Eine Kleine Nachtmusik

by Fredric Brown

  Dooley looked around till he caught the little waiter’s eye and signaled to him. When he came, Dooley asked him to take a glass of wine to the musician, and also to ask the man if he would care to join him at Dooley’s table, to tell him that Dooley too was a musician and would like to get to know him.

  “I don’t think he will,” the waiter told him. “People have tried before and he always politely refused. As for the wine, it is not necessary; several times an evening we pass a hat for him. Someone is starting to do so now, and you may contribute that way if you wish.”

  “I wish,” Dooley told him. “But take him the wine and give him my message anyway, please.”

  “Ja, mein Herr.”

  The waiter collected a mark in advance and then went to one of the three tuns and drew a glass of wine and took it to the musician. Dooley, watching, saw the waiter put the glass on the musician’s table and, talking, point toward Dooley. So there would be no mistake, Dooley stood up and made a slight bow in their direction.

  The musician stood also and bowed back, slightly more deeply and from the waist. But then he turned back to his table and sat down again and Dooley knew his first advance had been declined. Well, there’d be other chances, and other evenings. So, only slightly discomfited, he sat back down again and took another sip of his wine. Yes, even without the music, or at any rate with only the aftereffects of the music, it still tasted wonderful.

  The hat came, “For the musician,” passed by a stolid red-faced burgher, and Dooley, seeing no large bills in it and not wishing to make himself conspicuous, added two marks from his little pile on the table.

  Then he saw a couple getting up to leave from a table for two directly in front of the stool upon which the musician sat to play. Ah, just what he wanted. Quickly finishing his drink and gathering up his change and his clarinet, he moved over to the ringside table as the couple walked away. Not only could he see and hear better, but he was in the ideal spot to intercept the musician with a personal invitation after the next set. And instead of putting it on the floor he put his clarinet case on the table in plain sight, to let the man know that he was not only a fellow musician, which could mean almost anything, but a fellow woodwind player.

  A few minutes later he got a chance to signal for another glass of wine and when it was brought he held the little waiter in conversation. “I gather our friend turned down my invitation,” he said. “May I ask what his name is?”

  “Otto, mein Herr.”

  “Otto what? Doesn’t he have a last name?”

  The waiter’s eyes twinkled. “I asked him once. Niemand, he told me. Otto Niemand.”

  Dooley chuckled. Niemand, he knew, meant “nobody” in German. “How long has he been playing here?” he asked.

  “Oh, just tonight. He travels around. Tonight is the first we’ve seen him in almost a year. When he comes, it’s just for one night and we let him play and pass the hat for him. Ordinarily we don’t have music here, it’s just a wine cellar.”

  Dooley frowned. He’d have to make sure, then, to make contact tonight.

  “Just a wine cellar,” the little waiter repeated. “But we also serve sandwiches if you are hungry. Ham, knackwurst, or beer cheese.”

  Dooley hadn’t been listening and interrupted. “How soon will he play again? Does he take long between sets?”

  “Oh, he plays no more tonight. A minute ago, just as I was bringing your wine, I saw him leave. We may not see him again for a long …”

  But Dooley had grabbed his clarinet case and was running, running as fast as he could make it on a twisting course between tables. Through the door without even bothering to close it, and up the stone steps to the sidewalk. The fog wasn’t so thick now, except in patches. But he could see niemand in either direction. He stood utterly still to listen. All he could hear for a moment were sounds from the wine cellar, then blessedly someone pulled shut the door he’d left open and in the silence that followed he thought, for a second, that he could hear footsteps to his right, the direction from which he had come.

  He had nothing to lose, so he ran that way. There was a twist in the street and then a corner. He stopped and listened again, and—that way, around the corner, he thought he heard the steps again and ran toward them. After half a block he could see a figure ahead, too far to recognize but thank God tall and thin; it could be the musician. And past the figure, dimly through the fog he could see lights and hear traffic noises. This must be the turn he had missed in trying to follow the hotel clerk’s directions for finding the downtown bright-lights district, or as near to such as a town this size might have.

  He closed the distance to a quarter of a block, opened his mouth to call out to the figure ahead and found that he was too winded to call out. He dropped his gait from a run to a walk. No danger of losing the man now that he was this close to him. Getting his breath back, he closed the distance between them slowly.

  He was only a few paces behind the man—and, thank God, it was the musician—and was lengthening his strides to come up alongside him and speak when the man stepped down the curb and started diagonally across the street. Just as a speeding car, with what must have been a drunken driver, turned the corner behind them, lurched momentarily, then righted itself on a course bearing straight down on the unsuspecting musician. In sudden reflex action Dooley, who had never knowingly performed a heroic act in his life, dashed into the street and pushed the musician from the path of the car. The impetus of Dooley’s charge sent him crashing down on top of the musician and he sprawled breathlessly in this shielding position as the car passed by so close that it sent out rushing fingers of air to tug at his clothing. Dooley raised his head in time to see the two red eyes of its taillights vanishing into the fog a block down the street.

  Dooley listened to the drumming roll of his heart in his ears as he rolled aside to free the musician and both men got slowly to their feet.

  “Was it close?”

  Dooley nodded, swallowed with difficulty. “Like a shave with a straight razor.”

  The musician had taken his instrument from under his coat and was examining it. “Not broken.,” he said. But Dooley, realizing that his own hands were empty, whirled around to look for his clarinet case. And saw it. He must have dropped it when he raised his hands to push the musician. A front wheel and a back wheel of the car must each have run over it, for it was flattened at both ends. The case and every section of the clarinet were splintered, useless junk. He fingered it a moment and then walked over and dropped it into the gutter.

  The musician came and stood beside him. “A pity,” he said softly. “The loss of an instrument is like the loss of a friend.” An idea was coming to Dooley, so he didn’t answer, but managed to look sadder than he felt. The loss of the clarinet was a blow in the pocketbook, but not an irrevocable one. He had enough to buy a used, not-so-hot one to start out with and he’d have to work harder and spend less for a while until he could get a really good one like the one he’d lost. Three hundred it had cost him. Dollars, not marks. But he’d get another clarinet all right. Right now, though, he was much much more interested in getting the German musician’s hautboy, or one just like it. Three hundred dollars, not marks, was peanuts to what he’d give for that. And if the old boy felt responsible and offered …

  “It was my fault,” the musician said. “For not looking. I wish I could afford to buy you a new— It was a clarinet, was it not?”

  “Yes,” Dooley said, trying to sound like a man on the brink of despair instead of one on the brink of the greatest discovery of his life. “Well, what’s kaput is kaput. Shall we go somewhere for a drink, and have a wake?”

  “My room,” said the musician. “I have wine there. And we’ll have privacy so I can play a tune or two I do not play in public. Since you too are a musician.” He chuckled. “Eire Kleine Nachtmusik, eh? A little night-music—but not Mozart’s; my own.”

  Dooley managed to conceal his elation and to nod as though he didn’t care much. “
Okay, Otto Niemand. My name’s Dooley Hanks.”

  The musician chuckled. “Call me Otto, Dooley. I use no last name, so Niemand is what I tell any who insist on my having one. Come, Dooley; it isn’t far.”

  It wasn’t far, just a block down the next side street. The musician turned in at an aged and darkened house. He opened the front door with a key and then used a small pocket flashlight to guide them up a wide but uncarpeted staircase. The house, he explained on the way, was unoccupied and scheduled to be torn down, so there was no electricity. But the owner had given him a key and permission to use it while the house still stood; there were a few pieces of furniture here and there, and he got by. He liked being in a house all by himself because he could play at any hour of the night without bothering anyone trying to sleep.

  He opened the door of a room and went in. Dooley waited in the doorway until the musician had lighted an oil lamp on the dresser, and then followed him in. Besides the dresser there was only a straight chair, a rocker and a single bed.

  “Sit down, Dooley,” the musician told him. “You’ll find the bed more comfortable than the straight chair. If I’m going to play for us, I’d like the rocker.” He was taking two glasses and a bottle out of the top drawer of the dresser. “I see I erred. I thought it was wine I had left; it is brandy. But that is better, no?”

  “That is better, yes,” said Dooley. He could hardly restrain himself from asking permission right away to try the hautboy himself, but felt it would be wiser to wait until brandy had done a little mellowing. He sat down on the bed.

  The musician handed Dooley a huge glass of brandy; he went back to the dresser and got his own glass and, with his instrument in his other hand, went to the rocker. He raised the glass. “To music, Dooley.”

  “To Nachtmusik,” said Dooley. He drank off a goodly sip, and it burned like fire, but it was good brandy. Then he could wait no longer. ” Otto, mind if I look at that instrument of yours? It’s a hautboy, isn’ t it?”

  “A hautboy, yes. Not many would recognize it, even musicians. But I’m sorry, Dooley. I can’t let you handle it. Or play it, if you were going to ask that, too. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is, my friend.”

  Dooley nodded and tried not to look glum. The night is young, he told himself; another drink or two of brandy that size may mellow him. Meanwhile, he might as well find out as much as he could.

  “Is it—your instrument, I mean, a real one? I mean, a medieval one? Or a modern reproduction?”

  “Imade it myself, by hand. A labor of love. But, my friend, stay with the clarinet, I advise you. Especially do not ask me to make you one like this; I could not. I have not worked with tools, with a lathe, for many years. I would find my skill gone. Are you skillful with tools?”

  Dooley shook his head. “Can’t drive a nail. Where could I find one, even something like yours?”

  The musician shrugged. “Most are in museums, not obtainable. You might find a few collections of ancient instruments in private hands, and buy one at an exorbitant price—and you might even find it still playable. But, my friend, be wise and stay with your clarinet. I advise you strongly.”

  Dooley Hanks could not say what he was thinking, and didn’t speak.

  “Tomorrow we will talk about’ finding you a new clarinet,” the musician said. “Tonight, let us forget it. And forget your wish for a hautboy, even your wish to play this one—yes, I know you asked only to touch and handle, but could you hold it in your hands without wanting to put it to your lips? Let us drink some more and then I will play for us. Prosit!”

  They drank again. The musician asked Dooley to tell something about himself, and Dooley did. Almost everything about himself that mattered except the one thing that mattered most—his obsession and the fact that he was making up his mind to kill for it if there was no other way.

  There was no hurry, Dooley thought; he had all night. So he talked and they drank. They were halfway through their third round—and the last round, since it finished the bottle—of brandy, when he ran out of talk and there was silence.

  And with a gentle smile the musician drained his glass, put it down, and put both hands on his instrument. “Dooley … would you like some girls?”

  Dooley suddenly found himself a little drunk. But he laughed. “Sure,” he said. “Whole roomful of girls. Blonds, brunettes, redheads.” And then because he couldn’t let a squarehead square beat him at drinking, he killed the rest of his brandy too, and lay back across the single bed with his shoulders and head against the wall. “Bring ’em on, Otto.”

  Otto nodded, and began to play. And suddenly the excruciating, haunting beauty of the music Dooley had last heard in the wine cellar was back. But a new tune this time, a tune that was lilting and at the same time sensual. It was so beautiful that it hurt, and Dooley thought for a moment fiercely: damn him, he’s playing my instrument; he owes me that for the clarinet I lost. And almost he decided to get up and do something about it because jealousy and envy burned in him like flames.

  But before he could move, gradually he became aware of another sound somewhere, above or under the music. It seemed to come from outside, on the sidewalk below, and it was a rapid click-click-clickety-click for all the world like the sound of high heels, and then it was closer and it was the sound of heels, many heels, on wood, on the uncarpeted stairway, and then—and this was all in time with the music—there was a gentle tap-tap at the door. Dreamily, Dooley turned his head toward the door as it swung open and girls poured into the room and surrounded him, engulfing him in their physical warmth and exotic perfumes. Dooley gazed in blissful disbelief and then suspended the disbelief; if this were illusion, let it be. As long as— He reached out with both hands, and yes, they could be touched as well as seen. There were brown-eyed brunettes, green-eyed blonds and black-eyed redheads. And blue-eyed brunettes, brown-eyed blonds and green-eyed redheads. They were all sizes from petite to statuesque and they were all beautiful.

  Somehow the oil lamp seemed to dim itself without completely going out, and the music, growing wilder now, seemed to come from somewhere else, as though the musician were no longer in the room, and Dooley thought that that was considerate of him. Soon he was romping with the girls in reckless abandon, sampling here and there like a small boy in a candy store. Or a Roman at an orgy, but the Romans never had it quite so good, nor the gods on Mount Olympus.

  At last, wonderfully exhausted, he lay back on the bed, and surrounded by soft, fragrant girlflesh, he slept.

  And woke, suddenly and completely and soberly, he knew not how long later. But the room was cold now; perhaps that was what had wakened him. He opened his eyes and saw that he was alone on the bed and that the lamp was again (or still?) burning normally. And the musician was there too, he saw when he raised his head, sound asleep in the rocking chair. The instrument was gripped tightly in both hands and that long red and yellow striped muffler was still around his scrawny neck, his head tilted backward against the rocker’s back.

  Had it really happened? Or had the music put him to sleep, so he’d dreamed it about the girls? Then he put the thought aside; it didn’t matter. What mattered, all that mattered, was that he was not leaving here without the hautboy. But did he have to kill to get it? Yes, he did. If he simply stole it from the sleeping man he wouldn’t stand a chance of getting out of Germany with it. Otto even knew his right name, as it was on his passport, and they’d be waiting for him at the border. Whereas if he left a dead man behind him, the body—in an abandoned house—might not be found for weeks or months, not until he was safe back in America. And by then any evidence against him, even his possession of the instrument, would be too thin to warrant extradition back to Europe. He could claim that Otto had given him the instrument to replace the clarinet he’d lost in saving Otto’s life. He’d have no proof of that, but they’d have no proof to the contrary.

  Quickly and quietly he got off the bed and tiptoed over to the man sleeping in the rocker and stood looking down at him.
It would be easy, for the means were at hand. The scarf, already around the thin neck and crossed once in front, the ends dangling. Dooley tiptoed around behind the rocker and reached over the thin shoulders and took a tight grip on each end of the scarf and pulled them apart with all his strength. And held them so. The musician must have been older and more frail than Dooley had thought. His struggles were feeble. And even dying he held onto his instrument with one hand and clawed ineffectually at the scarf only with the other. He died quickly.

  Dooley felt for a heartbeat first to make sure and then pried the dead fingers off the instrument. And held it himself at last.

  His hands held it, and trembled with eagerness. When would it be safe for him to try it? Not back at his hotel, in the middle of the night, waking other guests and drawing attention to himself.

  Why, here and now, in this abandoned house, would be the safest and best chance he’d have for a long time, before he was safely out of the country maybe. Here and now, in this house, before he took care of fingerprints on anything he might have touched and erased any other traces of his presence he might find or think of. Here and now, but softly so as not to waken any sleeping neighbors, in case they might hear a difference between his first efforts and those of the instrument’s original owner.

  So he’d play softly, at least at first, and quit right away if the instrument made with the squeaks and ugly noises so easy to produce on any unmastered instrument. But he had the strangest feeling that it wouldn’t happen that way to him. He knew already how to manage a double reed; once in New York he’d shared an apartment with an oboe player and had tried out his instrument with the thought of getting one himself, to double on. He’d finally decided not to because he preferred playing with small combos and an oboe fitted only into large groups. And the fingering? He looked down and saw that his fingers had fallen naturally in place over the finger-holes or poised above the keys. He moved them and watched them start, seemingly of their own volition, a little finger-dance. He made them stop moving and wonderingly put the instrument to his lips and breathed into it softly. And out came, softly, a clear, pure middle-register tone. As rich and vibrant a note as any Otto had played. Cautiously he raised a finger and then another and found himself starting a diatonic scale. And, on a hunch, made himself forget his fingers and just thought the scale and let his fingers take over and they did, every tone pure. He thought a scale in a different key and played it, then an arpeggio. He didn’t know the fingerings, but his fingers did.