Tears gathered in Alaura’s eyes as she laughed harder. “The smolder! I’m remembering this forever!”
“You don’t have to,” Derek grinned maliciously. “I took a video.”
Alaura’s laughter turned insane as she doubled over and fell to the floor. Derek cracked up as well, his face turning red.
“You do realize your door is broken, right?” Madness asked in a monotone voice as he pointed to the splintered remains of the door.
Alaura stopped laughing abruptly. “What?”
Madness didn’t respond. Instead, he did what he should have done the moment this conversation started. He melted into the ground, teleporting to another galaxy.
Joy to the World
As the cold bite of winter wind raged around me, I pressed my finger to the doorbell with an uneasy sigh. Manuel had insisted we come to the front door of his house like ‘normal people’ instead of teleporting directly inside. I just didn’t want to come here at all, despite the harsh cold around us.
“Come on, Cassidy, it’ll be fun!” Alaura chirped from beside me.
“Sure it will,” I responded sarcastically.
After all the stories I had heard about Manuel’s mother, I was definitely not looking forward to this. Not to mention I actively avoided social situations with new people as much as possible.
Suddenly, the door flew open, revealing a middle age woman with long brown hair and bags under her eyes. The woman’s thin mouth split into a wide smile.
“Hello! I’m so excited you’re here!”
Without warning, she wrapped both of us into a tight hug.
“Ack! Uh- hi?” I managed to get out from beneath her firm grip. “I’m-”
“Cassidy!” The woman finished. “I could tell by your hair! That fiery red is hard to miss!” She smiled down at Alaura. “And you must be Alaura!” She said it with an odd inflection, almost like Al-oo-ra.
Alaura smiled politely. “Actually, it’s Al-ow-ra, like you just hurt your foot and you-”
The woman continued speaking, not having even heard Alaura. “Manuel’s told me so much about you both! The brave hero turned villain turned hero that always saves the day, and the child turned monarch with the mind reading ability!” Her eyes widened. “Ooh, what am I thinking right now?”
Alaura paused, taken aback by the question. “You…you want me to read your mind?”
The woman nodded. “Yes!”
Alaura gave a shy smile. “Well, okay. You’re focusing very hard on the number 69.” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But why?”
“Moooo-OOOOM!” A loud voice from inside the house groaned.
A small chuckle escaped me before I could stop it.
Manuel’s mom wrapped her arm around my shoulder, smiling broadly. “Well, at least your friend here appreciates my jokes!”
“They’d be funny if you weren’t the one making them!” Manuel called back in frustration.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, that reminds me! I haven’t even introduced myself! I’m Mrs. Drake, Manuel’s mom!” She gestured towards the front door. “Well, come in, come in!”
I cautiously stepped inside, with Alaura bouncing behind me. The others were already there, with Derek and Madness by the table, and Manuel, Estarria, and Goldenrod sitting on the couches.
Madness and Derek appeared to be examining the glasses of egg nog. Derek pointed to the glass Madness had in his flaming hand. “That one’s the alcoholic one.”
Madness put it down slowly.
Manuel nodded to Mrs. Drake. “Well, it looks like everyone’s here!”
“Perfect!” She said, heading towards the kitchen.
“Cassidy, look,” Alaura exclaimed, eyes wide. She pointed towards the center of the room.
There, a massive tree stood, wrapped in beads and brightly shining lights. Every single limb had been weighed down by some strange bauble or object. Beneath the tree lay dozens of gifts in brightly wrapped paper. Madness must have brought all of our gifts here during one of his Madness Prime runs.
When I lived in the Popula Galaxy, we had a “season of giving” that had always taken place during the winter holidays, but we had never celebrated it much. The war had always taken top priority. Looking at the pile of gifts beneath the tree, I realized that this holiday was entirely different.
“These lights remind me of the Mystica Snowfall Celebration!” Alaura grinned.
I thought back to that day, where every single house in Meam had gleamed with tiny specks of mystica. “Yeah, they do, don’t they?” I agreed. I whistled, looking at the tree. “So this is a Christmas tree, huh?”
“It appears so,” Madness said almost reverently.
For some odd reason, Madness wore an emerald green sweater decorated by glowing reindeer. Manuel must have talked him into it. He turned to Manuel with a curious expression. “I still have some questions about this holiday. Is it simply a season of gift giving? What exactly is being celebrated?”
Manuel pointed to a figurine set laying on a counter. “We’re celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, our savior. He saved humanity from its sins by getting brutally tortured and murdered on a cross. He also turned water into wine and gave some people some fish.”
“That’s not exactly the best explanation,” Derek muttered.
Estarria raised an eyebrow. “Water into wine? Why not whiskey?”
Manuel shrugged. “They didn’t exactly have whiskey back then.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Wait a minute, isn’t this Jesus Christ the one you’re always cussing out and blaming for your problems?”
“What?”
“Well, every time something goes wrong in your life you shout ‘Jesus Christ’!” I folded my arms across my chest. “Shouldn’t show a little more respect for a guy who died for humanity?”
Without warning, Manuel’s mom strode back into the room. “Manny, are you taking the lord’s name in vain again?”
“Uh-”
She slapped him across the back of his head.
“Mom!”
Mrs. Drake glanced back at the rest of us. “So, do any of you want some hot chocolate?”
The rest of us exchanged a confused look. “Uh-”
“Great!”
And that’s how we found ourselves sitting at Manuel’s dining room table, surrounded by mugs of hot chocolate and red and green frosted cookies.
Alaura stuffed three cookies in her mouth at once. “Mmmmmm.” She hummed happily. “Perfection!”
Mrs. Drake nodded. “I’m glad you like them! I bought them from Costco because I was too lazy to make them myself!”
Estarria snickered.
Mrs. Drake took a sip from her steaming mug. ‘So, Jenny,” she said, turning towards Goldenrod. “When are you and Manny going to ‘tie the knot’?”
‘Jenny’ spit out a mouthful of hot chocolate into her mug.
Manuel gave his mom a pleading look. “Moooooooom-”
Alaura grinned mischievously. “I agree, Mrs. Drake, I think they would be perfect together.”
“If Manuel didn’t trip on his feet walking down the aisle,” Estarria snorted.
Mrs. Drake cracked up. “Yes, he’s always been clumsy like that! You know, on his first day of fourth grade…”
“You know, I think it’s a great time to start opening gifts!” Manuel said loudly, trying to save himself from further embarrassment.
“I think you might be right,” Derek chimed in, with a sympathetic look towards Manuel.
We stood up from the table, grabbing mugs of hot chocolate, and, in Alaura’s case, another plate of cookies, and sat in a lopsided circle around the tree. Luckily, Manuel had organized them by person, so it wasn’t hard to find my gifts.
I marveled at the sheer size of the pile. Objectively, I knew that we had all given each other gifts, so there should be eight each, but to see it for real…
We began unwrapping our gifts, and I found myself smiling as I glanced at the tags. Manuel h
ad written the to-from gift tags, though he didn’t pick out all the gifts. One in particular caught my eye.
To: Angsty War Criminal
From: Edgy War Criminal
That one had to be from Estarria. I laughed, tearing off the wrapping paper. I opened the box, seeing a pair of faded orange gloves. “What are these for?” I asked her.
Estarria pointed to the lining on the outside. “They redirect the force of your punches to take some of the pressure off your fists. I figured you’ve broken your hands too many times as it is.”
I grinned at how surprisingly thoughtful it was. “Thanks.”
Before I could open my second gift, a frustrated sigh erupted next to me. I yanked my head to the side to see Manuel, glaring at a card.
“Dad strikes again,” he muttered.
I leaned over his shoulder to get a closer look at the words.
To Manuel, my greatest disappointment
I winced. “Ouch.”
He flipped the card over. “Oh, wait a minute.”
…is that I won’t be able to be with you for the holidays! So proud of my amazing son! Love, Dad
“Screw you, Dad!” Manuel howled.
I found myself torn between laughing and yelling. Maybe Manuel’s dad was the true insane one.
Madness, who had been opening presents on the other side of Manuel, said in a monotone voice, “Ah, yes, that makes more sense. I had begun to worry that my father’s holiday regards had been switched with your father’s.”
The room went dead silent.
We all stared at Madness, who stared back with a blank look on his face. Even Mrs. Drake, who had been talking nonstop practically all evening, apparently had nothing to say to that.
Of course, Estarria was the first one to break the silence in a bout of insane laughter. “Ahahaha! Madness made a joke! I’m dying!”
Manuel joined in the laughter. “Madness, dude!”
Before long, all of us had doubled over in hysterics, except for Mrs. Drake, who was patting Madness on the shoulder sympathetically. Madness still had a deadpan expression on his face.
Estarria wiped a teardrop from her eye. “Though, obviously, we all know that I’m dear old Dad’s greatest disappointment.”
“No, I am fairly certain that I am,” Madness responded calmly.
“No, I am,” Estarria argued. “I betrayed him, and I wasn’t even strong enough for him to care about it.”
“But I kept switching sides and ‘throwing away my power for fools’ errands’,” Madness responded.
“Well I-”
“Whoa, okay!” Derek interrupted, stopping their argument in its tracks. “Are we seriously arguing over who was the Nightmare’s greatest disappointment?” He awkwardly put his arms around their shoulders. “Why should it matter?”
Yeah, especially since I’m clearly the Nightmare’s greatest disappointment, I thought to myself.
In an attempt to get back to normalcy, we continued opening gifts.
Goldenrod gasped. “Cassidy! Where-?”
I grinned, seeing the framed photo of the Oma soldiers who had been picked for the capital mission, standing stiffly in our gray uniforms. Goldenrod and I stood next to each other in the third row to the right, barely visible from under our caps. “Some weirdo who was researching my life found it in the Oman records that survived the blast. I copied the photo.”
She smiled, hugging the photo to her chest. It may not have been from a particularly happy time in our lives, but that photo held a piece of Oma. A piece of who we used to be.
“Speaking of weirdos researching your life…” Manuel rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, gesturing to a gift wrapped in red-striped paper.
Giving Manuel a skeptical look, I ripped off the wrapping paper. Inside, two books had been tied together. The first was Cassidy of Tulpaera and The Lost Legacy of Three Planets, and the second was The Definitive History of Tulpaera.
Manuel frowned. “I know it’s kind of weird to read about yourself, and you can skip all the messed up parts. I just thought that maybe you might find some cool stuff in there too. Like, there’s a whole segment on the mechanisms of the control center of Gelberia, and there’s another part on the seasonal traditions of the Omans, and-”
I cut Manuel off by hugging him. His eyes widened in surprise, but I pulled back before he could say anything.
“What just happened?” He wondered aloud to himself.
“Goldenrod, this is extremely functional. I thank you,” Madness said, rubbing his fingers over a fire-proof satchel with the words Madness Prime stitched into the side.
“You’re welcome!” Goldenrod smiled.
Manuel’s mom let out an enthusiastic “ooooh” over an obviously bottle-shaped gift wrapped clumsily in aluminum foil. She quickly unwrapped it, revealing a massive bottle of Fire Sprite. “Esoterica, you are officially my favorite of Manny’s friends!”
Estarria shrugged. “No problem.”
Manuel stomped his foot. “Uh, there is absolutely a problem!” He gestured wildly to the orangey-red bottle. “Look at the size of that thing!”
Derek winced. “Well, then I guess you won’t be happy with my gift for your mom either.”
Mrs. Drake ripped open Derek’s gift. It appeared to be a brand of Earth whiskey. She pulled Derek into a hug. “You’re the best!”
Manuel groaned. “I hate you all.”
“Aw, Madness!” Alaura exclaimed, holding a book with a smooth black cover. Apparently, he and Manuel had the same idea about giving books as gifts. Alaura held a copy of Stardust: The Dragon Queen of Justice in her hands, smiling widely.
Madness nodded his head cordially.
The night wore on as the pile of ripped wrapping paper and discarded boxes grew. After the last gift had been opened (a huge box for Estarria which turned out to be a new training dummy from Madness), Estarria and Mrs. Drake had unfortunately started drinking the eggnog. Apparently, the two had become fast friends.
“So then I told his school, ‘my son just got punched in the face thanks to your staff’s negligence and you’re only going to punish him, because he defended himself?’” Manuel’s mom said heatedly.
“That’s bull,” Estarria responded.
“I know, Esoterica, I know,” Mrs. Drake replied. “So then I said, ‘Well, next time, I’m telling my son to hit first!’”
Estarria titled her glass towards Mrs. Drake in an approval. “I like it. But, did he hit first next time?”
“No,” Manuel interrupted, “Because I don’t go around beating up whoever I want, like some people!”
“That’s because you couldn’t have beaten anyone up if you wanted to, son,” his mom replied delicately. Estarria cackled.
Manuel pantomimed getting stabbed through the heart as he toppled over with a pained expression on his face. “Betrayed by my own mother,” he complained.
“Betrayal is part of life, Manny,” his mom responded.
“I hate you.”
“I love you, too.”
I smiled to myself as I sat down on the couch next to Goldenrod, who was talking animatedly to Derek about some new Earth movie that had come out. I leaned back and closed my eyes, twirling the piece of crassium from my necklace over my scarred fingers. This night beat every year of the season of giving combined.
A small hand wrapped itself in mine. I allowed my eyes to flutter open, seeing Alaura on the other side of me.
“This night had been great, hasn’t it?” Alaura said. She still had Stardust: The Dragon Queen of Justice clutched in her other hand.
I nodded, still twirling the crassium around in my hand. “You know, you were right.”
Alaura’s eyes widened in curiosity. “About what?”
I chose not to respond. Instead, I thought about that first night at the beach. I thought about a darkened cloudy sky over an endless ocean, and the crashing of waves on the sandy shores.
I thought about a warm hand urging me to take the first step tow
ards what I had previously thought was unattainable.
I leaned back on the couch, with Alaura following suit.
“Oh,” Alaura spoke softly. “About that.” She rested her head on my shoulder, smiling serenely. “I’m glad we’re here, Cassidy.”
I closed my eyes, letting the moment wash over me. “Yeah,” I said. “Me too.”
So We're Not Dead, Now What?: The Lightmare Series Page 6