From Here To Maternity: A Second ChancePromoted to MomOn Angel's Wings
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IC: Can you tell us about your sons’ experience with Bridge of Hope and your hosting experience?
PG: I remember all of us feeling excitement, joy, panic, so much emotion and exhaustion in that first month! We were astounded at how brave and resilient these little guys were. They gave us courage to work through our own fears about our lack of experience as parents. We had great days of happiness, some of uncertainty, many tears, a few battles of wills. But when BOH asked us halfway through the program what we were thinking about adoption, there was no question—the answer was yes! These were our sons. We wanted to be a family.
IC: What are the age requirements for a couple or single woman hoping to host a child?
PG: BOH is not a host-only program, so we prefer hosts who have a serious interest in adoption. We consider applicants on a case-by-case basis, but generally our host families are married couples or single women between the ages of thirty and sixty. If families are at the older end of this spectrum, they should expect to host older children in our six-to-eleven age group.
IC: What do you see as some of the reasons a family might consider adopting an older child?
PG: Some of our families, like mine, apply at an age when adopting infants or toddlers just isn’t feasible. Others have children at home, and the family wants to add an older or younger sibling. Some older families have grown children who have already left home, but the parents feel they have more love to share. Others have always planned that at some point in their lives, they would adopt a child who needs a family.
IC: What’s it like when the children finally arrive each summer?
PG: My sons asked if they could give the answer to this question, so here it is. At first the children feel scared, nervous and anxious. They’re coming to a new place, and they don’t know if their families will be nice or what they are going to do. The children might be very, very shy. They’re going to a new land with a new language and new food. When they come to your house, welcome them and show them every room, so they get used to it. But the children are excited, too, once they see how big their bedrooms are, compared to their little rooms or dormitories in the orphanages. Most of the kids will respond to you if you play with them. Have the days planned, so the kids are kept busy.
From mom: On the parents’ side, there’s a similar mix of feelings. For most families, the hosting experience is the answer to years of longing. At the same time, there’s anxiety about language and communication, food, what the children will be like, how the adults will do as parents, whether the experience will live up to their expectations, how to make the adoption decision. But for most families, by the end of the month there’s a wonderful sense of comfort, familiarity and belonging together.
IC: Is it difficult for the families when the children return to Russia?
PG: Yes. The children must go back to Russia at the end of the hosting program. This is a sad time for everyone—parents (especially those who plan to adopt their host children), the children and even our staff. We actually give advice to families very early in the process about this, since both parents and children must be prepared for departure. We assure everyone we take very good care of “their” children on the trip back to Russia. And for the children, once they get through the goodbyes, there’s a certain excitement about their return to their country and their familiar lives. We encourage families to finish their adoption paperwork as quickly as possible so they can make their own trip to Russia to finalize adoption and bring the children home. And for most regions, we have methods for families to communicate with the children in the meantime.
IC: Tell us about the opportunity for communities to bring Bridge of Hope to their area.
PG: We are always interested in talking with volunteers willing to start a new BOH region. We have guidelines we can provide anyone thinking about starting a local organizing committee. Local volunteers are the heart of our program, but our staff works closely with them, providing guidance and sharing ideas that have worked in our more experienced regions. Some of the tasks include fund-raising, outreach to potential host families, media work and logistical support when the children are here. To bring children to a new region we need about eight to ten host families.
IC: How can a family find out more about the program?
PG: Families can check out our Web sites, www.cradlehope.org and www.bridgeofhope.cc, call our office (301/587-4400), or send me an e-mail at pgancie@cradlehope.org. I’m very happy to talk with families about BOH and my own family’s experience, as well as put people in touch with other BOH adoptive families.
You’ve done it all
Stared at a wall
Thought of summer days
And other ways
While sterile hands practice science
Try to make life grow inside you
Nothing works
Still alone
Hope is gone
And then one day
On a warm morning in May
You arrive at a place
Where children wait
Where children wait
Born in a moment that is not theirs
No one to take them home
Call them their own
Call them their own
The building is small
With brightly colored walls
Women in modest clothes with modest smiles
Lead you to a room
Where a little girl waits
In a circle full of children
She smiles
Your heart is hers
If you had only known
Life does not have to be made
But already exists
Where children wait
Where children wait
Born in a moment that is not theirs
No one to take them home
Call them their own
Call them their own
Little hands clap and cheer
Voices raised in words only you can hear
What are they saying, you ask
Irina is going home
We’re all going home
As soon as our mama and papa come
So sure, so certain they are
And then you’re in the car
Trusting child tucked between you
Your daughter now
A glance back, children waving from a window
Waiting for their mama and papa to come
Where children wait
Born in a moment that is not theirs
No one to take them home
Call them their own
Call them their own
—Inglath Cooper
ISBN: 978-1-4603-7537-2
FROM HERE TO MATERNITY
Copyright © 2006 by Harlequin Books S.A.
The publisher acknowledges the copyright holder of the individual works as follows:
A SECOND CHANCE
Copyright © 2006 by Tara Tayor Quinn
PROMOTED TO MOM
Copyright © 2006 by Karen Rose Smith
ON ANGEL’S WINGS
Copyright © 2006 by Inglath Cooper
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