The Walls

by Hollie Overton

  Tears welled up. Kristy didn’t want this to bother her as much as it did. It was just some broken glass and paint, but she couldn’t shake that feeling of violation.

  “Thank you,” she whispered to Lance, and he nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. Ryan seemed unaware of the moment passing between the two of them.

  “Hey, Mom, nothing’s gonna happen to you. They’d have to get through me.” God, Kristy loved this kid.

  They returned home and Kristy heated up Pops’s takeout while Ryan recounted the evening’s events for him. Pops seemed to take the vandalism personally.

  “Why do these assholes have to go around messing with my girl? You’re just doing your job.”

  “I don’t know, Pops. But don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”

  “Damn straight. They come into my house and I’ll blow them all to bits.”

  Pops was a gun lover too. He kept a loaded pistol in his nightstand. She hated having a gun in the house, especially once Ryan came along. But Pops was proud of his right to bear arms. “Ain’t no one taking that away from me,” he liked to rail anytime gun rights activists suggested creating new legislation. But no matter how scared Kristy was, she wasn’t going to let her fear override common sense.

  “It’s not gonna come to that. It’s probably just some college kids playing around, trying their hands at being activists.”

  Kristy wasn’t sure she believed that, but it sounded reasonable and she didn’t want Pops or Ryan to worry unnecessarily. Pops finished eating and went back to his room to watch TV. An exhausted Ryan mumbled good night and headed downstairs to his room. Kristy had to wait for Lance to come get his pickup. She dreaded it but Kristy knew she had to call Gus. If he got wind of this incident from one of his buddies on the force, she’d never hear the end of it …

  “What the hell is so important you’re calling me at this hour?” Gus barked into the phone.

  “My car was vandalized tonight. They spray-painted the word ‘murderer’ on it,” she said.

  “Did you report it to the police?” Gus asked.

  “Of course I did.”

  “Then why are you calling me?”

  Kristy gritted her teeth. “That’s an excellent question. Good night, Gus.” She hung up the phone, went inside, and poured a glass of wine. She settled herself back on the porch swing, sipping her wine and trying to keep terrible thoughts from creeping in.

  It was after midnight when Lance arrived, pulling into the driveway in a Ford Focus rental car. He greeted Kristy on the porch.

  “It’s all taken care of. My buddy at the body shop said it’ll take about ten days to make the repairs. But I brought a rental for you to use. And don’t worry—he hooked me up with a good deal. It’ll cost me practically nothing.” Kristy almost burst into tears. Her insurance was expensive enough and it certainly didn’t include rental coverage.

  “I don’t know how to thank you. You went above and beyond tonight,” she said.

  “I’d do anything for you guys,” Lance replied. You guys. This wasn’t about her at all. It was about all of them. She felt foolish about all her thoughts that there might be more between them. Lance hovered near the door. Kristy didn’t want him to leave. Not yet. She glanced over at her half-empty glass of wine.

  “Want one?” she asked.

  “Got anything stronger?” Lance replied. Kristy smiled and went inside and grabbed a bottle of Wild Turkey from Pops’s private stash. She poured Lance a double and joined him back outside on the porch swing. She sat down, keeping that same respectful distance they always observed. Lance surveyed the sprawling property.

  “This place sure is beautiful.”

  “It is, isn’t it?”

  “You can tell a lot of love has gone into making it a home,” Lance said.

  Kristy appreciated that. This was the only home she had ever known. There were memories lingering in every corner and crevice: helping her mother can peaches, running through the fields after their collie Joshua, feeding livestock with Pops back when he was healthy enough to tend to the cows and horses. Money was tight, the animals long gone, and the place desperately needed updating, but no amount of disrepair could erase all the good that remained.

  “It’s okay to be shaken up. You don’t have to keep up a front for me,” Lance said softly.

  Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.

  “My entire life is about keeping up a front.”

  “It doesn’t have to be. Not here. Not with me.”

  Kristy’s heart jumped. Her stomach did cartwheels as Lance inched closer to her on the swing, his leg touching hers.

  “I don’t mean to pry, but Ryan never mentioned his father,” Lance said.

  “Haven’t heard from him since the day I called and told him that he had a newborn son.”

  “What’d he say?” Lance asked.

  “‘Can’t talk now. I’ve got a gig.’”

  “A musician?”

  Kristy winced, remembering that night she met Ben at Sam Houston State, how she went back to his dorm room, how he kept playing that same damn Goo Goo Dolls song over and over again. God, she despised that song.

  “Never trust a musician, right? But I was young. Went to a frat party and got a little too drunk on trash-can punch. Two months later, I’m vomiting my guts out in chemistry lab. The rest is history. I’ve kept tabs on him. He makes a living touring, playing backup guitar for bands you’ve never heard of. I keep waiting for Ryan to ask me about him, to want to meet him, but he hasn’t shown any interest.”

  “He’s got you. He doesn’t need that piece of shit,” Lance said harshly. He sighed. “Excuse my language, but my mama walked out on us. I just never understood how anyone could do that to their child.”

  Kristy wasn’t sure why—maybe it was something in Lance’s tone, or the closeness or the wine or the stress of the evening—but a sob exploded from her. Lance wrapped his arms around Kristy, gently rocking them both back and forth on the swing.

  “Shhh … it’s okay, darlin’.”

  She sat there for what felt like ages, content in his arms, until her sobs finally subsided.

  “You’ve got a real hard job, plus all the responsibility of looking after Pops and Ryan. I can’t imagine it being easy.”

  His voice was soft and soothing. Kristy told herself she should pull away, that she didn’t want to get hurt or upset Ryan, but instead she leaned into Lance.

  “I know whoever did this has their reasons, but I can’t help think they might be right,” Kristy said.

  “You’re not a murderer. You’re just doing your job,” Lance replied.

  Kristy shrugged. “Ryan thinks what I do is wrong.”

  “Wait ’til he’s older and life’s bumped and bruised him a bit. He’ll feel different about a lot of things.”

  “So you believe in capital punishment?”

  Lance shook his head.

  “Not on principle. It’s not even about the inmates. It’s about us as a society judging and condemning them. We should be better than they are. But, darlin’, you’re just doing a job. You’re putting food on your table, supporting your family. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

  Kristy thought about that, thought about why she even took this job all these years ago, and why she was still there when she hated it so damn much.

  “I just don’t know what to do, Lance. I’m just … I’m stuck.”

  “You’ve got a great kid, and kids don’t turn out great without proper guidance. You’re a smart, driven, beautiful woman with loads of talent. Darlin’, you’re only stuck if you think you are,” Lance said softly.

  She glanced over, his green eyes boring into her. Without thinking, Kristy leaned in and kissed him. His breath was warm and inviting. He tasted of whiskey and peppermint. He kissed her softly at first, and then it gradually intensified, his hands roaming over her body, searching. Kristy allowed herself to get lost for a moment, her stomach lurching like she was at the top of the highest rolle
r coaster and plummeting downward. She hadn’t experienced a kiss like this in … maybe ever. But this wasn’t about her. Lance was Ryan’s friend and mentor. He was also Kristy’s friend; someone she had grown to count on. She’d already gone down this path with Mac. Kristy pulled away, trying to regain her composure. She smoothed her hair and stood up.

  “I’m sorry, Lance. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t …”

  Kristy stared down at the ground, her face flushed from the wine and that damn kiss. Damn it, why had she kissed him? He wasn’t saying anything. She’d embarrassed herself by being too forward and now she had to fix things.

  “We’re friends, Lance. I don’t want to ruin that and I’m sure you don’t either,” Kristy said.

  Lance stood up, his expression unreadable in the shadows.

  “Right. Of course,” he said. “I’d better get going. Be sure and lock up. I’ll check on y’all tomorrow.”

  Kristy watched as Lance climbed into his pickup and drove away. She had done the right thing, but Lance still seemed upset. Was it possible that he wanted their relationship to go deeper than friendship? If so, why hadn’t he said something? Lance didn’t seem like the type to hold things back. Maybe he was just disappointed that now she had put him in that position, but she was simply too overwhelmed and flustered to think clearly. She collapsed into bed, her dreams haunted by masked men chasing her, carrying pistols, chanting “murderer” over and over again. After a sleepless night, Kristy dragged herself out of bed. At breakfast, Ryan’s eyes had giant dark circles as well. He wasn’t happy to hear that Kristy still planned on going to work.

  “What if someone tries to hurt you?” Ryan asked.

  “I’m surrounded by guards with rifles. Work is the safest place for me.”

  Whenever Ryan didn’t get his way, he shut down completely, wouldn’t say a word. It was a trait he’d picked up from Pops and it drove Kristy crazy. They drove to school, both of them tense and silent, Ryan not even bothering to say good-bye when they arrived, just slamming the car door instead.

  At work, somehow, someone had gotten a tip about the incident at Chili’s and reporters were calling, demanding answers.

  “What the hell is going on?” she asked Carmen when she slipped into her office.

  “Hey, you okay? I was so worried.”

  “I’m fine. A little rattled, but I’ll live.”

  “Well, then I’m sure you’ll love hearing that Gus is on the warpath. Says this is bad for the office to be dealing with this kind of thing.”

  “Oh, isn’t that nice. I’m glad to hear he’s concerned for my well-being,” Kristy said.

  Carmen snorted. “Yeah right.”

  Kristy raced over to Gus’s office. She understood why he would be upset. As public information officers, they were in control, spinning the story to their advantage. Once Kristy became the story, the reporters could ask anything they wanted.

  “Gus, you wanted to see me?” she said.

  “Yeah, make this go away. I’ve got my bosses calling and asking me what happened. They’re so worked up they’re insisting on providing you with police protection.”

  “I don’t need—” Kristy said, but Gus interrupted.

  “That’s what I said. The warden disagreed. He’s asked that you have officers stationed outside your residence and anywhere you go for the next few days until we can assess any potential threats. I’ll be calling a press conference to get ahead of the story.”

  She waited for him to offer his apologies or express concern, but Gus was done and Kristy was dismissed. Later that afternoon, she stood behind Gus like the wronged woman in a police drama, head held high, face frozen in a concerned expression.

  “All of us in the public information office take our jobs seriously. We will not be cowed by acts of vandalism or threats to our lives and liberty. We will do everything in our power to track down these cowards. I’d like to ask the public, if you have any knowledge about the individual that committed this act, I hope you will report it,” Gus said.

  The reporters shouted out questions about the possible motives, if it was because of the growing anger over the death penalty, but Kristy was under orders not to speak. She had no choice but to follow Gus out of the pressroom. She was certain she’d be dodging questions for the next week. Still on edge, Kristy found Carmen waiting in her office.

  “So that went well.”

  They didn’t even have time to gossip about what had happened before Gus stormed in. She expected him to bitch about the press conference, but he was on a different tangent now.

  “We’ll talk to every single asshole on death row until we find out who they put up to this,” he said.

  Kristy looked at Carmen, who was rolling her eyes.

  “Gus, there’s zero evidence that a death row inmate was responsible for this. You have no reason to accuse them of anything. We’d be violating their civil rights.”

  “Fuck their rights,” Gus snorted, before storming out.

  “Think Gus is going to look up civil rights on Google?” Kristy joked.

  Carmen laughed. “Once he learns how to actually use Google, I’m sure he will.”

  Though she’d initially been reluctant about the idea of police parked outside her house, Kristy found herself comforted by their presence. All that mattered was that her home and family were protected. She tried to put aside her worries, tried go about her week, but a dark cloud remained. She was in the middle of a visit with Clifton when he stopped midsentence.

  “They find the person responsible for harassing you yet?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

  Kristy was startled, surprised that he’d heard about the incident.

  “Wow. News travels fast.”

  “Well, we’re all pretty bored and the guards like to gossip. Must have been a real shock seeing something like that.”

  It wasn’t standard to converse with inmates about personal issues, but Kristy couldn’t help herself.

  “It’s been bothering me all week, Clifton. I’ve always believed I was a good person …”

  He held up his hand, waving away her comment.

  “You still are. Don’t let someone like that change the way you see yourself. It’s the same way with me. I don’t care how many people call me baby killer, I know the truth. And so do you. You’re just doing your job,” he said.

  “I guess not everyone sees it like that.”

  “Well, I’ll be putting you at the top of my prayer list, Ms. Tucker. You stay safe out there.”

  Kristy put on a brave face. That’s what she had to do. At home, the patrol cars remained parked out front, the officers offering friendly waves and thank-yous when she brought them leftover supper. Lance hadn’t been by the house since their kiss. She’d asked Ryan and he’d shrugged. “Lance said work’s been crazy. He’s not sure when he’ll have time to come over.” Kristy struggled to hide her disappointment. She thought about calling him but his silence spoke volumes. He regretted the kiss as well. As the days and then a week passed, there were still no leads on the vandals. The police offered their apologies but they had limited resources, and the officers moved on to more pressing matters.

  Life returned to normal or as close to normal as Kristy’s life ever was, except there was a giant, gaping Lance-sized hole in it. Ryan said Lance was in Austin for a real estate conference. She wanted to ask how long the conference would last, when Lance was planning on coming by again, but she refrained. The last thing she wanted was for Ryan to know that she’d screwed up things with Lance.

  She’d almost convinced herself that it was okay, that she didn’t care if he never came back. But the following week when she came home late from work, she found Pops, Ryan, and Lance finishing dinner. Her heart nearly stopped. She grabbed a plate and joined them, listening to the chatter around her, but Lance seemed uneasy, never once making eye contact with her. When the meal was over, Lance stood up.

  “I think I’ll get going,” Lance said. “Kristy, you w
ant to walk me out?”

  “Sure,” Kristy said, a nervous tremor in her voice. She shot a look over at Ryan and Pops, worried they had noticed, but they were already saying good-bye as they headed off to their respective rooms. Kristy and Lance stood on the porch, the single light bulb casting a shadow on Lance’s stoic features.

  “I’m afraid I can’t come around anymore,” Lance said.

  “What? Please don’t say that. We love having you here. I’m sorry about the kiss. I tried to tell you that before. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

  “That’s the problem. I’ve got a lot of friends, Kristy. I’ve been coming around here for months. At first, it was just about Ryan, but then all I wanted was to be near you. I figured after enough time had passed, I’d figure you out, but you’re a real closed book. I was just about to throw in the towel and then you kissed me and I thought, maybe she feels the same way I do. But then you started going on about us just being friends and, darlin’, that just isn’t enough. And that’s what you want, right?”

  Kristy wanted to scream, No! That’s not what I want. But she was afraid … of losing control, of getting her heart broken, or breaking Ryan’s heart. At least that’s what she’d always told herself. It made it easier not to take risks, to keep herself distanced from people. Lance anxiously shifted from one leg to the other. He always seemed so confident and in control, but not tonight. She saw he was on edge, eyes heavy, laugh lines and frown lines appearing even more prominent, as if he hadn’t been sleeping well either. Lance sighed.

  “I’ve done my share of screwing around. That’s not what I’m looking for. I want you. You’re beautiful and smart and kind and a wonderful mother. But you’ve got a full life and you’re clearly not looking for anything right now. Nothing wrong with that. I’m not looking to mess anything up for you. I’ll still be there for Ryan. He’s a good kid and I won’t give up on him. I’ll stop in and visit with Pops from time to time. But what we’re doing now, playing pretend, I can’t do that anymore.”