by Clare Tanner
After a few enquiries, we find the hospice. It is bright and cheerful, but its very existence is heartbreaking to me. The members of staff are friendly and kind, but a little resistant.
“Are you family, because he has only just arrived, and he is quite weak.”
“I’m not family, but I am a very close friend,” I say. “I am sure that he will want to see me.”
“Well, pop your head round the door and see, but please don’t over tire him.”
The door is open, and I tentatively look in. I make sure that I have a big grin on my face.
Carl is pale and tired. How on earth could I have been so self-absorbed not to have noticed before? But he turns towards me and gives me a smile of the purest joy.
“Joanna. How wonderful to see you again!”
“Carl.” I take his hand. I am still smiling. “It’s my turn now.”
* * *
I know now that the hopes which I had been harbouring for a future with Carl can only ever be fantasies. I know that I will never again meet a human being as pure and unselfish as him. But I will spend what time is left to us with him, and, afterwards, come what may, I will look at life with a smile on my face, in his memory.
Today’s the day I grew up.
~ ~ ~
Clare Tanner is the author of The Tranquillity Project, a novel set in the near future.
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