Birds of a Feather (An Agnes Barton Senior Sleuth Mystery Book 9)

by Madison Johns

  “Yes, but there is a vehicle registration number and plate you could look up.”

  Sales laughed low in his throat. “You just don’t give up. I’m not giving you any information. So, if that’s why you came by, you wasted a trip.”

  “Of course not.” I walked over to the couch, setting Andrea on the floor. She grabbed my slacks and held herself up, walking around me to the couch where she walked along it.

  “Has she taken any steps yet?”

  “No, just walking around the furniture,” Sophia said.

  Sales gave Sophia and Andrea a kiss and was out the door without saying a word. He certainly wasn’t easy to fool, but I’d enjoy my time with Sophia and the baby while we waited for it to get dark.

  “So, what do you think about Captain Hamilton?” I asked.

  “I really like him. It’s nice to see my mother involved with someone who’s not half her age.”

  “No, he’s only ten years her junior,” Eleanor said.

  “Now, Eleanor. I’m not about to get involved with Martha’s personal life. I rather like the captain, too.”

  “You could call him Adam,” Sophia said. “It’s his first name.”

  “I know that, but it’s so hard when he was the captain of our cruise ship.”

  “I suppose, but it’s kind of hard to believe that he just left being a captain of a cruise ship to hanging out with my mother. He doesn’t even have a job.”

  “Perhaps he can be a beach bum,” I said with a laugh.

  “I just hope this works out. I can’t believe my mother hasn’t gotten into any real relationship since she divorced my dad.”

  “Have you heard from him, your dad?”

  “No, I’ve tried a few times, but he always makes an excuse not to come to Tawas.”

  “Why not go see him with the baby?”

  “I asked Bill about that, but he told me I should wait until he could come with me since dad lives in Florida now.”

  “That makes perfect sense,” I said. “Do you happen to have something to eat? I’m starved.”

  “Haven’t you already had donuts? I can see frosting on both of your heads.” She laughed.

  “Actually, we never had the chance to try any donuts since Ella, the biscuit Nazi, threw them through my window at us.”

  “She’s taken on a second job at Tim Hortons,” Eleanor explained.

  “Thanks for the warning, but in truth she’s always been very nice to me. I don’t know how you two manage to rub people the wrong way.”

  “I’ve often wondered that myself.”

  Sophia led us into the kitchen, pulling out sub bread, ham, salami, and cheese while Eleanor sliced red onions and tomatoes. I put a liberal amount of honey mustard on my sub sandwich, enjoying it immensely. I went into the refrigerator and came back with diet cokes. The rule I have always gone by is that if you’ve been over more than twice, you’re able to fetch your own drinks out of the refrigerator. Of course I’d never do that unless it’s a member of my family.

  “Where are you two off to tonight?” Sophia asked.

  “Uhm … I-I—”

  “Enough said, but perhaps you should ask my mother to come along with you if you’re doing something after dark. Someone needs to be able to call in the cavalry if you two get yourselves into trouble.”

  “And how do you think we’ll get ourselves into trouble?”

  “I’m not sure, but knowing the two of you, I highly expect for it to happen.”

  I nodded and called Martha, who told us she’d meet us on Newman Street. By then it should be about empty since all the businesses closed up early, except for Barnacle Bills and Mr. Jack’s Sports Bar and Grill.

  I gave Sophia a tight hug and the baby a kiss, as did Eleanor, then we were off. I raced over to Newman Street since Martha just might leave if we didn’t show up. She had the attention span of a toad. Who could blame her with a new boyfriend to focus on?

  I parallel parked and waited. Suddenly, there was a tapping on my window, which startled me and caused me to jump half out of my body. I powered down the window to find Martha and Captain Hamilton standing there, laughing at our expense. “You won’t laugh when I drop over dead,” I suggested.

  Martha and the captain hopped into the backseat, and she said, “Don’t be so melodramatic. Your heart is probably better than mine. So, what are we up to tonight?”

  “Checking out the impound yard. I need to take a look at the wreckage from the car accident.”

  She sighed. “I heard about that, how unfortunate.”

  “Is someone working the impound yard this time of night?” Hamilton asked.

  “Course not. You don’t honestly think that we’d go there in broad daylight, do you?” Eleanor asked with a chuckle. “We don’t actually do things the right way.”

  “Oh, I see.” He laughed. “This is exciting. Are we going now or waiting until daylight?”

  “In other words, Mother, put the pedal to the medal.”

  Instead of doing it like she suggested, I eased away from the curb and took the back way to the impound yard. I shut the headlights off when I was almost there. There was one house on the other side of the yard and the last thing I wanted was for them to call in the 9-1-1 on this. I’d rather not try to explain myself if the cops showed up.

  We hopped out and closed the doors quietly, creeping toward the gate. I rattled it and the chain clanged against it with a high-pitched noise that I hoped wouldn’t travel too far. “It’s locked,” I whispered, as I had ahold of the lock, letting it thump against the gate.

  “How are we supposed to get in if the gate is locked?” Hamilton asked.

  “Shhh,” I hissed quietly. “We’ll be busted for sure if you don’t hush up.”

  “Unless you want to see the inside of a jail cell,” Eleanor said.

  I pulled out my cell and used the flashlight to guide us as we made our way around the fence, searching for an opening. It wasn’t until we were in the back that I found a piece of the fence that wasn’t secured to the pole. “This looks like it,” I said.

  I squeezed through first and held the fence up enough for Eleanor to come through, but neither Martha nor Hamilton moved. “Are you coming or not?”

  “No, we’ll play lookout and run for help if you get yourselves into trouble,” Hamilton said, like he was a pro at breaking into places where you weren’t supposed to go.

  “If the cops show up, we’ll make sure Andrew and Wilson know they need to bail you out,” Martha said, with a laugh in her voice.

  “I’d expect no less from you, Martha.”

  I led the way though the yard, shining the flashlight until I spotted the smashed Impala. The license plate was only hanging by one screw and the door was open, thanks to the Jaws of Life. I climbed in and rummaged through the glove compartment, but it was empty except for the car booklet, which I handed to Eleanor to retrieve. I wasn’t able to access the driver’s side by climbing through to it since part of the ceiling was caved in. Instead I got back out and went around to that side. The driver’s door opened easily and I put my knee on the seat, reaching under it to see if I could find any discarded papers that the police might have missed.

  “Do you find anything yet, Agnes?” Eleanor whispered.

  “Not yet, I’ll jot down the vehicle identification number so we can find out who really owns this car since I can’t find any paperwork,” I said. When I looked for the number, there wasn’t one to record. “Apparently someone scratched off the VIN number.”

  “I smell a cover up,” Eleanor insisted. “Who really owns this car? It’s no wonder I only found Birding brochures in the backseat.”

  I felt under the seats again. “That sure puts a wrench in our case. There has to be something more in this car.”

  “Hurry up, would you?” Eleanor said. “I hear something.”

  I climbed out of the car and that’s when I heard what Eleanor had and it wasn’t the cops showing up. It was worse, much worse! Before I cou
ld even move, Eleanor raced to a car, opened the door, and jumped in. “Hurry up, Agnes!” she shouted.

  I ran faster than anyone my age should, with the snapping and snarls from two Doberman pinchers that chased me. Only when I was in the car with Eleanor and the door was closed did I finally take a deep breath. “I should have known this was too easy.”

  “What, we never found anything.”

  “I mean the hole in the fence,” I told her.

  “But the car has a license plate,” she reminded me. “It has to belong to someone, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that’s stolen, too, like I think the car is.”

  “So, now we have a yet-unidentified victim in a car with the VIN scratched off. And a possible stolen plate, but since there are brochures about the Birding Festival, I’m sure the victim is a tourist.”

  The barking of the dogs rattled my nerves since they now jumped on the hood of the car we were taking refuge in, Eleanor and I hugged each other. “Cujo is going to make a meal out of us,” she said, making reference to a Stephen King story about a rabid dog. “How ever will we get out of this?”

  “I hope Martha is going to rescue us, but if she doesn’t, and soon, I’m calling Andrew, which I really hope I don’t have to.”

  “It would be better than being murdered by those vicious beasts.”

  Something to the left caught my attention and I spotted Martha walking toward us with a cylinder in her hand. With the spark of a lighter, I knew exactly what she was doing. She was going to torch these pooches. A flame shot out and the dogs backed off enough for us to get out of the car and race for the fence. Only when we were outside the fence did Martha join us. I sighed in relief until we were stopped from leaving by a booming voice that said, “Freeze!”

  Our hands flew into the air and a cackling voice could be heard. “Agnes and Eleanor, what on earth are you doing way out here after dark?”

  I squinted my eyes as a flashlight was trained on us. “Oh, Bernice, thank goodness. I thought you were the cops.”

  “Why are you here, Bernice? You don’t live near here?’ Eleanor said.

  “Don’t worry about me. It seems that you’re in a fix now and should be grateful I was here visiting Hank.” She smacked her lips. “You better hightail it out of here before the cops do show up. Hank here called them already.” She went on to explain that she knew us and that we were investigators.

  “You better get out of here, like Bernice said. I’d hate to have any of her friends wind up in jail.”

  I didn’t have time to thank him since I could hear the sound of sirens in the distance. We had barley gotten into the LX and raced off before the cops showed up. I prayed that they hadn’t caught sight of us leaving the scene of the crime.

  I wasn’t able to stop my heart from racing until we were back in town. “Thanks, Martha. If it wasn’t for you, we’d be dinner for those Cujos.”

  “I’d hate to see than happen. I swear reality is better than fiction. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them about your antics. I hope you gained some useful information, at least.”

  “Actually, more question than answers, I’m afraid.”

  Chapter Six

  We dropped Martha and Captain Hamilton off at the campground where she still lived in my Winnebago, which had been parked there for quite some time. Martha didn’t mind living there, it seemed; she particularly loved that the beach was only a stone’s throw away. It didn’t bother me, either, since it wasn’t like I’d be going on any road trip anytime in the future.

  Eleanor and I exited the LX with Martha and Hamilton. Instead of going into the camper, Eleanor and I headed over to the black trailer across the way that the gypsy Leotyne Williams lived in. I used to consider her a witch, but now, I knew her to be a fortuneteller of sorts. She liked to give us readings that were more unclear than most of our clues thus far.

  I rapped on the door and she opened it with a glint in her eye. “I’ve been expecting you.”

  Here we go again. I climbed the stairs, moving aside the beaded strings that hung from the ceiling to the floor that hippies in the seventies hung in their doorways.

  “Would you get up here,” I whispered to Eleanor. You’re embarrassing me.”

  “Since when does that bother you?”

  “If she no want to come inside, fine,” Leotyne said. She didn’t have to tell Eleanor twice. My friend ran back out the door, leaving me to face the gypsy.

  Leotyne wore her normal long black dress that did nothing for her grayish skin. She was seated at a table covered with a black cloth that went all the way to the floor. Centered on the table was her crystal ball that she was staring into and there was nothing else for me to do but join her at the table. She closed her eyes, humming to herself, opening one eye to gaze at me for a moment before she snapped it closed again.

  “I see an accident, a very bad accident.”

  “Yes, we’re investigating one.”

  “No, this one hasn’t happened yet. Birds of a feather, die together.” Her chair rocked and she fell face first on the table, slowly easing herself on the back of her chair. “That is all I can tell you.”

  I smiled widely. How could I not, with such a ridiculous notion? This was not getting me anywhere and I had my doubts we’d get anywhere with this case. “Thanks,” I said, as I got up.

  Leotyne took ahold of my arm. “Don’t worry. I know you’ll find what you seek. They don’t call you a great investigator for nothing.”

  Without thinking I gave Leotyne a hug, or part of one anyway, since she squealed in protest. I pulled back and went straight out the door, embarrassed. Why did I do that? I didn’t even care for that woman and she still scared me most of the time. I wondered why I insisted on visiting her at all. I guess I was just desperate enough now, since this case hadn’t gone anywhere. If I could at least learn the identity of the accident victim, we’d have something to go on.

  Outside, I gave Eleanor a look and she shrugged. “You know I don’t care much for her, or her hell hound.”

  “I didn’t see that dog. Perhaps she doesn’t have it anymore.”

  “Beats me, but can I go home now? I really would love to take a shower and wash this frosting out of my hair.”

  “Sounds like a plan to me. I bet I look a mess, too.”

  “Not any more than I do, I suppose.”

  Martha seemed to be having a fit of the giggles with Hamilton at her side. They waved as we left and I drove to Eleanor’s house, which didn’t take all that long since it was late and there was not another car in sight. I had no sooner cut off the engine at her house than Andrew came out the door.

  “Hello, dear,” I said, as I got out.

  “Don’t ‘hello dear’ me. Where have you been?”

  “Do you need a list of the places I’ve been? We’ve been investigating.”

  “I know that, but where exactly?”

  “I’ll explain it when we’re inside.”

  Eleanor and I walked inside and Wilson was leaning on his walker. He began to laugh, a long, high-pitched laugh that grated on my nerves.

  “What’s so funny?” Eleanor asked him.

  “Besides the both of you, nothing.”

  I glanced at Andrew and he was trying hard not to laugh, too. “What happened to your hair. It looks—”

  “Frosting is caked on it, I know. We had a little accident at Tim Hortons.”

  “What, you got caught in the frosting vat?” Wilson laughed.

  “No, Ella works there now and I have the feeling she doesn’t care for us that much.”

  “What gives you that idea?” Andrew asked.

  “It’s the way she threw two boxes of donuts at us,” Eleanor said. “Practically all of them fell all over us.”

  “Did you happen to bring any of these donuts home?” Wilson asked, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

  “Sorry, we took them to the sheriff’s department.”

  “We were trying to sweeten up Peterson’s mood,” Elea
nor said. “But he wouldn’t tell us the name of the victim of the car accident.”

  “Well, you can just check that out tomorrow. They just released it on the news,” Andrew said. “Donald Downey. He’s from Au Gres.”

  I plopped down on a chair. “I just don’t understand if they were that close to releasing the name why the sheriff just didn’t tell us. He only said the victim was from out of town.”

  “At least we have something to go on now,” Eleanor pointed out. “Then you wanted to have the Hill brothers take a look at the skid marks.”

  “You’re right, Eleanor, and Au Gres isn’t too far away to investigate. I can’t imagine anyone in town would know him, or we won’t be able to find out until we poke around in Au Gres, but first thing tomorrow we’ll catch up with the Hill brothers.”

  “Good, let’s head on home now before Wilson gives himself a hernia laughing since you look such a fright,” Andrew suggested.

  I went into the bathroom and stared at my crazy hair that was sticking up all over the place and I yanked a stick out of it that I had most likely picked up climbing though that fence. I tried to smooth down my hair, but it was stuck into place, thanks to the frosting. I trounced back into the kitchen and announced, “I’m ready to go.”

  Andrew led the way outside and he wrapped an arm around me, planting an unexpected kiss on me. “Nope,” he said. “You don’t taste like frosting.”

  “I certainly don’t think you’re a bit funny.”

  “What are the odds that Tim Hortons is still open?”

  “I don’t care if it is. After the way Ella treated us, I’ll never go back there.”

  “Aww, where is the Agnes I love? You know, the one who’s always ready for a new adventure.”

  “The only adventure I want tonight is to take a shower and head to bed. Stuart is planning to stop by in the morning, remember?”

  “I vaguely remember that. I’m too tired for any funny business, just in case you have that on your mind.”

  I pulled away and hopped in the passenger’s side of the LX, trying hard not to laugh. I had to admit that I wished I had energy left in me since I had such a loving husband.