we should go back.” I can’t look at him when I speak. I just keep my head down. He places his finger underneath my chin and lifts my head to look at him.
“Why?” he asks me softly. He looks hurt by what I have just said.
“Why?” I repeat back to him. Why does my brain turn to mush around him?
“Why was it a mistake coming here with me?”
“I, I, we... need to talk.” I finally manage to stutter out.
“Just breathe Alexia,” he says gently while moving his hand to cup my face and rubs his thumb over my cheek.
I release a breath and push harder on his chest so he does take a step back this time. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me along after him.
“Lets go talk” he says while maneuvering our hands so our fingers become entwined together.
We walk in silence to the lake. My whole body is humming with the constant contact with Logan and I notice that as we walk he is becoming more relaxed. Less tense.
We get to the lake and I gasp at its beauty. I’d forgotten how stunning it was here.
He leads us over to a large smooth rock to sit on, and pulls me down to sit beside him. My mind wonders to t
he other girl I’ve seen him with and I imagine him sat here with her. I get an unpleasant feeling my stomach.
Jealousy.
“So how’s your girlfriend?” It’s out of my mouth before I can even process the thought through my mind. I can’t believe I just asked him that. I sound jealous. Even I know I do.
“My Girlfriend? Alexia I already told you that Tara and I aren’t...” I don’t even give him time to finish his sentence.
“I’m not talking about Tara. I mean the other one. Your intended...” I pull my hand out of his grasp.
River Falls: The Wolves Page 19