The area was spacious and bright. Oak hardwood floors gleamed in the sunlight that streamed through a picture window. Without even trying, I could imagine a table under the brass chandelier.
Instead of entering the living room, Braden nodded to the left. “There are three large bedrooms, but let’s go into the family room first.” He pointed straight ahead.
The house was huge. The family room was wonderfully large, with a cathedral ceiling.
“There’s space for a wide-screen TV,” I joked.
“Sure is, and a sectional couch, too—you know—with recliners on the ends.”
I laughed. Braden had always said he wanted one of those, but the living room in his apartment wasn’t large enough. The walls in this room were attractively painted a soft yellow and the whole house was immaculately clean.
A doorway off the family room led to a home office or den, one wall of which was completely lined with bookshelves. A sunroom was adjacent.
Braden hadn’t followed me and now I returned to stand beside him, looking into the spacious kitchen before us. The sage-green counter and tile floor, oak cupboards and the spotless white appliances beckoned to me.
“There’s enough space there for a table, too,” Braden said as if I couldn’t see it. “A utility room off the back part of the kitchen leads into the garage.”
“This house is immense.”
“I want some space. I’ve lived in an apartment long enough.”
“You said it has three bedrooms?”
“Yep. I like the way they’re gathered on one side of the house.” When he headed toward them, I found myself reluctant to follow.
As Braden stepped into the large master suite with its comfortable, spacious bathroom and walk-in closet, I asked, “Are you seriously thinking about buying this?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Why now?”
“Because when my son or daughter is born, I want him or her to have a place to call home and plenty of room to play. I want a child to know I’ll always be here and that there is one place to depend on.”
My heart beat faster as I anticipated Braden asking me to live here with him so we could raise our child together.
However, he didn’t ask me that question. Instead he said, quietly, “I’d like you to seriously think about giving me custody.”
“I can’t do that. I want to be a mother.” The idea was becoming a reality and I wouldn’t let Braden take my baby from me.
When Braden clasped my arm, he did it gently. “Think about this. Really think about it. I don’t believe you can have the career you want and raise a child.”
“Lots of women do both.”
“Maybe. But how well do they do it? Do you know any working single moms who aren’t run ragged?”
In turmoil, I pulled from his hold. “I know single moms. And yes, raising children alone is tough. But it can be rewarding, too. You have a career. What’s so different about you being a single dad?”
“I own my own business, and I can make sure my hours are flexible. I don’t have to report to anyone else. Isn’t that the bottom line?”
Upset, I left the master suite and found myself walking straight out of the house. In the courtyard, the wind blew my hair and I watched narrow white clouds skitter across the blue sky.
The door opened and closed and Braden’s footsteps sounded on the walk. Then he was standing behind me.
“We’ll work this out.”
“Will we?” I asked sadly. “Or will we end up in court in a custody battle. I don’t want that, Braden.”
When he reached out and dragged a thumb over my cheekbone, he assured me, “It won’t come to that. I know that would be the worst thing for a child and so do you. We’re smarter than that.”
We were smart, but we both wanted what we wanted.
“You’re afraid to lean on me. You’re afraid that somehow I’m going to take over your life. That’s not what I want to do.”
Whenever Braden touched me, I felt as if I could melt into a puddle at his feet. But physical attraction wasn’t going to fix this mess. I wasn’t sure what would. “If I’m on the West Coast and you’re here…”
“I like the amount of space in this house for lots of reasons,” he said, “but especially for one very big reason. Whenever you fly in from L.A., there will be plenty of room for you and our child.”
“That might work at first.”
“Why only at first?” He looked genuinely curious.
“Because when you start dating somebody seriously, she’s not going to put up with that.”
For a moment, I thought he might say, “I don’t want to date anyone else seriously. I want to date you.” I was looking for some sign that we could be more than co-parents and more than fifteen-minute lovers. But Braden was silent and my disappointment made me feel almost nauseous.
Fighting it, I took a deep breath. “I have an appointment with my obstetrician Monday morning,” I offered softly. “I’m going to have blood drawn for the AFP test and the doctor will perform the ultrasound then. I don’t know how much of the baby we might be able to see.”
“Are you asking me to go along?”
“If you want to.”
When he took me by the shoulders, he gazed into my eyes. “You don’t have to go through this pregnancy alone, April. I want you to know that. Of course, I’ll come along. If I can get a glimpse of my son or daughter, nothing will keep me away.”
This baby was everything to Braden and I was just part of the package. Had he ever really loved me? Or had I simply been a road to the family he always wanted? That idea chilled me.
Swallowing my disappointment, I stopped looking for answers in Braden’s green eyes. I had to find my own.
“So what do you really think about the house?” Braden asked, dropping his hands.
“I like it,” I admitted.
“After I take you home, I’ll put in an offer on it.”
I pictured myself flying back and forth, playing house when I was here with him, being lonely for him when I was in L.A.
Joint custody didn’t seem to be any solution at all.
ON MONDAY MORNING, I arrived at my obstetrician’s office before Braden. We’d agreed to meet there since we’d be going our separate ways afterward. When the nurse called me back to an examining room, I told her that Braden would be joining me for the ultrasound. I had no doubt that he would arrive in time to catch the first glimpse of our baby.
After blood was drawn, I followed the nurse to the room where the ultrasound machine was housed. She handed me one of those flimsy, cotton gowns that was supposed to tie down the back. Afterward she left, saying she’d be back shortly. There were two hooks on the back of the door, and I hung my suit and blouse on one, panty hose and underwear on the other. I set my high heels under a chair. I was standing beside the examining table unfolding a sheet when there was a rap at the door.
“April? It’s me,” Braden called. “The nurse sent me back.”
When I opened the door feeling much too scantily dressed, Braden practically filled the entire space. “Do you want me to come in or wait till the doctor comes?”
“Come on in.” I was very aware of the flap at the back of my gown. Reaching behind me, I held the gown together and backed up to the table. I saw the amused glint in Braden’s eyes. My efforts to keep my back covered made my breasts protrude more.
“I promise I won’t look until you’re up on the table.”
Although Braden was obviously trying to hide his amusement, there was a tenderness in his tone that made me relax a bit.
“I gained another two pounds.”
“You’re supposed to gain weight.”
Lifting the sheet from the end of the table, I hiked myself up and let my legs dangle. “I’ll soon have to wear maternity clothes.”
“Have you bought any?”
“No. I thought if I had time I’d do some shopping in L.A. while I was there.”
The amusement f
aded from Braden’s eyes. “Do you have a ride to the airport tomorrow?”
“Yes. My neighbor’s taking me when she goes into the city for work. She said she’ll pick me up when I fly back, too. Then I won’t have to leave my car at the airport.”
“I could have taken you.”
I felt as if Braden and I were precariously perched on a ledge. One false move and we’d topple off. Asking him for help made my balance unsteady, so I preferred not to ask him for support unless it directly concerned the baby.
Dr. Felton rapped on the door, then pushed it open. As usual, she was wearing a kindly smile. In her fifties, with short black-and-gray hair, she never seemed to be rushed or hurried. I didn’t know how that was possible with babies being born every hour of the day, every day of the week. Her serenity was one of the things I liked about her.
After I introduced her to Braden, a nurse joined us. With natural ease, Dr. Felton motioned to a chair on wheels.
“Roll it over here so you can see the monitor clearly,” she directed Braden. “April, why don’t you lie back now. You’ll be able to see the monitor, too. At almost nineteen weeks, I might be able to tell if this is a boy or a girl. Do you want to know?”
“If April does,” Braden said, his voice deep and husky.
“If we know the sex, I can prepare a little better,” I mused out loud.
“Blue or pink instead of yellow and green?” the doctor joked, and I nodded with a smile.
“You had blood drawn for the AFP test?” Braden asked me.
“Yes.” Then I addressed the doctor. “How soon will I know the results?”
“In about a week. I know you’ll be in California, but I have your cell phone number.”
During the next few minutes, the nurse prepared me for the ultrasound and Dr. Felton took the wand in hand. She pressed buttons on the computer keyboard. “Listen,” she directed us and turned up the volume. I heard “thump, thump, thump,” like the ticking of a fast metronome.
“That’s the heartbeat,” she said.
I listened to each wonderful beat as I watched the screen, totally entranced with the images of my baby…our baby. Tears blurred my eyes as the mystifying concept of carrying a baby became a reality.
“You’re going to have a son,” the doctor added with a wide smile.
A son! A baby boy. I pictured him with black hair and green eyes…Braden’s smile.
Apparently affected by the picture of our son on the monitor, Braden covered my hand with his as we gazed at the screen together. We both needed the contact. This was an experience like no other we’d ever have, and I felt so close to this man who was going to be a wonderful father.
After we simply listened to that heartbeat for a while, Dr. Felton pointed out what we were seeing on the monitor, then took the measurements she needed to accompany the results of the blood test.
All the while, Braden and I stared at our baby. When my eyes locked with his, I knew I’d never witnessed such a tender look there before…such gentleness…such warmth. My heart overflowed with love for him and our child.
The physician read off her observations to the nurse and printed out data. Cold reality set in once more. I was glad I would be busy for the next week, so I wouldn’t be sitting by the phone waiting for Dr. Felton’s call. No matter what happened I would be keeping this child who came from my love for Braden, praying there would be no abnormality present to worry us. The truth was, I didn’t know if Braden was the type of man who would walk away if a difficulty arose.
After all, he’d walked away from me.
Fifteen minutes later, I was dressed again. Braden had left the examination room after the ultrasound and I didn’t know if he’d be waiting or not. But he was.
After I checked out at the receptionist’s desk, he said, “Let me buy you breakfast.”
“I really don’t have time,” I began, checking my watch.
“If you’re going to take care of yourself, you have time.”
“I have been taking care of myself. I’ve been eating regularly and all the right things.” I patted my waistline under my suit. “That’s why I’m getting bigger.”
“You’re getting bigger because our child is growing. I’ve never seen anything so awesome as the sight of our baby on that screen.”
“I know what you mean. I can’t wait to buy baby clothes in blue.”
He laughed. “And there’s furniture and room decorations.” There was a long, empty pause before he added, “I guess we’ll both be buying those.”
I wanted the tension between us gone. I wanted to be in agreement with Braden about something, so I said, “I’ll come to breakfast with you on one condition.”
“What’s that?” he asked warily.
“We don’t talk about my promotion or Los Angeles. We can talk about the baby and our dreams for him, colleges we might want him to go to.”
He thought over what I suggested. “All right. And we can talk about Melissa’s admiration for you. She told me she wants to go shopping with you sometime. That’s a high compliment. She doesn’t want her mother anywhere around her when she shops.”
“When I get back from L.A., I’ll call her. Or do you think Carol would mind? I don’t want to step on her toes.”
“Phone me when you get back and I’ll have Melissa call you. Then we won’t have to worry about Carol.”
“We will if I take Melissa shopping.”
“I’ll deal with that when the time comes.”
With his hand protectively on the small of my back, he motioned toward the door. “Ready?”
“Ready.” I was looking forward to this breakfast, and to bonding with Braden in a way we hadn’t before.
TWO AND A HALF WEEKS had never gone by so slowly. My time in L.A. had been taken up with meetings, meetings, and more meetings, lunches, dinners and tours of the area. I even looked at a few condos, but all the while I was waiting for the results of my test and…I was thinking about Braden. Los Angeles seemed like another planet compared to Galloway. I thought that was what I wanted, but Shannon Galloway’s questions kept ringing in my ears. When you achieve success with this dream, what comes next? CEO? And when you become CEO, will you find that job and the salary solace when you’re all alone?
Exactly a week after the tests, Dr. Felton called me in L.A. The AFP test in conjunction with the ultrasound indicated my baby was developing as he should be. My baby. Braden’s baby. I had called him immediately and the sound of relief in his voice had been obvious.
As I opened the door to my town house at 7:00 p.m. on Friday, I realized that the trip home from L.A. had tired me out more than I ever imagined it would. My neighbor had dropped me off, and all I wanted to do was take a nap before I put my notes in order for my meeting with Charlie the following week. But then, I noticed the blinking message light on my answering machine.
I pressed Play.
“It’s me,” Braden said. “I’d like to know that you returned safely. Give me a call.”
His concern wrapped around my heart, bringing tears to my eyes. His caring had always touched me and this instance was no different.
Torn between calling his apartment and leaving a message or phoning his cell, I decided to phone his cell.
When he picked up, I said, “I’m back.”
“Good. How do you feel?”
“Tired,” I admitted. “Otherwise fine.”
“Do you have any food in the house?”
Now that I thought about it, I had to admit I didn’t. “No, not fresh anyway. I can open a can of soup.”
“You deserve a welcome-home dinner. I’ll bring something over from the restaurant.”
“You don’t have to. I mean, I know you’re busy.”
There were a few beats of silence. “I’m in Galloway and everything’s running smoothly here. The specials tonight are stuffed chicken breast and prime rib. Which would you like?”
“Chicken breast,” I answered automatically.
He chuckl
ed. “I should have known.”
As soon as I hung up, I looked down at the sweater I’d worn on the trip. It was part of a maternity outfit I’d bought in L.A. But now I just wanted to be comfortable. So taking a rainbow-colored caftan from my luggage, I changed in my downstairs bathroom, and felt fatigue wash over me again.
After I unlocked the door so Braden could come right in, I went to the sofa and decided to just close my eyes for a few minutes before he arrived. In the throes of a marvelous dream in which Braden and I were alone in the moonlight on a desert island, my heart longed for more than a dream. When Braden lifted his hand and ran his fingers through my hair, I—
Suddenly coming awake, I realized I wasn’t in a dream. Braden was running his fingers through my hair.
“Hey there,” he whispered close to my ear.
I had turned on my side and was facing the back of the sofa. Now I shifted around and gazed into his eyes. He was crouched beside me and I was so glad to see him.
“I must have fallen asleep.”
“Must have.” Standing, he motioned to the bags on the coffee table. “I brought supper.”
I shook my head. “I’m not hungry. I think I’m just too tired to eat.”
For a moment he looked as if he was going to argue. But he didn’t. Instead, he took the bags and went into the kitchen. A moment later I heard the refrigerator door open, then shut.
At the sofa once more, he slipped one arm in back of me, the other under my knees. “Come on. I’m going to put you to bed.”
“You don’t have to—” I began.
Instead of listening, he bent his head to mine and kissed me. “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”
Then I was in his arms and he was carrying me up the stairs to my bedroom.
I’d been so tired, but now all my senses were awakening. Braden’s black sweater brushed my arm as I looked up at him, inhaling his cologne, trying to make sense of what I was feeling. Sleepiness was fast fading and my body was tingling from being held so close to him. Two and a half weeks had caused more changes in my figure. What would he think of them?
At my bedroom, he didn’t hesitate and didn’t even switch on the light. Bright moonbeams cascaded through the window. Braden set me down next to the bed and then quickly drew back the covers, but I didn’t get in. He was staring at me in the moonlight, and I realized the silky caftan hid nothing from him. While I was in his arms, he had felt my body against him. Now he was looking at my breasts as if he wanted to touch them.
From Here To Maternity: A Second ChancePromoted to MomOn Angel's Wings Page 14