The Do-Over (Extra Credit Book 2)

by Charlotte Penn Clark

  “Yes, locking the door seems like a good idea this time,” I smirk.

  Standing in the middle of his room, I’m bombarded by memories. I was here two weeks ago with Lucy, but it’s so different to be alone with him. His room faces the back, with two large windows over the yard. There are no posters on the wall but a mantelpiece holds framed photographs of his family and several soccer trophies. Books are scattered in piles and a desk is covered in papers, but the room seems neater than last year.

  I turn and Matt is still leaning against the door, watching me. I sit down on his bed and lean back on my hands, admiring him. I’m not sure where this boldness comes from, but I feel I’ve been waiting forever for this. I’m determined not to miss my chance now. There’s something I need to tell him though.

  “Umm. Is this the right time to mention that I’m still a virgin?”

  I’m watching him carefully so I see his eyes go wide. “What?!” His head thunks back against the door and he groans.

  “You’re going to kill me, Annika! So that part was true all along?” He closes his eyes. “Dammit!” he mutters, then opens them, looking intense. “I’m sorry.”

  I have to struggle to hold his gaze as my pulse starts pounding. “Why?”

  He sighs. “Because I was such an asshole and I didn’t know, didn’t guess. I liked you so much that night, you know.” His voice has dropped and the vulnerability shakes me. “But I didn’t get you.”

  Deep breath!

  “I liked you too,” I whisper. “So much.” The emotion feels overwhelming and I need to get back to solid ground. “At first,” I add.

  Matt blinks, but when he sees my smile he starts laughing and moves slowly away from the door.

  “And it’s been a year??” He looks flabbergasted and I shift restlessly on the bed, averting my eyes. Suddenly I’m nervous again.

  “Well—I haven’t had a lot of opportunities!” I mumble. “Everyone already thought I lost it with you so how was I supposed to explain?” Do I have to tell him that I wasn’t even tempted?

  He stops at the bottom of the bed. “You’re sure, Anni? This is how you want your first time?” He swallows like he’s moved by this. “We don’t have to….” He stops, looking away. “We could just….” I’ve never seen him so inarticulate. “Like before.” He’s rigid with tension.

  I nod, unable to speak. I do want this. So much.

  He lets out a long breath. “My best memory from that night is of you stretched out on my bed, your hair floating over the pillow. And I wondered why you weren’t naked….” He smiles then, rueful.

  “We can fix that.” My voice comes out low and husky. “Undress me.” I scoot backwards on the bed to make room for him. I’m amazed by my confidence, but I’ve finally given myself permission to want this. To want him.

  His eyes darken and he crawls onto the bed until he’s hovering over me. “No vodka?” His tone is teasing, but his eyes are hot.

  I shake my head and start to say something but his lips settle on my parted mouth. And this kiss is very gentle, very careful. We don’t touch anywhere except for our mouths and it’s slow and sweet, but all the more intense for that. We finally break apart, breathing faster and Matt tucks some hair behind my ear, his mouth swooping to nuzzle my jaw, my neck, my shoulder.

  He murmurs something soft against my neck and I shift restlessly because my body wants more, now. “Matt….”

  “Okay then.”

  He pulls me up until he can reach the zipper on the back of my dress and slowly unzips me as I push his jacket off his shoulders and work on the buttons of his shirt. My dress falls away and I pause to free my arms from the sleeves. My gaze is glued to Matt though, as I pull his shirt out of his waistband and run my hands up his bare chest. He’s so warm, so solid—I hear him saying something under his breath as he unwraps me, skimming his hands down my arms and pressing kisses against my collarbone, but I can hardly process anything but the deluge of sensation.

  I collapse backwards onto the bed, wriggling as he pushes my dress down over my legs and drops it on the floor. I’m flat on my back now, just in bra, panties, and high heels, my hands eager at his belt. I’m too clumsy though and Matt disengages from me to stand and shuck his trousers. I reach for him again but he hesitates, studying me.

  “This is what I wanted to remember, Anni,” he whispers, and then his hard, hot body is back against mine and we’re stroking and kissing whatever we can reach. He groans when I press the heel of my hand against the bulge in his briefs and I arch when his mouth teases my nipple through my bra.

  “Off!” I moan, hoping he understands I’m referring to both the bra and the briefs. And my panties for good measure. We scramble to get naked and he settles between my parted legs, flexing his hips against me.

  “You’re really sure, Anni?” He’s panting against my neck, scorching me. I make a little mewling sound of consent. His fingers find me wet and he groans against my skin.

  “First you. This time I want to memorize every inch of you….” His head dips to move across my shoulders and he licks and kisses his way downward, making good on his promise. He’s gentle until he reaches my nipples and I clutch at him, pulling at his hair and moaning at the pleasure of it.

  “Harder,” I gasp, watching in fascination, then my eyes close as he nips and pinches me. He pushes a finger, then two inside me and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out at the sharp pleasure.

  “This is what you want, Anni? How you want your first time?” His voice is muffled against my breasts but he pauses to look at me, eyes dark and hot.

  “Anni? Say it!” he says, shaking. And I give in and give up to this—to this bone deep need for him. I’ve missed this and it’s just as intense as I remembered.

  “Yes,” I whisper, then more loudly when he strokes me roughly. “Matt! I’m so close—”

  “Don’t come yet!” he growls, inching down my stomach. I moan in protest, and then his mouth replaces his hand in long delicious strokes and soon the feel of his tongue tosses me over some high cliff, flailing and panting.

  “God!” Matt raises his head to look down at me, his expression taut and almost wild. He leans forward to reach his bedside table for a condom and I watch avidly while he rolls it on.

  “Now? Yes? Okay?” His desperation is turning me on again. I nod and spread my legs wider, wanting this, wanting him. And then we’re pressed together and he’s pushing inside me, slow and steady, and it stings but I like that too. I make an incoherent sound and push my hips against his, my hands clawing at his shoulders.

  He groans, closing his eyes. “So tight!” He shifts deeper and it’s unlike anything I could have imagined—the togetherness so intimate and intense.

  “I’m not going to last long,” he gasps, resting his forehead against my shoulder, trying to catch his breath. I weave my hands deep into his dark hair.

  I smile. “Go for it— it feels too good.” I shift into a rhythm with him, deeply sated.

  “Ahhh—yes, too too good. You’re okay? I can let go and.…” He groans as I tighten on him.

  “Yes! So okay. Let go—”

  And he does, his movements fierce and demanding until with a full-body shudder he releases into me, collapsing in a pile of warm, sweaty, salty flesh. I wrap my arms and legs around him and hold him close, smoothing my hands through his hair. I feel awash in warmth and tenderness, still tingling with pleasure.

  Matt raises his head to search my face and I flush.

  “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling shy all of a sudden.

  He drops his head again with a grunt. “Thank me? For what?” His legs shift against mine and he reaches between us to get rid of the condom. I watch with interest because this is all new and strange.

  “Mmm. There aren’t many girls who get a second chance at their first time.”

  He barks out a laugh, then turns his head so our eyes meet again. “Is that how you wanted it?” He sounds uncertain and it’s odd to think he’s the o
ne who needs reassurance.

  “Mmm hmm.” I brush some damp hair off his forehead. “Though I also thought it might be nice if my first time was leaning over a bathroom sink, with you pressing into me from behind and me watching your hands on me until we both came,” I muse, sighing.

  Matt’s eyes go wide and his breath catches. “You…!”

  I laugh when he can’t even finish his sentence.

  “Next time,” he says darkly.

  I’m not at all sure about our future but I don’t want it to show. “Nope. Not next time. Another time. Next time will be here tonight. Later.”

  Matt shakes his head and closes in on my mouth, kissing me softly. “Deal.” He rolls onto his side and I’m briefly sorry for the loss of all that warm, bare skin but he presses close around me and I snuggle into him.

  “What do people do now?”

  “People?” He opens one eye, amused.

  “After?” I shrug, feeling embarrassed at my ignorance.

  He smiles and tightens one arm around me. “What do you want to do?”

  I consider that. “Sleep, then do it again?” I suggest, yawning.

  “Sounds perfect,” he replies, kissing my shoulder. There’s a moment of silence while our breathing and bodies adjust to each other. I like it.

  Just as we’re drifting off I get nervous though. “You did lock the door, right?”

  He grunts. “Yeah. Don’t worry, Anni.”

  I relax and settle back into his warmth when he suddenly rolls over and walks naked over to the door. I admire him as he walks back, all loose and relaxed now. I love his confidence, and I love when he loses it and comes apart—because of me. I do that to this guy. We do that to each other—we lose control and it’s a little scary what we unleash. A wriggle of anxiety hits me. I didn’t think past tonight.

  “Yeah, locked.” He confirms as he pulls me back against him. “We’re good.”

  15

  Matt

  When I wake up the next morning I know something’s wrong. As the details of the night before trickle back in through my foggy morning brain and blissed out post-sex body I panic. What fucked up this time? Shit, where’s Annika?? Abruptly I realize that what’s off this time is that Annika’s nowhere to be seen.

  Fuck!

  I scramble out of bed, dragging on shorts and pulling on a tee shirt while grabbing for my phone. Nothing. I scan the room, lingering on the pile of clothing by the bed. I spare a moment to flip through some highlights in my memories of last night, grateful that this time I have memories… her insanely soft skin, her unexpected tenderness, how out of control we both get. It was so good, then even better the second time. So where the fuck is she?

  I text her as I stumble downstairs. I can’t imagine she’s there, but I have to check. Instead I find Geoff crashed out on the sofa, but awake enough to smirk at me.

  “Well, aren’t you a lucky dog! So the Russian hottie is open for business again, huh? Any better this time? Maybe I’ll try again too.”

  I’m cool so I only yank him up off the sofa and shake him hard instead of punching him in the face.

  “You fucking asshole! If you said even one word to her I’ll kick your ass!” I lean in close enough to tell he reeks of beer and cigarette smoke. Suddenly the whole scene disgusts me—the noise that keeps me from working here, the booze, the “brothers” who are nothing like friends.

  “The fuck, Matt? Get your hands off me! She’s a bitch, you know that!” Geoff splutters as his face goes red. Then I do punch him and it feels good.

  “Did you speak to her?”

  Geoff is howling and holding his nose. “I’m gonna report this! You’re in deep shit, Troubridge!”

  “Did you speak to her?” I shake him, losing patience.

  “No, asshole! She ran out of here like the house was on fire!” He glares at me.

  I release him, but hold his gaze. “Don’t ever speak to her again. Or about her. Do you understand me? AND SHE’S NOT RUSSIAN!” I’m as furious as I’ve ever been in my life.

  “Whatever, crazy ass! This is going before the disciplinary board and I’m going to get you sanctioned and kicked out, motherfucker!” He looks as smug as he can while holding his bloody nose.

  “Whatever,” I echo and shrug as I turn away. “I’m resigning.”

  “Whaaat?”

  I realize now there are a few guys behind me, watching this showdown.

  “I’m done. Effective immediately. See ya,” I tell them, stalking back up the stairs. And I feel relieved. I’ll be a senior next year and I won’t have time for this crap. I hear whispers and rumbling behind me, as well as loud threats and insults from Geoff, but I tune them out to re-check my phone.

  There’s one new message: Didn’t mean to alarm you. It was a great do-over. But now it’s over.

  My heart almost stops and I make myself pause before answering her, dropping onto the edge of my bed and hanging my head in my hands. Think! I know I’m supposed to be the smooth one but it’s a huge effort to manage a light tone.

  Are you giving me the brush off BY TEXT?

  Umm...?

  That’s not how it’s done, Anni. Meet me for breakfast.

  No.

  Yes.

  No! See you in class—

  What? I take a deep breath and plunge ahead.

  You’re worrying me.

  ??

  I need to know you’re okay.

  There’s a long pause after my last text and it’s agonizing. I’m such a mess that I hardly recognize myself. I swing wildly between exhilaration at the night I had with her and desperation to have it again—all of it. The talking, the teasing, the togetherness along with the hot sex. But this is Annika and I’m so screwed.

  Finally she responds.

  I’m good. So are you. But we’re not good together. We know that.

  This flays some raw part of me, but I refuse to have this conversation by text, goddammit!

  I’m coming over.

  When I get to her dorm Annika’s sitting quietly on the steps, and my pulse races at the sight. It’s finally gotten milder and she’s wearing her usual jeans with a sleeveless top that bares her toned arms and shoulders. Her hair is back in a ponytail and her neck entices me. Her face is as heart-stoppingly beautiful as ever. Her expression, though, is pale and shuttered.

  I hold out my hand when I reach her. “Let’s walk.”

  To my relief she takes my hand and lets me pull her to standing, swaying slightly. We both take a second to collect ourselves, then turn toward the quad, where students are already playing Frisbee and drinking coffees under the trees. She drops my hand as soon as we approach other people.

  “You scared the shit out of me,” I say, though that wasn’t in my game plan. My game plan was to smooth-talk her into another date, then another, then another, then….

  She hangs her head. “I said I was sorry,” she mumbles.

  This is so unlike Annika that it throws me. What should I say? What does she want? We start walking around the quad in an aimless circle. With a deep breath I take a plunge.

  “Last night was amazing, Annika. But the morning was maybe the most important part of the do-over and you fled. Why?”

  “Consider the morning done. We’ll agree it was a success. Game over.” Her voice is tight and I can’t figure her out.

  “You’re not being fair,” I start, but she whirls on me, cutting me off.

  “No, I’m not. I’m a bitch, remember? You shouldn’t let a little sex distract you from that!”

  I study her, frowning. “A little sex?” I repeat slowly. “Annika, last night wasn’t just sex, though the sex was incredible. You must get that!”

  Now she frowns. “I have nothing to compare it to,” she hedges, looking away.

  And I’m caught by my tenderness for her inexperience, my irrational satisfaction that her sexual experience is all mine, and my intense frustration with her. Why is nothing with her ever easy? Except sex, I admit, which feels na
tural and inevitable and…right.

  “Then let’s give you more data points,” I say easily, smiling as smoothly as I can when my feelings are in utter turmoil.

  She stiffens and her eyes narrow. “Yes, I should really date more. Sleep with other people—I mean ‘sleep with’ as in ‘fuck’. Good idea.”

  Aaannnd I lose it. I pull her into the shade of the nearest tree and haul her against me. I tug at her ponytail so her face lifts to mine and her lovely eyes widen. And darken. I know that expression now. She opens her mouth to snark at me and I swoop in. And the kiss is as good as it always is—painfully intense and sweet and hot. And her nails dig into my back, lighting me up.

  Then she pulls away. “Don’t!” She sounds breathless and looks unnerved. “This isn’t right—we fight too much and people will talk again!”

  “This isn’t fighting, Anni! This is foreplay!” I growl and she winces. I pull her hips against mine so she can feel how turned on I am. I’m struggling to hold onto my control.

  “Tell me you don’t enjoy this!” I lean down and bite her neck, feeling her flinch and moan. “This is us. Accept it!”

  She’s already shaking her head. “I don’t accept it. And I don’t like this sneaking around.” She scans our surroundings anxiously. “I’ve made a big project out of forcing you to be honest and authentic and now I’m making you lie and pretend,” she whispers. “I won't do it.”

  That gives me pause. “Don’t be silly, Anni—I’m more myself with you than I even knew myself. The way I am with you— this—” I wave a hand over us, watching her intently. “—is real,” I finish. She’s got to believe that!

  But she shakes her head. “Maybe. But you’re still hiding. We’re hiding, Matt. That can’t be right. This whole thing—right from the start, from That Night—has been driven by shame, by embarrassment. The do-over was great but it doesn’t erase the past.”

  I run a hand over my face, at a loss. “Okay. So now we stop hiding and stop feeling ashamed and accept this—I don’t care about being seen with you in public! I’m not ashamed of you or of us! You know that, Annika—that’s all you. But the solution isn’t to avoid it. It’s to accept it and get over the embarrassment.”