Mission: Earth Doomed Planet

by Ron L. Hubbard

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  "Wait, Your Majesty. It doesn't end there. This Hisst started plaguing me for more data about that planet and the next thing I knew, a section had been created for it, Section 451 Exterior Division Intelligence." "You mean 'Apparatus,'" said Mortiiy. "No, Your Majesty. It wasn't called the Apparatus then. This Lombar Hisst, as a young officer, seemed to gain an awful lot of influence very fast. He'd plague me for data on Blito-P3 and then he'd go to the then Chief of Intelligence or over his head to the Lord of the Exterior and Hisst would put it out as his own ideas and they'd institute it. They promoted him right and left. It was after he got the files on the various intelligence agencies on Blito-P3 that he got the name of our organization changed to the Coordinated Information Apparatus. "Long before he was Chief of the Apparatus, Hisst had put here the provocation techniques of the Russian KGB: it's a system of provoking people to commit crimes so you can arrest them. From the pattern of an organization known as the Schutzstaffel, in Germany, developed by a man named Hitler, we began to recruit criminals from the prisons to serve in the Apparatus. Our Death Battalions also come from there. From the CIA in the United States, the Apparatus got the idea of having an independent military force that would fight wars without the approval of the government. From the FBI of that same country, Lombar obtained the pattern they use of ruling the whole land by blackmailing legislative representatives and keeping those bodies in a state of terror by manufacturing crimes that never happened-called Abscams. We–" "Hold it," said Mortiiy. "You're drowning me with names I never heard of." "Those are all from Blito-P3," said Bawtch. "Locally called Earth. That's where we got the pattern of our Apparatus from." A snarl went through the hall. Madison's hopes surged. Maybe he could capitalize on this sudden unpopularity of Earth. Maybe he could image Heller as the protector of that planet: Controversy was what he needed now. He said swiftly into the commentator mike, "The outlaw Heller for the whole past year has had his lair on the planet Earth." Heller, oblivious of the statements Madison was making and, indeed, completely unaware that Madison, behind his Homeview visor, was even in the hall, rapped his gun butt three times for order so Mortiiy could continue. "So Hisst," said Mortiiy, "was interested in the planet Earth so he could create the abomination called the Apparatus. I-" "No, Your Majesty," said Bawtch, "that wasn't why Hisst was interested in that planet. It was the history of a family dynasty named the Rockecenters. They sprang up from a man who was a servant-raper about a century ago. The fellow sold a poison called crude oil for a cancer cure. He was a commoner. He brought up his sons to be thieves and one of them made a fortune out of this crude oil and then, by manipulating it and banks and taking over and using Earth intelligence services, he made himself and his generations that followed virtual emperors of the planet. Hisst was fascinated. He had never imagined before that it could be done. He himself was a commoner from the gutters of Slum City and he dreamed that if he followed this pattern, he could become Emperor here. And he did, even if very briefly." "You say all this happened," said Mortiiy, "on the planet Earth? Incredible! What a weird place that must be!" Madison hastily said into the commentary mike, "The outlaw Heller furthered his outlaw career on Earth by calling himself Rockecenter. This definitely proves his outlaw connections." Mortiiy nodded to Bawtch, signifying he could move away from the table or get back to work. "Now that we know where the Apparatus came from, I am open to a vote to abolish it forever and prohibit use of these criminal patterns of intelligence from Blito-P3." The assent vote was deafening. As Joy City cut back to crowds in cities massed in squares, watching or getting news of this conference, the Homeview monitors on the walls almost split apart with roars. Madison said into the commentary mike, "The outlaw Heller studied Earth intelligence and was an expert in it. He advocates it thoroughly. In no small way, it contributed to his rise as an interplanetary outlaw." He was feeling very hopeful now. He was building Controversy. He was getting Coverage. His Confidence was rising.

  CHAPTER 8

  The palsied Grand Council clerk they had dug up was lagging in his transcript. Heller was keeping his own notes in his engineering log. He now leaned over to Mortiiy and whispered. "Oh, yes!" said Mortiiy. And then in a louder voice, "We must now go about the business of choosing a new Grand Council." A general said, "Don't use the ones we had. Those Lords became a bunch of drug addicts." An admiral said, "Before you can guarantee the new one won't succumb, I make a motion that we prohibit drugs" Mortiiy said, "Do any of you know anything about drugs?" The admiral in charge of medicine said, "We never used them in the Confederacy. We used various gases for surgery and such. From what I've seen of drugs, they're poison." "We don't have or grow or manufacture them on Voltar," said the admiral in charge of contraband and space patrols. "The idea of drugs here originated with Lombar Hisst. We have an order not to stop any such cargos. It originated with Lombar Hisst." "Well, where did they come from?" said Mortiiy. "The consoles on the table are working now," said Bis. "I'm punching in the Fleet Intelligence analysis of it and also data on the use of drugs from the Apparatus files." The separate consoles in front of the seats were flickering and the huge one which occupied the center of the immense conference table lit up. Mortiiy, from the higher level, stared down at it. He read it. "That's impossible!" he said. "A whole planet going crazy with drugs?" "That's the analysis, Your Majesty," said Bis. "They take them morning, noon and night. They feed them to the schoolchildren, the workmen and the aged. They even fight their wars with soldiers drugged to the hilt." "That's Blito-P3 again!" said Mortiiy. "It was Hisst's secret weapon against Voltar," said Bawtch, crawling out from under the table. "That was why he was mounting that premature invasion of Earth. To get more drugs so he could cave the Confederacy population in." "It ought to be invaded," snarled Mortiiy. "But not to get more drugs." Heller punched a series of buttons under the edge of the table. The display changed. "Your Majesty," he said, "there is already a Grand Council order criminalizing drug production on Voltar. I thought I better check. Here it is." "Then that's done," said Mortiiy. "No, Your Majesty. That's the trouble. It gave Hisst a monopoly. These laws prohibiting drugs exist also on Blito-P3. They are there to protect the real purveyors from competition and thus the governments help them to get wealthy. The answer is to decriminalize and to ignore drugs: they don't profit people then and nobody is interested." "You seem to know something about this," said Mortiiy. "Well, a little bit," said Heller. "Drugs are a rotten business. But when you pass a law against them they become a profitable business." "You mean Blito-P3 has laws against drugs and is loaded with them?" "That's the way they work it," said Heller. "The outlaw Heller," said Madison into the commentator mike, "is being careful to protect his drug associates." "That planet is crazy," said Mortiiy. "This law here, Your Majesty, was proposed and passed by Hisst." That was enough. They wiped it from the books. "Let's get back to where we started," said Mortiiy. "We were trying to get a new Grand Council." Some notable at the back of the hall yelled, "The Lords may have been on drugs, but several had sons. Why not appoint the sons." There was a mutter of approval in the hall. Bis leaned over to his admiral senior and that worthy said, "Gentlemen, Your Majesty, I have bad news for you there. Without a single exception, the sons of Lords here have become catamites." "WHAT?" said Mortiiy. "Where did that come from?''' "Your Majesty," said the admiral, "we regret to tell you they were suborned by a very corrupt and perverted young girl who arrived here a few months ago and who, without doubt, should be executed for actually teaching sexual irregularities. I understand they are common on her home planet. She is an Earth girl. She comes from Blito-P3." "THAT planet again!" said Mortiiy. "First freaks, then corrupting governments with intelligence, then drugs and now catamites!" A notable was waving his arms from the back of the crowd. "Your Majesty!" The man was making such a fuss that Mortiiy impatiently signalled for him to come forward to the table. Heller had to rap several times to quiet the crowd so that the man could be heard. "Your Majesty!" the fellow said, "I am Noble Arthrite Stuffy, the p
ublisher of the Daily Speaker. I am here at the behest of dozens of publishers. You just mentioned freaks. I've been trying to get your attention ever since the name of Crobe came up. He is evidently a condemned criminal from Voltar that went away and returned with some false sciences called psychology and psychiatry. I came as soon as we knew there would be an Officers' Conference. We want a law passed instantly to forbid the promulgation or use of these two subjects." "Why?" said Mortiiy. "Your Majesty, those two subjects claim that sex is the basis for all motivation." "That's nonsense," said Mortiiy. "But it's just some crackpot idea." "No, it isn't, Your Majesty," said Noble Arthrite Stuffy. "Those subjects are a pack of falsities and lies that are used to undermine the population, corrupt them and hold in power vicious governments run by insane men! Psychiatry and psychology played their role in bringing about the chaos we have just been through. Abolish them quick!" "That's quite a charge," said Mortiiy. "I've never heard of these subjects. Where did they come from?" "Blito-P3!" said Noble Arthrite Stuffy. "The planet Earth." "WHAT? That planet again?" roared Mortiiy. "Yes, Your Majesty. The governments there use these subjects all the time. That's why their population is so caved in. These were the subjects that began pushing drugs there." "Can you give me some example of how they helped overthrow the government here?" said Mortiiy. "I'd rather not tell you in public, Your Majesty. It's something very personal that we publishers have found out. If you don't want more drugs, please pass this law!" The Countess Krak had entered the hall from a rear door. She had walked up the steps behind the dais and whispered in Mortiiy's ear, "You told me to report if your father showed any change. He told me to wish you luck and then went peacefully to sleep with a smile on his face. He seems very happy." "Thank you," Mortiiy whispered back. Then, as a sudden afterthought, he said, "You were on Earth for a while. Do you know anything about subjects called psychology and psychiatry?" "Oh, yes, Your Majesty," Krak whispered back. "They're awful. The governments there use them to maim and kill and drive people insane when they don't like somebody. They teach all the schoolchildren they're only animals so they'll act like animals." "That's good enough for me," Mortiiy whispered back. "Sit down back of your man there. You'll be interested in this." Then more loudly he said, "I move that we proclaim psychology and psychiatry, in teaching and in practice, against the law." There was a growl of assent and it was done. "Let's get out of here," said Flick to Madison. "They can't legislate apinst the truth that men are just rotten animals. Don't worry. I've got this under control. I'll have them hunting Heller again before you know it." He gave a signal to the director to get a close shot of Krak. He said into the commentator mike, "I hope you noticed, folks, that the gun moll of the outlaw Heller is working her wiles on the Emperor. Is there scandal in the wind? Or is this just a ploy by Heller to prepare the way to kidnap Mortiiy? Time will tell. Watch your Home-view and stay tuned!" Little did Madison know that he. was about to precipitate the wipeout of the planet Earth!

  PART EIGHTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER 1

  Emperor Mortiiy, on the dais, looked out across the turbulent Grand Council hall. Heller, on the dais beside him, seeing that he was about to speak, hit the table with his handgun butt for quiet. "Thank you, Noble Stuffy, for your assistance in this matter. Now____________________

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  "Oh, Your Majesty!" cried Noble Stuffy. "That is not why we're here." There was a surge behind him as half a dozen publishers moved forward to stand near his chair, a gesture to back him up. "Noble Stuffy," said Mortiiy, "the only reason we, the Emperor, are attending this meeting, which fact, you will admit, is unusual, is to get to the bottom of these recent disturbances. If you have requests of another nature, I suggest that you wait until a proper Grand Council is formed____________________

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  "Oh, Your Majesty!" cried Noble Stuffy. "What I wish you to institute has EVERYTHING to do with the recent riots. We want you to appoint a Royal Censor." "A WHAT?" cried Mortiiy, startled. "I never thought I would see the day when newspapers would tolerate being told what they could or could not print. Incredible!" "Well, yes, Your Majesty," said Noble Stuffy, clinging stubbornly to the position he had been momentarily granted at the table. "We publishers would form a committee under him and we would give him the code he would enforce. You see, Your Majesty, newspapers have never before been forced into competition for circulation. Each paper had its own type of reader and sphere of interest, Homeview simply quoted us: we were quite happy and profitable. But with the introduction of yellow journalism, each paper finds itself-" "Yellow journalism?" said Mortiiy. "What's that?" "Super sensationalism," said Noble Stuffy. "Since it came into practice, each paper finds itself vying with the rest to see which one can sell the most papers by telling the biggest lies." "WHAT?" cried Mortiiy, black beard bristling. His well-known shortness of temper was suddenly shorter, "Yes, Your Majesty. The situation is entirely out of our own control. Our reporters are lying, cheating, manufacturing false evidence, even our editors are whipping them on. It began even before the Gris trial. We publishers are helpless. We want a Royal Censor we can resort to when a newspaper finds that it is. being used as a tool for PR." "Now you've lost me," said Mortiiy, giving a cross gesture of dismissal. "You had better take this up____________________

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  Seeing he was losing, Noble Stuffy wailed, "But, Your Majesty, it was PR that caused the riots!" "WHAT? Is it some kind of anger bomb?" "Oh, worse. Far, far worse____________________

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  There was a battering clatter at the main entrance and voices raised. All heads turned toward it. "I don't care!" the Fleet marine captain was shouting. "Pick up those lights and get out and stay out! This hall is JAMMED! There's one Homeview crew here already!" "That's the point, you idiot!" a man in aqua-green was shouting. "Men, shove right on in!" The tan of Fleet marines and aqua-green of the newcomers went into a boil at the entrance door. In a high-pitched, reaching voice, Heller shouted, "Stand!" The Fleet marines instantly froze. One of the men in aqua-green stepped forward. "What's all this?" shouted Heller. "I'm a Homeview crew director," the man yelled back across the hall. "The manager in Joy City sent us out here posthaste, spare no air-trucks, to get some stupid idiot off the commentator channel and take over!" "Can't you settle internal squabbles," shouted Heller, "without interrupting a conference?" "This is no internal squabble!" the man at the door yelled back. He looked around the room and then walked up to a roustabout who had been in the hall and suddenly raised his visor. "Just as I thought!" he yelled. He faced the dais, "The manager has been going crazy thinking he'd misplaced a Homeview team. This isn't a Home-view team you've got in here. This is Madison and his crew!" "WHAT?" cried Heller. "Captain, GRAB THAT TEAM!" "ATTACK!" screamed Flick. Madison's crew acted instantly. They dropped equipment, snatched out knives and charged the Fleet marines. The Fleet marines acted instantly. They charged the crew. People in the hall recoiled with piercing screams. Tan and aqua-green boiled in furious tumult. Equipment and lights were falling. "PARALYZE! PARALYZE!" the Fleet marine captain was shouting above the din. The electric daggers of the Fleet marines were throwing sparks as they fended and duelled. Because they were accustomed to operating on spaceships of the Fleet where gunshots could bring catastrophe to all, they were never armed with blasters. And their electric daggers could be set at intensities lower than killing. It was an unfair advantage and Madison's crew took any profit from it they could. Knives and daggers were crossing with streams of sparking flame. Pairs were circling. At a command from Flick, Madison's crew tried a rush for the door! It was their undoing. A marine platoon had remained there, expecting just that. There was a flurry of flame and sparks. Outnumbered two to one, Madison's crew, with howls of pain, one after another were stretched out, temporarily paralyzed. The real Homeview crew in the door had been smugly taking pictures. They marched now in triumph fully into the hall and began to set up. The Fleet marines had suffered only minor casualties. They began to drag their late assailants over into a pile along the wall. "C
aptain," Heller called. "Look through those casualties and see if you can identify a man called J. Walter Madison if he's there." From behind a glaring light which was still standing in the corner, pouring its rays into the room, a man stepped out, gradually becoming visible. "If you're looking for J. Walter Madison," he said, "I'm right here. And," he said, walking forward, his visor lifted, "you are completely wrong about PR." He came to the table edge, stared at incredulously by all eyes. He looked up at Mortiiy and said, "I refuse, Your.Majesty, to stand idle and see the noble profession of PR maligned." Mortiiy stared at him. "PR," said Madison, "means, in your language, public relations. It is, Your Majesty, of infinite use to a government." His voice took on a crooning lilt. "You can mold, sculpt and create in wondrous forms the opinions of the multitude. It is not necessary even to be sensible in your government decisions when you utilize PR. You can do anything you please and, by the beautiful techniques of imagery, bring about any public opinion that you might require. You do not even have to be fair or just in trials. If you, as a governing sovereign, do not like someone, he does not even have to be guilty of a single crime: you simply manufacture news stories and try him in the press. You do not even have to bring him to court." "WHAT?" said Mortiiy, scandalized. "Indeed," said Madison, "you may well stare in astonishment. But it is true. By manipulating public opinion, you can drive the mobs and riffraff any direction you want. In fact, it was by the skilled use of the Gris trial that I was able, with PR, to bring these wonderful riots to a positive boil!" "WHAT IS THIS?" cried Mortiiy. "PR," said Madison. "The whole planet of Blito-P3 is run on it." His voice took on an almost singing tone. "PR is the gift of Earth to a waiting universe." Heller could see the embers begin to kindle behind the eyes of Mortiiy. In a low voice, Heller said, "Watch it, Madison. You'd better shut up!" Madison turned to him with an attitude of disdain. "Shut up? It's a very good thing I did NOT shut up. Heller-Wister, I made you what you are today! Without PR and my genius at using it, you would be shivering, unknown in some dark, dank cave. What are you really? A nobody, a nothing!" Mortiiy was on his feet. His face was contorted with rage. "Why, you infernal snot!" he stormed at Madison. "How dare you insult one of the bravest officers that ever lived! You're a snivelling coward in the bargain! You know very well an officer is forbidden to duel in his monarch's presence. Well, I will take care of that!" And he drew his hand blastgun to shoot! Madison looked at the gun and went white. He had not known anything about any such custom. He had been carried away. Now it appeared he would be carried away feet first. With horror he watched the thumb throwing off the safety lever! Mortiiy suddenly checked himself. "No," he said. "Those days are over. I am Emperor now. I must reform." Although he put the handgun back in his belt holster, he did not look very reformed. He was still blazing angry. He was still standing. Mortiiy glared at Madison. His space-deck voice roared out. "At LAST we've gotten to the bottom of it!" The snarling rage struck fear into the tense hall. "A thing called PR mangles a million people in the streets, with tens of billions of property damage! A P. T. Barnum gives us abominable freaks! A CIA/KGB gives us a rotten, foul organization called the Apparatus! Two insane fake 'sciences' named psychology and psychiatry lying to the entire population! Drugs shatter the lives of whole cities and subvert the government! My two poor brothers dead, my father ruined in health and myself consigned to five years of Hells! And where did all this come from?" He brought his fist down on the board. "A planet called Blito-P3, Earth! WE HAVE BEEN INVADED!" Mortiiy straightened up. His face was very grim. But he had regained his self-control. He spoke now with kingly determination. "I know now why things went wrong with Voltar and I know where the disease came from. Primitive, decadent or decayed civilizations can be very dangerous to associate with. It can be like putting a patient with a contagious illness into a roomful of healthy people. A higher strata of culture can be pulled down and fouled by such association. We have seen these before in our history and we are far from perfect. "But never in my whole career, which has contained extensive travels, have I ever in my life heard of such a putrid and degenerate society as that of Blito-P3, Earth!" He stood for a moment. His eyes wandered to the armorial bearings and portrait of his father which still hung against the far wall. Inset below it were paintings of his two brothers, now dead. His eyes misted for a moment and then he turned suddenly to Heller. "I never want to hear of Blito-P3 again! NEVER!" He drew a long breath. "You are permanent Viceregal Chairman, Lord Heller. As Emperor, I am not, by custom, supposed to be here." Heller could see that Mortiiy was actually crying and seeking to hide it as best he could. "As Crown," he continued, controlling his voice with difficulty, "complete this conference. I will compose, at my leisure, lists of potential new Lords and we can use them to form a government." He was bending over to mask the emotional stress he was under. He took six blank' sheets of proclamation paper. He rapidly signed his name across the bottoms. He took the Royal seal from his pocket and pressed it over the signatures. He sent the six sheets skidding sideways to Heller. "Use one of those blank orders," said Mortiiy, "to dispose of Blito-P3, Earth, any way you see fit!" He turned away to the back of the dais. He was obviously leaving and the whole hall was taken by surprise. They stood suddenly in a belated effort to bow. But Mortiiy wasn't looking at them. He walked down the back steps of the dais. When he was out of their sight he brushed at his eyes with the back of his hand. The Countess Krak slipped down to his side and took his arm and led him away, for it was obvious to her that he was now blinded with tears and couldn't see where he was going. He had loved his brothers very dearly. And knowing now, at last, what really had caused their deaths had brought the fact home.