CUTTING LOOSE

by Kristin Hardy

  On the screen, the documentary switched to a couple playing with light bondage. "It's an incredible turn-on, when you know you can trust that person enough to let go," said a woman in a black peek-a-boo bra and G-string, holding hands with her partner. "I know I'm safe, I know if I say 'red,' everything stops. And it frees me up to let go."

  "It's all about trust," agreed her partner, shirtless, in leather trousers. "It's about watching her body, seeing what turns her on and knowing when to stop."

  On the screen, the woman lay on the bed and stretched her hands toward the bedposts. At the touch of the silk ropes, she shivered a little and stretched in arousal. "There's something amazingly erotic about just giving up control and worrying only about what I'm feeling," she said in voice-over as her companion trailed his fingers over her nipples. "I just let him take me away."

  What would it be like, Trish wondered—no responsibility, no self-consciousness. No worry about what she was supposed to do. Bondage had always seemed like an alien concept but suddenly she could understand. A chance to just relax and abandon herself to the touch of a lover. A chance to thrill herself with the fantasy.

  "Puts an interesting spin on it, doesn't it?" the Marquis murmured to her, curving his fingers around her shoulders and leaning so close she could feel the warmth of his breath.

  An interesting spin, indeed, Trish thought. Suddenly she felt suffocated. She wanted out, she wanted air.

  She wanted to be alone with him.

  Without a word, she stepped around him and began to mount the stairs. She didn't have to look to see if he was following her.

  She knew he would.

  The night was clear, the sky speckled with stars, at least the handful that you could see in L.A. The rooftop was deserted. Trish walked to a corner and leaned on the concrete barrier to look out at the city lights. She felt the same anxiousness she did when on a roller coaster, just before the cars begin to rush headlong down the first drop.

  The door clicked as he closed it behind him. Trish didn't turn, though she could feel his presence over her shoulder as he neared.

  "Why the sudden rush to get outside?"

  Trish shrugged. "It was stuffy in that room. I wanted some fresh air." She only waited a second before asking, "Why did you follow me?"

  "Maybe there really is something amazingly erotic about giving up control. Don't you want to find out?"

  In the humming silence, she turned to find him smiling at her, a wicked grin on his face. Somewhere deep inside, in some primitive part of her, a slow beat began to pound. "Take off your mask."

  He leaned sideways on the barrier next to her and lightly stroked her bare arm with his fingertips. "I think it's better this way."

  "What are you hiding?" She stared at his mouth, wondering what it would feel like on hers.

  "Perhaps I'm a wanted criminal, laying low for the night."

  "I'd almost believe that." Under his fingertips, her skin began to heat.

  "Of course, that makes you my accomplice. What's your name, just so I know for the trial?"

  "Trish." She shifted her body a bit toward his. "And yours?"

  "Oh, I don't know, I kind of liked my lord."

  "My lord?"

  "Or master. Don't worry, I don't really get pleasure out of causing pain. Although I do have to confess to a certain fascination with my flail tonight," he added, running his fingers slowly through the strands as though absorbing the texture. "There's something about the feel of leather against bare skin that's incredibly hot." He stroked the strands of leather over her fingers. "Don't you think?"

  Trish stared into his eyes, dark and unreadable, and shivered.

  Then he moved his hand and ran the knotted leather straps over the soft, bare skin of her shoulder. "You're very sensitive there," he said softly. "You're shaking." He trailed the strands around the slender column of her neck.

  She could feel herself tremble as she'd done earlier, in cold, in arousal, in excitement. He traced a finger where the leather had been.

  Trish moistened her lips. "Take your mask off," she said quietly.

  "But isn't it sexier for me to leave it on?" He set the flail aside. "Eyes without a face. The anonymous lover in the dark." He stepped closer and slipped his fingers into her hair. "It's so soft," he whispered. "That was the first thing I wondered when I saw you, how your hair would feel. And how it would be to kiss you."

  Panic vaulted through her. She hadn't done this in a long time. She didn't remember how, wasn't sure she'd ever done it right to begin with. Being alone with him had seemed like a lark, but now she thought, no she was sure, it was a bad idea. Better to leave it as an unexplored possibility. Better to keep him from finding out who she really was. Better to end it now.

  And then his lips touched hers, and thought whirled away, leaving only feeling.

  So sweet. So warm. She hadn't remembered that a man's mouth felt like that. He didn't stick his tongue down her throat like the men—boys, really—she'd kissed before. He wasn't hurried and clumsy. Instead, he took his time, learning the shape of her mouth, sliding his hand over her cheek. It was undemanding and it made her relax. It was delicious and it made her savor.

  Then he went deeper, taking her beyond enjoyment and making her want. When he sucked at her lower lip, she matched him; when he teased with the tip of his tongue she followed, suddenly eager to learn his flavors. It was half remembering, half finding her way beyond places she'd been before.

  His hands slid down over her hips, warm against her. Earlier that night, she'd craved the feel of his body against hers. Now it was happening and she couldn't stop smiling. Look at me, she wanted to shout, I'm kissing someone. And what a someone.

  The feel of his lips nibbling along her jaw and down her throat drew a small, incoherent sound from her. Then his mouth was on the tender skin of her upper breasts and all she could do was gasp. Something tugged in the center of her. This was what it felt like, she thought, this was what it was all about, this tempting, teasing touch that lured her, pulled her toward a door to some hot darkness where only sensation mattered. Half anxious, half impatient and wholly engaged, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back.

  Only to feel a hard bolt of arousal shoot through her as he slid a fingertip under the edge of her bodice and brushed against her nipple. Blindly, she clutched at his hair and the wig slid to one side. With an impatient noise, he pulled it and his mask off, tossing them away even as he kissed her throat.

  She wanted his mouth on hers, craved his taste, wanted him to drag her into that trembling haze of desire, that place she'd never felt before. When she heard his soft groan, she laughed against him exultantly.

  And then he raised his head and Trish caught her breath. Shock flowed through her like ice water. She knew, suddenly, why his voice had sounded familiar. She knew why she felt so at ease with him. She knew his face, oh yes, she knew his face. Of course she did—she'd seen it fifty feet high in the movie theatre, and in smaller versions on television, in the newspaper, in magazines.

  Ty Ramsay, action star extraordinaire.

  Ty Ramsay, Sabrina's cousin, the fatally sincere heartbreaker.

  "Jesus," she murmured.

  And turned to bolt.

  * * *

  "Trish, wait." Ty reached the door at the same time as she did, cursing himself.

  She stopped to face him, at bay. "What do you want?"

  To understand what had just happened to him. To know how with a single kiss she'd pulled him in deeper than any woman he'd ever touched. To figure out why she looked absolutely panicked when she'd recognized his face. "Where are you going? Why are you so upset?"

  "I'm not upset. I'm a little surprised, maybe," she said, her voice high and tense. "I get the whole mask thing, now. Sort of like the king dallying with the common folk."

  "Or the alien living among the earthlings."

  Even in the dark he could see her flushed cheeks. "Well, you can go back to your planet, now. It was fun and now i
t's done." She reached out for the door.

  "Not as far as I'm concerned."

  Trish gave a short laugh. "Sorry, this is as much as I do on rooftops in public."

  But he'd caught a taste of something here that he wasn't about to lose. "Look, this felt right. Don't you want to see what happens next?"

  "I think Sabrina's documentary showed you what happens next. There are books, in case you're confused."

  Ty cursed impatiently. "I'm not talking about sex. We can just sit and talk for all I care." That wasn't precisely true. He was pretty sure he wanted more—much more—but for now he'd take another dose of their easy laughter. "Don't just run off. Please?"

  Something flickered in her eyes—hope, maybe— and was quickly snuffed out by distrust. She reached behind her and opened the door. "Look, you're probably a really nice guy, but I'm sure you've got starlets to hang out with. Let's just call it good." Before he could react, she'd whirled and was gone, leaving only a trace of her scent in the air.

  * * *

  3

  « ^ »

  The morning sun was still close to the horizon as Ty Ramsay ran along the canyon trail. He moved with ease, his lean, rangy body springy with power, sweat gradually shading his dark-blond hair to brown. Plenty of people liked living in the Hollywood Hills or amid the hustle and bustle of the Wilshire Corridor, a heartbeat away from a power lunch. Ty had gotten over that. Living in the canyon was what worked for him now. His neighbors were the coyotes who lived down the hillside and the doves who nested in the eucalyptus, not the Hollywood elite. So maybe it took him a little longer to drive into town to meetings and parties. Then again, there weren't all that many parties worth being at anyway.

  Except, maybe, for the one the night before.

  Trish. He couldn't figure out why she'd hit him so hard. Sure, she was gorgeous. Sure, she'd been dressed to attract attention. Then again, he was surrounded often as not by beauties dressed to impress. There'd been something more about this one, something that had pulled at him. She didn't have the forgettable California blond look, but a delicate beauty that caught at his imagination, and an elusive wariness that made him wonder.

  And brought her into his dreams.

  It might have had something to do with their powerhouse kiss. It might have had more to do with laughing in the kitchen, watching the play of expressions over her face. Watching the stunned amazement writ large in the starlight as he'd trailed the leather of his whip over her shoulder.

  His history with women had been checkered, at best. But he'd gotten tired of being a staple joke on the comedy circuit for having affairs with his costars. He'd made a vow nearly a year before to avoid relationships altogether until he figured out once and for all how to keep from making the same mistakes.

  He had a feeling he was going to break his promise.

  Ty followed the trail as it began winding back up the canyon. This early in the day, the October air held a crispness that gave him more energy as he went on, not less. The idea of body-sculpting in a glossy gym with some high-profile personal trainer did nothing for him. Better the peace and solitude of a morning run where the only noise was the thud of his footfalls and the whistle of an occasional bird. Ty glanced up at the walled house at the top of the hill, and sped up, knowing he was almost home.

  Walls. Even in the canyon, you had to take personal security seriously, at least if you vied with Tom Cruise for top box-office draw around the globe. The little pulse of annoyance was so familiar he'd almost stopped feeling it. He'd known before he'd ever started acting what the price of fame could be, as he'd watched his uncle, Michael Pantolini, struggle with it. But when a college buddy had persuaded Ty to act in his senior project, everything had changed. Ty remembered the heady rush of those few short days, that sense of a previously unknown power surging through him.

  He could no more have turned away from it than he could have stopped breathing.

  And so he lived behind a wall and considered it a trade off. Ty slowed to a walk and turned down his asphalt driveway to see a bright-red Prius parked at the gate and a stocky, dark-haired man standing next to it, a camera slung around his neck. Speaking of privacy…

  "Give us a smile for the hometown fans." The man gave a cocky grin, lifting the camera up to his eye.

  "You know, the last paparazzi who tried to shoot me here were picking up their cameras in little pieces at the bottom of the hill," Ty told him, walking closer.

  "No kidding?" The camera clicked and whirred as the photographer shot frame after frame.

  "Once they finished picking themselves up, of course," Ty said pleasantly. "Want me to demonstrate?"

  The intruder lowered his camera and smirked. "You ain't so tough."

  "Try me," Ty suggested and took a step forward.

  For a long moment they gave each other flinty-eyed stares. Then the intruder shook his head and waved the hand without the camera. "Cut."

  Ty narrowed his eyes. "You directors, you're all alike. Never satisfied."

  The "paparazzo" patted one of Ty's cheeks gently. "Ty, sweetie, you were fabulous, but if this goes any further you're gonna need a stunt double."

  "You're just cranky because you're up on a Saturday before ten, Charlie."

  Charlie snorted. "You forget I have kids. Eight o'clock is sleeping in."

  Ty laughed and shook hands with Charlie Tarkington, college buddy and the person responsible for getting him into film. "I thought you hated leaving Santa Monica for the wilderness."

  "I figured it was about time I brought your camera back."

  "I was just going to put a call into the stolen property division. You could have gone through the gate, at least."

  Charlie shrugged. "I forgot the code."

  "It's the date of the premiere of our first movie, dork." Ty pressed his thumb on the security pad scanner and the gate glided noiselessly open to reveal the house beyond.

  The structure was perched at the edge of the hillside. Sleek and white, the building's clean lines were banded with glass. The high wall might have been for the privacy a man in Ty's line of work had to fight for; the broad swathes of windows were for the freedom and openness he craved. When they stepped through the front door, it was to a flood of light, a room that stretched out and flung the viewer directly out into the canyon.

  Charlie, as usual, went straight to the glass and stared out at the view. "You ever get nosebleeds up here?"

  "Hey, when you make the big bucks you can afford lots of cotton balls. Want something to drink?" Ty turned off into the kitchen to rummage in the refrigerator. He knew some actors who had cooks, maids, an entire staff to take care of them. So far, he'd resisted anything beyond a weekly housecleaning service and the occasional visit from a landscaping crew to keep the yard from getting too out of control. Outside, he was fair game for the public. Here, he jealously guarded his privacy. "What do you want, O.J.? Soda?"

  Charlie wandered into the kitchen after Ty, idly surveying the brushed aluminum Sub-Zero appliances and granite counters. "I'm tempted to ask you for a cappuccino just for the entertainment value of seeing Mr. People's Choice Award figuring out how to use the knobs on that machine."

  "For that, you get water," Ty said, grabbing two bottles from the refrigerator and tossing one to his friend.

  Out on the deck, they relaxed in redwood Adirondack chairs and watched the morning mist burn away, until they could glimpse the sea in the bright distance.

  "So, you into preproduction for Dark Touch yet?" Charlie asked idly, leaning back with a sigh.

  "We start rehearsals next week."

  Charlie turned his head to study Ty. "And you're not looking too thrilled about it."

  "It's got problems, especially with the dialog." And unless Ty did something about it, he'd be the chump stuck mouthing the bad lines. "The concept's solid, it'll definitely play, but the script needs tightening."

  "And?" Charlie prompted.

  He shrugged. "And it's just another Ty Ramsay hero. Yo
u know, the strong, quiet outsider who comes in and saves the day against the terrorists or the mobsters or the counterfeiters or whoever. Same guy, different movie."

  "They're not all the same."

  "You're right." Ty gave a humorless smile. "They've each got their signature flaw: one smokes, one has anger management issues, one's a rule-breaker, one—"

  "Dresses in women's underwear?" Charlie offered.

  "Only in your movies. Admit it, Charlie, I've been one-tracked." Ty fell broodingly silent and stared out at the canyon.

  "So ask your agent to get you some other kinds of scripts. Go for the dark, sensitive stuff."

  If only it were that easy. "The studios want dark or sensitive they go to Nic Cage or Johnny Depp. They don't come to me. They come to me when they want a guy who's good at blowing stuff up." He took a long drink of his water and reminded himself he should be happy for his success, not feeling as though his life wasn't meshing the way he'd expected it to.

  "Well, you could have the opposite problem. The studios look at me, they see Mr. Indie. Winning that jury prize at the film festival helped me in terms of getting small money, but it hasn't done dick for me in the big leagues."

  "You want to blow stuff up?" Ty raised an eyebrow.

  "Not exactly." Charlie took a pull on his bottle of water. "Just once, I'd like to do something that's not on a shoestring budget, though. If I could just have a crack at it, I could make it work."

  "Don't I know that feeling. When you're talking about millions, though, they want to know you can do it before they put the money behind it."

  "It bites," Charlie said moodily.

  "Yeah."

  They watched a swallow flit among the trees.

  "You know—"

  "Of course—"

  They both stopped. "You first," Charlie said.

  "What if we teamed up? To start a production company, I mean."

  Charlie's eyes gleamed. "You took the words right out of my mouth. You act, I direct. With your name, we can find the financing. Hunt up a few scripts we like, start them into development…"

  "Everybody's happy." Ty sat forward, suddenly alive with energy. "Equal votes. When we find one we both like, we go with it. Then later, once the company's running, we can pursue separate projects if we want."