Soul Mates: Sacrifice

by Jourdan Lane

  I tried to lift my arm, but only managed to move my fingers. "What are you doing, Nikolas?"

  "What's the matter? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

  "Yes."

  "Because you can't move? Can't defend yourself from the big, bad wolf?"

  I swallowed hard. "I know you won't hurt me."

  "Permanently? No." He bent and licked at the blood on my throat. "I value you – and my life – too much for that."

  "What do you want, Nikolas?"

  "You want me to lie to you?"

  "I hate being lied to."

  "You might want me to lie; just this once."

  He licked up the side of my face with the flat of his tongue and I had to fight to stifle a moan. I turned my head, just as he did, and I licked at the corner of his mouth, chasing a drop of blood.

  Lucien's blood was doing what I thought it would. The muscles in my arms and legs twitched, my entire body going hot. Part of me wanted to let this go, to see where it'd lead. The smarter part of me realized that if I gave him this now, I would always be an easy target for him and his games.

  I curled my hands into fists, planting my feet on the bed. As Nikolas nipped at my throat, I slid my hands between us, palms against his chest. There was a moment of indecision in his eyes as I moved and I took the opportunity to push him off me. He growled and snarled and attempted to roll off the bed.

  The growl and snarl pissed me off. Just as he stood, I lunged at his back, knocking him to the floor. He started to fight back, but I straddled him and grasped the back of his neck and locked my arm. I shoved him face-first into the floor.

  "There are many things that I will consider being: a friend, a confidant, a casual fuck when the urge strikes—but the one thing I will not be is your fucking toy. You will treat me with the same respect you show for Lucien, or at the very least, as a friend who once put everything on the line for your miserable fucking hide, or we are going to have a very, very big problem."

  "Jesus, princess! You don't have to get all bent out of shape."

  "Here's the thing: I don't think you understand the dynamics of our relationship just yet." I shifted, putting more weight into my grip at his neck. "Was I wrong about you, Nikolas? Are you someone else I have to watch my back around?"

  "You bet."

  "Are you trying to piss me off'?"

  "Might as well, princess. It'd happen eventually anyway." Some of the tension went out of him. "I mean, come on, it's only a matter of time before I'm out of this little circle of yours."

  "What the hell do you mean by that?"

  "Nothing."

  "Nothing and fuck me, right?"

  "Pretty much."

  "I don't understand you, Nikolas. You try to act as if you're the biggest, toughest thing there is." I bent to whisper in his ear. "But all you want is to be loved and accepted for who and what you are."

  "You don't—!" He struggled, his words sounding desperate. "Get off me!"

  "Scares the fuck out of you, doesn't it?" I flicked my tongue along his ear. "Wanting it so much, scared of what'll happen when you actually get it, then terrified you'll lose it."

  "You don't understand."

  "What don't I understand?"

  "I don't even understand," he whispered. "Look, just let me up and I'll go."

  I moved off him and lay close by his side. I'd thought he'd have been up and out of the room as soon as he was free of me, but he just lay there, eyes closed. I watched him for a few minutes before rolling against him, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder.

  "Talk to me. I promise you—no judgments."

  When he shook his head and made no attempt to answer, I sighed and started to sit up. He grabbed my wrist, holding tight.

  "You make me feel…"

  "Feel what?" I turned and looked at him.

  "Just feel." His eyes met mine, sad, confused. "It scares me. To not be in control. To not know why things are this way between us."

  "What do you think is between us?"

  "I don't know."

  I sighed and placed a hand over his on my wrist. "Maybe a better question is: what do you want to be between us?"

  He looked away, staring hard at the floor. "This would be so much easier if it was just about sex."

  "But it's not?"

  He shook his head.

  It didn't look like I was going to get too much more out of him, willingly, at least. The fact that he'd talked this much was a miracle. But I was afraid of just leaving this hanging between us.

  I scooted close and tucked a long, strand of candy-apple red hair behind his ear. "Whatever this is, Nikolas, I want to work it out with you."

  "Why?" He made a wide gesture that I didn't understand. "Why not just toss me out of here like I know you want to."

  "Last thing I'd ever do is toss you out," I whispered as I leaned close. When my lips touched the corner of his mouth, his breath caught. "Want you to know that I'm here, okay? Whenever you're ready to work this out, all you have to do is say the word."

  His breath rushed out of him and he caught me in a kiss that was totally chaste and full of wild, untapped emotion. My hands framed his face and I pushed him back. "I love you, Nikolas. Love you for—"

  "No!" He stumbled back away from me as if I'd hit him, eyes wide and wild. "I… I have to…!"

  I watched in a mix of horror and shock as he scrambled away from me and threw open the door. It slammed behind him with a loud crack and I stared at the door, expecting it to break in half.

  A roar filled the corridor and I literally felt the moment he shifted. A loud commotion followed, and then claws scraped and screeched along the marble floor. I went to the door, opening it before peering cautiously out into the hallway. Paintings lay on the floor, chairs were overturned. A long line of claw marks marred the otherwise perfect wall, the white of the sheetrock stark against the rich burgundy walls.

  For a long while I stood in the doorway, dumbfounded, wondering what in hell I'd said or done to warrant this much anger. When I realized that he wasn't coming back any time soon, I shook my head and shut the door. This was not good.

  Nikolas. Pissed off and fully shifted.

  I glanced at the clock.

  At ten in the morning.

  * * *

  I tried to sleep. From curling around pillows, to curling around Lucien—none of it worked. I tossed and turned, my thoughts completely scattered. Several conversations over the course of the night had left me worrying. So much was happening at one time that I wished like hell everything could be put on pause while I sorted through it all. The anxiety was adding up and with it came a giant knot in my stomach.

  The file Daniel had given me earlier sat ominously on the bedside table. With nothing else to do, I crawled over and retrieved it. I lay back down beside Lucien and pulled the comforter up high, trying to get warm.

  About a quarter of the way through the file, I realized that the benefits gained when serving on the Council were just too numerous to list. The monetary compensation per month was more than I'd made in ten years of bartending. There were private jets, armed guards around the clock, and even travel opportunities for the member, a companion, and their entourage.

  If one wanted to go on a trip and was also master of the coven, the Council would provide a master-in-absentia to watch over the coven until the Council member/master could return. It applied to spouses and/or companions, too.

  I lay back, thinking of all of the travel books I'd read in my time here. How cool would it be to actually visit some of those places? To stand on the grounds where Lucien had led his men. To see where he was from.

  Of course, this wasn't a decision that could be made based solely on the vacations it could get us. But I had to admit, the privileges were looking pretty damned good so far. In fact, too good.

  I'd yet to see anything that would make me think twice about joining.

  I flipped through the book, ignoring benefit after benefit. There had to be something. And like most pl
aces, I figured that the disadvantages would be listed last—and in tiny, mostly unreadable print.

  Closer to the end of the file, I found what I was looking for.

  In joining the Council, they required that you give them at least fifty years of service. In those fifty years, there was no out. Once in, the only way out was by death. After the first set of fifty years was over, they didn't just let you go either. They negotiated for another fifty.

  Fifty years.

  What was that to an immortal being?

  My cell phone vibrated on the table next to the bed, working its way toward the edge. I grabbed the phone just before it rattled its way onto the floor.

  "Hello?"

  "Why are you whispering?"

  Sabaan.

  "Lucien's sleeping." I glanced at the clock, then at Lucien. If yesterday was anything to go by, he was sleeping more than he was dead to the world. I quietly got off the bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door. "How are you, Sabaan?"

  "Tired." The line went silent for a moment. "I need to see you."

  "I'm not sure when I'll be able to get away. There's a lot going on right—"

  "I'll come to you. It's important."

  I leaned against the counter, frowning when I saw my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and had dark purple smudges beneath them as if I'd been wearing makeup. My skin was paler than it had ever been, making my hair look almost black as it graced my shoulders.

  "Peter? You still there?"

  "Yeah, I'm sorry." I turned away from the mirror and leaned against the wall. "What's so important again?"

  "I'd rather not talk about it over the phone," he said.

  "Can it wait 'til tomorrow? The next day?"

  "No."

  "Sabaan…" I huffed into the phone. "You'll come here?"

  "Yep, don't go anywhere."

  The line went dead and I flipped my phone closed, shaking my head. I set it on the counter and ambled to the toilet. As I shook off and flushed, the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. The feeling was similar to the ones I'd had before when I thought someone was watching me, but subtly different.

  I turned to go to the sink, but Sabaan stood right in my path. I jumped and might have yelled had he not plastered his hand over my mouth.

  "Shh, don't wake Lucien yet."

  I pushed his hand away, glaring. "Goddamnit, Sabaan! How the fuck did you get in here?"

  He raised a brow. "Nikolas didn't tell you?"

  "Tell me what?"

  The air shimmered around him and he disappeared. I covered my face with my hands, fingertips rubbing my eyes, almost convinced that I was in some weird ass fucking dream. Sabaan reappeared a few seconds later, a smile on his face.

  "No, pretty. Not a dream."

  Silver and I were going to have to talk about this. Teleporting demons had not been on my list of important things to worry about when we'd discussed security. Not that I was worried about Sabaan, but I was sure he wasn't the only one out there. I was beginning to think there wasn't a place that was safe from every supernatural being out there.

  "What do you want?"

  "Is that any way to greet me? Come on, Peter." He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. "Act like you like me just a little."

  "I do like you." I hugged him back, shaking my head. "Your timing just sucks."

  "Well… Nothing I can do about that." He pushed me back and his smile disappeared. "This can't wait. Put on a robe and we'll go talk."

  I grabbed my robe off the hook before I opened the bathroom door, slipping it on as I walked. Sabaan was right on my heels as I opened the bedroom door leading out into the hall. I contemplated going into Xander's room, but decided against it considering the argument we'd had.

  "What happened here?" Sabaan looked around, clearly concerned. "Someone was obviously… pissed."

  "Yeah." I walked ahead of him a little, running my finger along a ruined section of wall. "Whatever I said or did—it didn't set well."

  Sabaan placed a warm hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure it'll work out."

  I nodded and inclined my head. "Library would be the best place to go, I guess. That part of the house is locked down during the day."

  "Sunlight doesn't bother me too much."

  "It bothers me," I said.

  We continued on to the library, but it seemed to take forever. It was as if exhaustion was finally setting in and my lack of sleep was beginning to become an issue. By the time we got to the library, I was shivering. Sabaan stopped just inside the doorway, but I went to the fireplace and knelt in front of it.

  There was already a stack of logs on the rack, so I opened the flue. I came up short on what to do next. I'd never had the need to light a fire myself before. Sabaan knelt beside me, one hand at my back.

  "You okay?"

  "Just cold and want a fire. I'm a little lost."

  "Here, let me." He gestured to the fireplace and in seconds a fire was crackling and burning. "Can I grab you a blanket?"

  There were several draped over one of the couches, but I was in no hurry to move away from the fire. "Please?"

  He did even better than that; instead of a blanket, he brought over several pillows and blankets. After I got settled, Sabaan sat beside me. I looked up at him.

  "So what are you so desperate to talk to me about?"

  "When Lucien was missing, I found some files on you in the Council's computers. For some tests. Do you remember that?"

  "I already know what the tests mean, Sabaan. Doc and Daniel are here. I met with them shortly before dawn."

  "So you know that your time is short?"

  I nodded.

  "When is Lucien going to transition you?"

  "When the time is right." I shrugged. "And it's not guaranteed that he'll even be able to."

  Sabaan frowned. "You haven't told him yet, have you?"

  I just shook my head.

  "Peter," Sabaan chastised. "Why not?"

  "Yesterday… Last night. It was so good for it to be us again. I didn't want to ruin all that, you know?"

  "Peter, honey," Sabaan whispered, "I understand the sentiment. Really, I do. But you have to tell him what's going on as soon as he wakes. There are things he needs to do to prepare."

  "I know." I pulled more of the blanket up, sighing. "This wasn't what I expected."

  Sabaan lifted one of the blankets and laid down beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I was too cold and too tired to bother arguing. Or to point out that it probably wasn't a good idea for us to be this close.

  As the heat from Sabaan's body began to warm my own, I groaned, laying my head on his chest. "So warm, Sabaan. Can you stay a while?"

  "Yeah." He ran his fingers over my brow, then through my hair. "I think maybe you need a warm body to feed off of for a while."

  "What?"

  "They didn't tell you?"

  I looked up at him. "Tell me what?"

  "You need to be careful of the company you keep until you're transitioned. Your body will exhaust every effort to keep you alive. Since you already have some of the traits of an incubus, its last resort is by feeding off energy. The more alive and powerful the people around you are the better you'll feel."

  "I should be fine once Lucien wakes, then."

  "Lucien's power can be deceptive, Peter. While he seems warm and alive, his power is of the dead. Which makes it a cold power."

  "Sabaan… no. I don't want to talk about all of that right now."

  He sighed and tightened his arms around me. "Okay, then."

  We lay silent for a long while. I enjoyed the heat radiating off him, and might have fallen asleep if other things weren't popping up in my mind.

  "Can I ask you something, Sabaan?"

  "Anything."

  "What do you know of angels?"

  He tensed. "I know of a few specific angels, but not much about them as a whole species. Are you thinking of a specific one?"

/>   I nodded.

  "In this coven?"

  I nodded again.

  "Ah. So you've found out Simon's secret."

  "I want to help him, Sabaan. I want to take away his pain, to give him his wings back."