Ela: Forever (Waking Forever)

by Heather McVea

  Rachel slowly pulled away from Ela, her arms still wrapped around her waist. “I love you.”

  Ela smiled and kissed Rachel’s cheek. Keeping her lips on Rachel’s warm skin Ela spoke just above a whisper. “I love you.”

  Rachel and Ela walked back to the folding table and resumed folding the towels. “I have questions,” Rachel said, not making eye contact with Ela. “How would we do it, and where would we go?”

  Ela continued folding towels as she spoke to Rachel. “There’s a man who drives laundry trucks in and out of the camp who has agreed to take us out in one of them. He doesn’t want any details. It falls to us to be in the laundry bins at the right time.” Out of the corner of her eye, Ela saw Rachel nod. “He will stop his truck after the second check point. That will place us about ten miles from the camp, and before the third check point which is where his truck would be thoroughly searched.”

  Rachel slid the basket full of folded towels off the table and onto the floor. “And then?”

  “I’ve heard of a band of the Resistance called the Maquis that occupy the forests around Krakow. I believe we can find them.”

  Rachel leaned against the edge of the table and looked down, her brows furrowed. It was common knowledge in the camp that bands of fighters occupied the forests around the city. “I have always prayed for the Resistance.” Rachel whispered to herself. “What you are suggesting is next to impossible and would most likely get us killed.” Rachel looked at Ela and took her hand. “What about your mother? She’s not dead; so would you leave her behind?”

  Ela stepped away from Rachel, her blue eyes void of emotion. “I’m going with or without you. As for my mother, she barely knows where she is. Her life is over.”

  Rachel began to pace back and forth, worrying the inside of her cheek as her emotions undulated between anger at Ela’s willingness to leave her, excitement at the hope of escape, and the guilt over leaving her family. “Yes.” She had barely managed to utter the single syllable, but in the end could find no reason to stay. There was no merit or value in staying with her father, brother, and sister. The conditions in the camp had deteriorated to the point that Rachel was certain people would start to die off at an even faster rate than in the previous months. She knew her family couldn’t come with her and Ela; so she would go on her own. Rachel knew that any difference there was to be made would happen outside the barbwire fences of the camp.

  Ela grabbed Rachel’s hand, squeezed it, and smiled. “Thank you.”

  ***

  “Where’s my housecoat?” Agnes Bubel occupied the bunk next to Ela and Luella’s in the crowded barrack. She had come into the camp a plump two hundred pounds on a five foot frame, but after nearly eight months with meager rations, she was at least ninety pounds lighter. Possessions were few – particularly clothes – so she had kept her oversized housecoat and had been furious when she returned from the showers late the night before and it had disappeared from under the mattress where she stored it.

  It was now nearly five-thirty in the morning, and Ela lay awake on her back, her head resting on her bent arm, looking up at the metal ceiling of the barrack. She had taken the housecoat the night before and had hidden it under her own ill-fitted dress like a belt around her waist. She took a deep breath, sat up, and quietly dropped to the wooden floor. She cringed as the impact of her feet hitting the floor was louder than she had wanted.

  She looked down at Luella who was soundly asleep on her side, with her back to Ela. Crouching on her haunches next to the bed, Ela grasped Luella’s shoulder and gently shook her. “Mother, it’s time.”

  Luella stirred and turned her head so she could look at Ela. “Time for what?”

  Ela clenched her jaw and forced a pleasant tone when she responded. “The mess hall. You’re going to help with the roasts.”

  Luella sighed loudly. “Fine.” She sat up and began looking around for her slippers. Ela had them in hand and knelt to put them Luella’s feet. “Gently! My feet are sore.”

  Ela quickly looked up at Luella. “Shhhh. You don’t want to wake the entire barrack.”

  Luella shrugged and slowly stood. Ela took her by the hand, gesturing for Luella to be quiet with her forefinger to her lips. She took Luella’s hand and led her out of the barrack. Once outside, the chill in the air from the night before had turned into a bracing cold.

  “It’s too cold. Let’s do this later in the day.” Luella pulled against Ela’s hand and tried to turn back toward the door they had just exited.

  Ela kept a firm grip on Luella’s hand. “It’s now or never. Do you want those rations or not?”

  Luella hesitated, looking at Ela and then back at the barrack. “Okay. Let’s go.”

  Ela took a deep breath, not realizing she had been holding it. She knew if Luella decided to make a scene or refused to continue with the plan, all hope would be lost. But Luella did agree, and the two women wound their way through the camp toward the mess hall. No one paid them any attention as they were part of the morning shift of prisoners who prepared breakfast for the camp guards. Once inside the kitchen, Ela grabbed a large burlap sack she had set aside the day before after emptying its fifty pounds of potatoes.

  Two other prisoners were already in the kitchen peeling potatoes at a large wooden table across from where the cured roasts were stored. Ela looked back and forth between the prisoners and the hanging meat, trying to determine the best course of action. She opted to be casual. “Come on, mother, let’s get you set-up.” Ela hoped her anxiety wasn’t evident in her voice as she pulled Luella toward the dried meat.

  Comfortable their presence hadn’t drawn any unwanted attention, Ela began lifting the roasts down from the large steel hooks suspended from the ceiling. She pulled the twine that encased them off each cut of meat before placing them into the burlap bag. After cinching the bag shut, she handed it to Luella.

  “It’s too heavy.” Luella objected as she struggled to lift the bag off the floor.

  Ela grabbed the bag out of Luella’s hands, lifted it up and over her shoulder. “See? Hold it like this.”

  Luella frowned and snatched the bag back from Ela. Rolling her eyes, she struggled, but finally managed, with Ela’s help, to get the bag up and over her right shoulder.

  Ela stepped back and looked at Luella. “There. See, I knew it would work. Now, walk across the camp and to the laundry facility.” Ela put her hand on the other woman’s left shoulder and gently squeezed. “Remember, bin D.”

  Luella shifted her slight weight back and forth from foot to foot, trying to adjust to the bag’s additional weight. “You really are stupid if you think I would forget something that important.” Luella shook her head. “I’ve raised an idiot.”

  Ela’s nostrils flared as she took a deep breath in through her nose. “Good luck.” Ela thought it was appropriate she had wished her mother luck as she sent her off on what was tantamount to a death march. Ela had never believed in luck. It had eluded her most of her life; so by her reckoning, Ela may as well have wished her mother good pencil or good grass for all the good that luck would do her.

  As soon as Luella turned and began making her way toward the exit, Ela reached under her dress, and untied Agnes’ housecoat. Pulling it over her head, she was pleased at the fit. It was at least five sizes too big. Ela pulled the last three roasts left down from their hooks, and using the twine from the roasts she sent with Luella, she secured two of the three pound slabs of meat to each of her outer thighs, and tied the third cut of meat around her waist. The loose fit of the housecoat masked the additional bulk perfectly.

  Ela walked toward the exit opposite of the one Luella had used, and opening the door, took a tentative step forward to ensure she wasn’t going to trip carrying the additional weight. As Ela rounded the corner of the mess hall, she could see the first signs of dawn across the top of the trees. She didn’t have much time before she was to meet Rachel at the laundromat. Walking as casually as the nine pounds of meat would allow, she op
ted to not walk across the courtyard, but rather wound her way through the various structures and through the rows of barracks adjacent to the laundry facility.

  “That’s none of your business!” Ela immediately recognized Luella’s shrill voice. The woman had been stopped by two guards near the furthest edge of the courtyard. Ela lifted her brows in surprise that Luella had made it as far as she had. On the opposite side of the courtyard, Ela continued to walk toward the laundry, relieved her plan of Luella acting as a distraction was working as three more guards left their post in front of the laundry facility to inspect the commotion. “Let me go!” Luella pulled against the guards who had their hands around her forearms.

  “What’s in the bag?” The youngest of the five guards barked the question at Luella. Not waiting for a reply, he grabbed the bag and pulling a knife from its sheath at his waist, cut the burlap bag open. The three roasts rolled onto the muddy ground.

  Ela had reached the door to the laundry and looked back to see the guard plunge his knife into Luella’s throat, then rip it back out. Ela stood for what seemed like hours and watched as the woman who had brought her nothing but misery clutched the fatal wound in the front of her throat. Blood spurted from between her fingers and the color drained from her face.

  Watching Luella’s final seconds, Ela realized she had spent years breaking herself and putting herself back together for her mother. She had tried with each incarnation to find the balance that would trigger her mother’s love and acceptance. Luella was smarter than Ela had given her credit for because in the end she couldn’t trick her mother into loving her. Because of this betrayal, Ela hoped that in Luella’s last seconds, the woman would realize her daughter had been the one to send her to her death. In the end though, there was no glimmer of recognition in Luella’s eyes. Falling face first into the mud, she was simply not there anymore.

  Ela tilted her head to the right trying to relieve a sudden muscle spasm in her shoulder; otherwise, she felt numb as she went into the laundry. Walking the length of the building toward the loading dock, she avoided eye contact with guards. In return, they hardly gave her a second look as most were tired from the night shift they were about to be relieved from. Reaching the large laundry bins, Ela found the one marked D and quickly untied the roasts from her legs and waist. Pulling the housecoat over her head, she wrapped the meat in the garment and placed it at the bottom of the bin. She carefully arranged the clothes in the bin to further hide the contraband.

  Relief began to creep into Ela’s chest as she walked back toward the folding tables to wait for Rachel. Other than seeing Luella killed, she had very little recollection of how she came to be in the laundry facility. Taking several deep breaths, she knew they weren’t done yet. So many aspects of what lay ahead could go wrong. Before the dread could set in, Ela looked up and saw Rachel walking toward her. Instantly, Ela knew everything would work out.

  “You’re here!” Ela rushed toward Rachel. “I worried you might change your mind.”

  Rachel hugged Ela tightly. “Of course I’m here.”

  Ela turned to the pile of towels on the table and began folding them. Rachel followed suit to avoid any suspicion. “We need to get into bins F and E before the first truck.” Ela, for what she hoped would be the last time, laid a towel on the top of the now full basket.

  Rachel nodded. “How’s your mother? Did you have a chance to say goodbye?”

  Ela bit her lower lip and placed her hands palm down on the table. “I did.”

  Rachel reached over and covered Ela’s hand with her own. “What did she say?”

  Ela looked up and smiled at Rachel. “She wished me luck.”

  ***

  It had been three days since Ela and Rachel crawled out of the back of the laundry truck. They sat huddled around a small fire in a dense forest, under a cloud covered noon sky that left the forest in near darkness. A thin layer of snow covered the ground,

  “I’m freezing. Can we not add to the fire?” Ela asked through chattering teeth.

  Rachel moved closer to her, hoping the body heat would help. “We can’t. We would be shot on sight if the Germans caught the scent of our fire. ”

  “We’re going to die here, aren’t we?” Ela asked, burying her face in the collar of Rachel’s coat.

  “We won’t die, but we need to keep moving at night and resting during the day. This will increase our chances of making it into Russian occupied areas.” Rachel wrapped her arms around Ela’s shoulders. In truth, Rachel didn’t know if they would survive this. The onset of an early winter was making the weather less than hospitable, and Ela’s mood seemed to darken as she became more fatalistic with each passing day.

  Ela had not indulged in many wishful fantasies in her life. The harsh realities of her circumstances had all but eliminated that tendency in her. She had heard fellow prisoners talk about hope and the possibility they would be released or rescued. Ela had found no solace in this sort of escapism; in the end whatever few minutes of comfort you found in the fantasy were brutally slashed with the hard truth of reality. The tradeoff hardly seemed worth it. She had dared to hope though that her and Rachel would escape and find freedom with the Resistance, but now she was beginning to feel the hard truth of reality creep in.

  The last bit of hope Ela had was nearing its end as she clung to Rachel. The stillness of the forest was broken by faint footsteps coming from just beyond the tree line. Ela squinted in the dim light trying to see the source of the sound. After several seconds of listening to the crunching of snow, Ela knew they had been found. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself for the worst.

  Instead of a German soldier emerging from the forest, a woman, cloaked in a thin black coat, stepped out of the tree line. Ela’s breath caught. The woman’s hair was a long, thick brown-auburn mane loosely tied back, and her eyes seemed to glow a vivid indigo blue in the dim light of the forest. She was beautiful.

  Ela clutched Rachel’s coat and whispered. “She looks Maquis. Do you see the arm band?” In addition to seeing the woman more clearly, Ela was also aware she was rapidly approaching Rachel and her. Clearing the twenty yards that separated them in what seemed like only a few steps, the stranger was upon them. Instinctively Rachel and Ela scrabbled to the other side of their small fire in an attempt to put some type of barrier between them and the woman.

  The woman looked Ela and Rachel up and down. Her eyes lingered on Rachel. “Have you escaped from Krakow?” Her voice was melodic and didn’t match the stern look on her face. When her question was met with stunned silence, she took a step closer to the two women. “I asked you a question. Answer me now.”

  The woman’s eyes were no longer glowing, and Ela thought it must have been a trick of the dim forest light in conjunction with the fire. Taking a deep breath, Ela gathered her courage, stepped from behind Rachel, and spoke firmly. “Yes. Three days ago. Are you Maquis?”

  The stranger smiled, and Ela could see her incisors protruding from behind her upper lip. “You know the Maquis?”

  Rachel stepped up next to Ela and, taking her hand, spoke. “We do. We want to join your cause.”

  The woman laughed. “What do you know of our cause?” Pausing, she looked again at Rachel and moved toward the two women. Her motions were unnaturally quick as she stepped around the fire and stood mere inches from Rachel and Ela.

  Ela pulled Rachel by the collar of her coat and both women stumbled backward. As they landed with a thud on the cold ground, Rachel managed to speak. “We are of more use to you alive than dead. We can cook, sew, shoot guns, and wash.” Ela looked at Rachel and was surprised at how forceful her tone was considering they lay vulnerably on the ground at the mercy of the woman.

  The stranger crouched on her haunches. Ela heard muffled cracking sounds as the woman turned her head slowly to the left. She brought her head back around and addressed Rachel. “You’re the brave one, then?” She sniffed at Rachel. “Your point is taken.” She stood and offered Rachel her hand. “
Come with me.” Looking past Rachel at Ela, she added, “Both of you.”

  Rachel took the woman’s hand and looking back at Ela, put her own hand out to help her up. Ela took Rachel’s hand and scrambled to her feet. Brushing the dirt and snow from their coats, she and Rachel grabbed their bags and followed the woman into the forest. Ela frowned as she looked at the woman’s back. She didn’t like the way she leered at Rachel, not to mention the unnerving way she moved.

  Rachel cleared her throat before speaking. “I’m Rachel, and this is Ela.” Rachel looked nervously at Ela, then back toward the woman who continued to walk several yards ahead of the two women. “What’s your name, please?”

  Without breaking stride, the woman answered over her shoulder. “Coleen.”

  Ela was exhausted after nearly an hour of walking through the dense forest. Her feet felt frozen from the mud and snow that clung to them. Just as she thought her legs might fail her, they came into a clearing. Having spent the better half of the journey crouched over to avoid the low hanging tree branches that cluttered the forest, Ela’s back ached as she forced herself to stand upright. Finally able to take in the surrounding area, Ela stood with her hands on her hips as she surveyed the camp site.

  “This can’t be it?” Ela whispered to Rachel, who stood next to her rubbing her right shoulder.

  “I’m afraid it is.” Rachel winced as she rotated her arm.

  The camp was a thirty yard wide and approximately fifteen yard long clearing carved out of the forest. Ela had expected elaborate tents and bunkers, but instead there were maybe a dozen tents in poor repair strewn about the site. She took Rachel’s hand as Coleen approached. “You can take that tent on the far side of the camp. You will have to share.” Coleen smirked as she looked at Ela and Rachel’s grasped hands. “I suspect that won’t be an issue.”

  Ela swallowed the lump in her throat. “Thank you. Will we be able to talk about our duties in the morning?”