Shoulda Been A Cowboy: Rough Riders, Book 7

by Lorelei James

  “No. He was alone.”

  “Ah fuck. Ah Jesus. Ah Christ. I can’t believe…” Tears smarted. Cam couldn’t think beyond dead dead dead. This tragic shit happened to other people, not to his family. Not this many goddamn times. First Dag. Now Luke? Fucking senseless accidents. Jesus. He spun away, clenching his hands into fists, shoving the anguish into the corner inside himself where darkness and misery dwelled.

  “Under normal circumstances, I’d notify next of kin. But in this case…are you up to doing it?”

  It never occurred to Cam to say no. It was his duty as an officer and a family member. “Yeah. It ain’t gonna be easier on Jessie or my cousins or my uncle and aunt if the bad news comes from me.”

  “I wish to fucking God you didn’t have to do it at all,” Shortbull said wearily. “But I’ll be making plenty of late night visits to other families.”

  A couple of shouts sounded, breaking the surreal silence.

  “Does that mean the other victims have been ID’d?”

  “Luke and the truck driver both positively ID’d. There’s an Indian guy on the other side we can’t get info on. He didn’t carry a wallet and the car is registered to the tribe, so that’s no help. The couple in the crushed car…theirs was the first vehicle to hit the semi. Due to speed and lack of visibility, they hit hard and flipped. It’s a real mess.”

  Still reeling from the news his cousin Luke was dead, Cam barely nodded to show that he was listening.

  Deputy Sayzers trotted over with a piece of paper. “We’ve got a registration name on the car.”

  “Who?”

  “Rex DeMarco.”

  That caught Cam’s attention. “Who did you say?”

  “Rex DeMarco. Do you know him?”

  “Not personally. His ex-wife put a restraining order on him a few years back before I started working here. He had issues with domestic disturbances.”

  “Now I remember. So the woman in the car…who is she?”

  Grimly, Cam said, “I’d bet money it’s his ex-wife, Nadia DeMarco.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Domini is friends with Nadia, and Nadia recently started spending time with her ex again. As a matter of fact, Domini agreed to watch their son tonight so they could go out.”

  Shortbull whistled. “That poor kid. With both his parents dead, who’s his next of kin?”

  “No one. Nadia emigrated from Bosnia so she’s it as far as family.”

  “And the father?”

  “No local family for him either.”

  “I’ll make the call to Social Services and give them the heads up.” Shortbull sighed. “That boy is gonna go through hell.”

  Cam’s brain was stuck on breaking the bad news. But something in Shortbull’s tone jarred him. “You ain’t gonna make him ID his parents?”

  “No! Jesus, McKay. What kind of monster do you think I am?”

  “I don’t. I just…” Cam dry-scrubbed his face. “Shit. Sorry. I ain’t exactly thinkin’ straight.”

  “Understandable.”

  They trudged back to the other side. Emergency lights blinked. The ambulances waited silently as the Search and Rescue guys worked on getting Rex’s and Nadia’s bodies out of the car.

  Thirty minutes ticked by. Cam paced so much his shirt was damp from sweat and his prosthesis hurt like a bitch. The tow trucks loaded the smashed vehicles onto flatbed trucks. This time of night there wasn’t much traffic, but cars were lined up both directions. Cam had to get to Jessie before someone in the community recognized Luke’s wrecked truck and called her to ask about it.

  Dread weighted him down as Sheriff Shortbull said, “Other people can handle this part. You’ll have enough trauma and drama to deal with.”

  Cam barely remembered driving to Luke and Jessie’s place—a doublewide trailer on the far edge of the McKay Ranch. A porch light burned. He glanced at the clock before he climbed out. Ten thirty. Christ. Had it only been two hours since he’d gotten the call? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  He lumbered up the steps, inhaling a deep breath before he knocked on the door.

  Lexie, Jessie’s dog barked inside the house. A voice hushed her, then a squeaking, sucking noise sounded as the inner door swung open.

  Is that what he’d remember of this night? The sound the door made before he gave Jessie the news that’d change her life forever?

  A pajama clad Jessie blinked at him with total confusion. “Cam? What are you doing here?”

  “Jessie. There’s been an accident.”

  Her gaze widened at his deputy’s uniform, realizing he was there on official business. The blood drained from her face. “Luke?”

  Cam nodded.

  “Is he all right?”

  “No.” Cam forced his body and his voice to stay steady. “Luke didn’t survive. I’m so sorry.”

  “What? Luke is…” She swayed but righted herself before Cam could get to her. “When?”

  “About two hours ago.”

  “Where did this happen?”

  “A semi jackknifed in Shep’s Canyon. Because of the fog…there was really nothing he could’ve done. It happened fast.”

  “Was anyone else with him?”

  Cam shook his head. “There were fatalities in other vehicles that also hit the semi, but Luke was alone.”

  “Did you tell Luke’s folks? Or his brothers?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to let you know first. I’m sorry.”

  When Jessie started to cry, Cam knew the sound of the squeaking door wouldn’t stick in his mind, but the hiccupping sobs Jessie didn’t try to hold in.

  Without another word, Cam wrapped her in his arms. She clung to him and for the first time all night, he let himself grieve.

  Time was a black void of sorrow, but eventually Jessie eased back and looked at him through red-rimmed, horror-filled eyes. “Will you come with me to tell Brandt? He’ll—we’ll—need to tell Casper and Joan right after, but it’d be…better coming from him than from me.”

  “Of course.”

  “Let’s get this over with.” She stumbled down the deck steps.

  Cam said, “Jess, sweetheart, you’re gonna need shoes.”

  She froze and stared at her bare feet. Then back at him with an expression Cam recognized as shock.

  “Oh. Shoes. Right.” She reversed course and slipped her feet into a pair of muddy ropers that were propped on the welcome mat. Wrapping her arms tightly around her middle, she trudged to the passenger side of the patrol car.

  Neither spoke on the short, miserable drive to Brandt’s place. She stared out the windshield as tears dripped down her face.

  By the time Cam hit the end of Brandt’s driveway, Brandt waited on the porch steps. Not a lot of social calls this time of night. Cam parked, but neither he nor Jessie attempted to get out of the car.

  Jessie’s voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t want to tell him, Cam. This will ruin him. Brandt and Luke are so close.” Her voice caught on a sob. “Were so close. Oh God. I can’t do this.”

  “It’s okay. Stay here. I’ll take care of it.” Cam forced himself to open the door. Forced himself to walk the twenty feet to where his cousin stood. Forced himself to look his cousin in the eye.

  They stared at each other. Then Brandt said just one word. “Who?”

  “Luke.”

  A pain-filled sound cut the night air.

  It sliced Cam to the bone. He whispered. “Jesus, Brandt. I’m so sorry.”

  Brandt’s gaze zoomed to the passenger side of the car. “Where’s Jessie?”

  She was out of the car and sobbing in Brandt’s arms before Cam could answer.

  He had to look away. He had to get away. Yet, he couldn’t leave if they needed him. So he waited in hellish silence as Brandt and Jessie tried to hold one another up.

  “Cam?” Brandt said hoarsely.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you do something for me?”

  “Anything. Name it.”

 
“Give me a couple hours to talk to my folks and my brothers before you tell the rest of the family?”

  “Sure.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Anything you need, either of you, just ask, okay? We’re all gonna be here for you. Every one of us in the McKay family. Count on it.”

  “I appreciate it.” Brandt draped his arm around Jessie and they disappeared into the house.

  He’d been given a momentary reprieve on the family side of being the bearer of bad news. But he still had to get through the conversation with Domini.

  With a heavy heart, Cam climbed in his car. But a mile from Brandt’s place he had to pull over on the shoulder. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel and wept.

  Domini recognized the leaden tread coming up the stairs. Cam. Not Nadia.

  She frowned at the clock. Eleven-thirty. Nadia was never this late picking Anton up. She’d tried to call Nadia’s cell to tell her just to leave Anton over night, but Nadia didn’t pick up. Which was odd.

  She released the deadbolt and opened the door for Cam. Without looking at him, she headed for the living room. The climb up the stairs took a lot out of him and he hated her looks of sympathy. “Anton is still here, so I—”

  “Domini.”

  The way he said her name, so seriously, so full of regret and sadness had her spinning toward him.

  Her awareness jumped to full alert at the grief etched on Cam’s face.

  “What happened?”

  “There was an accident tonight. A bad accident.”

  “And you were called to the scene?”

  “I wasn’t first on scene, but everyone was called, including help from other counties.”

  She touched his arm, wanting to appease him, not knowing if he’d welcome it. “Oh, Cam. I’m so sorry. That had to be rough.”

  “Makes it rough when the victims are someone you know.”

  Her stomach lurched. “Someone you knew? Who?”

  “My cousin Luke, for one.”

  “Oh my God. What can I do?”

  Cam shuffled his feet. “Can we sit down? I’ve been on my feet half the damn night.”

  “Sure.” Domini led him to the sofa. She wanted to snuggle up, smooth the frown lines from his brow and erase the haggard look from his eyes. But something about his posture made her keep her distance.

  “I just left Luke’s wife, Jessie, with his brother, Brandt.” He shuddered. “It about tore me up to tell them. It was just so goddamn surreal. Like this is all happening to someone else.”

  “You had to tell them?” Jessie’s sweet face flickered in Domini’s mind. The poor woman. What an awful thing to deal with.

  “It’s part of my job.” He took her hands in his. “There’s no easy way to do this. So I’m just gonna say it flat out. Luke wasn’t the only victim tonight.”

  The first niggling of fear crept in.

  “It was a multiple car crash with multiple fatalities. Not so uncommon in Wyoming, sad to say.” Cam briefly ran down what’d happened. As he relayed the information, he seemed to be watching her very closely. Too closely.

  “Who else was in the accident, Cam?”

  “Nadia and Rex.”

  Stunned didn’t begin to describe her thoughts. “What? No. You’re mistaken.”

  Cam shook his head. “I’m sorry. It’s been confirmed.”

  “No. It can’t be. She’ll be here any minute.”

  “Rex owns a red Taurus, right?”

  “Lots of people drive red Taurus’s.”

  “The car was licensed to him.”

  “So? That doesn’t mean—”

  “Nadia was out with him tonight, wasn’t she? And she hasn’t come to pick up Anton. And she’s not answering her cell phone. You know that’s not like her.”

  Domini stared at him, the horror expanding in her chest. The room started to spin. White dots danced in front of her eyes. A din of pain pealed in her brain. Her heart seized as her throat closed. “Oh no. Please no.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh God, I’m going to be sick.”

  Cam placed his hand on the back of her neck and gently shoved her head between her knees. “Breathe. Nice and slow. That’s it.”

  Her tears plopped on the carpet. She swallowed over and over to keep the bile down. Gagging on her disbelief.

  And through the maelstrom of emotions, Cam’s constant, soothing caresses drifted up and down her back.

  Finally, she managed to sit up. “This isn’t a bad dream.”

  The awful truth filled Cam’s eyes.

  “Nadia. I can’t believe… How can she be dead? I just saw her a few hours ago.” Domini went straight from a sick feeling to pure panic. She began to hyperventilate through her tears. “I can’t—”

  Cam swore. Then his hands held her head and he was in her face. “Breathe, baby. Come on. Look at me. Focus on me. Just breathe with me. Inhale slowly. Good. Now exhale. That’s it. Three more times.”

  After three long breaths, she started to speak, but he put his thumbs over her mouth.

  “Huh-uh. We’ll talk when I know you ain’t gonna pass out. Just look in my eyes and breathe with me. That’s all you need to do right now.”

  Domini let him calm her. It took a while.

  He murmured, “Better?”

  She nodded. Inhaled once more. “What about Anton? How am I supposed to tell him his mother…is never coming back?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What will happen to him? Nadia had sole custody. She has no family. Anton has no one…but me.”

  “As far as I know, in situations like this, Social Services will step in and—”

  “No!” Domini jumped to her feet. She shot a look at the closed bedroom door where Anton was sleeping. Then she whispered fiercely, “He is not going into foster care. Ever.”

  “Domini, be reasonable.”

  “You can’t possibly expect me to be reasonable when I know how bad state care is.”

  Calmly, Cam said, “Really? How?”

  “Because my parents died when I was eleven,” she snapped. “With no family, I was shoved into an orphanage.”

  Shock crossed his face, followed by anger. “You were orphaned? Holy hell, Domini, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I don’t want to be pitied even more than I am.”

  “You’re not—”

  “You think I don’t know what people say about me? What they’ve said my whole life? Poor Domini, she’s so quiet she must lack a backbone. Poor Domini, she’s scared of dogs and her own shadow. Poor Domini, she lost her parents and grew up unwanted. Poor Domini, she can’t have—” She stopped mid-rant, cringing for the near slip-up. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want pity from you.”

  “Pity is the last goddamn thing I’d ever feel for you.” Cam softened his tone. “Besides, you’re coming up with worst-case scenarios. Foster care here is nothing like what you dealt with living in an orphanage in a foreign country.”

  “That’s your reasoning? I’m supposed to turn him over to an agency that knows nothing about him? I lived with him for two years, Cam. I’m a much better candidate to take care of him than some random person who’s only fostering kids for the money!”

  “You’d take him on, just like that?” Cam demanded. “Give up your life as you know it to raise him?”

  “In a heartbeat.” She stared at him. “Wouldn’t you do the same? For Brock? If he died and left a kid behind, wouldn’t you want to make sure he was taken care of?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then you do understand. You know that nothing you or anyone else says will change my mind. Anton belongs with me.”

  “Sit.”

  Domini paced as her feet tried to keep up with the jumbled thoughts in her head.

  His voice was sharper. “I said sit down. Now.”

  “Fine.” She perched on the very edge of the cushion, legs bouncing up and down impatiently.

  “Sheriff Shortbull know
s the victims left behind an unattended minor.”

  “How in the world does he know that?”

  “Because I told him.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Why would you do that to me?”

  “I didn’t do it to you.”

  “It feels like it.” God. This was a nightmare. She knew it wasn’t Cam’s fault but she couldn’t stop from lashing out at him.

  “Wrong. Goddammit. No matter what I feel for you, Domini, I am an officer of the court and I have an obligation to uphold the law. Making Social Services aware of Anton and his situation might not be what you’d do, but it’s what I have to do.”

  Domini studied Cam like she’d never seen him before. “And I’ll do what I have to do.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’ll take him away before I’ll turn him over.”

  He snatched her hands again. “Don’t tell me shit like that because I can’t just ignore it! What you’re talking about is illegal.”

  “What you’re talking about is unjust.”

  They glared at each other, which wasn’t what they needed right now. In the last twenty minutes her whole life had been turned upside down. She began to cry.

  “Hey.” He brought his knuckles to her cheek and wiped her tears. “Sorry about yelling at you. Just don’t scare me like that. After what I’ve seen tonight I can’t stand the thought of you—” His voice broke.

  Cam had lost a family member tonight and he was trying to keep it together for her. He deserved her sympathy, not her anger. “Cam. I’m sorry. I’m scared. For him. For me…” For us went unsaid.

  “We’ll get through this. I promise.” He stroked her jawline. “Let’s take it a day at a time, okay? Tomorrow morning you’ll tell Anton about his mom. Get through that first.”

  “But shouldn’t I tell him tonight?”

  “No reason to wake the boy to bad news when tonight is probably one of the last nights of sleep he’ll have for a long time.”

  Domini’s head spun. She just wanted to curl into Cam and let his solid presence surround her and reassure her.

  “Come here.” He hauled her onto his lap and buried his face in her hair. “I don’t want to fight with you after the day I’ve had and the shitty days in front of me.”