Live Again

by Brittney Mulliner

  I froze when I saw Brandon standing in the middle of the barren living room. He was wearing old sweatpants and a T-shirt, studying a brochure.

  “What. Are. You. Doing?” Normally I was a morning person, but too little sleep turned me into a monster. Which Brandon knew.

  His head popped up, and he grinned up at me like it was Christmas morning. “Morning, sis! We’re painting.”

  I looked around the room and now understood why the furniture was missing. He said it as if this was a perfectly normal thing for him to surprise me with. I held up my hand to give myself time to process.

  “Why?”

  “I thought you would like it. You complained about how boring it was in here. So I bought paint, and the lady at the hardware store gave me this for some tips.” He waved the brochure as if it explained everything.

  I closed my eyes and threw my head back as I sighed. “Why now?”

  “Because you need something to take your mind off things, and you’re constantly reminding me how bare this room is. I thought you’d appreciate some color, so I went this morning and picked out some paint. I wanted to invite some people over tonight, and we can unveil our new living room, too.”

  “So you’re starting this now? The morning of? Perfect.”

  He ignored my sarcasm and tossed a package at me. I caught it and examined it. A drop cloth? I read the instructions and started chuckling.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I’m reading how to use a drop cloth, and you’re reading how to paint. Do you think it’s a good idea we do this ourselves?”

  He flashed me a determined look and scoffed. “We’re fine. It can’t be that hard. Just open that up and I’ll tape off all the edges.”

  I ripped open the bag and took out the plastic tarp. As I struggled to get it open, I peeked into the paint can. “What color are we doing?”

  Brandon smiled like he’d masterminded the newest million dollar idea. “Navy. I matched the pillows you bought.”

  I had to laugh at his enthusiasm. He was so proud of himself. “Very nice. Let’s get this done, and maybe I can take a nap before everyone gets here.”

  By the time we were done, Brandon finally admitted he should have hired professionals. It took us over three hours to finish one wall, and we ended up with more paint on ourselves than on the wall.

  “Alright, little sis. We did good. Go get cleaned up and take a nap. We have plenty of time to get everything ready later.”

  “Yes, sir.” I saluted him before escaping to my room. Washing my hands and arms required all of the energy I could muster before collapsing on my bed.

  When I woke up, my room was darker than I expected, and a quick glance at the clock confirmed that I only had a few minutes before people were expected to show. Brandon never should have let me sleep for so long.

  After a record-breaking shower, I twisted my hair into a bun and put on mascara before I heard the doorbell ring. I pulled on a tank top and jeans before running out to meet everyone. Diane and Steve were deep in discussion in the corner with Brandon, so I joined Matt on the coach to avoid overhearing them talking about me.

  “Hey, where’s your sister?”

  He looked over and smiled coyly. “Am I not good enough for you?”

  I loved this kid. “Of course you are! I just normally hear her before I see her. It’s dangerously quiet.”

  “She’s out on the balcony with Mike, your boyfriend.”

  Great, now Matt was teasing me. I gave him a mature eye roll. “Is there anything on, or should we turn on the video games?”

  His face brightened at the words. “I’ll race you!” Mario Kart was our favorite game to play back when he was little and I would visit.

  “You’d better watch it. I went easy on you because you were young. I’m not doing that anymore.”

  I shot him what I hoped was an intimidating stare, but he rolled his eyes back at me. “You underestimate me, Aubrey. My intelligence isolates me from my peers. Mario, Luigi, and Peach are my friends.”

  I paused and waited to see if he would say he was joking. The thought of him sitting alone at school and coming home to play by himself broke my heart. He continued to set up the game as if everything was fine. I guess his girl situation hadn’t worked out.

  After he handed me the second remote, we chose our characters: mine was Princess Peach, and he was Donkey Kong. I let him chose the course and sat back waiting for it to start. I needed more of this. Living with my mom was stressful, so I had used dance as an escape, but here I felt at home. Every spare moment didn’t need to be spent away from my house. I smiled at Matt as the timer counted down. He shot me a menacing smile and took off, leaving me motionless at the starting line.

  It only took a few rounds for me to regret my comments earlier. I had nothing on this kid! Diane announced it was time for dinner just before I was going to admit defeat. We climbed off the floor and took seats around the dining room table, which had never been used as long as I’d lived here.

  Mckayla and Mike walked in from the balcony, laughing. As suspicious as they looked, I decided to let it go. Secrets were becoming the standard in my life. Once they slid into their seats, Mike winked at me, and Steve began serving up plates of roasted chicken.

  “You were wonderful yesterday, Aubrey.” Diane was smiling at me while serving out salad.

  “You were there?” I hadn’t seen them before or after the competition.

  “Of course! Steve had a meeting with a client in the morning, but we got there just in time to see Cassie’s first performance.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything after? I wish I’d known you were there.”

  “It’s no problem. You had a crowd around you and I knew we’d have you to ourselves soon.”

  I was touched that they’d made the effort to come. My mom had always attended, but it was more of an excuse to gather with her friends than to support me.

  “Your solo was amazing. You’re very talented.” Steve was looking at me like a proud parent. So this was what it felt like to have parents who cared.

  “Thank you, McSteamy.”

  He and Diane laughed at the nickname, but Mckayla kicked me under the table. “Don’t encourage him. He already thinks he’s the cool parent.”

  “He is!”

  The table broke into laughter and it warmed my heart. This was all I’d ever wanted. A loving family that cared about each other. People you could tease and hassle, but in the next moment turn to for comfort.

  After dinner, we slowly began standing and walking our plates to the sink. An arm slid around my waist and tugged me away. I leaned into Mike as he bent down to whisper. “Let’s go outside.”

  Silently, I followed him to the balcony and sat next to him on my favorite swinging chair.

  “You seemed happier tonight.”

  “Am I normally depressed?”

  “Nah, you just seemed more like yourself. I can’t see the weight you normally carry around.”

  I gave him a sad smile. “I need more of this.” Looking out of the corner of my eye, I saw him staring down, waiting. “Family time. No stress or things to do. Sitting around and playing video games with Matt and talking with Diane and Steve was just what I needed. It makes everything else seem less devastating, knowing I have them supporting me.”

  “Of course we’re all here for you, Aubrey.”

  “I know that. I’m just not used to it.”

  “Well, you’d better start, because we’re not going anywhere.”

  I snuggled into his side and laid my head on his shoulder. “Promise?”

  He shifted slightly, and I felt him kiss the top of my head. “I promise.”

  Chapter 19

  Despite the drama that took place behind the scenes over the weekend, things felt normal on Monday. In some ways it was lucky that there were no witnesses to my attack, because people at school didn’t treat me like I was a freak again. There were only so many creepy things that could happen to a gi
rl in public before you’re cast out. Although, if there had been a witness, maybe this whole nightmare could have been over by now.

  I tried to push these thoughts out and focus on Mckayla’s story about Sean. I nodded with her, but my attention was focused on the people around us. Was anyone watching me? Did anyone look angry with me? Did the person who thought I’d ruined their life go to school with me?

  The only person I could think of who would hate me that much was Sydney, but she ended up getting what she wanted. She won the Formal crown, and I did my best to stay out of her way. Why would she go through all this effort? She wasn’t at Catalina; someone definitely would have spotted her. She wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything if she wasn’t going to get attention.

  I scanned the crowd again, but no one stood out. Mckayla stopped in front of me and threw her hands up. “You’re not even listening!”

  Quickly, I tried to run though our conversation, but she was right. “Sorry. I’m distracted.”

  With a heavy sigh, she shook her head. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “After what the note said . . . it just makes sense that it’s someone from school.”

  She looked around the quad, eyeing a few people. “You’re right. Wow, that’s super creepy.”

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s a new lead, though, right?”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess. Brandon and Carter are going to look at everything again with the assumption that it’s another student and see if that gives anything away.”

  “This person attacked you, Aubrey. How much longer does this go until you’re really hurt?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe you should stay home or something, especially if we think it’s someone here.”

  “So I should just hide away and let this monster take over my life?”

  “If it keeps you safe, yes.”

  Frustration was building up within me. “No. There’s no way! I already have babysitters, and I’m on lockdown whenever it’s not completely necessary for me to be out. I’m not going to stop coming to school.”

  “Okay, fine. You’re probably safest here anyway.”

  I felt bad that I had snapped at her, but I was so tired of people deciding what was best for me without considering the big picture. If I stopped going to school and dance, then they won. They would have successfully ruined my life by forcing me to give up the things that were most important to me and my future.

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  After school, Mike met me by Mac’s car, holding a bouquet of cabbage roses. How did every guy know my favorite flower? Who was giving away inside information?

  I stood on my tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek before accepting them. “This is so sweet, Mike! What are these for?” Narrowing my eyes, I waited for an explanation.

  “I called Brandon and got guard duty today.” He looked extremely pleased with himself. “You don’t have dance. My practice got cancelled, so I thought we could spend the rest of the day together.”

  What other guy paid enough attention to his girlfriend to know her schedule and feel comfortable talking to her family? I got lucky with this one, and I hoped he knew how I felt.

  “That sounds perfect. What are we doing?”

  He put his arm around my shoulders and led me to his truck. “Just dinner and a movie. I wanted to give you a chance to relax.”

  “That sounds perfect. Thank you.”

  In the car, Mike turned up the radio and headed onto the highway that ran along the coast. This was my favorite drive, especially when I could sit back and stare out at the ocean. Once we were past the majority of the homes, there was an unobstructed view for a few miles until the next city.

  I looked over to Mike and caught him watching me. “You need to keep your eyes on the road, mister.”

  He laughed and turned his attention forward. “You look so peaceful. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time.”

  My smile grew. He was right, though. I hadn’t felt this relaxed and safe in weeks. “Thanks to you.”

  His hand slipped into mine and held tight. I cherished moments like this, when I could shut out everything happening in my life and focus only on the present and enjoy who I was with.

  We drove for a few more miles before Mike pulled off to the side of the road and parked. With one more squeeze, he released my hand and jumped out before running to open my door. “I had plans to go somewhere nicer, but after watching you I thought you might like this more.”

  I looked down the street in both directions, trying to guess what he meant, but nothing jumped out. He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face the ocean.

  “I parked a little far away so we could walk on the beach. Then, when you’re hungry, we’ll eat there.” He lifted one hand and pointed to the pier a little way down the beach. On the very end there was a restaurant perched over the open water, with waves crashing against the pillars.

  “There?” I couldn’t contain the smile on my face. He slid one hand down my arm and slipped his hand back into mine.

  “Yeah, we’re going to the diner on the pier. You’ll love the view from out there.”

  I followed his lead across the road and sidewalk to the endless sand. From this vantage point, you could see miles of sand in both directions and the ocean until it fell over the edge of the horizon.

  For the first time in days, there was no sense of anxiety or being rushed around. All that mattered was Mike and I being together with our feet sinking into the sun-warmed sand and the salty breeze coming in off the water. Perfection in its purest form.

  Every time I turned to look at Mike, my hair flew in my face. After several failed attempts to flip it back, he burst out laughing and I finally gave up. I lifted my free hand to pull my hair back and twisted it over my shoulder. As much as I loved the ocean breeze, my hair didn’t seem to agree. Once my face was clear, he leaned down and gave me a quick, sweet kiss on my cheek.

  “If someone asked me to describe my perfect moment, do you know what I’d say?”

  “Throwing a game-winning touchdown with college recruiters sitting front row?” I knew I was teasing him, and it felt good.

  “Well, that does sound pretty great, but no. This is it. If I could live in one moment forever, I would choose right now, being here with you.”

  I stopped and turned to him. “That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  His smile reached his eyes, which sparkled down at me. “Then I’m an awful boyfriend.” He moved the hair from in front of my face and held it to the side while cradling my cheek in his hand. “Any time I have with you is great, but this is perfect.”

  He leaned down and kissed me lightly once before pulling back. His gaze seared into my soul. In this moment, everything felt right and I wasn’t ready for it to end. I slid my hands up around his neck and pulled him down to me. Kissing him was sweet. Not the same fireworks that came with Carter, but sweet and romantic. Something that, if cultivated, could become a deep, true love.

  Chapter 20

  There were only a few upsides to being grounded. My grades had gone up, I was getting my money’s worth off my Netflix subscription, and I had time to fit in extra barre workouts. The downsides were hard to ignore once I got burnt out of doing pliés while catching up on my shows. I missed hanging out with my friends, not that I did much of it between dance and school. I missed Mike, although I had seen him just a few hours ago. I missed having the option of doing something.

  What if I needed something from the store, right now? I would have to either call a chaperone or wait for Brandon to get off work and pick it up for me. What if there was an emergency of some sort and I had to leave? There would be an angry mob of family and friends waiting for me when I got home. I missed the freedom I knew I’d had. There weren’t many times I exercised that freedom, but now that it was gone, I felt it.

  I was on my back, staring at the ceiling, when there was a knock at the door.
My legs had a mind of their own, propelling me through my doorway and through the kitchen. Evidently they were just as bored as my brain.

  Swinging the door open, I was met with a smiling face. “Hi, Gage!”

  He looked taken aback by my enthusiasm. “Uh, hi?”

  I gestured for him to come in and shut the door behind him. “What’s up? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  “It’s hard to get past the defensive line around you lately.” He smiled shyly as he surveyed the kitchen. It was then that I realized he’d never been over before.

  “How did you make it past security?” I slid onto a stool and watched him.

  “I pulled a few strings.”

  My eyebrow shot up, asking the question for me.

  “I know a guy.” He didn’t even crack a grin. Was he joking?

  “A guy? Are you in with the mob?”

  He chuckled at my serious tone and looked at me like I could genuinely be crazy. This was what isolation did to me. “No, I just had them call Brandon and he gave his approval. Pretty trusting for a guy that’s never met me.”

  “I’ve told him about you.”

  That got him to stop looking around. He leaned toward me with his elbows on the counter. “What did you tell him?”

  “That you’re my friend and you understand what it’s like to have things happen to you that are out of your control.”

  “You told him I’m a killer?”

  “You’re not a killer. You were in an accident that changed your life. It was out of your control. You understood how I felt when I got here.”

  “Like an outsider?”

  “Exactly.”

  He seemed to think about that for a second before standing up. “Well, I’m here to help you escape your prison. What do you want to do?”

  I pretended to deliberate before smiling. “Let’s go running.”

  “You read my mind.” He kicked up his leg, showing off his running shoes. “Let’s go. Loser buys smoothies.”