The Doctor's Marriage

by Leah Martyn

  ‘And your blood pressure is extra good.’ Jane looked at her patient’s details on the computer screen. ‘Still walking?’

  ‘Every morning,’ Anna confirmed. ‘Of course, now summer is coming I’m getting up quite early and walking before the day gets too hot. And what about you, Jane?’ The older woman’s eyes twinkled with a mild curiosity. ‘I haven’t seen you out walking like I used to.’

  Jane made a small face. ‘I’ve got a bit slack. But I do get up and garden quite early.’

  ‘I’m sure that’s good exercise,’ Anna allowed. She paused for a moment and then suddenly rose to her feet, placing her handbag on the edge of Jane’s desk. ‘Well, I suppose we’d better get on with it.’

  ‘Sorry?’ Jane looked puzzled.

  ‘I’m due for my pap smear. But today I didn’t have to steel myself to come in. It was always a bit daunting, going to the men to have the test done. Well, you know…’

  Jane smiled, empathising with the older woman’s misgivings. ‘Women for a woman’s domain?’ she suggested.

  ‘Oh, yes, dear, absolutely. But, then, that’s not always possible, is it? And the male doctors here are very good and caring in their way,’ she concluded.

  ‘Sit down again, Anna.’ Jane touched a hand to her patient’s arm, easing her back into the chair. ‘I’ve had a good look over your records. It’s wonderful to see you’ve been so regular with your smear tests over the years and there’s never been anything untoward.’

  ‘No, except for a bit of problem a few years back but that was cleared up with a prescription. Well, you’d have seen that.’

  ‘I did. And because you’ve had such a healthy outcome each time, now that you’ve reached seventy we let you off the hook.’

  Anna’s eyes widened. ‘No more pap smears?’

  Jane shook her head. ‘Unless you’re concerned about something. Then, of course, come and see me at once.’

  ‘Well, I must say I’m delighted to get that bit of information.’ Anna’s pleasantly plump face was wreathed in smiles.

  Jane switched off the computer and sat back in her chair. She’d enter the rest of Anna’s notes later. As the older woman was her last patient for the day, her time was her own. Anna was a lovely lady, warm and caring. With a wicked sense of humour, too, as Jane had discovered from time to time. In fact, she was everything Jane would have liked for her own mother…

  ‘Has Susan left for the States yet?’ Jane asked now.

  ‘Last week.’ Anna’s chest rose in a gentle sigh. ‘I’m going to miss my daughter so much, Jane. And those two little scamps of course, Nathan and Ryan. But her place is with her husband, isn’t it?’

  Jane couldn’t meet the other’s steady, enquiring gaze. Is my place with Riley? she agonised for the umpteenth time. With him in every way that counts? ‘Where did they go again?’

  ‘Houston, Texas. Peter’s in the air force, as you know. He’s on a training course, learning all about these new jets they have now.’

  ‘So what are you going to do with your time now you’re not minding your grandsons?’ Jane probed gently, thinking that while Anna’s physical health was good, she could quite see that her emotional well-being could suffer as a result of her entire family going out of her life for the next year at least.

  Anna’s small, capable hands came together in her lap. ‘Well, I have my CWA—Country Women’s Association,’ she enlightened Jane, seeing her questioning look. ‘And my church, of course. I’d be lost without that.’

  ‘You have quite a big home, don’t you?’ The germ of an idea was beginning to form in Jane’s head.

  ‘Yes. And since my Lionel passed away, I suppose I don’t need all that space. But, then, with Susie and the boys popping in and out, I hadn’t really noticed. But just this week…’ Her mouth trembled slightly. ‘Well, it’s been a bit lonely. But I’ll get over it.’ She pasted on a bright smile and straightened her shoulders.

  ‘Anna, I want you to think about something.’ Slowly, thoughtfully, Jane made a steeple of her fingers and propped them under her chin. ‘Take as much time as you need and then get back to me with your decision.’ Choosing her words carefully, she began to tell Anna about Julie and her children.

  ‘Anyone have any problem cases they want to air before we shut up shop?’ Ralph Mitchell looked expectantly around the table at his medical team. It was Friday again and their usual staff meeting was winding down.

  ‘I do.’ Angelo loosened his tie and locked his hands behind his neck. ‘Four-year-old child, Emma Crossingham. She’s exhibiting very disturbed behaviour and I can’t find anything physically wrong. Normally, she’s apparently well behaved. Of late, impossibly naughty.’

  ‘Parents?’ Jane asked.

  ‘Seem OK. Tuned in to her needs. Mum, Sandrine, works in the bank, Dad is a builder. They’re at a loss. Her kindergarten teacher equally so.’

  ‘Exactly what form does her behaviour take?’ Riley brought his dark head up, his gaze faintly narrowed.

  Angelo tapped his pen end to end on the desk. ‘Bursts into tears for no reason, huddles up on her own behind the furniture, sleeping pattern’s all over the place.’

  ‘Nightmares?’ Riley probed quietly.

  Angelo nodded. ‘Real doozies according to her mum.’ He looked wryly at his colleagues. ‘Anyone got any bright ideas before I refer her?’

  ‘If you’ve no objection, I’d like to see her.’ Riley looked at his colleague intently, as though his thoughts were churning at the speed of light.

  ‘Fine.’ Angelo gave open-handed approval. ‘Go for it.’

  ‘I came across a fair bit of child trauma with MSF.’ Almost absently, Riley reopened his diary, letting the pages flutter past his fingers. ‘Sometimes just asking the right questions can trigger a breakthrough. I’m in the surgery tomorrow morning. Any chance I could schedule an appointment with the family then? The sooner we get the poor little kid sorted out, the better, for everyone’s sake.’

  ‘I couldn’t agree more.’ Ralph had the final word, and stood up. ‘Monica hasn’t left yet. I’ll ask her to try to get hold of the parents on my way out and let you know, Riley.’

  ‘Right. Thanks, Ralph.’

  There was a general movement around the table, with papers being shuffled and briefcases either snapped or zipped closed.

  ‘Hey, you two,’ Angelo sent a quick look under his brows at Riley and Jane before he spun round to rinse his mug at the sink. ‘Instead of sloping off to your separate caves this evening, what about having dinner with Penny and me?’ His white teeth glinted in a dry smile. ‘Pen’s had a rough week at the hospital so I promised to cook.’

  ‘Sounds good to me.’ Riley’s head came up sharply and he looked directly across at Jane.

  Her heart thumped. It had been ages since they’d been invited anywhere as a couple. Perhaps this was the right time to start. After all, socialising with a colleague and his wife could hardly be classed as daunting. Before she could begin raising doubts, she smiled at Angelo and accepted his invitation.

  ‘And don’t dress up,’ he instructed, as he hitched up his bag and made for the door. ‘I’ll throw something together and we’ll eat out on the deck.’

  There was a telling little silence after Angelo’s departure.

  ‘Should we take separate cars?’ Riley’s eyes seemed to burn into Jane’s across the table.

  Her stomach turned over. They both knew he was asking far more than that. ‘What would you suggest?’ She threw the decision back to him.

  ‘I’d like us to go together.’

  Her throat dried. All her thinking lately had seemed to make it painfully clear that if she and Riley wanted their marriage back, they would have to make a connection physically as well as emotionally. And while they both slept alone, that was never going to happen…She took a deep breath. ‘All right. About seven?’ Her voice faded away.

  He nodded. ‘And relax, Jane,’ he added on a sigh. ‘The other half of this decision is still
ultimately yours.’

  Thanks for nothing, Riley, she thought, a baffled kind of anger engulfing her as she went out to her car. Well, what do you want? her inner voice mocked her. For your husband to take the decision of whether you resume your marriage out of your hands?

  As if!

  She dressed in a cool, silky silver-grey dress that matched her eyes and which flared out softly almost to her ankles. She used make-up sparingly and brushed her hair until it shone.

  Riley was right on time. She went to let him in, sharply aware that her mouth felt as dry as dust, her heart beating way too fast. ‘Hi.’ She blinked out into the soft night. ‘Come in for a minute. I’m quite ready.’

  ‘You look lovely.’ His dark eyes gleamed briefly.

  ‘Thanks.’ Her heart lurched. ‘Um, can you wait a tick? I’ll just put my answering-machine on.’

  Riley reversed out of her driveway. ‘I thought we’d pick up some light beer on the way.’

  ‘Sounds good.’ Jane sent him a stilted little smile. ‘It was nice of them to ask us.’

  ‘We’ll have to return the hospitality one of these days,’ Riley said quietly.

  ‘Yes…’ Jane took a deep breath and firmed her voice. ‘I’ve told the rest of the staff about us.’

  There was a tiny beat of silence.

  ‘And what was their reaction?’

  She huffed a cracked laugh. ‘Oh, a bit mixed. Monica said she’d guessed as much. Vicki said, and I’m quoting, ‘‘You’re a lucky duck to be married to such a hunk.’’’

  Riley snorted. ‘Comes of being young and innocent. What was Trish’s reaction?’

  ‘She just gave one of those enigmatic smiles she’s so good at.’

  In the dimness of the car, their eyes met for the fraction of a second. ‘Her husband’s in the navy.’ Riley’s reply was studied. ‘She misses him. I imagine she thinks we’re quite nuts to be living separate lives.’

  They carried on to their host’s home in silence.

  Angelo Kouras and his wife, Penny Chou—she still continued to use her maiden name—lived high on a hill on the outskirts of Mt Pryde in an old Queenslander they were gradually restoring.

  ‘As you can see, we’ve finished the back deck and the kitchen,’ Angelo explained proudly. ‘Bathroom as well. But I’ll have to show you that later.’ He grinned. ‘Pen’s just hopped under the shower. She had an emergency at the last minute.’

  ‘Your wife’s an anaesthetist at the hospital, isn’t she?’ Riley prowled across the softly lit deck, which looked down into untamed bushland.

  ‘She’s the anaesthetist,’ Angelo said wryly. ‘The hospital’s painfully understaffed at the present.’

  ‘Did you meet on the ward, like Riley and me?’ Jane asked.

  ‘More or less.’ Angelo grinned. ‘Now, what can I get you both to drink?’

  ‘A white wine spritzer would be lovely, thanks, Angelo.’

  Jane touched a hand to the passionfruit vine that crept in abundance around the lattice, its flamboyant purple flowers closed now that the sun had departed.

  ‘Coming up. Riley?’

  Riley shrugged. ‘Beer’s fine, mate.’

  ‘Then how about we crack open a couple of the cold ones you brought, OK? No, stay there,’ he insisted, when Riley would have gone to help. ‘I’ll bring the drinks out. It’s too nice an evening to be inside.’

  ‘It is, isn’t it?’ Riley responded, joining his wife at the railing, his arm curving around her shoulders, drawing her into his side. ‘And it feels good to be out as a couple again, amongst friends…’ The intensity of the softly spoken words trickled down Jane’s backbone.

  ‘Those cicadas are deafening, aren’t they?’ Penny chuckled. ‘Comes of having all this bush around us, I suppose.’ She’d joined Jane on the deck and they were enjoying their drinks together while the men’s attention was taken up with the barbecue at the other end of the long deck.

  ‘Do you miss Sydney?’ Jane picked up a cracker and scooped some salsa onto it.

  ‘Heavens, no!’ Penny shook her head, her inky black hair rippling across her shoulders. ‘I miss family but I love it here. But, then, I’d love it anywhere as long as Angelo and I were together. It must be brilliant, having Riley back.’ She arched a teasing eyebrow at Jane. ‘I guess you’re still making up for lost time.’

  Jane gave a stilted laugh and made a noncommittal sound. Obviously, Angelo hadn’t told his wife about the marital situation between her and Riley. Her fingers tightened on her wineglass. How much longer could they stand it? she agonised. Married, yet not married at all.

  Unashamedly, she took the easy way out and let Penny make the conversation, her light, lilting voice filling the gaps with ease. Jane’s thoughts were elsewhere and a huge weight seemed to settle on her shoulders. Should she ask Riley to stay tonight? Was it all ultimately down to her whether they salvaged their relationship?

  The thought made her go still.

  Finally, with a flourish, Angelo announced that dinner was ready and invited everyone to take their places at the trestle-style wooden table.

  When they were seated, he said a simple grace before their meal. ‘We should never take our food for granted,’ he added a bit gruffly.

  ‘I couldn’t agree more.’ Riley’s face became shuttered for a second before he helped himself from the platter of freshly barbecued fish Angelo passed along the table.

  Penny rolled her eyes. ‘Hey, guys, lighten up. I’m sure we’re all suitably thankful for what we have.’

  ‘The meal looks absolutely wonderful,’ Jane came in, fulsome in her praise, which brought a wry grin from her husband.

  ‘I’ve still got a way to go, haven’t I, Janey? This fish is fantastic, mate. I can taste the garlic but what’re the other herbs?’

  Angelo looked pleased. ‘Ginger and coriander—fresh, of course.’

  ‘I keep telling him, if he goes off medicine, he could always open a restaurant.’ Penny laughed. ‘And the meal is lovely, darling. Thank you.’

  Angelo gave a sheepish grin. ‘Heck, it was just something I threw together.’

  ‘Oh, yeah?’ the three echoed laughingly, and an easy companionship descended on the group.

  Later, over Irish coffee, Angelo asked, ‘So, Riley, how are you finding country life? Going to settle in?’

  There was a short, significant silence, a silence which to Jane was so palpable that it had the effect of making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

  ‘I’ve no complaints so far,’ he said, raising his coffee-cup. ‘It’s a big adjustment from where I spent the last year, of course.’

  ‘I had a friend who signed on with Médecins Sans Frontières.’ Penny helped herself to an apricot-and-brandy-flavoured after-dinner mint. ‘She lasted barely three months. Said it was the pits. You must have great staying power, Riley.’

  Except when it came to marriage, Jane thought bleakly. She took a steadying breath and told herself for the umpteenth time to let the past go.

  ‘The life is certainly not for everyone.’ Riley eased his shoulders into the back of the outdoor chair. ‘But, then, I never expected it to be a barrel of laughs.’

  ‘You’ve had them since you got home instead,’ Penny quipped irrepressibly.

  ‘Quite.’ Riley turned slightly, his gaze brushing Jane’s face, a silent question in his fathomless dark eyes.

  They talked inconsequentially as they drove home—about the lovely meal, about the couple they’d just left, how well suited they were.

  ‘I wonder how we came across to them?’ Riley wondered aloud.

  ‘All right, I guess.’ Jane felt her nerves tighten.

  ‘All right?’ he echoed flatly.

  ‘Riley, what do you want me to say? We hardly come across as a loving couple.’

  ‘Whose fault is that?’

  She sighed. ‘Mine, I suppose.’ After a pause, she added, ‘I really do want things to change, Riley…’

  ‘I know you do. But when,
Janey?’

  As they turned into her driveway Jane felt the tension knotting inside her. Out of the corner of her eye she was aware of Riley’s hand on the ignition as he cut the engine. Moving quickly, she fumbled for the catch on her seat belt.

  ‘Are you coming in?’ Her voice sounded thick and vaguely husky.

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he scraped both hands through his hair and then, leaning forward, propped his elbow on the steering-wheel. ‘Are you out of love with me, Jane?’

  The words and their implication struck her as painfully as fists. She blinked, meeting his gaze with difficulty, all kinds of emotions threading their way through her mind. ‘I agreed to tell you if I was.’

  ‘You haven’t made any effort to see me after work this week.’ His tone was reproachful.

  ‘I was waiting for you. I thought…’

  ‘What?’

  She twisted her hands in her lap. ‘I’m finding it difficult to…well, it feels like it’s all down to me.’

  ‘You want me to do the running?’

  Jane shook her head. ‘I’ve never been in this situation before. It’s difficult.’

  Riley let his breath go on a harsh sigh. ‘You’re acting like you want everything laid out in neat little packages, Jane. Life’s not like that.’

  She was stung. ‘You still don’t realise how much you hurt me and our marriage by your actions, Riley.’

  ‘The hell I don’t. I’m living with the results day after day. It’s two steps forward with you and three back.’ His voice had risen and tightened. ‘You’re punishing me, Jane.’

  Was she? Jane felt sick. In an agitated movement she lifted her hands, pleating her hair back behind her ears. ‘If that’s how it seems to you, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Are you afraid to let yourself love me again?’

  ‘I’m afraid of being hurt again.’ Jane had to push the words past the constriction in her throat.

  He grimaced. ‘If we’re to get past that point, we have to start somewhere.’

  ‘I know that.’ A tremor ran through her. ‘So…’ She licked her lips. ‘Do you want to stay tonight?’

  In the muted light their eyes locked. Finally Riley said heavily, ‘I think I’m the last thing you need tonight, Janey.’ He leaned back against the seat, his loose-limbed frame oddly tense. ‘You’re tired. It hasn’t been an easy week. Anyway, I want to do a bit of reading before I see Angelo’s patient tomorrow.’