Everyday Slang from 'What's Up'

by Erin Coyne

  Or, How to Get Your Ass Kicked in Russia.

  If you spend even a short amount of time in Russia, sooner or later someone is gonna piss you off. Choose your words careful y though, as alcohol

  + pissed-off Russian = a situation that could escalate unexpectedly fast. If you’re ready to put your money where your mouth is and you’re crazy enough to see it through to the bitter end, here you go. Udachi!

  You talkin’ to me?

  ti MNYE go-vo-RISH?

  Hey buddy, what’s the problem?

  eh, dru-ZHOK, chto za pro-BLYE-ma?

  What’s the deal?

  v chom DYE-lo?

  What are you messing with me for?

  cho ti pri-sta-YOSH?

  What the hell is going on here?

  chto za BLYAD-stvo?

  What is this mess?

  chto za bar-DAK?

  What is this nonsense?

  cho E-to za bai-DA?

  Stop your frontin’!

  nye vi-PYEN-dri-vaj-sya!

  What, have you lost your mind?

  u tebya CHTO, KRI-sha po-YE-kha-la?

  What the hell do you want, you little shit?

  CHO tye NA-do, gav-NYUK?

  Get outta my face!

  s glaz do-LOI!

  Piss off!

  i-DI ti NA fig!

  Go to hell!

  i-DI k CHOR-tu!

  Shove off!

  po-SHOL ti!

  I’ve had it up to here with you!

  ya to-BOI sit po GOR-lo!

  I’ve fucking had it with you!

  ti me-NYA za-ye-BAL!

  I’m so damn fed up with you already!

  ti me-NYA za-dol-BAL u-ZHE!

  I’m sick of your stupid mug!

  mnye na-do-YE-la tvo-YA du-RATS-ka-ya RO-zha!

  Get outta here, bitch!

  va-LI ot-SYU-da, SU-ka!

  Get your sorry ass outta here!

  che-SHI BUL-ka-mi ot-SYU-da!

  Get the fuck away from me!

  ot-ye-BIS ot me-NYA!

  Get your hands

  off me!

  RU-ki PROCH ot

  me-NYA!

  Leave me alone!

  o-STAV me-NYA

  v po-KO-ye!

  Move your ass!

  PIZ-dui!

  I ain’t got time for you!

  mnye nye do te-BYA sei-CHAS!

  Don’t even think you can dis me like that.

  DA-zhe nye DU-mai, chto MO-zhesh me-NYA khui nye

  STA-vit.

  Don’t try to screw me over.

  nye sta-RAI-sya me-NYA vyer-TYET na ba-NA-nye.

  Stop trying to pull a fast one on me!

  KHVA-tit mo-RO-zi-tsya!

  Don’t try to pull one over on me!

  nye PU-dri mnye moz-GI!

  Don’t play me for an idiot!

  nye DYEL-ai iz me-NYA i-di-O-ta!

  What, are you trying to rip me off?

  ti CHO, KHO-chesh ob-o-DRAT me-NYA kak LI-pu?

  If you touch me again, my husband’s gonna kick

  your ass.

  YES-li ye-SCHO raz me-NYA TRO-nyesh, muzh te-BYE

  piz-dyu-LEI na-VYE-sha-yet.

  Stop giving me the third!

  KHVA-tit me-NYA mu-RI-zhit!

  Don’t screw around!

  nye BA-lui-sya!

  Don’t tell me a bunch of jive!

  nye ras-SKA-zi-vai mnye BAI-ki!

  Fuck off!

  po-SHOL ti NA khui!

  This is the most common way to tel someone to fuck off. Keep in mind that the form has to change if you’re talking to a chick (

  ) or to

  a group of people (

  ). Although this one phrase wil always take you where you wanna go, if you like a little variety in your cursing,

  here are some other phrases you can use with more or less the same general meaning.

  DAMN! 〉〉〉

  CHORT!

  Darn!

  blin!

  Damn!

  blyad!

  Dammit!

  BLA-kha MU-kha!

  Oh, snap!

  YO mo-YO!

  Goddammit!

  chort voz-MI!

  Well, shoot!

  YOL-ki PAL-ki!

  Fucking shit!

  ye-BA-tsa-SRA-tsa!

  Fuck!

  piz-DYεTZ!

  Fuck you!

  YOB te-BYA!

  Fuck your mother!

  YOB tvo-YU mat!

  Fuck no!

  khui v rot!

  Go fuck yourself!

  i-DI v ZHO-pu!

  Literal y, “go to ass.”

  What the fuck!

  na khu-YU VI-dyet!

  RACIAL SLURS〉〉〉

  RA-SIST-SKI-YE VI-RA-ZHE-NI-YA

  There ain’t nothin’ PC about Russian culture, and everything from nasty racial and ethnic slurs to the ubiquitous Chukchi jokes are fairly common.

  Chukchi are an indigenous people of the Russian Far Eastern District, and if you’ve never heard a Chukcha joke, they’re usual y something along these lines.

  Why does the Chukcha open yogurt in the store?

  Because it says “Open here”!

  po-che-MU CHUK-cha ot-kri-VA-yet YO-gurt v ma-ga-ZI-nye?

  po-to-MU chto na nyom na-PI-sa-no: “Ot-KRIT zdyes”!

  In other words, like most racist humor, this ain’t real clever stuff.

  BLACKASS

  CHYεR-NO-ZHO-PII

  This term describes not only people of African descent, but basical y anyone darker skinned than your average Slav, such as Caucasians (i.e., people from the Caucasus region). Here’s a little irony for you: In the U.S., a “Caucasian” is a white person, but to a Russian a “Caucasian” is black.

  Go figure. You might also hear the term

  ( hyerno-MA-zii ) referring to any dark-skinned person. Black people of African origin are usual y

  cal ed

  ( NYε-gri), which is actual y considered a fairly neutral term, unlike its English equivalent.

  LKN

  el-ka-εN

  This stands for

  ( li-TSO kav-KAZ-koi na-sti-o-NAL-nos-ti), or a person of Caucasian nationality. There is in fact no such

  thing as a single “Caucasian nationality,” and this term can refer to anyone from Armenians, Georgians, and Azeris to Chechens, Ingush, and various ethnic groups of Dagestan.

  CAUCASIAN

  KHA-CHIK

  Again, meaning someone from the Caucasus region. This term comes from an Armenian name.

  CENTRAL ASIAN

  U-RYUK

  You might also hear

  ( chur-BAN) or

  ( CHUR-ka)

  UKRAINIAN

  KHO-KHOL

  A female Ukrainian is a

  ( kho-KHLUSH-ka), and Ukraine itself is sometimes referred to as

  ( khokh-LAN-di-ya).

  BELARUSIAN

  BUL-BASH

  YID

  ZHID

  Israel is also sometimes referred to as

  ( zhi-DO-vi-ya). You may also here the words

  ( ZYA-ma) and

  ( ra-bi-NO-vich ) in

  reference to Jews.

  SLIT EYE

  UZ-KO-GL A-ZII

  FROG

  LYA-GU-SCHAT-NIK

  Funny how everyone seems to cal them that.

  YANK

  A-Mε-RI-KOS

  You may also hear,

  ( yus) from “U.S.”, and, of course

  ( YANKI ). There is also the word

  ( pin-DOS) which used to apply to American

  military serving abroad, but is now often used for Americans in general.

  RUSSKY

  MOS-KAL

  This term is mainly used by Ukrainians to refer to their sometimes not-so-friendly neighbors. You might also hear

  ( ru-SAK) and

  ( ka-

  TSAP).

  Fuck you in the mouth!

  ye-BAT te-BYA v rot!

&n
bsp; F you!

  po-SHOL na tri BUK-vi!

  While most Russians do understand the gesture of giving the bird, they also have a gesture cal ed the

  (fig), which is used in the same way but

  is formed by making a fist and putting your thumb between your index and middle finger. For example:

  He gave me the fig.

  on dal mnye fig.

  In other words, he flipped me off Russian style.

  Talkin’ shit

  ob-si-RA-ni-ye

  Don’t be a smart aleck!

  nye UM-ni-chai!

  Не

  Stop being such a wanker!

  KHVA-tit kha-MIT!

  Don’t ask me such stupid questions!

  nye za-da-VAI mnye du-RATS-ki-kh vo-PRO-sov!

  Не

  Shut your piehole!

  past za-KHLOP-ni!

  Shut up, you fucking moron!

  zat-KNIS, dol-bo-YOB!

  Shut your fucking mouth already!

  zat-KNI ye-BA-lo u-ZHE!

  Drop dead!

  chtob ti SDOKH!

  Eat shit and die!

  zhri gov-NO i SDOKH-ni!

  Shove it up your ass!

  khui te-BYE v ZHO-pu!

  You stinking bastard!

  u-BLYU-dok vo-NYU-chii!

  Y’all are a bunch of fags!

  vi VSYE pi-da-RA-si!

  Kickin’ ass

  mor-do-BOI

  When it’s time to real y get your game on and make your ass-kicking intentions known, these phrases won’t leave ’em guessing about how the night is gonna end. So get out your brass knuckles, update your insurance policy, and let’s rumble Russian style!

  What, you cruisin’ for a bruisin’?

  ti CHTO, KHO-chesh MA-khach?

  I’m gonna kick your ass!

  ya te-BYA vye-BYU!

  I’ll crack your nuts wide open!

  ya te-BYE SDYE-la-yu YICH-ni-tsu!

  Literal y, “I’l make you scrambled eggs.” If you recal , in Russian, bal s are cal ed “eggs.”

  I’m going to kill you!

  ya te-BYA GROKH-nu!

  I’m gonna ice you!

  ya te-BYA za-mo-CHU!

  If you come near me again, I’m gonna open up a can

  of whoop ass on you!

  YES-li ye-SCHO raz ko MNYE po-do-i-DYOSH, ya te-BYA

  pye-rre-khu-YA-ryu!

  If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m gonna beat the shit

  out of you!

  YES-li nye za-KRO-yesh rot, ya te-BYA ot-PI-zhu!

  You want a piece of this?

  ti CHO, KHO-chesh piz-DI po-lu-CHIT?

  On your knees, bitch!

  na ko-LYE-ni, SU-ka!

  Ha

  cyka!

  I’m going to rearrange your face!

  ya te-BYE na-CHI-schu RI-lo!

  I’m gonna fuck you up!

  ya te-BYA iz-mu-DO-kha-yu!

  I’m going to bash your fuckin’ face in!

  ya te-BYE VRYE-zhu po ye-BA-lu!

  I’m gonna own you, bitch!

  ya te-BYA VI-ye-blyu, SU-ka!

  NAME CALLIN’〉〉〉

  OB-ZI-VA-NI-YE

  Bitch!

  SU-ka!

  (used for both

  males and females)

  Son of a bitch!

  SU-kin sin!

  Bastard!

  PAD-la!

  Dummy!

  ba-RAN!

  Wacko!

  byez-BA-she-nnii!

  Asshole!

  mu-DAK!

  Jackass!

  ko-ZYOl!

  Freak!

  u-ROD!

  Prick!

  pod-LYεTS!

  Retard!

  dye-fyek-TIV-nii!

  Dirty ass prick!

  khui nye-MI-tii

  Scumbag!

  po-DO-nok!

  Dipshit!

  lokh!

  Moron!

  dye-BIL!

  Psycho!

  psikh!

  Cocksucker!

  khu-ye-SOS!

  Хуесос!

  Fucking whore!

  BLYAD-ska-ya piz-do-YO-bi-na!

  Fuck brain!

  moz-go-YOB!

  Trainstation whore!

  SHLYU-kha vok-ZAL-na-ya!

  Ass-eyed cunt!

  piz-DA zho-po-GLA-za-ya!

  Fucking bitch!

  SU-ka zlo-ye-BU-cha-ya!

  Fucking piece of shit!

  YO-ba-nnii za-SRA-nyets!

  Relax!

  ras-SLAB-sya!

  And if you wuss out at the last minute…

  Calm down!

  us-po-KOI-sya!

  Get a grip!

  voz-MI se-BYA v RU-ki!

  Come to your senses!

  o-POM-nis!

  Everything’s under control here.

  VSYO tut pod kon-TROL-yem.

  No questions/I got it.

  ba-ZA-rov nyet.

  Whatever you say.

  kak SKA-zhesh.

  Indifference

  rav-no-DU-shi-ye

  They say the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. So if you real y wanna piss someone off, just tel them how little you care.

  I don’t give a care.

  mnye PO fi-gu.

  I couldn’t care less.

  mnye po ba-ra-BA-nu.

  I don’t give a shit.

  mnye na-SRAT.

  I don’t give a damn.

  mnye na-plye-VAT.

  Makes no diff to me.

  da mnye ab-so-LYUT-no fi-o-LYE-to-vo.

  I don’t give a rat’s ass.

  mnye PO-khui.

  I don’t give a fuck.

  me-NYA E-to nye ye-BYOT.

  What the hell do I need your problems for?

  na fi-GA mnye nuzh-NI tvo-I pro-BLYE-mi?

  На

  What the hell do I care?

  nu, a mnye ka-KOI khryen?

  Ну, а

  And what do I have to do with it?

  a ya tut pri-CHOM?

  А

  That’s all I need!

  TOL-ko E-to-vo mnye nye khva-TA-yet!

  To fuck with it all!

  ye-BIS vsyo ko-NYOM!

  Smack talk

  vsyAkaya gAdost

  I don’t know what it is about talking shit about other people, but it just feels good. Mocking others is actual y one of my favorite pastimes. From ridiculing friends and family members to total strangers, it’s good, clean fun to grossly exaggerate—if not outright fabricate—various personal weaknesses for your own entertainment.

  He’s a liar.

  on vrun.

  He always talks nonsense.

  on po-sto-YA-nno bryed nye-SYOT.

  He thinks he’s all that.

  on schi-TA-yet se-BYA kru-TIM.

  He’s not only a moron, but he smells bad, too.

  on nye TOL-ko dye-BIL, on ye-SCHO i von-YA-yet.

  His hot ride totally means that he has a tiny dick.

  ye-VO KLASS-na-ya TACH-ka od-no-ZNACH-no go-vo-RIT o tom, chto u nye-VO MA-lyen-kii chlyen.

  What, can’t you see he just a screwball?

  ti CHTO, nye VI-dish, chto E-to zhe KLO-un?

  He does everything half assed.

  on vsyo DYEL-a-yet v pyen ko-LO-du.

  Her tits gotta be fake.

  ye-YO SIS-ki TOCH-no si-li-KO-no-vi-ye.

  Her ass is way too fat for those jeans.

  ye-YO ZHO-pa SLISH-kom TOL-sta-ya dlya ta-KIKH

  JIN-sov.

  He’s the biggest dickhead I have ever seen.

  ta-KO-vo VSHI-vo-vo piz-DYU-ka ya ye-SCHO nye

  vi-DAL.

  Just look at that loser—what a freak!

  ti po-smo-TRI na E-to-vo LU-ze-ra—ta-KOI u-ROD!

  He’s a fucking zero.

  on vo-ob-SCHE piz-do-YOB.

  Он

  .

  He’s a total bastard and a real smart-ass to boot.

&nb
sp; on po-SLYED-nya-ya SVO-loch i k to-MU zhe ta-KOI

  khi-tro-ZHO-pii.

  Он

  .

  He’s such a douche bag and I’m sick of all his

  frontin’.

  on ta-KOI gon-DON i mnye na-do-YE-li ye-VO pon-TI.

  She’s such an idiot.

  o-NA ta-KA-ya DU-ra.

  .

  She’s such a wench.

  o-NA ta-KA-ya STYER-va.

  I’m sick of her bitchiness.

  mnye na-do-YE-la ye-YO VRYED-nost.

  She’s just a skanky blonde bimbo.

  o-NA PROS-to BLYAD-ska-ya bye-lo-KUR-va.

  She’s so easy she changes lovers more often than she

  changes her underwear.

  o-NA ta-KA-ya da-VAL-ka, chto mye-NYA-yet lyu-BV-nikov CHA-sche, chem svo-I TRU-si-ki.

  He thinks he’s hot shit.

  on chi-TA-yet se-BYA khu-YOM VAZH-nim.

  He’s kind of a weirdo.

  u nye-VO ta-ra-KA-ni v go-lo-VYE.

  Literal y, “he’s got cockroaches in his head.”

  He throws his scratch away on schlock.

  on vi-BRA-si-va-yet svo-YO ba-BLO na ba-ra-KHLO.

  He always takes the bus because he’s such a

  tightwad.

  on vseg-DA YEZ-dit na av-TO-bu-sye po-to-MU chto ye-VO ZHA-ba DU-shit.

  .

  The image is literal y of someone being strangled by a toad.

  She belongs in a psych ward.

  ye-YO MYE-sto—v psi-KHUSH-kye.

  .

  I’m cheesed by…

  me-NYA BYE-sit (singular)…/me-NYA BYE-syat (plural)…

  your idiotic grin.

  tvo-YA i-di-OT-ska-ya u-LIB-ka.

  your stanky armpits.

  tvo-I vo-NYU-chi-ye pod-MIH-ki.

  your slutty girlfriend.

  tvo-YA BLYAD-ska-ya po-DRUZH-ka.

  your stupid ideas.

  tvo-I du-RAT-ski-ye i-dye-I.

  your endless jabber.

  tvo-YA byes-ko-NYECH-na-ya bol-tov-NYA.

  Disbelief

  nye-do-VYER-i-ye

  Let’s face it: Most people are ful of crap. I say, cal them out and tel them straight up that you ain’t buyin’ what they’re sel in.’

  You gotta be kidding me!

  da ti chto!

  That’s hogwash!

  in-tye-RYES-no-ye ki-NO!

  What a load of crap!

  chto za che-pu-KHA!

  That’s total BS!

  E-to POL-nii bryed!

  That’s bull!

  E-to ga-LI-ma!

  That’s doggy doo!

  E-to chuzh so-BA-chya!

  That’s nonsense!