Durarara!!, Vol. 3 (Novel)

by Ryohgo Narita

  “…Ripped off to the tune of twenty thousand yen, how about that? And on top of that, I finally see my son’s true nature. Well, you’re not getting any inheritance.”

  “I don’t want any, and if I don’t mind saying so myself, this seems to be a quite fitting action for your own son to commit, don’t you think?” Shinra quipped.

  His father grumbled through the gas mask. “Rrrgh… Taken to the cleaners by a monster…”

  “If Celty took me to the cleaners and stole my soul, I’d be a happy man,” Shinra retorted.

  Celty sat back down shyly and unpaused the video game. But Shingen interrupted by sidling closer to her and noting, “Nicely done, Celty. I can’t believe how thoroughly you’ve tamed my son.”

  “It’s kind of gross to talk about ‘taming’ your own son like he’s a dog.”

  “Oops! And you’re positively brimming with morals and all that. It seems that you’ve lost your fangs and settled into Japanese customs. But I believe that, if you’re going to display proper respect, you ought to start by respecting the father of your landlord,” Shingen blathered on.

  “It’s not an issue of morals,” Celty typed irritatedly. “I’m saying you shouldn’t look down on Shinra.”

  “Oh?” Shingen exclaimed as he read both the message on the PDA and the body language she exhibited. “Why, Celty, are you saying…you’ve fallen in love with my Shinra? I knew that my son was odd, what with his unhealthy fetish for you. Does that mean the feeling is mutual?”

  Celty held back on typing further for the moment, unsure of how to respond to that extremely personal question. After a long silence, she looked at Shinra’s face and typed two simple words.

  “That’s right.”

  The man’s son reacted immediately. “Celty! I can’t believe you’re being so open and honest about our relationship! I’m so, so, so, so, so, so happy! A one-sided pining as lonely as the abalone in the cove has developed into a loving bond, rock hard and unshakable, worthy of being shouted from the rooftops to the ears of unconcerned strangers! I am leaping with exultation at your admission, my dear!”

  “Huh? Strangers? But I’m your father…”

  Shinra stood up and squirmed with joy, ignoring the grumbling from the gas mask. Celty felt rising embarrassment at her partner’s emotional display and extended a blanket of shadow that forced Shinra down into his seat.

  “Whaa—?! I think you’re beautiful even when you’re using your shadow more nimbly than your own limbs, Celty.”

  “Just shut up. Don’t shout that embarrassing nonsense at the top of your lungs! Also, that simile you used earlier was terrible and made no sense.”

  “Why, that just shows you the confusion that ensued at my utter joy to learn of the trueness of your love! And amidst that chaos and confusion, the only certain thing is my devotion to…mrrgh…mrff!”

  He squirmed as she covered his mouth to stop him from talking. Meanwhile, Shingen sat at the table and imperiously inserted himself into the conversation.

  “Hmm… Just a moment. Do you really think I’ll allow this kind of relationship?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I hate to bring this up, but in human society, you are an unwanted guest—a monster, if you will. Are you aware of that?” he asked, his voice dripping with irony.

  Celty did not hesitate in responding, “Of course.”

  Shingen’s eyes went wide behind the gas mask at the forthright confidence of her answer.

  “Of…of course?”

  “Why? Is there a problem?”

  “Well…damn. My plan to take the advantage by bringing up your antisociality has failed. I suppose I only have myself to blame after turning my son into an unlicensed doctor.”

  “I don’t want to hear a single word from you about antisociality,” she shot back.

  Shingen’s gas mask turned away from Celty in a huff. He tried a different vector of attack. “Er, okay, well… Is that any way to speak to your lover’s father? What happened to respect for your elders?”

  “I have been alive for at least a century. And that’s only what I remember.”

  She still had memory that suggested she had been living for much, much longer than that, but since losing her head, she could only clearly remember the last 120 years. Then again, it was possible that even if she recovered her head, those older memories would remain hazy.

  “Grrmm… Very well, I accept your relationship. And in return, you may now refer to me as ‘Father.’ At all times. Knowing your difficulties with your memory, allow me to repeat myself: You will now call me Father.”

  “Silence,” she retorted briefly, then gave Shingen a fresh glare. Of course, without any eyeballs to indicate such, Shingen might not even realize she was glaring at him.

  Now that I think about it, he might have stolen my head himself. In which case, it would be his fault my memory is poor to begin with.

  She just needed some kind of proof. Then she could put him through the wringer. Meanwhile, she decided that she ought to be calm in this situation.

  “At any rate, Shinra is not a child.”

  “That’s right, Dad. We’re serious about this. I’ve been reborn since Celty came here. I feel permeated with a deep feeling of contentment that never existed before,” argued Shinra, who had finally been freed from the shadow, but his father discarded his opinion.

  “But you were just a boy when Celty got here.”

  “Age means nothing to true love.”

  “Good grief, she really has done a number on you,” Shingen sighed, exasperated at his son’s logic. He rearranged the fit of his gas mask and muttered, “Done a number, huh? Celty, tell me, are you aware of the fairy known as a leanan sídhe?”

  “Of course. They’re fairies who travel in search of their destined lover. The man a leanan sídhe ends up with has a shorter life span but receives all kinds of special abilities in return.”

  “Aha. Very good,” Shingen said approvingly.

  Celty puffed out her chest with pride and boasted, “Heh, I always get one on my party in my favorite video game series.”

  “Can’t you at least say it’s because they’re fellow fairies? Hell, those are even from Ireland, same as you,” Shinra prodded her, exasperated.

  Celty swiveled her PDA screen to show him. “My home is Ikebukuro. After all…it’s where my family is.”

  “Ohh! That’s the sweetest thing! They say there’s no cure for lovesickness, but your smile can fix all ailments! C’mon, let’s mate like fish—gwufg!”

  Celty nailed Shinra’s rapidly approaching throat and gave Shingen’s previous question a more considerate answer. “Back on topic, I do remember meeting a few different fairies back there.”

  She continued typing at the PDA in little bits and pieces, taking the time in between to peruse her uncertain past. “What about leanan sídhe?”

  “Watching you just now, I had the feeling that perhaps you’re closer to a leanan sídhe than a dullahan.”

  “You think I’m going to suck the life out of Shinra?” Celty made a gesture of affront.

  Shingen shook his head. “No. As you said, a leanan sídhe is a fairy that travels in search of a man to love. If the man she sets her eye on resists, she becomes a slave who will do anything he says if it will make him love her, but once he accepts her love, it is like a bewitching curse that possesses him until his death.”

  “What does that have to do with me?”

  “A leanan sídhe is invisible to anyone aside from the man of her affections,” Shingen stated flatly, but the eyes visible through the white lenses of the gas mask were sparkling with delight. “Legends say they are extraordinarily beautiful, but only their chosen man can see them. Their beauty is unknown to any but their lover.”

  “What are you trying to say?”

  “How can you be beautiful if you have no face? Yet my son claims that you are beautiful with all of his heart. You have some kind of beauty invisible to the rest of us that is only appar
ent to the man you love.”

  It could have been taken as sarcasm, but Celty was not angry. She responded, “That’s hardly unique to the two of us. There was a boy who claimed to love only my head. Doesn’t this kind of thing happen all the time in normal human romance?”

  “Yes, you’re exactly right. Which means the leanan sídhe is merely a symbol—a stand-in for a kind of love that is actually more common than we might think. That is why, when I see you, I think that rather than a death-dealing dullahan…you might be more suited to be that other type of fairy.”

  “I see…,” Celty typed in understanding, then wondered, “then what about the part about stealing his life?”

  Shingen’s response to her innocent question came as simply as if it were obvious common sense.

  “Same thing. It’s a common phenomenon for human beings to drown in love so heavily that their lives become shorter. Finding love can lead to the blossoming of talent and the shortening of life. It’s two sides of the same coin.”

  A moment of silence passed.

  Shingen perhaps recognized that something had gone slightly sour in the conversation, so he quietly continued his point from earlier.

  “If you follow the local legends, the interpretation of the leanan sídhe changes dramatically depending on who tells the story. Some tales say that she’s an elderly witch who knows nothing of love.”

  “I see. You seem to know a lot about fairies.”

  “I’ve researched a great many things. It’s only natural.”

  “Actually…I do have a very vague memory of leanan sídhe.”

  Both Shinra and Shingen turned their heads to her in curiosity. It was quite rare for Celty to speak about her past.

  “Ooh? It’s very rare of you to tell a story from before you came to Japan.”

  “I guess. I have clear memories of night visions and pixies, things of that nature…but I’ve hardly ever felt the presence of fairies in this country—so the memories are very old.”

  Celty’s helmet tilted level, as though she were staring far over the horizon.

  “I feel like the leanan sídhe I met were indeed fairly old women. Though I also remember one younger. But there’s nothing more I can do about it until my memory returns entirely. At this point, my memories of Ikebukuro far outweigh those of Ireland. All those old memories do is fade away into nothing.”

  Shinra’s hand softly folded over Celty’s, which sat lonely on her knee.

  “It’s all right… You can replace the memories you lost with all kinds of new ones from now on. Whether you’re a dullahan or a leanan sídhe or a banshee, I would be honored to have you suck out my life force.”

  “Shinra.”

  “Let’s start the memories by having a wedding. First step is taking your measurements for your dress, so remove those pesky shadow clothes and—bwaa-bwee-hee-hee-hee!”

  “Buzz off!”

  She pinched Shinra’s cheek hard, but Celty was not truly angry about it. Shinra always made a big show about coming right for her, but she knew that he would not try anything by force and that he wasn’t simply consumed with lust for her.

  This was just Shinra’s way of showing his love for her, she knew.

  But I really ought to tell him off, anyway.

  “Ow, ow, ow! You’re gonna pull my cheek off, Celty. What are you going to do, rip it open and then fix it shut with cheek piercings?” Shinra jabbered, still having fun despite his pain.

  His father observed with annoyed resignation. “As they say, water only follows the shape of its vessel… Well, I feel like the reason Shinra turned into such a freak is because he was molded by the shape of your shadow. Actually, now that I think back on it, he was always a freaky kid. Used to laugh with excitement when he dissected anything.”

  “Obviously he got that from you!” Celty protested angrily.

  Shingen wagged a finger and clicked his tongue at her. “I told you, you are to call me Father. How long ago did I just say that? You really don’t pay attention to the details, Celty—never have. In fact, that’s why you’ve never even suspected that I stole your hea……… Aaaaaa! Crap!” he shrieked, realizing his mistake. But it was too late.

  Celty had just been wishing for more evidence of this crime just minutes earlier, but the anticlimactic admission was so sudden that she didn’t even realize what she’d heard at first. But as the meaning of the words sank into her consciousness, her fingers trembled on the PDA keys.

  “Y-youuuuuuu! What did you just say?!”

  The twitch in her finger must have caused the u key to be pressed down too long.

  Shingen’s expression was hidden by the gas mask, but he followed up his mistake with further insult. “Oh, dear. I seem to have admitted a deep, dark secret out loud… But I’m fine! Celty’s so harebrained, she won’t even notice!”

  “ ”

  The shadows surrounding Celty’s body flickered and danced with rage. She couldn’t even type. The revelation had been so unexpected and abrupt that her anger was not translating into action the way it normally would.

  The man in white leaned in to the turn. He bellowed, “Harebrained Celty! Haaarebraaained Ceeeelty!”

  “Shut up! Don’t repeat yourself!” she typed smoothly this time, the explosion of anger focusing the precision of her fingers. Meanwhile, she swung at him with her non-PDA hand, but it only hit empty air.

  “Bwa-ha! As if I can’t read a harebrained attack ahead of time,” Shingen crowed, evading Celty’s enraged punch—but not Shinra’s extended foot, flipping him in a half circle to sprawl onto the floor.

  “Gak!”

  “Dad…I don’t care if you’re my father. I won’t stand for anyone insulting Celty.”

  “No, Shinra, wait. Didn’t you know that harebrained is really more of a form of endearment than an insul— Ghuff!”

  All the air went out of Shingen’s lungs as Celty stepped down hard on his back. He wasn’t in a position to see her PDA, so she didn’t bother to type anything more. All he needed to pick up was the pure anger emanating from the sole of her foot. It crept up his back closer and closer to his head, the rage taking on a note of murder as it went.

  Shingen realized the danger he was in at last and pleaded, “All right! All right, Celty, stop! Let me ex— Let me explain! Not my neck! If you put all of your weight on the nape of my neck, you really will shatter my vertebrae! Stop! Stop! I mean…stop, please!”

  A few minutes later, Shingen was delivering a grandiose speech to the other two, his latest wave of heavy sweat having completely ruined his recent shower.

  “At this point, there’s no use hiding it… Yes, it’s true that the one who stole your head, handed it over to a pharmaceutical company, pretended not to know about it, and made you live in this apartment with Shinra…was me!!”

  “How contrite of you.”

  At great effort, Shinra had managed to calm Celty down, but the flames of rage within her still licked and flickered at Shingen’s apparent insistence that he bore no sin in the matter.

  Although she had essentially decided that she didn’t care about the location of her head anymore, she still couldn’t forgive him for putting her through all of that. Why had he even stolen it in the first place? If there was someone else behind all of this, she wanted to barge into their turf and give them a piece of her mind for an entire day.

  Shingen seemed to sense her rage. He said softly, “Very well… I shall tell you why it was necessary to steal your head from you.” He spun around on his heel and strode off for the front door. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”

  Celty and Shinra turned face and helmet to each other. Shingen was already slipping his shoes on at the entranceway. They followed after him, watching as he opened the door and headed into the hallway.

  Slam!

  The front door of the apartment shut abruptly, followed by racing footsteps.

  —?!

  For an instant, Celty was stunned into inaction by the enormous s
lam of the door.

  Huh? Hmm? What does this mean?

  It only resulted in the loss of a few seconds, but that proved to be an irrecoverable delay.

  “What? Did Dad just run away?!” Shinra wondered. Understanding came instantly to Celty. She raced to the entrance, forming her own shoes out of shadow and kicking the door open.

  All she saw was the plain hallway of the apartment building. On the other side of the hallway was the light of the opposing apartment. She looked left and right and spotted the indicator of the elevator right next to Shinra’s apartment descending toward the ground floor.

  That perverted freak. He’s not getting away from me!

  Celty eyed the staircase at the far end of the hallway and took off running.

  Her running speed was no different from that of a regular human being…

  But the way that the shadows writhed and spun around her made her look like a terrifying Grim Reaper.

  “…Is she gone?” came a voice, muffled by a gas mask, from behind Shinra’s back as he watched Celty disappear around the corner of the stairs.

  “Whoa!!”

  Shinra jumped at the sudden voice and spun around to see Shingen’s head poking out of the shadows behind an open door.

  “Dad… You made it look like you were running away, and then you hid?”

  “Pretty much. I nearly ran into the open door first,” Shingen said proudly, glancing in the direction that Celty had run while rearranging the fit of his gas mask. “But my plan to just hit the elevator button and hide worked out. I won through sheer luck—the elevator just happened to be stopped on this floor.”

  “I can’t believe this,” Shinra muttered in exasperation.

  Shingen brushed dust off of his white lab coat. “Hmm. As long as I keep the front of the coat buttoned, I suppose no one will notice I’m just wearing long underwear underneath… Anyway, I’m going to slip away quietly for now. I’ll leave my luggage with you and come back to get it when Celty’s not around.”

  “…I’m surprised you think I’m going to let you do any of that.”

  “You don’t want her to become a murderer, do you?”

  “Celty’s not that short-tempered.”