Flower In The Palace

by Jordan Silver

  “Is that really possible? No matter what you know there’s always a knife at your back. You’re the lucky one. You can live free outside the palace.”

  “I know it. That’s why I never understood all those ministers who were always afraid that I wanted to usurp your throne.”

  “It does have its perks.”

  “What, all the women you could want? Funny, you don’t seem too interested in that one. And besides, I like my women to come without the side of politics.”

  “You and that smart mouth.”

  “Speaking of which, I need to get going, there’s this new bird that’s been giving me the eye. I’ve been too busy of late taking care of your mess, but now that things have quieted down a bit, I think I’ll give her a try.”

  “Bye Javan.” I grinned as he left. I know he’s not half the reprobate he likes to pretend, but I still like knowing that he at least enjoys his life outside the palace

  After years of mistreatment I’ve decided to find ways to make his life enjoyable. He’s not allowed as a Prince and my brother to take part in state matters, but there are other ways I can show my appreciation.

  Though he rebuffs all my offers, that doesn’t stop me from ladling him with gifts. If I could I would give my beloved brother half of my kingdom. But since that was not possible, I will always look after him the best that I can.

  The court lady came in with my nightly tonic and I hadn’t even realized so much time had passed. I’d spent another day mired in petitions and complaints from the people.

  Much had changed since my trip, but there were still some pockets of the land that needed attention. I had my men looking into everything and getting back to me. So each day was spent poring over papers into the late night.

  I watched the court lady dip the silver spoon into the tonic to test for poison before passing it to me. I drank slowly instead of in one fell swoop like I usually do. I hate the taste of medicine and would forego it if it wouldn’t cause a stir.

  The effects were immediate. My breath got trapped in my lungs and my heart accelerated. My vision blurred and I reached out just as the court lady screamed and feet came rushing.

  BRYONY

  “What’s all that noise?” Des and I were at our posts outside the emperor’s chambers. I’d thought my godmother was mad when she came up with this idea, but now I see the need.

  The young Emperor’s life seemed constantly in peril. I’d saved him no less than three times in the almost three months we’ve been here.

  I’d like to say it was getting easier being this close to him, but it wasn’t. Not after the night we’d shared. The night that thankfully he didn’t seem to remember.

  Eunuch Van came rushing over and I hung my head as was my habit to keep my identity hidden. I really needed do that only with the Emperor but it had become habit.

  “The Emperor has been poisoned.” He seemed flustered as all the blood drained from my head. I looked at Des because my brain didn’t seem to work.

  “Who’s looking after him?”

  ‘The imperial doctor, but he doesn’t know what was used. The tester didn’t detect any poison...”

  “If I know someone who can take care of him, will you let them?”

  “Your grandmother is too far away…”

  “No, I’m thinking of someone else, right here in the city.”

  “Hurry.”

  Des grabbed my arm and dragged me away as I seemed to be in a stupor. He pulled me along to our quarters inside the palace and closed the door.

  “Quick, put this on.” I took a step back.

  “What? Are you crazy?” He held out the dress I’d packed among my belongings in a moment of weakness. It was nothing much but it was the only reminder that I was a woman.

  “We don’t have time, do you want him to die?” His words released me from the frozen state I’d gone in ever since I heard the words and I sprung into action.

  Within minutes we were headed back to the palace. There was a lot of weeping coming from behind the doors, and lots of people standing around wringing their hands.

  I rushed forward moving the useless imperial doctor out of the way. Eunuch Van ensured that no one got in my way. They were still testing the medicine bowl to decipher what poison was used, which was of no help while he laid dying.

  I lowered my head to his chest and listened to the fast pace of his heart, then put my nose to his lips and inhaled. “Get me charcoal.” When no one moved I yelled out my order again and lifted the emperor’s head.

  I wanted to panic like the rest of them, but I dared not. It was more than half an hour since the poison had been ingested and though I still had about that much time left before the damage was done I didn’t dare waste a second of it.

  Someone placed the charcoal mixture in my hand and I looked just to be sure. It was my brother. “Hold him up.” Eunuch Van rushed forward to hold him while I forced the liquid down his throat.

  It took two cups of the mixture before his heart rate finally slowed and he was no longer in danger. The Empress dowager, his mother, entered the room already afraid that her son was dead.

  I heard eunuch Van explain to her that I had saved him in time. Her profuse praise made me nervous and I wanted to get away as much as I wanted to stay.

  “Who are you child?”

  “Bry…Bryony Your Majesty.” I’d almost given myself away.

  “Raise your head so that I may see your face.” I did as she asked and she gasped and clutched at her throat.

  “You, how can it be?”

  “Majesty?” Eunuch Van held her arm as she seemed about to land on the floor. She shook her head as if to clear it and stared at me again.

  “Nothing, it’s nothing. I was just reminded of something from the past is all.” I looked back at her son who was now resting peacefully. The Empress dowager cleared the room, declaring that I was the only one allowed to care for her son at this time.

  The whole palace went into lockdown with guards standing around the perimeter and no one was allowed inside the inner room but myself. Even eunuch Van stood outside the door, his panic finally appeased.

  I made sure my patient was settled and comfortable before taking up my post beside his bed. I must’ve fallen asleep because when next I opened my eyes, his were open and staring.

  “You…I know you. How are you here?”

  “Your Majesty, there must be some mistake.” I had to think fast. If my ruse was discovered, not only me, but Des and Giselle’s lives would be in danger.

  “No, you were there, in the forest.”

  “I think you’re suffering the after affects of the poisoning Your Majesty, you’re not thinking clearly.”

  I forced myself not to look away and in the end it didn’t matter because his eyes closed again and he was asleep. I released the breath I’d been holding and thought of a way to escape.

  But I was here under order of the Empress dowager. There was no escaping the room until he was completely out of danger.

  He was in and out of sleep all night. I heard raised voices more than once as people were turned away from the door. There was a bit of a fuss made because there was a woman alone in the room with the Emperor.

  But through it all the Empress dowager stood firm. No one was allowed in the room but me. I didn’t stop to question her absolute trust in me, it didn’t really matter. Had I been one of the ones standing guard outside I would’ve been worried sick.

  Here I could see to him myself and be sure that he was really okay. Just as the sun kissed the sky I opened my eyes once again to find him staring at me.

  “What’s your name?” His voice was raw and raspy. “I’m Bryony Your Majesty.” I stood to my feet and bowed. He watched me intently as if trying to see right through me and I remembered that night, how he’d called me by another’s name.

  Was he seeing her now? Is that why he stared at me so intently? Did I really look so much like his Mia? I’d thought it was the fever, but his mother’s
reaction was a bit questionable as well.

  “Bryony, where are you from?”

  “I told him the name of the province I’d been coached by my godmother to use. It wasn’t the same as Bryan’s and now that I think about it, how did she know that I would need to use two disguises here in the city?

  Now was not the time to think about it as he was still watching me intently. I answered all his questions without hesitation hoping that he did not detect the lie in my words.

  His eyes closed again, and it was obvious that he was tired from the night’s ordeal. I didn’t relax again until I was allowed to leave the room much later. But just as I reached the door, his voice stopped me.

  “Come back after you’ve had some rest.”

  “Majesty.” I curtsied and left the room. Now that I was out of there the tiredness I’d been able to stave off throughout the night finally caught up with me and all I wanted was my bed.

  For the next few days while he recovered I was the only one allowed to administer to him. Each night as I sat beside his bed, he’d question me as if trying to catch me in a lie.

  Luckily I was very good at keeping my story straight and though he still seemed to have trouble accepting my story, he left off questioning me after a while.

  I still felt his eyes on me from time to time though and the blush on my face gave me away each time. Does he remember our night together? Or does he still believe it to be a dream?

  A part of me wanted him to remember, but what then? He’s the Emperor, and I’m an orphan who has no memory of her first years of life. It will be best for all concerned when I can go back to being Bryan.

  Luckily no one seemed to miss my other persona since he always kept to the shadows. That had worked out well this time. But I’m afraid if I stay here much longer things may start to unravel.

  There’d been a lot of movement in the palace in the days since the attempt on his life and I had no doubt every corner of the place will be turned upside down.

  That night a storm brewed outside and I cried out at a flash of lightning and thunder. I wasn’t in time to catch my cry of fear behind my hand and the sound awakened him.

  He stared at me as if remembering and I knew that it was dangerous for me to remain here any longer. “You’re afraid of the storm.” I didn’t answer, just nodded my head.

  He held out his hand and took mine and that is how we passed the night, with my hand held fast in his. Just that little show of affection was enough to melt my heart and I knew that I was in danger of losing myself.

  That last night I sat by his side, he was restless. Again he called out for his Mia and the longing in his voice was heart wrenching.

  What would it be like to be loved like that by such a man? What kind of woman was this Mia that he clung to her like this? And where was she? If he loved her so much, then why wasn’t she by his side?

  Maybe she was forbidden. From a lower class, like me. Or maybe she was no longer of this world. I didn’t dare ask of course as that would be giving away too much. But I so badly wanted to.

  In the morning Bryony disappeared. The Emperor was no longer in danger and I was no longer needed. I left it to Des to explain my absence to those who were interested.

  Emperor Jai

  “What do you mean gone? Gone where? Who gave the order for her to leave the palace?” In my head I wished I could take back the words. They were way out of proportion and would open the door to too many questions.

  And the guilt, I felt such guilt that I even cared. But the confusion was real. My time at the cottage, the dreams of my fevered mind. Was it her, or had my mind conjured up my love?

  And how is it that I could imagine her fear of the storm so vividly? Had the dream been a premonition of some sort? A forewarning of things to come?

  “Your Majesty, she was needed elsewhere and since you no longer had need of her…”

  I brushed off eunuch Van’s words and dropped the subject.

  “She saved my life that’s all. I wanted to reward her.” My servants finished my morning dress now that there was no longer any fear of losing their heads for upsetting me.

  “Right, where are my guards?”

  “Here your majesty.” Des came out of the corner where he’d all but blended into the wall and I wondered not for the first time how he did that. “Where is your brother?”

  “Around your Majesty, why, do you wish to see him?”

  “No, I wish to go walking in the garden.” My mind was too crowded. I needed to get away from everyone and everything to think.

  I didn’t have to think about who had tried to kill me, that I already knew. What I had to think of now was how to bring her down.

  It wasn’t as easy as just snapping her neck from her body. That would be too easy. I needed her sins to be exposed before the whole world. It was the only thing that will do.

  As I walked with Des close by my side, my mind instead of focusing on the Empress dowager and her murderous intent, went instead to Mia, my Princess.

  Des and I in the last few months had shared many stories, but I had never mentioned her to him, though he knew that I had once had a Crown Princess who had died. Everyone knew!

  And even if he had never heard of her in his remote forest home, I’m sure the story had reached his ears since coming here.

  “Did I ever tell you the story of how I met my Mia, my beauty?” I knew it was because of my dreams of late and imagining that I’d seen her that had her playing heavily on my mind.

  It wasn’t my way to share my memories of her with anyone. I held them close to my heart, buried deep with the longing I still held. “No Your Majesty, you never have.”

  “I will never forget the first day we met. It’s as vivid in my memory now as that day all those many years ago. I can still see the sunlight glistening in her hair and dancing in the blue of her eyes.”

  Could almost feel that jolt to the system, from the meeting of our eyes that day. It’s a feeling I’ve relived often in my dreams, one that I could never forget.

  “She was fifteen and I seventeen. My grandfather was still on the throne then, with my own father next in line and me to follow many years later I’d thought.”

  “It had been a festive day. Her father had been recalled to the palace after years of being away. It was the time of the spring festival.”

  “I’d been in the middle of one of my grand escapes when she came upon me.” I smiled now with the memory as her beautiful image flashed before my eyes.

  “I wondered how anything that beautiful could be real. Her eyes held me captive for the longest of moments and held my tongue behind my teeth as I stared at her almost in wonder.”

  “She stared back at me with no fear and none of the reverence most reserved for members of the royal family. Not to mention the favorite grandson of the Emperor.”

  I had to stop. The memories, saying them out loud for the first time after all these years, was just too much. “Eunuch Van, go bring Prince here.” Her old dog, I’d kept him all these years. I’d been away from him the three years I was gone, leaving him in the care of my mother, the only one I would trust with him.

  The dog, who was usually well behaved started up a wild yipping as soon as he was placed at my feet. And instead of staying by my side, or obeying my orders to stay, ran off into the trees.

  “What…?”

  I understood when I saw the younger brother come out of hiding. The dog had no doubt sensed him there when even I couldn’t.

  He played with the dog before sending him back to me, but for some reason, the usually obedient dog refused to listen and instead tried climbing the poor boy’s leg.

  “Eunuch Van, go fetch that disobedient mutt.” I laughed as he brought the dog back and I had to hold him in my arms to keep him still.

  Bryan disappeared from view again and I continued my walk this time in silence. Only the pitiful whining of the dog could be heard as I walked and thought of what to do next.

  “Let’s r
eturn to the palace.” I spent the day organizing things in my head. Prince Loren had been making himself scarce as of late, as if that would save him. But he had no idea that he had already been caught in my web.

  Since the poisoning attempt the tribunal has been busy questioning everyone involved but since the poison had been placed on the outside of the medicine bowl it was anyone’s guess how it got there.

  I knew who’d given the order and for now that was enough. But all servants whose loyalty was divided must be dealt with. My plan is to deal with it all at once.

  A complete purge, starting with the Empress dowager’s most trusted staff. I didn’t want to move too fast though, less I tip my hand and knock the whole thing off balance.

  Prince Javan and Duke Dunal Morgana were still working in sync, and everything must be handled with care so as to line up well together. Those ministers who had escaped the first purge won’t be so lucky next time. But I wanted not just the head of the snake, but the tail as well.

  This network has been in play for longer than I’ve been alive. My grandfather and then my father after him had caught the scent but never attained enough power to dismantle it. It ends with me.

  I may never have a son to pass my kingdom to, but whoever follows in my footsteps I will not leave them this mess to clean up.

  I do not blame my father and grandfather for their lack in this. Until I sat in their place I had no idea of the hardships that they’d faced. Had no real understanding of the true inner workings of politics. Something I now know cannot be truly learned by a tutors teachings.

  And maybe had they not harmed the one thing I loved even more than the throne, I too might’ve turned a blind eye. But I won’t allow them to live under the same sky much longer.

  The guilt I felt over her death plagues me day in and day out. And knowing that I was inadvertently the cause of her murder only makes it worse.

  Had I not wanted her, her life would not have been forfeit. Had I not given her my heart they would never have laid hands on her. So though they were the ones to carry out the deed, I was the one who’d brought her into their line of sight. I’m the one who wasn’t man enough to protect what was his.