ARCHANGEL

by Bernard Lee DeLeo

  “Yep, it makes what we do a whole lot easier, huh?” Angelina remarked in a similarly hushed voice. “I bet Carol had a great big smile on her face this morning too.”

  “Hello,” Raphael called out comically from the coach, “Archangels here, you know, the ones who can pretty much hear and see everything.”

  “I imagined things too while we were traveling.” Abaddon grinned at Catherine. “It was an enjoyable ride to the store.”

  Catherine blushed and looked away. “You…you drive me crazy.”

  “Look at what you did now, baby. Cat’s beet red again,” Angelina admonished, pausing from unwrapping the computer gear for a moment to put a protective arm around Catherine while shaking her finger yet again at Abaddon. “We should concentrate more on demons.”

  “Why?” Abaddon asked in return. “We see them. I kill them - end of story.”

  Angelina rushed over and framed Abaddon’s head with her small hands, kissing him with passion. Catherine kept her eyes averted and on the task at hand, afraid for a moment she would simply strip and mount Abaddon as he sat on the couch. Angelina pulled back after a moment, and retreated to where Catherine stood reluctantly.

  “That was a rather simplistic statement, my brother,” Raphael commented. “What of the old adage about not underestimating your enemy?”

  “I would not know about that, Raph - all my enemies are dead.”

  Raphael put an arm around Abaddon with obvious affection. “You are indeed an avatar of the Lord. Don’t screw up and make me have to get my sword out again.”

  The satellite phone rang. Raphael answered it from where it lay on the table next to him. He listened for a moment before replying. “Thanks Carol, I’ll see you later.”

  “We have to get ready. The serving staff told Carol the meeting’s breaking up. They’re beginning to shut corridors down along the route Clinton will be returning to his room by.”

  “We’ll be right back,” Angelina said, dropping the empty box she was holding. “So much for research, I guess our planned update will have to wait for Hillary. That’s yet another glitch in continuity with Carol’s ease in Presidential information gathering, Raph. I’m keeping count.”

  Catherine followed Angelina into the next room without further comment. Ten minutes later, the two of them emerged from the bedroom with black miniskirts, high heeled black shoes, and halter tops. They each wore the same colored halter-top as they had earlier, but with a more shimmering type material. With a hint more makeup, hair hanging loosely at their necks, and sheer nylon stockings to complete their outfits, Catherine and Angelina struck seductive poses for the two Archangels.

  “What do you think?” Angelina asked.

  “I believe Clinton will certainly notice the two of you,” Raphael complimented them, standing up.

  “Cat’s a lot more sensuous since she got a little dark angel, huh?” Angelina asked.

  “Shut up, Muffy!”

  “Stay here boys. Cat will send you a call on the psychic network when we need help with Billy Jeff,” Angelina instructed, leading the way out. “Shields up.”

  “Do you two know where you are to go?” Abaddon asked.

  “Already looked it up on our map, baby,” Angelina called out over her shoulder as she opened the door. “We’ll get situated in plain view as close to the Secret Service as possible.”

  “I’d forgotten how impressive this place was,” Angelina remarked as she walked beside Catherine along the thoroughfare. “You seem a lot more at ease without your habit on, Cat.”

  “I thought I’d feel worse than I do,” Catherine admitted, “weaker, at least. It’s weird, but I actually feel stronger.”

  “With the looks we’ve been getting since we left the boys. I’d say we have a real good chance of distracting Billy Jeff.”

  “He might think we’re hookers. I doubt he messes around with pay per play.”

  “Good point,” Angelina conceded. “We’ll have to act coyly, like we’re waiting for someone. We need to put on a good show without making it obvious BJ is the object of our interest.”

  “Hey, we can kind of make like we’re interested in each other,” Catherine suggested. “That’ll get him looking at least.”

  “Sister Mary Catherine!?” Angelina whispered fiercely in a hushed voice, leaning closer to a blushing but giggling Catherine. “You little tart! You’re right though. If anything gets him, it’ll be that. I’ll be the butch.”

  “The what…oh… okay,” Catherine agreed, realizing what Angelina referred to. “There’s the sign for the entryway into the ballroom complex. It looks like we’re just in time. The men in black are stringing out a little, clearing the corridor.”

  “This is close enough.” Angelina slowed as the two approached where the Secret Service retinue would have to guide the ex-President.

  Angelina pulled Catherine gently over to a corridor wall near a main restroom entrance. Catherine leaned back against the wall provocatively with Angelina taking up a position facing the way Clinton would be coming. Angelina leaned close to Catherine, alternately touching her hand or stroking her arm while appearing to be whispering to Catherine. Catherine would glance toward Angelina every few moments, acknowledging her attention. The ploy was so effective even the Secret Service agents were stealing quick looks at the two women. Clinton appeared from the corridor, moving quickly away from the ballroom complex with his guardians in a circle around him. Seeing Angelina and Catherine, Clinton did an obvious double take, slowing perceptively as his small parade moved by the two. Angelina glanced up in time to meet Clinton’s eyes for a split second before he went past.

  “How’d we do?”

  “He took the bait like a big guppie.” Angelina nudged Catherine. “I think you were getting a little turned on, Cat.”

  “I was not!” Catherine straightened away from the wall uncomfortably.

  “Hey, I’m just joking. It’s hard to spend the night together with Abaddon and not get a little conflicted about each other. C’mon, don’t tell me you didn’t get a little excited when…”

  “Ladies,” a rather high toned voice called out to them.

  Both women turned quickly, surprised for a moment by how easily they had forgotten what they were there for. A gray haired man with slightly effeminate mannerisms approached Angelina and Catherine with a card extended to them in his well manicured hand.

  “I’m an aid for President Clinton. He wondered if the two of you would like to join him for a drink in his suite.”

  Angelina grabbed the card with enthusiasm. “Wow, would we. We’re his biggest fans. Cat and I thought we were seeing things when we spotted the crowd coming out of the ballroom.”

  “Fine,” the man replied with obvious disdain. “Hand that card to the agents outside the suite. They will steer you inside.”

  “Thank you so much!” Angelina continued her effusive tone but turned and made an annoyed face at Catherine when the man simply nodded and walked away. “Jerk.”

  “We’re in, Ange.” Catherine grabbed Angelina’s hand. “This is really out there on the edge. Imagine us visiting the ex-President of the United States to do an exorcism.”

  “It’ll be even weirder when we go after the Hildebeast. I wonder if we can get the demon free Billy Jeff to help us.”

  “Look how friendly Gorby was after we helped him. I’m really into finding out when he was taken over. If these are really Next Gen demons, I thought they’d have to put a few generations together before powering up like this one.”

  “Unless this one’s so powerful he can hop from one ride to another.” Angelina pulled Catherine in the direction of Clinton’s suite. “We better get moving. When we get up there, Cat, go for it as soon as he closes the door on his Secret Service guard. I can’t help but think of a thousand ways this gig can go bad.”

  “I hope we’re not on some demon grapevine where they’re exchanging info on us.” Catherine sped up to keep abreast of Angelina.

  “I t
hink Abaddon settled that avenue with Lucifer.” Angelina grinned mischievously at Catherine as they took an escalator up to the next level. “The Devil shut down the information highway when he understood Abaddon would cut pieces off him like a sushi chef. We’re moving fast, Cat. I’ll bet we can take out most of the biggies before they realize what hit them.”

  “You’re sounding as overconfident as Abaddon.” Catherine followed Angelina into an elevator. “I liked your thinking earlier. I wish Abaddon would have had a few minutes alone with Carol, just to be on the safe side.”

  The two nuns rode upwards in silence, sharing the elevator with two men they figured were the advance security detail.

  “I’m so excited!” Catherine played her part for the agents’ benefit as the elevator stopped.

  “Show a little restraint, Cat.” Angelina checked the card in her hand as they exited the elevator. “We should be coming up on… yep, there’s the Secret Service chorus line.”

  “Excuse me, ma’am.” One of the men exited the elevator with Angelina and Catherine, moving up in front of them. “Do you have an appointment with President Clinton? I see you have a card.”

  Angelina nodded and handed the card over.

  “Please follow me,” the Secret Service agent said, walking toward the entrance to Clinton’s suite.

  Inside the suite which was slightly more opulent than the one Angelina had requested for their stay, the aid who had handed them the card stood up from a lounger near the entryway to greet them. He held out his hand to Angelina and then Catherine with a self absorbed smile.

  “Glad you ladies could make it. I’ll tell the President you’re here.”

  “Ewww…” Angelina cringed, shaking her hand.

  Catherine chuckled. “I know. His hand felt like I was shaking a dead codfish.”

  “I’d have to be like Monk on the TV show with a pack of wet wipes for my hands if I was around that guy everyday,” Angelina added in a whisper.

  “Why are you whispering?”

  “The SS bugs these places when they watch the President, don’t they?”

  “I doubt Billy Jeff would ever let them bug any place he’s in.”

  “Now that I think about it, you’re right as rain,” Angelina conceded. “No way would he want to be recorded after all the crap he’s pulled. Do you think he’s like a tenth generation demon?”

  “I’m not sure about him but I’d bet money the Hildebeast is at least tenth gen.”

  The Presidential aid emerged from the door leading into another part of the suite, as Catherine and Angelina tried to stop laughing over Catherine’s quip. He approached them with an irritated questioning look on his face.

  “Something funny?” The aid looked around the suite as if he might spot what the two women were laughing at.

  “Just a joke my friend told me,” Angelina answered.

  “Please have a seat.” The aid gestured at the luxurious living room seating. “The President will be with you in a moment. May I get either of you something to drink?”

  “No thank you,” Catherine replied, as the two nuns took seats next to each other on the couch.

  “Very well, I’ll leave you to your meeting then. The coffee is over here on the bar. Help yourself if either of you change your mind.” The aid indicated a fancy urn set up at the bar past the suite’s entryway as he left the suite.

  “Maybe Raph’s right. This is all going to go down according to plan,” Angelina remarked nervously. “I’m a little pumped.”

  “Me too,” Catherine agreed. “I hope Raphael has his antennae up. We always cut it pretty close when I evict the thing.”

  “It’s a good thing you give them some pain on the way out. Otherwise, we wouldn’t even have a few seconds to get clear. I could tell the first couple of demons surprised even Raphael and Abaddon with how quick they turned on us. Maybe…”

  Bill Clinton entered the room, smiling broadly at Catherine and Angelina.

  “At least he still has his pants on,” Angelina whispered sideways to Catherine.

  “Well, well, well,” Clinton drawled, gesturing in welcoming fashion with his arms wide, “Sister Mary Catherine and Sister Angelina. It’s a real hoot to finally meet up with you two.”

  “Oh crap!” Angelina jumped to her feet, jerking a now attentive Catherine along with her. “Houston, we have a problem.”

  “Who tipped you off?” Catherine moved toward Clinton. “If you know who we are why didn’t you have us killed?”

  Clinton stopped smiling, a malevolent mask dropping over his features. He put up a warning hand. “Stop right there you little bitch.”

  A familiar figure walked out of the room Clinton had been in. She walked over beside him, slipping her arm through his. Hilary Clinton gave the two nuns a little wave with her free hand.

  “Hello, girls. Has Bill taken care of the introductions?”

  “Oh no!” Angelina hunched her shoulders in comedic fashion. “It’s the Hildebeast.”

  “I don’t like that name, girlie.” Hillary’s lips drew back in the feral look of a hunting lioness with her prey within reach. “You and this other bimbo have run the course. Now there’s only an eternity of pain for you left.”

  “Gee, Ange, I don’t think we’ve ever heard that one before. How the heck did you two bookends find out about us?”

  “Go ahead and tell Tammy Faye all about it, Bill. It won’t matter now.”

  “You think we have no contacts or plans, you stupid whore,” Bill told Catherine after nodding at Hillary. “We…”

  “That’s it with the name calling, pecker-head.” Angelina gave Clinton a come on gesture. “Let’s you and me and the Hildebeast dance a little before Catherine exorcises your asses into hell.”

  “Easy, Ange.” Catherine put a restraining hand on Angelina’s arm. “Something’s wrong. Let him speak if they’re willing to tell us. The boys should have been here already.”

  “Just noticed that, did you?” Bill grinned. “The boys, as you call them will be way too late, you little cunts. You two have pissed on our plans for the last time. It took us decades to get in a position where I could become President of the United Nations with Hillary as President here and Gorbachev a leader of the environmental movement. All the power…”

  “Gorby!” Angelina smacked her forehead with an open palm disgustedly. “Of course, Cat, they have their own little sewing circle of demonic leaders.”

  “You called Gorby and found out he wasn’t the same old Lucifer lovin’ troglodyte bent on world domination, huh?” Catherine asked the Clintons with a giggle. “We kind of put a knot in your bra on that one, right Hil?”

  “Very perceptive.” Anger spread into Hillary’s facial features as well as her words. “Once we knew he had no clue we directed our people to find out why. Aren’t they just the most precious things, Bill? I’ll enjoy hearing you scream, Tammy Faye.”

  “Where’s the cavalry?” Angelina whispered the question out of the side of her mouth, and received an answering shrug from Catherine.

  “I’ll see you on the other side, Ange.” Catherine squeezed Angelina’s hand gently before running at the two Clintons.

  “Car Fifty-Four, where are you?!” Angelina screamed out, following on Catherine’s heels. The Clintons stood together and held their hands out in front of them.

  Catherine and Angelina were hurled across the room to the floor, where they landed in a heap.

  “Uh oh,” Angelina groaned, helping Catherine to her feet. “Plan B.”

  “What’s plan B?” Catherine let Angelina steady her.

  “We get ready,” Angelina’s outfit changed instantly into her black nun’s habit. “Suit up and let’s rock.”

  A split second later, Catherine was dressed in her habit, happily gripping Angelina’s hand. They knelt together before the two advancing demons.

  “The Lord is my Shepherd…” Catherine began.

  “Shut up, you foul little cunt!” Hillary reached to choke Catheri
ne as Bill tried to restrain her cautiously.

  “Not yet. They’ll be praying for death soon enough. Get up! Both of you!”

  “And Jesus said,” Catherine continued, gripping Angelina’s hand for strength, “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth, and believeth in me, shall never die.”

  “In my Father’s house,” Angelina added, smiling up at the Clintons, “are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also.”