Wench With Wings

by Cassidy, Rose D.

  He was drawing in his first class, but the meaning of it was starting to slip from his mind. That’s all he could think of was his next fight. The professor had to tap him on the shoulder to signal the end of class. He didn’t even bother with the next one; he ditched it to run. While he ran he became more and more pissed; he collapsed on a patch of grass and passed out from exhaustion with anger. When he woke it was dark and he headed to the bar. A few women approached him and he shunned them; he just order another shot as they strode away. Drunk he was; the fourth women to approach, he smirked and let her bring him home. When they walked into her place he didn’t bother to slow her down; he let her be the sleaze she wanted to be. He took her right there in front of the door, bent over her couch, pulled his pants up that were bunched up at his boots instead of off completely then he walked out without a word to her. The situation was enlightening in a way he never thought it could be. She liked it, she wanted it and now so did he.

  She let her art guide her into a certain closure for the week. She text Gwen and Jocelyn to take care of things; the training, the girl's talks, the shop that she didn’t show her face in, all of it. When she did go to her place she went through the back door straight to the shower then to sleep. The morning pep talk’s; gone completely and replace with a new picture in her head to draw that day. Parks to draw, the art studio to look, that’s how she filled her days; with lies just to get by. Being an artist is all that has kept her throughout the years and this is what she would do; shut herself off from the world, from society and create beautiful works of art that the world would ponder on and she would be alone doing it and blind to what they all see her works to be.

  To treat a women the way she truly wanted was like something he never thought to make him excited. He went through his days blind; asleep from the nights he stayed up to get as hammered as he could. Yup, shit faced and fucked; well, he was the one doing the fucking that is. The week for him went by without a true thought in his mind, other than the sleazes. ‘If I treat the same one that way, would she throw me away?’ It’s what he thought as that same girl from the first night approached him for a second time. ‘Unbelievable, she's back for more even though I treated her like shit. Maybe that was all I was missing, I was just stupid enough to be nice.’ If he ever did see a women he already had; was good to, they would just smile and walk away. What, not satisfied, satisfied? He had no clue, but here this women was bringing him home for the second time. He threw her against the door roughly, and tore the cloths from her savagely, she screamed in delighted pleasure, he dropped the fight then dropped her to the floor and slammed into her wreaking-ly, stealing only his pleasure within minutes. He left her on the floor in a heap of only more want as he walked out buttoning his jeans, satisfied. She was there; at the bar the next night walking to him for more, he smirked not surprised then his phone chimed. Comhrac ~ FH3 ~ 10 ~ AJ & KB…. It’s as far as he read, he didn’t bother with the rest. He shoved past the girl and through the door. He would fight tonight! He would endure hearing Trey speak but he would not look at her at all. He didn’t need to anymore; she was only just like the rest anyway.

  She wasn’t up there to talk, Jocelyn was and the second he heard her voice he snapped his head up for the first time since walking in. That’s when Dane walked over to him and ask, “Where have you been all week?”

  “Out,” was all he could say. He was a bit stunned at the missing Trey.

  “Trey’s not here tonight, apparently she had a gallery opening, one of her art works are being displayed tonight.”

  “Really?” Dane could hear the skepticism in his voice so he elaborated.

  “Yea, Jos just told me, she showed me a picture that Trey sent to her an hour ago, but I guess she had to stay at the party till it was over. She is the artist, after all, that is being introduced tonight.”

  “Huh. Didn’t even know she did things like that. Well, I’m up.” He walked out to the ring and didn’t stare in the eyes of his opponent long he really didn’t care why this girl fought he was just gonna give her what she wants; one hell of a fight. It took not even three minutes to knock her out and it was a quick thrust of his fist to her face right after he let her get one in. ‘It’s for show right?’ He sang as he left without staying for the rest.

  She stood in front of her piece, shaking hands with everyone who approached her. She bent her head in acknowledgement to them but didn’t care to comment. She didn’t even want to be there. When she talked to the owner of the gallery she tried getting her to see she didn’t want this part; her standing there meeting people who wanted to discuss her art, but she was forced; she wanted the money knowing she needed it; she made none at the shop this week and she was leaving her cut from the fight tonight to be split between the next three in line in her pack. Bills needed to be paid before she could let the place go and find a cheaper one. She didn’t want the shop any longer; it was tainted with Ayden always in her chair, tainted by all the men that came to her room. She wanted to forget it all and that place would not let her.

  She thought about the fight that she was missing tonight; Ayden would be fighting. He could have it. Have what he worked for. Have what he knocked her control down for. She didn’t let Jos and Gwen know her plan, but she would soon; she doesn’t want the fights no more; she didn’t want to fight no more, she lost the purpose; the meaning of it gone to her, all of it. She cared about the women and their image of; the need of respect and hers all this time when really, how could she; she has no heart. It wasn’t the fight that she was meant for. The fight to make it through her father, to heal after his abuse. The fight was to survive that all and be okay with it then move on from it, to be what she really wanted to be, who she was meant to be; an artist.

  He left as soon as his fight was over, texting Dane to pick up his pay from it. He knew Trey was an artist; he didn’t know she was one for a display though. He thought she just did it for the tattoo shop. He didn’t know she had the same dream for herself as he did. His curiosity got the best of him, he wanted to see what it was of hers on display, but he didn’t want to see her. He jumped on his bike and drove around wasting time. He drove past a few times and people were still there so he drove some more. An hour went by and his next trip around the place was close to closing so he parked and went in hoping that she was no longer there.

  She spotted him as he walked through the doors and she ducked out the back. ‘Why would he be here? Damn it who cares.’ She stalked over to her bike and sat on it pondering if she should just wait till he came back out so she could explain her disappearance to the owner and collect her pay. She wanted to just up and leave, but she knew she couldn’t so she just sat there and waited.

  He was entranced by her work and even more pissed. The title; Stand up for what you believe in. Which one do you believe in more? There is always a choice. It explains more than he has ever found out about Trey. There was a crowd of people and one women standing above all of them, her ghost standing away from the crowd with her head down and shoulders slumped in defeat with a sketch pad in one hand and a pencil falling from her other. Next to it was another drawing of the same but the ghost had both the sketch pad and pencil in her hand and she stood tall with her back to the crowd like she was heading away. ‘She’s turning her back to the fights. She’s throwing her whole life away. What a sham not a shame; fake-weak.’ He walked out pissed; everything he thought about this women was wrong. He threw his helmet on and took off, he stopped at the red light and turned to his right, there she was sitting on a bike. The guy behind him honked his horn and Ayden flipped him off; he really wanted to flip her off. ‘Why? Why did I have to see her like that, on a bike, really? A spectacular artist and can ride a bike and can fight and can organize it and can be the queen and can have wit and can give tats, but is giving up. WTF. She doesn’t have to choose and give up.’ He became more pissed and took off out of her sight.

  ‘Was that him on the bike? It had to be, but why did he have to ride too?
’ It just made her that much more pissed but more settled that she was making the right choice and leaving all of it behind. She couldn’t control her emotions around him; she couldn’t be just in the moment without screwed up emotions.

  That following Monday sitting against her tree, sketch pad out and an apple in her hand, Ayden came strolling up, “Didn’t peg you for a quitter, than again you are just a girl.” He didn’t know what possessed him to say it and he was a bit shocked he even bothered. He walked away quick and she gave no retort, he was happy for at least that. It proved what he was thinking was right. She couldn’t keep up with fake; who could if that’s not truly who they are.

  ‘Just a girl’ She couldn’t believe what she just heard. The process speed of her brain completely shut down; she had nothing to say. ‘Quitter, ha!’ She didn’t think she was quitting she simple thought that she would be who she was truly meant to be; an artist. She threw the words he said out of her mind; they were only a lie.

  He wasn’t happy for at least that, he was pissed she didn’t jump up and defend herself. ‘How could she just forget about everything she has done?’ How could she just lose her wit? He didn’t understand; she has been so confident and had so much drive, fire since the day he met her and here she was just ignoring it all. It was easy to judge her and forget about what he was doing; ignoring it all too.

  He skipped his last class, he just had to get out of there, he didn’t want a chance at another run in with her again. He walked for a while, reached the park pulled his sketchbook out of his back pack and started flipping through it. He got the book when he first moved here and even his first drawing had something to do with her. He threw it back in his bag and walked back to get his bike; he could be good driving around or so he thought. A few miles down the road a picture of her on her bike flashed in his mind. He didn’t see what hit him; he just laid there on the ground with his eyes closed; unthinking.

  After her last class she took off on her bike for a ride. A few miles down the road she got a pain in her chest and racing thoughts that made no sense. She felt worried she just didn’t know why, than the thought of her crashing sped through her mind. She turned the bike around and headed back to her place. She walked through the shop, past a bitching Jos not hearing a word she spit Treys way. She headed to her freezer, grabbed her best man Jack, a joint off the table and went to the hot tub. She refused to think, refused to feel, she just stared off in space without a thought or a care. A few hours went by, she was a grape on a hot, dry summer day; wrinkled but merely; shriveled up inside herself. She crawled into bed and slept for longer than she has ever slept.

  ‘Where the hell am I?’ He looked around the room and it hit him. ‘I crashed and I’m not dead. Huh?’ He laid there thinking about how it was her he was thinking about instead of riding. ‘Why can I not get her out of my head? It literally is dangerous. She don’t want me, she won’t have me, she won’t fix me and honestly she’s a bitch and I don’t want her, not anymore so why can I not get her out; throw her away like so many did to me before?’ He didn’t want to think of the possible answers to any of those questions he just asked himself so he hit the button for the nurse to come. She told him that he was fine, that he only had a few scrapes and bruises that he was lucky and could go. ‘Lucky, ha,’ he thought and grabbed his phone off the table next to him and sent Dane a text to pick him up and where. He met Dane out in front of the hospital an hour and a half later. “What the hell took you so long and where is your bike?”

  “I was waiting for discharge papers and my bike is at that shop the next street over from the school.”

  “You crashed?” Dane said surprised, Ayden never crashes.

  “Yep!”

  “What happened?”

  “Don’t know and don’t care to know, just wanna go to my bed, so could ya go.” Dane just looked at him and shook his head then left. He knew there was something up with Ayden, but he also knew Ayden wouldn’t say a damn thing about what was bothering him. He had a feeling it had something to do with Trey and he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut; like the friend he’s been for as long as he can remember.

  The next day he didn’t even bother with school at all he waited in bed as long as he could than went to get his bike when Dane got home. He looked at it in the front lawn and thought to fix it, but headed to the bar instead. He drank away his pain, turning it back to anger and took the offer of the first girl that approached him.

  Days went on for the both of them without a single thought off the past. They were both a complete mess; him with the drinking and sleazes and her drunk or lost in her art work. Gwen sent her a text about a fight and her only response was for Gwen to take care of it. He got the text for the fight and he was not on the list so he didn’t bother to go. They both skipped it and let the time go by. Another week went by; anger rooted as deep as a thousand old willow tree; it wept a raging river. Willow trees are known for their unique weeping branches with their angry roots greater than the tree above calling to the waters to surround them, destroying everything in their path. That is what best explains Ayden and Trey; they were lost in the leaves that were taken away by the wind; scattered, angry and weeping the only way they knew how; sturdy as a willow tree.

  The next Thursday night rolls around and Trey walks through the shop to get to her bedroom upstairs when a shout finally registers, “Are you over your selfish pity yet?” Jocelyn didn’t shout, but to Trey it sure felt like that. She jumped in front of her and gave her a disgusted look along with the disappointed attitude in her voice. Trey looked in her eyes that showed how lost Jos really was and wanted to care, wanted to help, but the words register and she only got pissed. “Over my selfish pity? Seriously Jocelyn?”

  “Yea, Trey pity. I don’t know what happened between you and Ayden but seriously he is only a guy, get over it.”

  “God, Jos! Do you really think it has anything to do with him? Because it doesn’t. I’m trying to focus on my art career.”

  “Really? Than what happened to the fights, what happened to the phycology career, what even happened to the best friend that I thought I had?” Jocelyn was upset and Trey could see it, but she also knew that nothing could change it, she had no heart, no care to even have a friend.

  “Unbelievable, does everything always have to be about you Jos and you call me selfish.” Trey moved around her and shot up the stairs. ‘The nerve of her,’ she thought. She had to, how else would she be able to get through another of her downfalls again. She’d push them all away just to stay the way she’s been. She likes being lost in art. She hit the bed with a sigh then heard Jos and Gwen stamping up the stairs. She didn’t bother to say a thing, after a few moments of silence Gwen spoke, “We’re worried about you Trey. We don’t really know anything about your past, but what we do know is who you have been for just over a year; our best friend, our leader. You’re a helper, giver of advice, strong advice. You have a gift for making people believe and want what you say. You’ve given so many chic's including us belief in ourselves. You’ve created something wonderful and great with the fights and it just seems like your throwing all of it away. You have an amazing drive toward what you believe and we just haven’t seen it lately. It doesn’t matter why, that is if you don’t want to talk about it and we have given you the space you’ve asked for, but we can see that you need your friends so here we are, whatever you need.”

  “Right now I need you to get out and leave me alone.”

  “Whatever. We need to set a fight for this week and you’re up on the list.” Jocelyn spit out with fury, this wasn’t her Trey and she did not like it.

  “Set it for later, text me the details.” They both turned and walked out. A half hour later she got the text which pissed her off more. Ayden was in the lineup too. She didn’t want to see him fight; she didn’t want to see him at all. The more she thought about the fight the more pissed she became. She had to go or it would fail for everybody that’s put the effort in, she h
ad to fight or people would talk, she had to speak because that’s what people expected. She didn’t care about any of it at all, but she knew she would have to suck it up and do it all because she wouldn’t let Jos, Gwen and Pay take the fall if it did get busted. If she lost the fight tonight she would be able to get out of it. She could then hand it over to them and let them decide what to do with it. It would be their decision if they wanted to keep it going.

  He got the text while taking his first shot at the bar and he cringed. Trey would be fighting tonight so she will be there and she would see the way he was going to win. If she bothered to pay attention that is. On his walk over there the thought of her opening words crossed his mind. He didn’t want to hear her knowing it was his favorite thing about her, but he would have to, he was the first fight of the night. Her voice carried to him differently than before. “Alright, alright let’s get this show on the road. You know the deal, you know the line up, get your bets in and enjoy the night of fights.” There was no drive, no excitement, no meaning in her words. No happy announcer trying to get people pumped up to bet to have fun ‘She lost her care.’ He knew that without the care of their queen they soon would stop believing. He wanted to do something he just didn’t know what or how or even if he cared.

  She didn’t bother to look up at his fight and the quickness of his win made her believe he just wanted it over with, just like she did. When it was her turn she dreaded as she walked to the circle, a voice catching her ear, “You gonna quit here too and prove to me how much of a girl you really are.” She was pissed, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of looking up at him instead she walked on and stepped into the ring. She took a quick glimpse at the guy without bothering to look in the depths of his eyes. She’s seen the guy fight so she took a step toward him and he striked, she dodged with a spin kick to the side of his head then catching him with an upper cut to the chin as he stumbled back, knocking him out cold. She jumped up on her table and spoke, “Th-th-tha-tha-that’s all folks, no anvils, no smoke, off the cliff Wile E. Coyote goes.” She throws her hand toward the guy on the ground she just knocked out, front flips off the table and speeds through the crowd as ‘Road Runner’ would. She’s gone before Ayden could catch a glimpse of her.