Dizzy Dilemmas

by Mary Beeken

  “Do I?” she asked, delighted at the compliment, and when he nodded she continued. “Well thank you very much. You kiss extremely well!”

  He laughed as she blushed scarlet, having realised what she had said and tried to take it back.

  “That is I meant to say. …”

  “Oh no my love, what you said was perfectly clear and you do not need to say any more,” he interrupted her, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

  “No what I meant to say…” she tried again but again he interrupted her.

  “Is that I kiss extremely well! Tell me; do you make that judgement on how my kisses make you feel or in comparison to other kisses you have received?” he teased.

  “I do not make a habit of going round kissing men; even Dukes!” she was affronted. “One or two young men have tried to kiss me I admit, but a mere peck I assure you!”

  “I am glad you enjoy my kisses because I find myself wanting to kiss you again,” he told her.

  “You are destined to be disappointed because there must be no more kissing, Glenmore,” she said firmly but was slightly disappointed when he did not contradict her. “Are you listening?” she asked turning to look at him only to have him kiss her gently on the lips.

  “Are you sure about that Gherkin?” he asked and she nodded although it lacked conviction. His response was to kiss her again, more deeply despite the cramped conditions and the danger of discovery. His mouth claimed hers and although still gentle she could not mistake his demands; his insistence that she respond to him truthfully and without prevarication. She moaned and desire swept through her as he took the kiss to another level; using his tongue and lips to explore, taste and entice. Tentatively she entwined her tongue with his and when he growled she became more confident, kissing him back and exploring him as he had done her. No longer concerned that he would scare her, Marcus plunged his tongue into her open mouth; wanting to devour her with every sweep, every thrust. It was no longer enough that their lips were joined and their thighs were touching and so he put his arm around her and pulled her closer, wanting to feel her softness against him.

  Dizzy was completely absorbed in their kiss, blind and deaf to whatever might be happening beyond their flowery shield; that is until her foot caught the base of the display. Although too big and sturdy to be toppled by one small kick, it nevertheless scraped along the floor making, or so it seemed to Dizzy at least, a terribly loud noise. Even when the container had stopped moving the flowers near the top continued to wave backwards and forwards, drawing attention or so Dizzy believed. In truth only anyone standing close by would have seen or heard anything and fortunately no-one was but the moment had been broken and rational thought had once again asserted itself.

  “The waltz has ended,” she stated the obvious. “Everyone will be making their way into supper so I will go first and you can follow in a few moments.”

  “No, we will go together. I am not spending the next hour or so chasing you around the room. I will take you into supper,” Markus told her.

  “But I already have a partner for supper,” she lied, still hoping to avoid having the eyes of the ton upon them.

  “Oh who would that be?” he asked knowing she was lying to avoid having supper with him.

  “No-one you know,” she replied and then sighed. “Look, if we are seen together in public tonight, by tomorrow all the gossip sheets will be speculating on your intentions, all the matrons and the unmarried daughters will be pestering me and plotting my downfall, and Gideon and my grandmother will be booking the church and sending a note post-haste summoning my parents home. Let us go back to being mere acquaintances so that we do not arouse hope, despair or angst in the hearts of our family, friends and the ton.”

  “And if we are seen in public tonight by tomorrow the gossip sheets will be linking my name to yours and not faceless girls; giving false hope to them and their mothers. Those same girls and mothers will be pestering you and not me and although your family may get their hopes up I am sure you exaggerate about booking the church,” he answered before adding. “Your parents? Aren’t they dead?”

  “No! Whatever gave you that idea?” Dizzy asked affronted “OF-course they are not dead!”

  “I’m sorry. I should have realised because your brother is not Lord Elveston is he? It is just that you have not mentioned your parents and as they are not here, I assumed they had died,” Marcus explained.

  “No. They left home at the end of my first season,” she told him and feeling it called for further explanation. “Having raised five children to adulthood they decided that having fulfilled familial commitments, it was time for them as a couple. As none of us had moved out of the family home, they decided they would and so they have embarked on a tour of the sites of historical significance.”

  “Did your mother not want to chaperone you during your season?” he could not quite believe what he was hearing, especially when he thought about all those matrons who were trying to ensnare him for their daughters.

  “She did the first one but as neither of my sisters would accept any of the proposals they had then she said I would probably be the same and so there was no need for her to wait around. Gideon was put in charge and Grandmamma agreed to chaperone us.”

  “I do not know how to respond. It is certainly….unusual,” he said.

  Dizzy just shrugged. “Unusual maybe but then so was our childhood. They donated a lot of time to us when we were young; taking an active role in all we did. Unlike many people of our class, we were not raised by nannies and governesses; only seeing our parents for half an hour after tea. We are all in our twenties now and thanks to their guidance, and Coulton’s discipline of-course for papa was not strong on discipline, we are all responsible members of society.” Then upon seeing his raised eyebrow she clarified, “In ways that count at any rate!”

  “I was raised by nannies and servants and spent little time with my parents,” for some reason he felt the need to tell her, though not to evoke sympathy, because that was the way of their world after all, but just to share a part of his past with her as she had with him. It seemed appropriate somehow.

  “Well rest assured,” she replied solemnly, “Our children will be raised as I was with plenty of parental involvement. Will you be able to cope with that?”

  “What?” Marcus forgot to keep his voice down.

  “Shhhhh” Dizzy placed a finger to her lips and flapped her other hand in a gesture for him to be quiet. “It was a joke, Your Grace. Just a joke!”

  “You gave me a nasty shock just then, Gherkin,” he dramatically placed his hand over his heart. “But now I am getting used to the idea, I can just picture our dozen or so children. They would all look like me of-course because I am a handsome devil when all is said and done.”

  With a theatrical groan Dizzy said, “Come on, Lord Bashful, time to go.”

  Taking great care Dizzy manoeuvred herself so that she was on all fours and shuffled to the edge of the flowers and working on the notion that people rarely noticed things at ground level, she put her head as close to the floor as possible and edged out. A few stragglers remained but the majority of guests had made their way into the supper rooms and fortunately no-one was lingering near them.

  Glenmore was not sure whether he was in heaven or hell. Positioned as she was, he had a very nice view of Dizzy’s bottom, tantalizingly close and evoking a number of very erotic thoughts and images in his mind. He took a deep breath and tried to get his body and thoughts under control and although he knew he would find the task easier if he closed his eyes, he was enjoying the view too much to look away. This young woman was driving him to distraction but of-course, in her innocence was unaware of the affect she was having on him, and here she was just inches away in a very provocative position. It really was not surprising that he was in a state of arousal and dreaming of making love to her. He sighed knowing he could not act upon his dreams though he would not dismiss the idea of seducing her at a later date, given the o
pportunity.

  Going onto hands and knees he moved over her and cursed his stupidity as he thought about taking her from behind. She fit perfectly beneath him and it would only take a matter of moments to lift her skirts and bury himself within her. As a gentleman he could not act on his impulses but there was no reason he couldn’t take advantage of the situation in a different way.

  “Is the coast clear?” he asked her.

  “Not quite. Just another minute,” she whispered and then as she realised where he was she added. “What are you doing?”

  “Nothing though there is plenty I would like to do such as stroking this shapely bottom that has been torturing me for several minutes now,” his voice was low and sensual and his hand began to gently caress her; the erotic motion making her gasp. “If we were anywhere else now I would raise your skirts and fondle your naked derriere. Then I would make love to you; take you in this position.” He continued to stroke her a few seconds more, relishing her little gasps of delight as he felt her passion build. “But as I cannot do that, I will have to settle for delivering the spanking I promised you earlier.” Languid with desire it took Dizzy longer to register what he was saying and by the time his words had sunk in he had landed a slap on her backside.

  “You despicable...” Whatever else she was going to say was lost as she spun around, heedless of their situation and collided forcefully with the flower arrangement which rocked violently on its base before teetering on one edge. There was a fifty percent chance of it righting itself but Glenmore was not prepared to take the risk and so, grabbing Dizzy by the arm he hauled her up and out the nearest door. They were well along the terrace and away from the blaze of light filtering from the ballroom when they heard the resounding crash as the carefully constructed flower arrangement hit the polished wooden floor.

  “Why the bloody hell did you have to wear white? It is the worst colour when trying to remain unseen in the dark,” he grumbled as he pulled her around the corner of the building and pushing her up against the wall, shielding her as much as possible with his dark clad body.

  “I sincerely beg your pardon for my blunder. Had I known I was going to be skulking around in the dark, hoping not to be seen, I would have dressed more accordingly,” she replied sarcastically.

  “Let this be a lesson to you then Gherkin. Always be prepared even for the unexpected.” he quipped.

  “Are you always prepared for the unexpected?” she asked him.

  “I’m wearing black aren’t I?” he replied spreading his arms to show his finely cut evening clothes.

  The next thing he staggered back as her left hook connected squarely with his chin.

  “Not quite as prepared as you thought for you didn’t see that coming! Just in case you are unsure, that was for slapping my behind!” she announced and turning on her heel, marched off.

  By the time Glenmore caught up with her, Dizzy had found access to the house via a French door that led into a dimly lit sitting room. She was marching purposely along the room heading for the door when a familiar voice made her steps falter. Going onto tiptoe she edged closer to the back of the elegant couch with its delicately carved lion feet and scrolled arms that stood proudly near the middle of the room and from whence the voice had come, but before she had taken more than a step or two she was spun around by the strong, lean hand that grabbed her arm and hauled against the hard torso of an annoyed Duke who locked her in place simply by wrapping his arms around her and holding fast.

  Ignoring all the signs that told her he was about to launch into a tirade probably lasting several minutes, Dizzy whispered, “Shush Glenmore. Listen.”

  As much as he wanted to, Marcus could not pretend he did not hear the sounds emanating from the couch; the odd sniffle interspersed with grunts. The initial thought that they were about to interrupt a tryst was short-lived for the grunts were definitely not ones of pleasure and there was a distinct touch of distress in the sniffles. Sighing in frustration he released her and together they edged forward.

  Although Dizzy had expected to see her Grandmother, what she saw when she peered around the sofa was most assuredly not expected. The Dowager was lying beneath the rotund form of Colonel Thwaites whom she was attempting albeit unsuccessfully, to push off.

  “Oh thank God, can you help?” cried the Dowager, but before she had finished speaking, the arrivals were already heaving the Colonel into a sitting position.

  “Grandmamma, what is the matter? Are you not well Colonel? Why are his trousers undone?” she asked in a puzzled tone and then as the implications dawned on her she said, “Oh Grandmother!

  “Do not ‘Oh Grandmother!’ me, my girl and do not say trousers it is not seemly for a young gel. They are unmentionables to you!” she said getting back to her normal self now that the weighty form of the colonel was not squashing her.

  “I am shocked!” Dizzy announced.

  “Don’t pretend to be all simpering and missish now!” she said.

  “But you’re a Grandmother!” Dizzy informed her, rather unnecessarily or so Marcus thought.

  “So! I am in my sixties, I am not dead!”

  “No but I am afraid Colonel Thwaites is,” Marcus announced before either lady could say any more.

  “Are you sure? Perhaps a nice cup of tea will revive him,” Dizzy stated.

  Marcus glanced quizzically at her but decided now was not the time to tease her about the ridiculousness of her statement so instead told her; “No Gherkin, he is most emphatically dead. He is as dead as Mustapha. No amount of tea is going to revive him.”

  “He was told by his physician six months ago that he did not have long to live,” The Dowager explained. “So he decided to live his last months to the fullest. He did not want to lie in bed and wait for death to come, becoming more morose. He wanted to bow out happy and enjoying himself.”

  “Well he has certainly done that!” remarked Marcus with a smirk that had Dizzy giggling despite trying to keep suitably solemn, as tradition dictated, the occasion warranted.

  “We have been entertaining each other at every party we have attended since the beginning of the season.” The Dowager explained.

  “I really do not need to know that,” Dizzy informed her with a shudder. “There are some things grandchildren really do not need to hear and this is definitely one of them. Next you will be telling me the riskier the assignation the better!”

  “Why yes actually...”

  “Stop! Enough I beg!” Dizzy raised her hands to ward off any more.

  “Well you brought it up otherwise I would never have mentioned it,” her grandmother said then remembering she was the grandmother and therefore the chaperone asked, “Why are you sneaking around with Glenmore here? It is not at all acceptable in a young, unmarried girl.”

  “Your Granddaughter had a mishap with the flower arrangements in the ballroom and being a gentleman I was rescuing her before her guilt could be discovered,” Glenmore explained, making it seem so normal and everyday and, as accidents were the norm of Dizzy’s life, the Dowager accepted his explanation without question.

  “Then I must thank you for acting so promptly and saving Dizzy from what would have been an embarrassing situation.”

  “I was delighted to be of assistance and can only hope it will raise me in her regard!” Glenmore informed her, ignoring the glare being directed at him.

  “Dizzy are you growling again? “ The Dowager asked turning to the scowling young woman, who stood looking menacingly. “You should be thanking his Grace for coming to your aid not looking like you want to murder him!” And then in a whisper that was meant to be just for Dizzy’s ears but was actually loud enough that Glenmore did not even need to strain to hear it. “Be nice. He is a potential suitor who is obviously showing an interest.”

  “Your whispering is loud enough to waken Colonel Thwaites from his eternal slumbers!” Dizzy informed her crossly. “And no he is not a potential suitor, believe me!”

  “Can’t you recognise
good husband material when you see it?” The Dowager continued ignoring her granddaughter’s comments about the volume of her whisper and continuing at the same level so that Glenmore actually caught himself glancing at the Colonel to see if he was beginning to stir.

  “Obviously you can’t if you think he qualifies,” Dizzy retorted, not bothering to moderate her voice at all and thereby making the whole conversation, whispered on one side and normal tones on the other rather peculiar to say the least.

  “He is rich, handsome, charming and a Duke! What more do you want?”

  “Do not be fooled Grandmamma. He is conceited, arrogant, annoying and threatens young women with physical violence.” When her Grandmother looked confused she clarified her statement. “He threatened to spank me!”

  “But I would have made it a pleasurable experience,” Glenmore told her, causing the Dowager to choke on a laugh.

  How long their bickering would have continued had a sudden noise not stopped them was anyone’s guess. They stood still and listened as a group of people; gentlemen going by their voices, made their way along the corridor. Their conversation became louder as they approached the door and Dizzy held her breath fearing discovery and rapidly trying to concoct a tale that would explain away the tableau they presented with her Grandmother looking dishevelled and the dead Colonel with his trousers around his ankles. Nothing she thought of could make it seem in anyway normal however, and therefore it was with profound relief that she realized the voices had passed the door and were continuing along the corridor.

  “What are we going to do?” she turned instinctively to Marcus for an answer.

  “Give the Colonel his dignity back by getting his clothing in order and then we will place a drink in his hand so when he is discovered it looked like he passed away whilst enjoying a glass of fine brandy. I shall arrange for him to be discovered by our host just as soon as you two are well out of the way.”