“Nothing. A bad storm is passing over. I guess the bad part is nearing.”
“Is everything okay? Do you have all the lights turned off? You know how that electricity is in the house.”
I found myself chuckling at his comments concerning the electricity that could be tricky in cases of bad weather. “I swear my grandma’s spirit must have manifested in your body. Are the lights turned off? Really Kem?” I laughed so hard that my face began to ache from the stretching of muscles that had not been used in ages. Kem laughed just as loud as the thunder outside. After he calmed himself, he asked, “So how long are you going to be in Houston?”
“Only for the weekend. I’ve harvested some of the vegetables to bring home, and I think I’ll do some light shopping tomorrow early in the morning before I head out.”
“Okay cool. I also wanted to ask, if it was all right with you, would you consider going to dinner with me some time, you know, as friends?”
“Mr. Sutter, are you asking your ex-wife on a date?” In a direct voice, he uttered, “Yes. I’m asking my ex-wife on a date to which I hope that my ex-wife, Miss Sutter, accepts.” For some reason when Kem spoke in his direct, professional tone of voice, I was ready to shed every ounce of my clothing for a brief inappropriate moment of passion with him.
“Sure, I don’t see any problem with us having dinner together…as friends of course.”
“Great. I’ll let you get back to your night,” he said, disconnecting the call.
I began to recap and replay the oddly positive conversation when another crack of thunder near the window snapped me out of my daydream. The lights went out. Damn, Kem was right, I had too many lights on. Since I could no longer watch television, I ambled up the stairs to my room, lighting candles so I could read over the files from the office. After two hours I was finally finished with my work, but the storm had not lightened up one bit. It was a rare thing for me to have fear, but in that moment my apparent loneliness left me edgy. Fighting the eeriness of my surroundings, I did something against my better judgment when I fished out my cell phone.
It took a minute for the phone call to be answered. “Hey.” Considering we had not spoken two words to each other in the office the entire week, I wanted to reach out to her.
“I wanted to let you know that you did a phenomenal job on the reports.” I felt it was better to start the conversation with good vibes.
“Thanks. It really wasn’t that bad of an assignment after all,” Sandra admitted.
“How are you?” I asked, inquiring about her overall mood.
“I’m okay considering the vomiting has started and Carlos has left to do another drop.”
“How long will he be gone?” Even though Carlos Santiago was not at the top of my priority list of care, I wanted to be supportive of her emotions for her husband.
“Three weeks this time, but he says he’ll slow up on the driving after this last drop.”
“That’s great. He’ll be there for you.” I decided that if she was going to keep on with her charade regarding Carlos being the biological father of the baby, then I was going to support her in that as well, at least as much as I could considering I didn’t agree with her choice.
“Yep. It will be nice to have him around more,” she said audibly smiling over the phone.
“Are you doing well with the morning sickness though?”
“My OB prescribed me some pills that help a lot, but my nutrients are severely lacking.”
“Ginger helps decrease the nausea, too. Did your doctor prescribe prenatal vitamins?” I asked, my motherly instincts to care for Sandra kicking in.
“He did prescribe them, but they’re one of the main causes of my actual vomiting. I just don’t know what to do, Victoria.”
“At the drugstore, they have gummy multivitamins. Grab a bottle that has the same vitamins and minerals listed on your prenatal prescription and use those so you won’t have to be bother with coughing down a huge horse pill.” It’s funny how information tends to stick with a person. “I was just checking in with you, so I’ll see you on Monday.”
“Hey, Victoria,” she muttered, “I’m sorry for my attitude this week. You’re a great friend and boss. With me not having anywhere to turn and you being my only friend, I found myself taking all my troubles out on you and that wasn’t right. I truly apologize and hope you can forgive me.”
“I accept. I apologize as well for being insensitive at times. I realize your world is changing and you have to survive in that world, so I want to do whatever it takes to help you make it through. I’ll support you to the end,” I firmly stated.
“Thank you. You have a great rest of your evening. I’m about to soak in a bubble bath, then off to bed I go.”
“Night, Sandra.” Having the two conversations of the night gave me enough peace to sleep soundly through the night.
Sirens sounding in the distance bolted me out of my sleep. The new sun was dawning with drops of condensation running down the pane of the closed window. My cell phone was going in and out of signal range, but it was able to show me the weather report. Apparently I had slept through several tornados overnight that caused major damage to the roads and a few homes in the neighborhood. The electricity was still out so I was forced to climb out of bed, dressed in a gray tank and white boy shorts to charge my phone in my car when I saw the severity of the destruction. Trees were down on the roads and there were houses doors down that were missing parts or their entire roofs. Terrified, I ran across the street to check on Miss Edna. She answered the door after the second frantic knock.
“Miss Edna, are you okay?” My heart was beating out of my chest knowing that she was sitting in her home alone with no electricity.
“Chile, are you okay?” She put emphasis on the word “you.”
“Yes, I’m fine, but your electricity is out.”
“Now, Babygirl, you know if a squirrel sneezes down the street the electricity blows, so I’m used to this. But you on the other hand”—she gave me a disgusted scowl—“you need to get out of this weather with your pores all open.”
“My pores are open?”
“Yes, chile. I know you not married and all anymore, but your gran would roll over in her grave, Lord rest her soul, if she saw you out here all half-naked.” I gave myself a once-over, and shook my head at her observation.
“If you need anything, Miss Edna, just let me know okay. It looks like I’ll be here a few more days than I planned.”
“Mmhm,” she murmured, then shut the door. By the time I returned to my car, my phone was at fifty percent, so I grabbed it and headed back into the house. Thank goodness I had grabbed all the ripe vegetables from the garden, so I had plenty to eat until the electricity restarted. Using my cell phone as a tether, I was able to get online with my laptop to catch up on the news of the storm. An angel must have watched over me the night before because a tornado touched down only a block away.
After fixing myself a naked salad and grabbing a room-temperature bottle of water, I checked my e-mail and the work database to see if all my reports were uploaded and ready to go. I was able to send Mr. Worshaw an e-mail stating I was going to be out of the office for a few days due to the storms in Houston and that my assistant would print out any reports needed. Once that was sent off, I sent a separate e-mail to Sandra alerting her of my absence.
Knowing that I was going to be in the house for a few days, I decided to make the best of it by sorting through the many novels that lined the bookshelf in my room. There were many classics that I had acquired during high school, but my absolute favorite was Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility. Cracking open the windows and allowing in that after-the-rain-coolness was a welcome gift to the bleak day ahead of me. Wrapped in the complex beauty of the story, I was able to block out the loud equipment cutting down trees and sirens in the background. Halfway through the book, I ventured downstairs to prepare yet another salad when I heard my cell phone ringing in the bedroom. I knew that I would
n’t make it upstairs in time to catch the call, and I didn’t want to be bothered, so I decided to ignore it until later. The humid warmth of the day was enough to make anyone lazy, so I stepped out onto the back porch and sat in the rocking chair with my legs tucked into my chest, enjoying the fresh air and crisp vegetables. Growing your own produce made the meal even more special.
Once I was done, I tipped my bare feet into the muddy backyard, enjoying the cool ooze that surrounded my toes as I tramped to the garden to take inventory of the damage. A few of the stocks were ripped out, but for the most part everything appeared well off. Thank heaven the water heater was gas because I wanted to salvage the remainder of the daylight soaking in a hot tub while enjoying the rest of my book.
The smell of vanilla bubble bath and the sounds of nature were all I needed to make me feel warm and secure as I slipped my tense body into the scalding liquid. Merely being in the house of memories relaxed most of my mind, body, and spirit beyond belief, but a slight uneasiness remained. I was confident the combination of a bubble bath and Jane Austen would eliminate the final kinks. Deep into my read, the water took on a lukewarm, filmy texture, meaning I had to exit my homemade spa before the final chapters.
I rummaged through the luggage that held only a weekend’s worth of clothing, finding nothing clean for me to slip on after my bath. There were a few things left over from my teens in my room that I prayed I could still fit into, but only finding sweatshirts and worn jeans almost made me give up on the search efforts. Then I came across a white cotton gown that dropped to my knees. It was missing the three buttons that fastened it in the front, so the straps tended to droop down my shoulders. The night was cool with the windows ajar causing me to wrap myself in a blanket and curl in the middle of the bed listening to the crickets chirp outside.
My dream came easily since every muscle in my body was shocked from the hot water. I stayed asleep for what seemed like hours when I heard a banging noise downstairs. Jumping upright, I looked out the window toward Miss Edna’s house. I threw the blanket off and raced down the stairs praying that nothing terrible had happened while I slept. I opened it, standing frozen in time. His green eyes gleamed like a sword being shined after touching the hot embers of a fire. Dressed like he just left a high-society party in a black tuxedo complete with bow tie, it was if he was coming to take me to a ball. His eyes scanned my body, stopping at the glow of my cocoa-dipped flesh exposed by the incessant dropping of the strap that seemed to have weights attached, but his fingertips carefully caressed the material back into its proper position.
“Kem? What on earth are you doing here?” I couldn’t help looking him over, getting lost in his mouthwatering scent of expensive cologne.
“Are you going to invite me in?” I stepped to the side so he could enter. Kem glided over the threshold, giving the house a quick visual once over in the dank darkness. “I was worried sick about you all day. I’ve been calling your phone like crazy.” He worked my body over with his eyes.
“I’m fine. The electricity has been out since yesterday, so I’ve worked my cell’s battery to the bone. Plus, the signal is shot from the storm. I must have missed your calls. I apologize, but that was no reason to drive hours into the night. Have a seat since you’re here.” I lit a few candles, setting them in the darkened living room so we could sit and talk.
“Of course it was reason to drive for hours. A huge storm full of tornadoes hits only minutes away from my wife? Yes, I’m on the first thing smoking.”
I snickered at his oversight. “Your wife?”
He grinned. “Sorry, force of habit, and you know what I meant.”
“At any rate, I’m fine. No damage was done to the house or the garden, but the electricity is out unfortunately.” His tense body seemed to relax once I reassured him that all was well. “You’re a little overdressed to go rescuing a damsel in distress, don’t you think?” He looked down, chuckling at his attire under the glow of the candlelight as if he didn’t realize he was wearing a tuxedo.
“My parents were having an event and it was mandatory that all the children were in attendance.” I sat upright, mouth gaping open at his revelation that yet again Kem went against his parents to come to my aide.
“Kem, you didn’t have to leave the event.” He pivoted his body toward mine, grabbing my hands within his.
“I’m not going to repeat this again. There is no questioning me when I took vows to protect you always. It doesn’t matter if we are married or not and I truly hope that is understood here and going forth.” I nodded, thinking it wise to not refute his claim. “Me leaving the event meant nothing. I spent the entire time outside calling you anyway. Plus they’ve been throwing these parties a lot lately, two in the last week since I have stayed at the house.” So that is where he’s been running off to. I broke out in laughter thinking off all the lascivious things that could have been going on when he left at night.
“What’s so funny?”
Embarrassed, I tried to shy my face away from his watchful gaze. “Nothing at all.”
“Come on. You can tell me.”
“I can’t believe I’m about to admit this,” I said to his attentive glare. “I thought you were going on dates this past week. I thought that was the reason for you leaving at night and not coming in until morning.”
He grinned. “I told you that I’m not thinking about dating at this time. My mind is elsewhere.” One side of his lip curled higher than the other. “Now don’t tell me you were getting jealous.”
Refusing to discuss it any further knowing that my embarrassment was soon to turn into shame, I stood, stating, “I don’t want to discuss it anymore.” Kem grasped the tips of my fingers bringing my attention back to his bewitching and hypnotizing emeralds that were giving my heart a much needed jolt.
“Don’t be embarrassed. It actually makes me feel…” He paused as if to gather his words. “It makes me feel noticed.” The final word took me by surprise. The entire marriage I was the one living in the shadows, but he felt unnoticed.
“It’s getting late. We probably should get some rest. I’m sure you’re beat from all that driving. You can take my old room and I’ll be in Grandma’s while you stay.”
“Okay.”
We both ascended the stairs with him going to one side of the hall and I directly across from him. As I lay in bed, I thought about Kem feeling invisible. Being the middle child of three, I know he usually got lost in the fold. His parents never really paid any special attention to him, which gave him the eccentric personality that people loved. The question is, how does he feel unnoticed by me and was this true during our marriage?
I tossed and turned, plagued by his words. I notice him plenty, so why would he say that? In a hypnotic trance, I rose from the bed and flitted to the doorway of my old bedroom, wondering if he was awake in the moonlit room.
“Vic?”
I jumped. Why am I standing here?
“Did I wake you?” I asked, contemplating if I should brush the conversation off and return to bed.
“No. I was enjoying the coolness of the open window. It’s like a heat wave in Dallas. Did you need something?” My mind scrambled, coming up with a logical reason why I was there.
“I couldn’t sleep.” I could make out him turning from his stomach to his back.
“Come here,” he said. Like a vampire drawing me in, I floated across to his bedside. He pulled me down to sit while he lay on his side. The moonlight glowed across his bronze, tanned skin, making me shiver. Sliding the loop of my sleeve over my open skin, he whispered, “What’s going on?” Kem’s fingertips lingered on my skin for a beat, making me bite my tongue.
“I stayed awake wondering about how you felt in the past.”
“What do you mean about how I felt?” I propped my knee on the bed and turned in his direction.
“How did you feel during our marriage? You said that you felt noticed tonight, so that made me wonder if you thought I didn’t notice you durin
g our marriage.” He rolled to his back, propping his head up with his hand. The tattoos of band emblems, skulls, and cartoons covered him from wrist to shoulder but the largest piece on his ribs was calling for me to lay my body against it.
“I don’t know why I even said that earlier. You don’t have to worry about it. It really was nothing,” he stated looking at the ceiling.
“No, you said it for a reason, so tell me how you felt in the past.” I took a breath to gather the courage to finish. “Tell me how you feel now in regards to how I treat you.”
“Forgive me for this,” he said before he pulled me down into his arms, wrapping me up in him. Hesitantly I situated my hand over his heart, and then I nuzzled my head under his chin and melted into his skin. “Now we can talk. During our marriage, I know my absence became the norm in our household, and since we were fresh out of college when I started traveling, we devoted our lives to our chosen career fields. Not to mention the other stresses we were under.”
“Like your parents,” I blurted.
“Yes my parents, and the death of Nan. When Nan passed you, became very withdrawn and that bothered me. I know of the insecurities you had with our relationship, but I thought that all the strides I was making, even though I was gone a lot, showed you that you were number one.”
“I know you appreciated me, Kem, but it was if we had lost our connection to one another.”
“The thing is, after you lost the one connection you had in your life, you walled yourself off. I as your husband became invisible, making any and every threat to our marriage more apparent in your eyes. I should have been stronger, fighting to the end, but in the long run, I just wanted you happy.”
“I didn’t wall you out. It was just so difficult over the years knowing that others thought we weren’t a good match.” He grasped my chin, bringing his eyes into my line of sight. “What matters is we were the only match. Why? Because your husband said so, and my wife should have trusted that. Over my life, I was molded to be someone who was not a good match for my personality, so when I got old enough to make my own decisions I became the person I was supposed to be. Why do you think I chose to hassle you during our freshman year? You weren’t even looking my way, vying for my attention like so many others, but I was grateful for the mercy of your heart, because it chose mine forever.”
Wronged Desires Page 7