Blood Shadows

by Lindsay J. Pryor

  She exhaled curtly as he pulled away. ‘No, you’re just using me to get to Xavier, just like Xavier used Arana. You’re no different. You’re both the same you and him. If anything of what you’ve said is true then he’s won. You’re as much a monster as he is and you’re going to prove it to everyone, just like you’re already proving it to me. You can’t even see that you’ve already lost. I couldn’t hate you more right now if I tried.’

  He turned to face her again.

  Her hands clenched, but she refused to move as he stepped up to her again.

  She flinched as he cupped her jaw, as he ran his thumb across her lips. But then he kissed her, a full, slow, lingering kiss that knocked her off guard until she tore her lips from his.

  ‘Hate, right?’ he said, the mocking clear in his eyes.

  She lifted her hand ready to swipe the infuriating smirk off his face, but he caught her wrist in an instant, pressed her hip back against the wall with his other hand, her glower clearly meaning nothing to him.

  ‘Do you really want to do this?’ he asked.

  She pulled on every reserve and every resolve. ‘My family have done nothing wrong. Legally or morally. Your sister had it coming, Kane. Just as you have.’

  Caitlin shivered in the passing moments as Kane’s attention remained painfully unwavering, his eyes disturbingly unreadable. She braced herself, fear consuming her to a point she was sure she stopped breathing.

  ‘Finished?’ he asked.

  The simplicity of his response made every hair stiffen on the back of her neck.

  He leaned closer as he pressed her wrist back against the wall beside her head. ‘Do you know what I’m seeing when I look into your eyes right now? One very desperate and very scared little girl who’s clutching at whatever she can. That’s the same look that your father, Max and Rob would have seen in my sister’s eyes when she realised what they had set up. So do I treat you the same way? Do I tie you to a post now? Do I torture you and rape you and beat you? Do I humiliate and degrade you? Do I leave you here for Max and Rob to find you? Will that make me feel better? Will that allow me to exact my revenge? No. Because the very thought of it sickens me to my stomach. Because I’m not the same even if you do want to convince yourself otherwise. I would never enact it nor would I stand by and allow it to happen. To anyone. That’s the difference between me and those you know and love, hard as it is for you to take. So you keep looking for an excuse to hate me and rebuild that wall around your heart, but I’m giving you no reason because you have none.’

  ‘No, you’re just planning to rip out my soul to use it to your own ends before shoving it back in so the soul ripper can get me. Where’s your morality in that, Kane? Tell me how I deserve that any more than Arana deserved what happened to her? You might have held back on what you could have done to me but that’s only because you’ve had to. You are still a brutal killer. Hide behind whatever mask or guise you want, I know what you are and I am going to give you one hell of a battle for my soul. Try and take it now. Go on – I dare you.’

  He assessed her eyes then smiled before releasing her and stepping away.

  ‘You know, don’t you?’ she said. ‘You know you’re not in there enough. You’ve tried every trick and you’ve failed. Less than a day to go and you haven’t won the heart of the one woman you need. And you’re not going to. Any self-respecting vampire would already be opting for plan B.’

  He stopped at the footboard, clutching it, his back still to her as she took a few steps closer.

  ‘Come on, Kane, you’re no hero so you might as well play the villain to the full. All that pent-up frustration must be fit to bursting point. You know what you want to do to me. It’s the only way you’re going to get any kind of payback for Arana and we both know it.’ She paused, her throat constricted in fear, in desperation. ‘If you loved her, you wouldn’t even be hesitating.’

  ‘Desperate, Caitlin. So desperate,’ he said quietly. He looked over his shoulder at her. ‘Because you’d have to be to even be contemplating what you’re suggesting.’ He turned to face her. ‘Taking one for the team who have got no respect for you anyway. For the people who care about you so deeply that they let you come after me knowing what I could do to you. Is that all you’re worth?’ He reached out and pulled her towards him, pressed her up against the bedpost. ‘Do you really want to call my bluff? Shall I call yours? One more little shove, Caitlin, and who knows what I’ll do.’

  But as she held his calm, intense gaze, she dropped her own in irritation.

  He gently caught hold of her jaw, forcing her to look back at him again. ‘Do you want to know how I know it was your father who was responsible? The soul ripper is passed on by a curse, Caitlin, not by chance. And it can only be incanted by the spilling of archaic blood. In this case, Arana’s. Now blame her if you choose, but ask yourself what you would have done in her situation? Gone out quietly or left a trail for your brother to follow? Xavier is to blame for this. And your father, Max and Robert were a willing part of it. Everyone’s using you, Caitlin. It just depends if you’re going to stand by those principles of yours, your claims of the selflessness of humanity, and let the right one win.’

  Caitlin felt the tears welling up behind her eyes. ‘My father was a good man.’

  ‘Your father was a dogmatic power seeker.’

  ‘You didn’t know him.’

  ‘I know he had a taste for female vampires.’

  ‘You’re a liar,’ she said as she lashed out to punch him in the arm, but he caught her hand. ‘Everything you say is a lie,’ she added, swiping with the other.

  He caught both. ‘Why? Because telling you these lies would help my cause? I’m telling you them because I think you deserve the truth.’

  ‘I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth,’ she snapped, trying to struggle free, but his grip was firm and unrelenting. She blinked away a tear of frustration. ‘Get off me!’

  ‘They allowed you to come after me because they think I don’t know about their dark little secret. They think they’ve got away with it. And as far as Xavier is concerned, everyone’s expendable on his quest for me. This is never going to stop unless I end it. You want to hate me? Try – but you already know that it makes sense. You understand why I’m doing this. Deep down you know I need to do this. Deep down you know I’m right.’

  She pulled away from him, rubbing the tears from her eyes with the heel of her palm as she limped across to the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her, she fell back against it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Jask was lying. Kane was lying. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.

  Caitlin’s body ran cold. If it were true, Max knew and had said nothing. He’d let her track Kane without any word of the history. Xavier, Max and Rob had all let her come there and not one of them had told her the truth. Not even Rob that night he had come around. But it explained why both had tried so vehemently to persuade her otherwise. And other things niggled such as Rob’s sudden departure from her life and his and Max’s fervent denial of any link between her parents’ deaths. Then there was Max’s insistence she shouldn’t take Kane’s case all those years ago.

  And those questions during the disciplinary interview. All Xavier and Max had wanted to know was what Kane had said: if he had mentioned why he wanted her. The same questions that Rob had asked when he came to her apartment the following night. They were worried. But why wouldn’t they be? Kane Malloy had her in his sights – of course they’d be worried. She clutched her head. He was toying with her mind – making her believe what he wanted her to believe. He was shifting the blame to her family so she’d feel no loyalty to them, so that she’d feel empathy with him. He was playing her and she was letting him.

  She needed Max there now. She needed to know that he and her father were not capable of such an atrocity. That Max would have cared enough about her to warn her rather than hide his dark and nasty secret. More so, that Rob would have done more to stop
her.

  She grabbed a bunch of toilet paper. She stepped up to the sink and ran the paper under the cold tap before dabbing the red patches and blemishes around her eyes, cooling her cheeks and calming her tears.

  But if Kane and Jask were telling her the truth, Xavier was responsible for the worst atrocities. And her father, Max and Rob had gone along with it. Xavier who could, at that moment, be on the way to collect Kane. And he wouldn’t let him go this time. Xavier could do anything to him – anything to the monster he was responsible for creating. Xavier who had encouraged her there even though he knew her life was at risk.

  If Kane was telling her the truth, every principle told her she had to tell him the VCU were on their way.

  But if he was lying…

  She used the toilet and washed her hands before slumping onto the bath steps. The cool night air was refreshing against her skin as the breeze tunnelled through the small gaps.

  There was only one way she’d know for sure and that was to look directly into Rob’s or Max’s eyes when she asked them. The only problem was, by then it would be too late.

  She looked across at the door as the handle turned.

  Kane leaned against the doorframe, gazing down at her with those beautiful navy eyes that captivated her so easily. As he sat down next to her, she turned to face him.

  ‘Let me out of here to confront Max and Rob. If you’re telling the truth, I’ll get the confessions out of them and I’ll go to the governing board. We’ll bring Xavier down that way. It’ll do him a hell of a lot more damage than setting the soul ripper on him. This plan you’ve got will point every finger in your direction. You will have every unit agent after you. It’ll be over for you. Xavier will still win. Vindicate yourself and vindicate Arana that way.’

  ‘And get it all cleared up by tomorrow night?’

  ‘It can be done if you let me go now. Because if you’re telling me the truth, I owe Xavier just as much for this as you do. I will see this through.’

  ‘You’re not going anywhere, Caitlin.’

  ‘I’ve done nothing wrong, Kane. You don’t need to make me suffer when there are alternatives.’

  ‘This has never been about making you suffer. But I am going to do this my way.’

  ‘And to hell with what happens to me?’ She exhaled curtly and moved to pull away from him, but he caught hold of her lower arm to keep her beside him.

  ‘What would you prefer, Caitlin? False promises like everyone else you know?’

  ‘And what then, Kane? When you get what you want: when you bring down Xavier and the VCU, the entire TSCD.’

  ‘This is about vengeance, Caitlin, not power.’

  ‘And you’ll just walk away?’

  ‘I will have done what I had to do.’

  ‘You’re not going to change your mind, are you?’

  His gaze was steady. ‘No.’

  The ache in her heart was all-consuming as she stared deep into his eyes. She wanted to tell him he’d regret it. She wanted to tell him that maybe in a matter of hours she’d be the only advocate he had. But it wasn’t the time for personal outbursts. And she couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. Because even then, even knowing the risk he posed to her and her family, she couldn’t help the pain in her chest. She had no option but to let them take him. Once she told them he knew about the soul ripper, they’d let her read him to find out how to kill it. It was the best she could hope for.

  ‘I was right the first time,’ she said. ‘You and Xavier are the same, using whoever you can to get what you want. Whatever justice you think you can assign to your actions, they’re embedded in the same justifications as his.’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, standing and stepping over to the door. ‘Believe what you want. It’ll make no difference.’

  ‘Don’t turn your back on me, Kane!’ she warned, following him out.

  ‘Turning my back on the great vampire hunter, hell no, we can’t have that.’ He turned to face her. ‘Despite the fact it’s been me protecting your arse the past seven years.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘What do you think it means? You think you would have survived this long without some protection? Especially when you took it on yourself to become a VCU agent.’

  Caitlin exhaled curtly. ‘I’ve achieved what I have on my own merits.’

  ‘You’re good, Caitlin, but you’re not that good. Come on, do you really think you would have survived in the field this long without some help? Like I’ve said before, it’s no place for a girl like you.’

  ‘Is that what Jask meant by a no-touch policy on me?’

  ‘You’ve got bubbles bursting all over the place tonight, haven’t you?’

  She couldn’t move for disbelief. ‘You bastard.’

  ‘Great – now I’m a bastard for keeping you safe.’

  ‘I am a damn good agent!’

  He stepped up to her. ‘And you’re also impetuous and obstinate and yes, at times, fucking suicidal. You ran in after me, remember? You think under any other circumstances I couldn’t have snapped your neck within seconds? You’re a survivor because I needed you to survive. You go on about my arrogance, but I’ve got nothing on you if you think you could have done this without me.’

  She stepped up to him. ‘I could have killed you if I’d wanted to. If I hadn’t needed you. Remember the hemlock in the handle? That could have been a lethal dose if I’d chosen it to be.’

  He exhaled tersely, his hands loose on his hips. ‘Darling, you’re forgetting you only got that close because I let you.’

  ‘Honey, the only reason you’re still alive is because we had orders that you had to remain that way.’

  ‘Exactly,’ Kane said. ‘From Xavier. Ask yourself why.’

  ‘Because you’re a master vampire.’

  ‘Because he wants me. For power. How much do you want the truth to bite you on the arse, Caitlin, before you accept it? Your boss has used you, your stepfather has deceived you, your boyfriend abandoned you and your father caused the death of your mother. Those are the truths here.’

  She stood there, unable to contain her trembling, unable to contain her tears any longer. And when he turned his back on her again, it was the final wound. She turned away from him and hurriedly wiped her tears away. She hadn’t even let her mother see her cry. Nor Max. Rob had been the last. And she’d sworn then he’d be the only. Once had been enough – an awkward and uncomfortable moment when Rob hadn’t quite been sure what to do with himself. So she sure as hell wasn’t going to let a vampire who clearly hated her see that part of her. She needed to get a grip. She couldn’t afford for him to see even an ounce of vulnerability. She pushed her hair back from her face before clutching on to the footboard for balance, her efforts to suppress her already silent tears constricting her throat.

  And she flinched as his body touched hers, as his hand slid between her and the footboard to catch her hip, turning her towards him.

  She shoved his hand away, but he turned her fully to meet him, easing her against him. She twisted away but his insistence was unrelenting as he pulled her against his chest. Caitlin struggled for a moment until it got too much – the pain and the confusion and the exhaustion tightening its grip until she couldn’t breathe. And as his insistent grip loosened, her anger morphed into despair. She didn’t want to sink against him, but her reluctant lack of fight gave her no choice. His arms were, ironically, a comfort, his silence calming, his head resting against hers the final act of tenderness that pushed her over the edge. And she sobbed. And as Kane stroked her hair, as she felt the strength and reassurance of his shoulder against her cheek, the hardness of his chest pressed against her, the gentleness of his hand on her neck as he held her against him, she let her tears dampen his shirt.

  And despite knowing why Kane was doing it, she absorbed herself in his closeness because, for those few minutes, she needed more than anything to feel him there. Sobbing against him didn’t feel strange, even though it should h
ave. It had been years since she had been held and comforted. But she knew why it felt so easy. And if she felt that comfortable being that close to him, that exposed to him, even after what he had said, she was in more danger than even she had been willing to acknowledge.

  But luckily for her, years of practice had made distance easy, had made anger and frustration easier emotions, safer emotions. She pulled away, wiped away the dampness on her cheeks. ‘Oh, you’re good,’ she said. ‘Very smooth.’ And as she backed away, the void she’d created caused her pain to a point that terrified her.

  It was perfect. That one act of her pulling away told him everything he needed to know. It was even more telling than how she’d curled into him to accept his comfort. She’d pulled away in panic, and there was only one thing that was going to evoke that response: her soul was ready for the taking.

  It should have given him a kick of triumph but, to his annoyance, it didn’t.

  And as she glowered at him, her eyes wary with trepidation, he wanted to pull her back to him and tell her how insulting her last statement had been. That all he had thought of when he’d heard her almost silent tears was of comforting her. And maybe if he’d told her that, it could have secured his goal.

  But confessing the truth then would have been cruel. He clearly already had her. Anything more was unnecessary.

  She was right to pull away. And he needed to forge that distance again – for her and for him.

  It irritated him that holding her that close had made him wonder what could happen if he did play hero. It shouldn’t have even have crossed his mind because playing her hero meant letting those who had hurt his sister get away with it. That could not happen. Not for her. Not for anyone.