Goldenrod gasped. “Estarria, why would you do that?” She whirled to face Manuel. “Can’t I do a healing spell or something?” She rolled her die frantically. “I have to save him!”
“That’s not how it-he’s already-” Manuel sputtered in confusion.
Goldenrod grabbed the Player’s Handbook off the ground and began flipping through it. “How do spells work?”
“Goldenrod,” I said gently, “he’s dead. And I’m pretty sure you aren’t a necromancer.”
Goldenrod, upon seeing the distress on Manuel’s face, finally put down the Handbook and folded her hands in her lap. “Well, I tried.”
Manuel attempted to force some enthusiasm back in his voice. “The town guards, seeing the brutal murder of one of the villagers, approach you brandishing weapons.”
Derek, apparently seeing this as an opportunity to throw caution to the winds, leaned back in his chair and stated, “I’m going to pickpocket Estarria and run away.”
Estarria glared at him. “You son of a bitch!”
“You’re the one that got us into this mess, I’m just profiting from it!” Derek fired back.
“Well,” Manuel responded uncertainly, “You need to do a stealth roll to see if Estarria sees you or not.”
Derek rolled his die. I chuckled. He rolled a natural one.
“She sees you,” Manuel said.
“And I’m going to chase your ass down for that little trick!” Estarria shouted.
“And I’m going to continue running away,” Derek replied calmly.
I raised an eyebrow. This game was already going straight to hell. I may as well contribute.
“Upon seeing the brutal murder of an innocent civilian, I have no choice but to take vengeance,” I announced, getting into my role for the first time that night. “I’m going to attack Estarria with Divine Smite.”
Estarria turned to me, incredulous. “Seriously?”
Derek burst out laughing.
I met Estarria’s gaze, struggling to keep a straight face. “I must eliminate the evil in this world.”
I rolled my die to attack, landing on an 18.
“Wait, but I left the battle to chase down Derek!” Estarria protested.
“Maybe, but you didn’t disengage from combat,” Manuel explained. He looked at me.
“Your blow hits Estarria, who crumples to the ground before dying from your Divine Smite,” Manuel narrated.
Estarria cracked her knuckles and leapt out of her chair, racing towards me. “YOU BITCH!”
The next thing we knew, the table had burst into flames.
Estarria and Madness frantically tried to control the flames while Goldenrod raced to grab one of the massive water jugs from the kitchen.
“Oh hell,” I murmured.
“This is pretty much what I was afraid of,” Derek added.
Goldenrod threw the water jug over the flames, which did little to stop them from spreading. Black flames engulfed Manuel’s DM screen and notes until they had burned into cinders.
“I have a question for God,” Manuel began. He threw his head back and screamed, “WHYYYYYYYYY?!”
Needless to say, we never played D&D again.
To Victory and Beyond
“What are you working on?” Alaura asked curiously, peering over Derek’s shoulder.
Derek continued typing furiously. “Some freelance work. Just because my apartment got burned down doesn’t mean I can’t do my job.”
“You know, I have money,” Alaura offered.
Derek shrugged. “Yeah, but I took a lot of classes to learn how to design websites, and I’m not going to throw it away just to mooch off of my sister.” He paused while typing. “Besides, the others have jobs too- Madness has his whole Madness Prime thing, Estarria does bodyguarding, Goldenrod’s in that band, which is getting super popular, and Manuel and Cassidy run the Planetary Recovery Program.”
Derek checked to see if his code had compiled correctly. “Yes!” He slammed his laptop shut with a victorious grin.
“Are you done?” Alaura asked.
“Well, no,” Derek admitted, “but I finished what I need to finish today.” He got up from his chair, stretching his arms above him with a contented sigh. “What about you? Got any plans for today?”
Alaura frowned. “I’m meeting with my financial advisors to discuss a potential new monetary policy this afternoon. The Central Core of the UTG wants to set up a common currency.” She grimaced. “There’s no way I’m doing that, no matter what those stupid peoples say. Anyone can see that it’s a failing system.” She threw her arms in the air in frustration. “Sure, first trade will boom, but then it will slowly take us all down, until there are no strong economies in the Central Core!”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “It sounds like you know a lot about this.”
Alaura let out a bitter chuckle. “How could I not? The Agradia Galaxy did the same thing a few decades ago, and look where that got them!”
Derek nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I think I read about that somewhere. Didn’t the Intergalactic Council have to step in to regulate their currency for a while?”
“Yes. And they’re still in debt.”
Derek stared into Alaura’s indignant eyes. At times like these, he sometimes found it hard to remember that Alaura was still just a kid.
As a kid, he never gave a single thought to monetary policy. His days had been occupied by playing football in the backyard, reading comics, hanging out with friends and family, and learning how to write code in the computer lab at school. Sure, he had to hide the fact that he could teleport from his friends and teachers, but that wasn’t too difficult.
No one ever thought that Derek Andrews, the linebacker with a knack for code, had anything to hide.
Alaura, on the other hand, stood constantly in the spotlight. The press, as well as most planetary governments, watched her every move, just waiting to pounce on any missteps she might make. She also had to carry the weight of not only her own secrets, but everyone else’s as well.
“Luckily, you don’t have very many secrets, do you, Derek?” Alaura grinned, startling Derek out of his thoughts.
“Do you mind?” he protested weakly. He knew Alaura could read minds, but every time she responded to his thoughts it still sent a jolt of alarm through his bones.
Alaura had the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I know.” Derek paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’re right, though. I don’t really have any secrets.”
Alaura smiled sadly. “Someone who says they don’t have any secrets generally has something to hide.”
Derek cocked his head in confusion. “Huh?”
Alaura twirled a piece of her brown hair around her finger. “It’s just something my mom used to say.”
Derek hesitated. Well, Stardust hadn’t been wrong. “She sounds like she was a smart woman. I wish I could have met her.”
Darkness clouded Alaura’s face before her eyes brightened with a shimmering light. “Maybe in a way you can!”
Alaura jumped up and raced out of the room. Curious, Derek gently put down his laptop and followed her, twisting through the stone hallways until the two of them reached a massive, gilded door. Alaura yanked the golden handle and led Derek through the royal gardens.
Derek stared at the plants. An entire rainbow of colors dotted the grass, with flowers in shapes and sizes completely unfamiliar to him.
“Over there,” Alaura pointed, gesturing to a massive bronze structure in the central courtyard.
Derek took his eyes off the flowers and followed Alaura’s finger.
Wow, he almost said, but the word seemed far too small.
Stardust stood in bronze, a triumphant fist raised in the air. Her eyes burning with fiery passion, she stood proudly holding a shield with her wings spread around her. The faintest trace of a smile played on her lips.
Beneath her feet, the quote “To victory and beyond, my good
people!” had been carefully engraved.
“The statue was made based off a painting made many, many years ago of Mother after she pulled Dragodalow out of civil war. She had to overthrow a coup started by a rival dragonskin faction, and nearly died along the way, but she won despite all odds,” Alaura explained, a proud grin on her face.
Derek examined the statue more closely. Stardust definitely looked younger here than in the photos he had seen of her from the War of A Thousand Planets. The worn wrinkles around her eyes had vanished, leaving only the burning determination in her eyes.
“That’s amazing,” he said quietly. Stardust looked like a young adult here, maybe around the same age as he was. Logically, he knew she had to be much older than that when the painting was made, but her youthful glow made her seem like a twenty-year-old in Earth years, late twenties at most.
Alaura nodded in agreement. “She also singlehandedly brought Dragodalow out of poverty and famine after the civil war.” Alaura lowered her ruby red eyes. “She’s a hard act to follow.”
Derek tore his gaze away from the goddess-like statue and settled it on Alaura. He had nearly suffocated under the pressure of the horrific legacy Light left behind when he first discovered his true parentage. How did Alaura handle it, combined with the insane pressure of the legacy Stardust left behind?
His mind floated back to the first time he had met Alaura. She had spoken so diplomatically, like a politician. It had almost been comical at the time, this little child telling him about the future of Light offspring, public image, and political unrest. The only time she seemed remotely childlike was when she had called him a people.
“I think you’re doing a great job,” he told her truthfully. Alaura made difficult decisions every day, and they almost always led her to victory.
“I’m trying,” she murmured, her eyes still concentrated on Stardust’s triumphant fist.
“I think you’re doing a little more than that,” Derek countered. “How many kids- heck, how many adults helped defeat two intergalactic terrorists?”
Alaura turned to Derek with a troubled look on her face. “Cassidy and Madness?”
“What? No,” Derek said hastily. “Light and Nightmare.”
The fact that he had to clarify which terrorists he was talking about seemed like a bad sign, but Derek opted to ignore it.
“You also helped Estarria get her sanity back. You got Cassidy and Madness out of the Endless Void. Not to mention that we couldn’t have defeated the Balance without your help,” Derek added.
Alaura’s mouth tilted upward in a half-smile. “I hope you’re right.”
Derek returned her smile. “I know I am.”
“Well, in that case…” Alaura’s mouth split into a true grin. She pumped her fist in the air, mimicking the Stardust statue. “To victory and beyond, my good peoples!”
Derek applauded enthusiastically. “To victory and beyond,” he echoed.
My sister is so cool, he thought to himself. He didn’t care if she heard him think it or not.
The Smolder
“Here is your package, ma’am,” Madness said politely, handing over a brown package double-wrapped in tape to a woman with silky brown hair and emerald eyes.
The woman grabbed it gratefully. “Thank you,” she replied as she gave him a stack of opatches as payment.
Madness flipped through the stack, surprised by its thickness. There must have been a mistake. “Ah, I believe you gave me three extra. I only charged five opatches.”
The woman shook her head. “Don’t be silly! It’s a tip for exceptionally good service!” She winked.
Madness stared back at her in confusion. Why had her eye twitched in such a way? “Thank you,” he responded uncertainly as he walked away, pocketing the opatches in the front pocket of his delivery satchel as he walked.
Manuel waited for him at the end of the driveway. Madness had agreed to take him back to Meam after delivering this last package, so Manuel had tagged along with him to Emenaldia.
Manuel snickered as Madness approached. “Dude. You totally missed your chance right there.”
“Chance?” Madness squinted in confusion. “What chance?” Sure, he could have tried to get a bigger tip, seeing as she appeared to be interested in overpaying him anyway, but that seemed unnecessary and crude. “I wasn’t going to exploit her for a greater payment.”
Manuel punched him playfully on the shoulder. “No, dude, she was into you! You could’ve asked her out!”
“I’m sorry?”
“You know, on a date,” Manuel replied.
Madness grabbed Manuel’s shoulder and melted into the ground, bringing them back to the warmth of the castle’s main living room.
“I’m not sure I follow.”
Manuel sighed impatiently. “She liked you.”
“Why do you believe that?”
“Because she tipped you extra, and she winked at you!”
“Is that what that was?” Madness asked, thinking of her strange twitch. “I thought she might have caught something in her eye.”
Manuel shook his head frustratedly. “You’re hopeless.”
Madness dumped his satchel on the table and began sorting his bills and coins. “Why would anyone be romantically interested in me?” He wondered aloud.
Manuel shrugged. “Maybe they see the whole ‘bad boy’ thing and think to themselves, ‘I can fix him’!”
Madness shuddered, dropping a yorthnut onto a growing stack of tarnished coins. “That is deeply disturbing.”
“Or maybe they just see the new-age sensitive guy in you!” Manuel added quickly.
“Mmm,” Madness hummed vaguely as he stacked the thin metal opatches from Emenaldia.
“Come on, Madness, there’s lots of things a girl might like about you! You fight really well, you own your own business, you can teleport, you have the cool fire dude thing going on, you’re a super awesome guy, you-”
“Hey look, it’s the ambiguously gay duo!” Estarria interrupted, teasing them as she ran through the room.
Before Manuel could protest, Goldenrod kicked down the door, screaming, “You get back here!”
Madness and Manuel gaped at her. Goldenrod, soaked to the bone, had a look of pure fury on her face. Madness eyed the blaster in her hands cautiously.
“Uh-” Manuel began, but he hastily shut his mouth, seeing the burning rage in Goldenrod’s eyes.
Estarria shrugged. “Whoops. Gotta run.”
With that, Estarria flung herself out the other door, sprinting down the hallway.
“Goldenrod, what the hell?” Manuel asked weakly.
Goldenrod gave him a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it.” She kissed him gently on the forehead before resuming her chase, screaming bloody murder. The sounds of cursing and running footsteps gradually faded away, leaving a stupefied Madness and Manuel in their wake.
Manuel gaped at the kicked-down door. “Should I go after them or something?”
Madness shook his head slowly. “In this case, no, I don’t think so.” He paused, seeing the splinters of wood where the door broke off its hinges. “Well, there’s yet another reason not to be in a relationship.” He had enough trouble trying to understand himself, let alone another person and their problems.
Manuel frowned. “Aw, come on. Most of the time, Goldenrod’s not like that.”
“Are you certain?”
Manuel grimaced. “Well…uh…you should still give dating a chance! You deserve someone special!”
“Why?”
Manuel sighed in frustration. “Just- just go with me here.” He paused. “Next time you see a cute girl, especially one that’s interested in you, you should ask her out. You could turn on that Madness charm and be all like ‘I call this one- the smolder’.” Manuel raised an eyebrow and squinted his eyes in a dubious way.
“I don’t know if…”
“And then, she’ll totally go out with you!”
“I’m not…”
&nbs
p; “No one will be able to resist that Madness charm!”
Madness’ fingers twitched with discomfort. “How would I even know what a cute girl looks like?”
“You’ll just know.”
“How?”
“You know what, forget that part,” Manuel said dismissively. “Just try it on the next girl you run into.”
“I don’t know.”
“Just give it a shot. What do you have to lose?”
“…”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way. Come on!”
Madness considered teleporting to another planet to escape the conversation, but ultimately decided against it. Manuel would just ask about it next time they happened to see each other. He was persistent that way.
“Alright,” he agreed reluctantly.
Manuel clapped Madness on the back. “Yeah, Madness, my man!”
“Hey guys,” a voice spoke from the doorway. Madness and Manuel turned to see Cassidy standing there with a disgruntled expression. “You haven’t seen Estarria or Goldenrod, have you? I turn my back for two seconds, and suddenly everyone’s going nuts.”
“Yeah, they are definitely doing something weird,” Manuel responded, gesturing towards the hole where the door used to be.
Cassidy examined the broken hinges morosely. “Crap, Alaura’s gonna be so pissed.”
Madness stood up. “Cassidy, you’re a girl, right?”
Manuel’s eyes widened in alarm. “Wait-”
Cassidy looked at Madness, perplexed. “Um, as far as I’m aware?”
“Madness wait no-”
Madness attempted to copy Manuel’s odd expression. “I call this one- the smolder.”
The room instantly went dead silent, with no sound but the patter of water droplets on the windowsill. Vaguely, Madness realized that it was raining.
Cassidy stared at him for a moment, her body perfectly still. After drinking in his strange expression and Manuel’s horrorstruck face, she spun on her heel, turned around, and walked out of the room without another word.
“Mission accomplished,” Madness stated dryly.
Manuel gawked at him. “Dude,” he managed to say.
Musical laughter filled the room. Madness and Manuel whirled around to see Alaura and Derek, who had just walked in the door Goldenrod and Estarria had ran through.
So We're Not Dead, Now What?: The Lightmare Series Page 5