“Where the fuck are you going?” Jason grabs my arm, but one look at my face and he releases it. “You can’t just walk away during a show, Madden. Hundreds of people paid good money to be here tonight.”
“Are you going to stop me?” When he doesn’t say anything, I add, “I didn’t think so. Make sure everyone gets a refund. I’ll pay them back out of my own pocket.”
A shit ton of flashes go off as I hurry through the building and out the back door, finally able to breathe the moment I step outside and head for my truck. I usually don’t drive to concerts, but I knew the moment I got off stage tonight that I’d be going straight to my truck and driving away. I just didn’t know it’d be this early.
With shaky hands, I reach for a cigarette and light it, before closing my eyes and leaning against the side of my truck. I need a moment to calm my nerves before getting behind the wheel.
My jaw tenses when I hear footsteps, but I keep my eyes closed, because I know I’ll lose my shit on whoever the fuck decided to follow me out here.
“Did you mean what you said inside?”
My heart jumpstarts at the sound of Natalie’s voice. I open my eyes to see her standing in front of me in a pair of ripped-up jeans and a white shirt with the leather jacket I gave her. Her hair is pulled into a side braid just like the first time I saw her, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe.
“Did you?” she questions again, taking a step closer. “I need to know, Madden.”
“Every fucking word, Nat.” I toss my cigarette and cup her face, my eyes meeting hers. Fuck, how I’ve missed looking into them. “I never should’ve let you drive away that day. I should’ve gone after you and showed up at your doorstep.” I step in closer until our bodies are touching. “I was a fucking asshole for not stepping up and fighting for you. I let my fear of losing you get the best of me and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t want space. I never fucking wanted space. All I want is you.”
“Then why didn’t you answer my calls?” She attempts to put some space between us, but I step in close again, not willing to let her go. “I called you for days and sent texts and got nothing in return.” Her voice is shaky, her emotions taking over. “I thought maybe you didn’t feel the same way I do. It hurt, Madden; really fucking bad. Do you realize how hard it was to function with those thoughts in my head, haunting me day and night? Do you? I’m pissed at you. I’m pissed that you couldn’t just pick up the phone and talk to me like an adult. I’m pissed that I wanted nothing more than to hear your voice and your laugh and it was nowhere to be found. I hated it so much.”
“I didn’t have a phone.” I move my hand around to grip the back of her neck as I rest my forehead against hers. “And fuck, Nat, do you think I wasn’t hurting too? That my heart didn’t fucking ache to think you didn’t want me back. I was terrified you’d realize I wasn’t good enough for you. It killed me. Every goddamn day.” I pause, my lips moving to brush hers. “I love you, Nat. I’m in love with you, and I just confessed it to a room full of people and walked out in the middle of a concert. That’s how much I love you. I’m willing to risk it all to be with you. I want you. Fuck that. I need you, and I’m not afraid to fight for you until you realize you want the same. If you need time…”
“Wait. What?” She shakes her head, her hands moving up to grab my face. “I walked out the moment you said you had a girl to go after. I wanted to catch you before you left.” She pauses for a second, before asking, “Did you really just do that? Tell a whole room full of people you’re in love with me?”
“Yes,” I whisper, gripping her neck tighter. “I’d do it again too; a million fucking times.”
“Dammit, Madden.”
I grip her face and hold it steady. “What? Are you mad at me for that?”
“No.” She stands on her tippy toes and wraps both arms around my neck. “I’m mad that I’m about to fucking cry, because I love you too. I’m so in love with you that it hurts when you’re not close. I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. I wasn’t supposed to switch brothers. I was supposed to continue pretending that I wasn’t attracted to you. That I didn’t secretly have a thing for the famous rock star that millions of girls have already fallen for. You made it hard to pretend. You made me love you, and I’m scared. I’m scared to lose you. I won’t survive it.”
“Me too. But I’ll risk it all for you, Nat. I don’t care what it takes, I want you as mine. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
“I want you to not hurt me.” Her eyes study mine and the fear in them breaks my fucking heart. “I know how that feels.”
“I’ll never hurt you, Nat. Fuck. Come here.” Grabbing the back of her head, I capture her lips with mine, my heart feeling full for the first time in over a week.
Her kiss is just as desperate as mine, her hands gripping my hair as I lift her up and wrap her legs around my waist.
“I love you,” I whisper against her lips, before gently biting the bottom one and tugging. “I want you here with me. Will you stay?”
She smiles against my lips and nods. “I might’ve quit my job to be here, so I don’t have to be back for a while.”
“Are you serious, Nat? You’re not fucking with me?” I gently grip her chin, forcing her to look me in the eyes. “You’re staying?”
“I’m staying. For as long as you want me to.” She pauses to kiss me. “I’m yours, Madden. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You have no idea what you’ve just gotten yourself into by becoming the rock star’s girlfriend.” I grab the back of her head and crush my lips against hers, climbing onto the tour bus and shutting the door behind us. “You sure you can handle that?”
“I guess we’ll find out.”
She truly has no idea. Because I don’t plan to leave her side unless I have to. Fuck, I might even bring her on stage with me. Natalie is mine; so fucking mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
NATALIE
I ignored Madden’s calls and texts the last day needing our first interaction to be in person. I needed to see his face for our conversation to see how he truly felt. The last thing I expected was for him to walk off stage to come after me. My plan was to show up dressed like the first time he saw me and wait for him to spot me out in the crowd.
I didn’t expect the concert to be as crazy and packed as it was, but apparently, RISK sells a lot more tickets now than two years ago. I should’ve known that when I bought a concert ticket and the show was nearly sold out.
It was easy to tell something was off with Madden on stage. He was even singing the wrong lyrics, and for a second, I was worried he’d spiraled into his old habits of getting so wasted he can’t function.
My heart was racing the whole time, waiting for something bad to happen. When he stopped the music and began talking to the crowd, I swear my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe the whole time I waited to hear what he had to say that was so important he stopped in the middle of a performance.
We can’t keep our mouths and hands off each other as Madden carries me to the back of the tour bus, past four bunks and into a private bedroom. The moment the bedroom door shuts behind us, he tosses me onto the bed and climbs on top of me.
My entire body is on fire with need as he yanks his leather jacket off of me and hurriedly undresses me as if he’ll die if he isn’t inside of me soon. I feel the same way. I want him inside of me and all over me. I want everything that is Madden Parker. I’m in love with this man and I never want to go without him again.
“Take it off, Madden.” I smile up at him when he rips his shirt over his head and tosses it aside, amused. “You don’t think I’ve noticed that hashtag trending?”
He smirks and sits up, teasingly undoing his jeans just to mess with me. “How badly do you want me to take these off?”
“Really fucking bad, rock star.” He grins and undoes the zipper, before grabbing the back of my head and kissing me hard. “I’m desperate at this point,” I tease, nibbling hi
s bottom lip. “Take them off. Now.”
He bites his bottom lip and lets out a small growl. “Fuck, I love it when you give me orders.” Standing up, he kicks out of his jeans and climbs back on top of me, his muscles bulging as he holds his weight above me. “I missed the shit out of you, babe. Don’t be surprised if we stay in this room for a couple of days. I have some making up to do.”
I close my eyes and moan when he trails kisses over my stomach and breasts, before pulling my bottom lip into his mouth. Everything he does is so sexy. The head of his dick against my entrance has me thrusting my hips up, desperate for him to sink into me. When he does, slow and deep, I cry out and bite his arm.
“Fuck,” he growls out, resting his forehead against mine. “You feel so damn good. All mine.”
After a few seconds, he begins moving in a slow, steady rhythm, every hard inch stretching me for him. He’s right. I’m his and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give for a million more moments with him like this. He has ruined me for all other men, because no one will ever come close to comparing to Madden. He’s my rock star and I plan to keep him.
His teeth scrape across my neck as he rotates his hips. This man knows what he’s doing, and I’m seconds away from an orgasm if he keeps moving his body so perfectly.
“Come for me, Nat,” he growls against my ear. “Show me that you’re mine. Only mine.”
Two more deep thrusts and my pussy clenches around his dick as an orgasm explodes through me. It’s so intense that I scream out and grip the sheet, my body thrashing below him.
“So goddamn beautiful when you come for me, babe.” His lips capture mine, before he pulls me onto him so that I’m straddling him. He’s careful at first—barely moving—before he grips my hip just the way I like and moves me up and down, hard and fast until he fills me with his cum.
The way he looks at me as he fills me has me losing my shit and coming for a second time. Just it being Madden is hot enough, but knowing that he’s in love with me too does something to me that I’ve never felt before.
I know without a doubt that I made the right choice. Madden is the right Parker brother for me. He’s my Parker brother, and I’m here for the long run. “I love you,” I whisper against his lips, wanting to reassure him that I’ve made up my mind. “Only you.”
“Fuck, babe.” He grips the back of my head with both hands and roughly kisses me. “I love you so much. It’s me and you. Whatever it takes I’ll make it work, and I’ll always put you first—before myself, before my band, and before anyone else in my life. You’re no longer an afterthought for someone else. You’re my number one. I won’t hurt you, Nat. That’s a promise.”
“I trust you,” I whisper, running my hands through his sweaty hair. “That’s why I’m here giving you my heart. I’m not going anywhere. No more breaks. No more time. I know what I want and that’s you. Always.”
His lips crash against mine as he lays me on my back. He’s still hard inside of me, and when he begins moving again, taking me slow and deep, I hold onto him for dear life, enjoying every second of his hands, mouth and body on me.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this feeling—having someone love me the way Madden does. I know it may not be an easy road ahead, figuring things out with his lifestyle, but I’m all in and ready to see what the future holds.
CHAPTER THIRTY
NATALIE
TWO MONTHS LATER…
I swear I’ll never get used to seeing Madden on stage surrounded by hundreds of screaming fans. It’s so much different than experiencing on a screen, which is how I’ve been watching their concerts over the years. I never imagined I’d be here, backstage, watching from a few feet away. Eight concerts later and it still feels surreal.
What is even more insane to me is that the moment the last song ends and he says goodnight to the crowd, he’s going to walk straight to me, pull me into his arms, and tell me how much he loves me. He’s done this after each concert, and every single time I fall more in love with him.
I never knew I could love someone the way I love Madden. I never imagined I’d need to be with someone every minute of the day or I’d miss them, but I feel that with Madden. I don’t see that changing anytime soon either.
“All right, Chicago! It’s been a fucking blast, but we have to call it a night soon. Make some noise if you want one last song!”
The crowd goes wild as Madden, Landon, and Hendrix throw their arms up to hype up the crowd. The screams and whistles are deafening as I join in making my own noise. It feels so good to be able to cheer them on and show my support. I wasn’t lying when I told Madden at the cabin that RISK is one of my favorite bands. I meant it, and they still are.
“Hell yeah, Chicago! That’s what we like to hear.” My heart races when Madden turns my way, his eyes locking on mine as he continues. “This next song is something I wrote with the help of my girl—the love of my life. This woman is the world to me. I need you all to show her some love!”
The crowd starts chanting “Natalie” repeatedly, and just like every time, my face turns red with embarrassment and I feel like I’m overheating. Especially when all attention is locked in my direction as if they all know where I stand at every concert. I swear he does this on purpose.
Another thing I’ll never get used to is random strangers stopping me in the streets, asking for a picture with me and fangirling over me because I’m Madden’s girl. It’s complete insanity if you ask me, and not something I ever wanted, but for Madden I’ll live that life. It’ll take some getting used to, but I’m sure it’ll die down eventually, when they all get bored of our relationship and it’s not so fresh.
Madden laughs into the mic as he begins playing his guitar, warming up for the song. “That’s a lot of love there. I think you earned it.”
The noise slowly dies down once the band joins in. Every time they perform this song I think back to our trip. I miss the week we spent there together walking in the woods and playing games. I even miss the bickering we did. It was nice having some privacy with him, and I’m already looking forward to the next trip.
“…hanging by a thread, and close to unraveling. I’m holding onto nothing, ready to give in. Even when I knew I shouldn’t want you, my heart wouldn’t let me stop. ‘Cause there’s no pretending you’re not here creeping into my bones. You’re crawling under my skin and it scares me shitless, in a way I’ve never known…”
By the end of the song, Madden is covered in sweat, and when he grabs a water bottle from the stool to pour it over his head like he always does, he smiles and winks at me. My heart jumpstarts just like every time he smiles in my direction.
“That’s all for tonight, Chicago!” he yells into the mic. “Who wants to see us next year?” The crowd screams at the top of their lungs and a few of the women in the front row start jumping up and down and reaching out for Madden as he walks by. “Fuck yeah, Chicago. You’ll be seeing us soon. Until next time…”
“Thank you for coming out tonight,” Landon adds. “We wouldn’t be here without your love and support.”
“Hell yeah!” Hendrix says next. “Who will we see in Wisconsin next weekend?”
A good portion of the crowd screams, which isn’t surprising. It seems a lot of their fans follow them around from show to show when they play close enough to their home state.
The other bandmates are still talking to the crowd, but the moment Madden gets free he walks directly to me, lifts me into his arms, and kisses me long and hard. My body ignites into flames when his tongue dips into my mouth and he lets out a little growl to show me how much he needed this kiss.
“You guys were incredible, as usual,” I point out when he sets me down to my feet.
“Is that right?” he whispers against my lips. “Did you see how the crowd went wild after our song?”
I smile and nod. “I don’t know why you still give me credit. I didn’t do anything other than—”
“Inspire it. You’re the reason I wrote the
song, Nat. You deserve credit. You had me in my feelings and confused as shit, because I knew even then that I wanted you. Scared the fuck out of me.”
“I was scared too, Madden. I still am at times.”
“Why?” He squeezes my hip and moves in closer.
“Because I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I’m scared shitless of these feelings I harbor inside me. They’re so overwhelming at times that I can’t breathe. Do you know how that feels?”
He smiles against my lips. “Yes.” His lips brush mine before he tugs the bottom one between his teeth. “Every fucking day.”
“You two lovebirds ready?” Landon asks, hurrying past us with his drumsticks. “We’ve got some autographs to sign.”
Hendrix squeezes his way in between us and smiles. He’s full of sweat and water just like Madden. “Miss me?”
Madden palms Hendrix’s face and pushes him out of our space. “Fuck no, she didn’t miss you.” He laughs when Hendrix kisses me on the cheek and runs away. “I guess we should hurry and get this night over with so we can be alone. You down for that?”
I nod and wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m always down for being alone with you. How quickly do you think you can sign those autographs?”
“Depends…”
“On what?” I tease.
“On what you plan to do to me once we’re alone?”
“Careful, rock star,” I tease. “I might have my taser in my back pocket.”
Reckless Rock Star (Cocky Hero Club) Page 26