Stolen Lives

by Joy Redmond

  “Why don’t you have a job, Jane?” Ali asked tentatively. “We’d have more money.”

  Jane seemed to be in deep thought for a moment. Then she said, “And what kind of job do you think I could get? I’ve got a high school education and no experience. The best I could hope for would be a waitress, trying to live on tips, and I don’t think that would pay the bills. Besides, I don’t take orders from anybody. Nobody is gonna to tell me what I can and can’t do or when to do it. I had enough of that when I was growing up.”

  Ali countered, “If you had a job, you couldn’t take a drink when you wanted one, either.”

  Jane said softly, “Well, I guess you’re right about that. I do like to take a nip whenever I want. You just don’t understand how bad my nerves get when I need a drink.”

  “No, it doesn’t make sense to me,” Ali said. Then her eyes brightened as she added, “I prayed for the first time last night—and I asked God to make you stop drinking.”

  Jane’s eyes filled with tears. “Well, good luck. God sure never answered any of my prayers, but maybe he likes you better than me.”

  “Grandpa and Grandma are always talking about God being wrathful and vengeful—like a mean and bad man. Maybe he doesn’t answer anybody’s prayers,” Ali said thoughtfully. “Maybe he just waits for us to do something wrong, then he smites us.”

  Jane laughed as she said, “Oh, Ali. I know you were serious, but the way you said that strikes me as funny. Anyway, you already know I think your grandparents are full of crap, so let’s not talk about them.”

  “Okay,” Ali conceded. She had learned not to mention Jane when she was around her grandparents, and now it seemed that she shouldn’t mention her grandparents around Jane. At times it made her a nervous wreck having to watch her words and try to say the right things to the right person.

  After they ate, Ali helped Jane clean the kitchen. Then they went outside and sat on the front steps. Jane patted Ali’s leg and said, “Next week’s the Fourth of July. Bubba said he’d bring you some sparklers. They’re so pretty. I couldn’t have things like that when I was a kid. I missed out on so much—”

  With that, Jane’s voice trailed off, as if she were trying to stop herself from crying.

  Ali looked at Jane and said, “Tell me some of the things you did when you were a teenager. You said you and Polly used to have a lot of fun.”

  Jane smiled through her tears. “Yes, we did. Polly was the only friend Ma and Pa would let me spend the night with. That’s because her parents went to the same church and they figured Polly wouldn’t do anything her parents didn’t approve of.” Jane paused a moment, then added, “If they had only known.”

  “What did you do?” Ali urged.

  “It’s more like what we didn’t do,” Jane said, smiling again. “One of the funniest things was a slumber party in the hayloft. Polly invited me and two other girls who were full of mischief, too.”

  “A slumber party in a hayloft?” Ali asked. “Tell me more!”

  “Me and Polly started smoking cigarettes when we were fourteen, and sometimes Polly would steal a bottle of her uncle’s whiskey. We’d go out behind the barn at night when everyone was asleep. Then we’d smoke, drink, and make plans to run away from home. The night of the slumber party, all the girls agreed it would be fun to sleep in the hayloft, where nobody would see or hear us.

  “We took pillows, blankets, food, and a flashlight, and climbed the ladder to the hayloft. The first thing we did was light a cigarette. As soon as we fired up, I said, ‘Oh, crap. How are we gonna put it out? We don’t want to set the barn on fire.’

  “Polly was wearing a pair of loafers, so she pulled off her shoe and said, ‘I’ll pee in it so we can use it for an ashtray.’ She did, then she set the shoe in the middle of the circle and then we started smoking and passing the pint around while we talked about the boys we’d kissed and who we were going to marry.

  “Suddenly, Millie let out a scream and pointed toward a dark corner of the barn. We looked where she was pointing and saw a pair of bright yellow eyes glowing in the dark. “Polly whispered, ‘Don’t anybody move. It might be a bobcat.’

  “We hardly breathed until the eyes turned and headed off. I grabbed the flashlight and turned it in the direction of the eyes, just in time to see that it was just an old barn cat. We all laughed and went back to talking again.

  “The next morning we were awakened by the sound of cows. We gathered our stuff, Polly tossed her shoe into the snack sack, and then we climbed down the ladder and headed for the house. On the way, Polly dumped the sack and her other shoe into the fifty-gallon drum they used for burning trash.

  “As she picked up a tobacco stick and stirred it around until it all went to the bottom, she said, ‘I wonder how I’m going to explain my missing shoes.’”

  Ali giggled as she said, “That was some slumber party. I’d like to have one in a hayloft, but I wouldn’t want any cigarettes or whiskey—and I sure wouldn’t want to pee in my shoe!”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed the story, and I hope you never smoke a cigarette or take a drink of liquor,” said Jane. “They’re habits that grab a hold of you, and before you know it, you can’t stop. I think I did both of those things as a way to rebel. I’m sorry now, though.”

  “Tell me another story, Jane,” urged Ali. “What else did you and Polly do?”

  Jane thought for a moment, then said, “One Sunday, I went home with Polly after church and after we had lunch we decided to go for a walk. It was mid-July and real hot, so we decided to go to the pond and take a dip. We climbed over the fence, and just as we started walking toward the pond, we heard somebody laughing. We hid behind a tree and peeked out—and saw four boys splashing in the pond. Then we saw their clothes were laying on the bank. I said, ‘Let’s run over, grab their clothes, and throw them up in the tree. Then we’ll see them naked when they get out.’

  “Polly laughed and said, ‘Okay. It’ll be funny seeing their little weenies.’ We took off running, grabbed their clothes, and tossed them up into the branches.

  “The boys saw us and yelled for us to bring their clothes back, saying they’d beat us up if we didn’t.”

  “Then what happened?” Ali asked anxiously.

  “Well, me and Polly just yelled back, ‘Come on out and get ‘em yourself!’ One boy started crying and said, ‘I ain’t coming out,’ but his crying only made us laugh harder.

  “One boy swam to shore and just as he was coming out of the water, we took off running, but we did look over our shoulders to see the boys racing toward the tree, their shriveled little weenies swaying in the breeze.”

  As Ali laughed, she said, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Did they ever catch you?”

  Jane shook her head. “No. They were too busy climbing the tree to get at their clothes. By the time they were dressed, we were safe at home. We were kind of scared they might come to the house and tell on us, but they didn’t. If they had, our parents would have tanned our hides with a hickory stick.”

  “A hickory stick?” Ali asked in shock.

  “Oh, yeah, Pa took a hickory stick or a tobacco stick to me all the time. He always said he was going to beat the devil out of me, but it didn’t work, now did it?”

  Ali hugged Jane and said, “No wonder you—”

  She didn’t finish the sentence. Instead, she asked, “Why didn’t Grandma stop him from beating you?”

  “Oh, honey,” Jane replied, looked at Ali and shaking her head again. “Haven’t you noticed that your grandma never says anything back to him? She obeys him like a puppy dog. The husband is the head of the household, his word is law, and nobody goes against him. It’s in the Bible—but it’s still crap!”

  “Yeah, it’s crap,” Ali repeated, then scooted closer to Jane and added, “You said that when I was older you’d tell me about the first time Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt July saw me. Am I old enough to hear it now?”

  Jane sighed and said, “I reckon so
, but first I wanna tell you about when me and Polly took off for Arkansas.”

  Ali’s eyes brightened as she said, “Yeah, I’d like to hear about that.”

  “Me and Polly had been making plans to run away from home since we were fourteen. When we graduated from high school, we figured it was time. Polly had an aunt who lived in Arkansas that she’d spent a lot of summers with. Her name was Alice, and she was a church-going woman, but she was also down-to-earth and didn’t think human nature was sinful.

  “Polly had written Aunt Alice a letter a month before graduation to ask if we could go live with her. Aunt Alice was a widow, she was lonesome, and she loved Polly like a daughter, so she said it would be okay. She even sent us the money for two bus tickets.

  “I packed a small suitcase, waited till everyone was asleep, then climbed out of my bedroom window and walked two miles to the place where Polly was waiting for me in her daddy’s car. We drove to the bus station, left the car in the parking lot, bought our tickets, and took off for Arkansas.”

  “What happened next?” Ali asked.

  “Well, we’d only gone a few miles when I started puking, and I didn’t stop the whole trip. Once we got to Arkansas and settled in with Aunt Alice, I felt better, so I thought it was just motion sickness.

  “Then one morning, Aunt Alice looked at me, took my face in her hands, and said, ‘Jane, do you know you’re pregnant?’

  “I said, ‘I had a suspicion, but I wasn’t sure. How do you know?’ Aunt Alice just laughed and said, ‘Honey, I can spot a pregnant woman a mile away. They have a special glow.’

  “I was terrified that Aunt Alice would throw me out of the house, and I cried, ‘What am I gonna do?’

  “Aunt Alice just said, ‘Well, you’re just gonna have to stay right here until the baby’s born. Then we’ll figure out what to do next. There’s a free clinic here where you can get some prenatal vitamins, and one of the doctors will deliver your baby when it’s due.’

  “I said, ‘I can’t pay a doctor to deliver the baby, but I’ll go get the free vitamins. I want a healthy baby. Aunt Alice said, ‘Honey, it’s all free. I won’t say they’re the best doctors around, but they’re the only choice for women who don’t have money or insurance. Don’t worry, the Good Lord is with you, so you and your baby will be fine.’

  “A month later, Polly met a handsome man and fell in love, and they eloped a month after that. I was hurt when Polly went away and left me. She came by for a quick visit now and then, but she was a different person and I hardly recognized her anymore.

  “I stayed with Aunt Alice until it was time for you to be born. She didn’t drive, so when I went into labor, I called Polly and asked if she would take me to the clinic. She came, drove me to the clinic, and just dropped me off at the front door. For the next eight hours, I was in a dark room all by myself, squeezing the bed rails whenever a contraction hit.

  “A nurse checked on me every hour, and when it was finally time, they wheeled me into another room and I delivered a seven-pound, two-ounce baby girl—you. Six hours later, they said I had to leave.

  “I called Polly and she agreed to pick us up. She took us to Aunt Alice’s, but she didn’t even shut off the engine when I got out of the car. She just drove away. I couldn’t believe it. She’d always been my best friend, yet she was treating me like a total stranger. She didn’t even look at you or ask to hold you.

  “When you were almost a month old, Aunt Alice had a heart attack and died. Her daughter, Amie, who was her only child, told me after the funeral that I had two days to get out of her mother’s house.

  “I called Polly to tell her I was homeless and to ask if I could stay with her till I could find a job, but she said no. She said she had a life of her own now and her husband wouldn’t want a crying baby around.”

  Jane paused for a moment, and Ali figured she was reliving the painful memory. Then she continued. “I thought I was having a nightmare. My whole world had come to an end.

  “When you started crying, I picked you up to breastfeed you, then started considering adoption. Many of the girls who had their babies at the clinic left their babies behind so they could be put up for adoption. After you were asleep, I started looking through Aunt Alice’s house. In a dresser drawer, I found an old Bible. I shook it, and like a miracle, two hundred dollars fell out.”

  Ali looked at Jane’s tear-stained face and asked, “Why wouldn’t Polly be your friend anymore?”

  “She was jealous,” Jane replied, “plain and simple. She didn’t want me around as soon as she started dating Jimi. Jealousy took my best friend, Ma and Pa took away the love of my life, and you were all I had in this world.”

  Before Ali could speak, Jane continued, “By the time the sun came up the next day, I knew I couldn’t put my baby up for adoption, so my only choice was to come back to Morrisville and hope my parents would forgive me and give us a home until I could find something else. I packed a diaper bag, grabbed my purse, walked to the bus station, bought a ticket, and headed back to Tennessee.”

  Ali hugged Jane again and said, “I’m glad you didn’t give me away, and I’m glad you came back here. It is kind of nice having grandparents and an aunt.”

  Jane sighed, “Well, I’m glad you’re glad. Things are fine with them now, but we’ll see how you feel when you reach your teenage years.”

  “What happened when we got back here?” Ali asked. “What made you so mad with Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt July?”

  Jane sighed again then began, “I hadn’t had much of anything to eat for two days because there was barely a crumb left in Aunt Alice’s house. My milk dried up and we were both half-starved by the time we made it here. It was all I could do to carry you all the way to July’s house. I almost fainted on her porch by the time she opened the door.”

  There was a pause before Jane went on. “Ma and Pa happened to be there and when July opened the door and saw us, I thought she was going to faint, too. She helped me into the house while Ma took you out of my arms.”

  Tears rolled down Jane’s cheeks as she continued, “Pa helped me to the couch and put a pillow under my head. July brought me a glass of water while Ma stood like a statute, holding you like she’d just found the greatest treasure of her life.”

  “So they were glad you came home and brought me?” Ali asked.

  “Yes, they were, honey. They saw the condition we were in and they fed me while Pa hurried to the drugstore to buy some formula for you. I guess even a man was smart enough to figure out that I wouldn’t have any milk in my condition.”

  “That was nice of them. They still loved you—and they loved me,” Ali said softly.

  Jane chuckled softly, then said, “To make a long story short, Ma and Pa said we could live with them. I was relieved and grateful—until Pa started laying down the law. He said I could live with them as long as I went by their rules, but the first time I stepped out of line, they’d throw me out and keep you. Ma agreed with him, just as she always did, so I told them to kiss my ass and got ready to leave.”

  “Where did we go?” Ali asked.

  “Hold your horses,” Jane said. “Before I could gather up you and the diaper bag, July said, ‘Jane, I’ll give you a nice sum of money if you’ll leave the baby with me. Then you can go your merry way.’

  “I told her too to kiss my ass, and that it would be a cold day in hell before they ever saw us again. I walked across town and rented a room at a shabby motel for the night. I can’t remember the real name of the place, but people always called it the No Tell Motel, because it was where couples slipped off for a few hours when they didn’t want to be found out. Not anybody could keep a secret in this little town where everybody knows everybody else’s business.”

  ‘Well, what happened next?” Ali asked, trying to get Jane back on track.

  “The next day I started looking for a house to rent—and this old shack was all I could afford. I rented it with the furniture in it—and you pretty much know the rest of
the story.”

  Taking a chance, Ali asked, “Jane, won’t you please tell me who my daddy is?”

  Surprisingly, Jane didn’t get angry. She just smiled, patted Ali’s leg, and said, “Let’s go plant those tulip bulbs. Bubba will be here soon with some hamburgers and fries.”

  Although she was disappointed, Ali jumped at the chance to do something with Jane. It was the first time Jane had offered to do any kind of project with her. Ali was delighted, and for the time being she pushed the nagging question out of her mind.

  When Bubba didn’t show up that night, Jane started crying—and drinking—until she did something unexpected. She pulled Ali onto her lap and said, “Tomorrow I’m gonna tell you about how I met your daddy—and I’ll even tell you his name. I think it’s time you knew your last name, even if it’s not on your birth certificate. I used the name Monroe, because that’s my last name.”

  Ali looked into Jane’s eyes and asked, “Why can’t you tell me tonight?”

  “Because I want you to be able to put a face to the name, which means I’ve got to find a picture somewhere.” Ali nodded and started to get down, but Jane held her tightly. “I was supposed to meet your daddy at the train station one night, but by the time I broke out of the closet that Ma and Pa had locked me in and got to the depot—he’d already taken off. He didn’t even love me enough to wait. He just left me behind!”

  Jane paused a moment, then continued, “I know I haven’t been a proper mother to you, but I want you to know that I love you very much.” She kissed Ali’s cheek. “I’ll go to my grave loving your daddy, too.” Then she looked at Ali intently and said, “I told you a few years ago that you could call me Mama Jane, but you’ve never once called me that. I’d really like to hear it now and then, okay?”

  Ali didn’t know what to say, but she finally squirmed free and said, “Okay” before hurrying to her room. She undressed, put on a nightgown, and snuggled with Mr. Puss as tears ran down her face. It was the first time Jane had ever said she loved her.

  Ali folded her hands, closed her eyes, and said, “Dear Mr. God. Thank you for the best day I’ve ever had with Jane. Please make her happy. She’s gotten her heart broken at every turn. Yours truly, Ali.”